FabSwingers.com forum: Persuading your partner to swing with you?

By *oger That OP Man
over a year ago

essex

I’m sure this has been asked before, but I’m at that time when i seriously would like my partner to get into the swing community so we can go to events parties and meets together.

She is quite prim and proper (not saying those on here aren't) but it’s a bit of a make or break question i feel and i really don’t want it to be the break, but don’t want to continue with this curiosity to get involved either. A lot of people must have gone through this scenario?

curiosity to get involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly how long have you been with your partner and does she know your already into it?

For us neither of us had to persuade the other, it was something we wanted to do together, how it came about? We talked about our fantasies and which ones we would make real if we could!

Then we talked about it and talked about to make sure it was what we wanted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure this has been asked before, but I’m at that time when i seriously would like my partner to get into the swing community so we can go to events parties and meets together.

curiosity to get involved."

lol, single guy' with a partner.

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By *oger That OP Man
over a year ago

essex

15 years and no she is unaware. For this reason i have never met anyone else. I have never wasted anyones time and not showed or any of that rubbish, and alsways give my reasons and have some good friendships on here where i talk to others and like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" lol, single guy' with a partner."

Brilliant, second comment in and the Judgement Police are on the case already!

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you brought that to our attention, given the subject of the post. Are you really Laughing Out Loud? probably not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" lol, single guy' with a partner.

Brilliant, second comment in and the Judgement Police are on the case already!

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you brought that to our attention, given the subject of the post. Are you really Laughing Out Loud? probably not."

Just a bit hard to get your partner involved in swinging when you are yourself already happily cheating away on a site like this. Surely that speaks to the point of the original post-how to get a partner involved-no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"15 years and no she is unaware. For this reason i have never met anyone else. I have never wasted anyones time and not showed or any of that rubbish, and alsways give my reasons and have some good friendships on here where i talk to others and like that.

Well if you want to persuade your partner I think you need to start being honest with her!!

If I found out my OH was on a site such as this without my knowledge I think it would be safe to say I wouldn't be a happy bunny!!

And vise versa!

Maybe over dinner one evening tell her about the site and show her your profile!!

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By *oger That OP Man
over a year ago

essex

shoot me for in Doncaster man....

I've changed it as i realise i have no interest or intention in meeting as a single guy. I thought i would, but when it comes to it i dont so have changed.

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By *oger That OP Man
over a year ago

essex

i knew id get in trouble for this..

I dont see any harm in flirtatious chat to be honest, and that is all it is. I want to do the meet thing and clubs hence this post. I would only got to that level if she was with me or completely happy with it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" lol, single guy' with a partner.

Brilliant, second comment in and the Judgement Police are on the case already!

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you brought that to our attention, given the subject of the post. Are you really Laughing Out Loud? probably not.

Hes not cheating away he just said he hasnt met anyone and to.be fair.he has no veris so it is probably true. People on here always so quick to judge and criticise.others i dont get it

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe a discussion with your partner to explore fantasies and to see what sexual limits you both have and may wish to explore.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i knew id get in trouble for this..

I am not judging you, or shooting you down!!

But if you want your partner to consider this lifestyle then it should be done together, that's why I said maybe show her your profile over dinner one evening, talk to her about her fantasies and see if she wants to make them reality!!

If she doesn't show any interest then it's probably something she doesn't want to do!

Swinging isn't for everyone. Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your choices for being on here are your own - but I'm a little confused about your profile content!

You live alone although you've been in a relationship 15 yrs?

You quote problems with an ex mucking up a relationship? From when you were 19 ?

All seems a little strange - but as I said earlier your reasons for being here are your own and I'm not one to judge. But if you truly want to introduce her to this lifestyle I'd strongly suggest you need to also mention the bi thing, and possibly come off the site before raising the subject with her. As you've stated you've not been meeting, if that's the case then all you've been is 'virtually curious' - which I'm sure thousands do every day in one shape or form! And if she's interested or curious herself - start afresh with a new couples profile and see how things go at your own pace!

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By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

I just asked the now wife (she was my girlfriend at the time) if she had ever been with another woman (many women i know tried it at an early age.

Ask her that then if she say no and never want to ask her if she has ever fantisised about having more than one man.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife dosent know I crossdress or come on hear. I Just chat Mabey some phone sex. I think I end up on hear as I get sex once a month because she finds it hurts to much. We do everything Dr days its Just the way she's made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have thought that after a 15 year relationship you would have had at least an inkling by now as to whether she is interested in this type of thing or not....as you havent, Id say she's either not or you two never actually communicate.

Maybe she also has a profile here or somewhere similar and is having the same thoughts as you lol

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

If she needs 'persuading' then it's not for her. Sounds like you need to be single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I was "prim and proper" when hubby asked me to have a look at a site like this. I nearly blew my top and said never would I consider it. He said ok just read thwe stories if you fancy and we wont do anything you dont want to.One thing led to another and we talked. We had a social meet and boy was I excited. It took a few months to actually play but now I love the scene and we have not looked back.I used to think sex had to be with someone you love.My upbringing got in the way.

In the end if she doesnt want to you cant persuede her.

Sorry this is so long.

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By *g99Couple
over a year ago

Don't just ask her outright if she want to go swinging. Talk about fantasies and see if any of them include other people, to begin with I didn't want to go swinging and was persuaded just to try it and see how tongs went, I have never looked back since, but some of my fantasies did involve older men and being with women, she might nt want to swing, which means you can either be single or stop you decide

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

If you haven't raised the subject in all those years then be very careful. Her first reaction will be you are fed up with her and want someone else. I agree with the idea about exploring fantasies slowly and see what she'd like to do and what she's not prepared to do. After many years of marriage I asked my ex outright if she would like to try a swinging club and she went absolutely ballistic. During our marriage she'd had a couple of affairs but despite that she saw sex as a strictly private and one-on-one activity.

We're both on our second marriages and discussed swinging soon after we'd first met, so decided to give it a try by visiting a club. We were both honest about our fantasies and our need for sex outside a relationship and it worked for us.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Well I was "prim and proper" when hubby asked me to have a look at a site like this. I nearly blew my top and said never would I consider it. He said ok just read thwe stories if you fancy and we wont do anything you dont want to.One thing led to another and we talked. We had a social meet and boy was I excited. It took a few months to actually play but now I love the scene and we have not looked back.I used to think sex had to be with someone you love.My upbringing got in the way.

In the end if she doesnt want to you cant persuede her.

Sorry this is so long.

great post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure this has been asked before, but I’m at that time when i seriously would like my partner to get into the swing community so we can go to events parties and meets together.

curiosity to get involved."

Put bluntly..... Try to 'persuade' your partner to go into swinging and it will come back and kick YOU in the arse BIG TIME.

Without wishing to sound like a boring old fart (but I am going to) I have been in and out of swinging for a LONG time. I have come across many people (male and female) who have been 'persuaded', 'cajoled', 'beaten' into taking part in recreational sex with complete strangers (which is what this largely is) who have been put off the whole scene - OR WORSE - thanks to their 'partner' who was dead keen to get into it.

Your partner has GOT to come to to this in HER own time - not YOURS.

By all means, have an open and adult conversation (or more) about it and lay your cards on the table. But.. there is one rule in swinging - 'No' means 'NO'. It may be make or break time for YOU, but if she loves you and wants only you, how are you going to leave her feeling if you turn round and say 'if you won't do this with me, it's over'?????? Hmmm..????

If you're part of a couple and want to swing, you MUST meet her half way - and if her 'half way' is 'No', then it's not going to happen.

Swinging as a couple is NOT the same as swinging as a single. End of.

Boring old fart rant over (and I do apologise to the Faberatti for ranting on a Friday

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure this has been asked before, but I’m at that time when i seriously would like my partner to get into the swing community so we can go to events parties and meets together.

curiosity to get involved.

Put bluntly..... Try to 'persuade' your partner to go into swinging and it will come back and kick YOU in the arse BIG TIME.

Your partner has GOT to come to to this in HER own time - not YOURS.

If you're part of a couple and want to swing, you MUST meet her half way - and if her 'half way' is 'No', then it's not going to happen.

Swinging as a couple is NOT the same as swinging as a single. End of.

Boring old fart rant over (and I do apologise to the Faberatti for ranting on a Friday

)

Exactly. I have got 3 ex gfs and a w ife into swinging, they ended up hating me and it, as it was not something they wanted to do for themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you have to pursued them, you

shouldn't be fucking swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" lol, single guy' with a partner.

Brilliant, second comment in and the Judgement Police are on the case already!

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you brought that to our attention, given the subject of the post. Are you really Laughing Out Loud? probably not.

Hes not cheating away he just said he hasnt met anyone and to.be fair.he has no veris so it is probably true. People on here always so quick to judge and criticise.others i dont get it

How quick people are to jump on the man....if only they could read properly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with OP who said start by asking her about her fantasies. She if she has any fantasies which might then lead to you asking if she would like to ever live them out.

Benz was a swinger with his ex wife so I sort of knew about swinging but still I was very innocent. I never dreamed we would swing. Benz one night asked a out my fantasies and one of mine was to be watched while having sex. That lead to web camming with other couples and moved on from there.

It's great you have decided not to play without her.

Try starting with her fantasies abd she what she reveals. You may be suprised what naughty thoughts are in her head I know Benz was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with OP who said start by asking her about her fantasies. She if she has any fantasies which might then lead to you asking if she would like to ever live them out.

It's great you have decided not to play without her.

Try starting with her fantasies abd she what she reveals. You may be suprised what naughty thoughts are in her head I know Benz was

lol, he won't play without her, lmfao

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