FabSwingers.com forum: gender question

By *astpoet OP Man
over a year ago

where the world takes me

posted this in advice but not getting many responses so thought i'd try here to see if i got more

So i have a question for the fabbers, i don't see myself as a cd or tv/ts but i do love dressing occasionally in sexy clothing that's associated to other genders.

I currently have my gender set as male, because that's how i identify, but i was wondering if people think i should change it to tv/ts because that would suit what people are looking for more closely, and i wouldn't give them a shock when i messaged.

I do say on my profile about my kinks and tastes so i hope i'm being open, but i'm thinking about the search.

What's your thoughts and thank you in advance

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

There's no way I can say this without someone on here being offended so I'll just cut straight to the point.

It does not matter how you identify or label yourself on here. That's your right.

But we can not and should not pretend labels do not matter. It's not always a bad thing.

Like it or not, plenty of people are not willing to step outside of traditional gender boundaries so just make sure your clear in your profile.

And before anyone gets on a soap box (as often happens), I could not care less how another identifies or what your sexual orientation is. It's neither my nor anyone elses business unless you're planning on getting intimate. More power to you for being yourself I say. But I do know if I thought I was meeting a woman and a penis turned up in the mix that wasn't mine or a toy, I'd be upset. All I'm getting at here is that it takes two to tango and more to conga but as long as everyone's dancing to the same tune, it's all good.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Downham Market

...at the risk of being pounded, I'd say that TV/CD shouldn't be "gender" choices.

(Bry)

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By *umslaveTV/TS
over a year ago

Sheffield

Worms meet can opener!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone else could probably answer this better than me but I’d say you should put your gender as whatever you intend to meet as. Not to label yourself or anything like that but more so you can find your target audience and save a lot of time messaging people who might not be interested.

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By *astpoet OP Man
over a year ago

where the world takes me

thanks for the answers. I think i'm a little more complicated as i don't "intend" to meet any one way or the other.

Sometimes i'll dress up, sometimes i won't, on other sites this counts as gender flexible (though to be honest in my case it's got bugger all to do with gender)

And yes obviously it will never be a "HEY SURPRISE" moment, i'm not a psycho and consent is a two way street.

Saying that changing your gender - for search purposes only - on here isn't easy, you can't change it depending on your mood, so it's a touch more complicated.

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By *astpoet OP Man
over a year ago

where the world takes me

"...at the risk of being pounded, I'd say that TV/CD shouldn't be "gender" choices.

(Bry)"

Trans is a gender, much like non binary, cd is a kink (which may be wrapped up with someone being trans but not out yet with themselves, but not always).

Though as i've said i mostly don't care about genders or sexuality personally (not the word personally, that means me, not what i expect of others).

I'm just happy with one big sexy world of fun and i'll treat each person i meet on their own merits.

Which doesn't help my question in the slightest as other people don't, and the search filters definitely don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thanks for the answers. I think i'm a little more complicated as i don't "intend" to meet any one way or the other.

Sometimes i'll dress up, sometimes i won't, on other sites this counts as gender flexible (though to be honest in my case it's got bugger all to do with gender)

And yes obviously it will never be a "HEY SURPRISE" moment, i'm not a psycho and consent is a two way street.

Saying that changing your gender - for search purposes only - on here isn't easy, you can't change it depending on your mood, so it's a touch more complicated."

I’ve never changed my gender on here so don’t know how it works but would it be possible to change it before meets depending on what gender you intend to meet as? Or even have 2 profiles?

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By *astpoet OP Man
over a year ago

where the world takes me

"thanks for the answers. I think i'm a little more complicated as i don't "intend" to meet any one way or the other.

Sometimes i'll dress up, sometimes i won't, on other sites this counts as gender flexible (though to be honest in my case it's got bugger all to do with gender)

And yes obviously it will never be a "HEY SURPRISE" moment, i'm not a psycho and consent is a two way street.

Saying that changing your gender - for search purposes only - on here isn't easy, you can't change it depending on your mood, so it's a touch more complicated.

I’ve never changed my gender on here so don’t know how it works but would it be possible to change it before meets depending on what gender you intend to meet as? Or even have 2 profiles?"

That's the problem you have to ask the admin to change it you can't do it yourself, otherwise it wouldn't be a problem.

Two profiles would work, but then it's also two payments for supporters perks and benefits.

Hence my quandary really.

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By *ornyandachingCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Watching the news about the refugees they are talking about women and men. Birth certificates are male or female. Death certificates are the same, whatever happens in between is upto people on how they want to live their lives but not everyone or every form will accommodate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thanks for the answers. I think i'm a little more complicated as i don't "intend" to meet any one way or the other.

Sometimes i'll dress up, sometimes i won't, on other sites this counts as gender flexible (though to be honest in my case it's got bugger all to do with gender)

And yes obviously it will never be a "HEY SURPRISE" moment, i'm not a psycho and consent is a two way street.

Saying that changing your gender - for search purposes only - on here isn't easy, you can't change it depending on your mood, so it's a touch more complicated.

I’ve never changed my gender on here so don’t know how it works but would it be possible to change it before meets depending on what gender you intend to meet as? Or even have 2 profiles?

That's the problem you have to ask the admin to change it you can't do it yourself, otherwise it wouldn't be a problem.

Two profiles would work, but then it's also two payments for supporters perks and benefits.

Hence my quandary really."

I’m not really that clued up on these things so someone else will probably be able to help more. Maybe just leave your gender as is but clarify on your bio. I hope you manage to find a solution

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