FabSwingers.com forum: Abusive messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules) "

Question.

Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, and I’ve received none today.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Damn, from the same person, too?

Honestly? Block and report after the first one... would have stopped the other 10!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)

Question.

Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. "

Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

None x

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)

Question.

Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)

Question.

Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. "

I was logged off and logged into 10 messages from them hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am only on five today, I usually just block the idiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Morons hiding behind a website because they can't get what they want as a guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None. It's rare I receive anything that I find offensive/abusive, but then I don't receive that many messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)

Question.

Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10.

Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?"

Yes because it's obviously the womans fault when they receive abusive messages on here

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By *ornynorfolkguyMan
over a year ago

North Norfolk

Was rather comical that I sent a sarcastic response that resulted in a block. They’d only been on here a couple of days too

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?"

No one should have to ...but it's Fab

...and that's sad

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

None but I've hidden my profile and haven't been messaging anyone x

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I’m on 8.

Though three of them are from the same person. The first one was so funny in its lack of originality that I couldn’t help poor the beast by scoring it 2/10

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

*poke the beast

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m on 8.

Though three of them are from the same person. The first one was so funny in its lack of originality that I couldn’t help poor the beast by scoring it 2/10"

Yeah mine weren't great, out of the 11, 5 of the then were repeated

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By *andyh78Man
over a year ago

manchester

What sort of abudive comments do you get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None today

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What sort of abudive comments do you get?"

I won't be specific on these messages but in general, I get called different variations if the word 'fat' and some lovely racist comments as well

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

OP I hope you reported the idiot/idiots?

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By *dreamofunicornsWoman
over a year ago

wakefield

None today

But always block after i receive one.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

"I’m on 8.

Though three of them are from the same person. The first one was so funny in its lack of originality that I couldn’t help poor the beast by scoring it 2/10

Yeah mine weren't great, out of the 11, 5 of the then were repeated

They’re never particularly good.

I wouldn’t mind so much if they were at least original

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t received any for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had one today. No need for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve sent a sarcastic one to somebody who had sent a friend request but hadn’t even messaged us. Unfortunately for them they were the last straw in the pot today. So they might have found the sarcasm offensive……but in that case dilligaf !

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

It’s all I get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really what is the point in sending messages like that.

It's life accept and move on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really what is the point in sending messages like that.

It's life accept and move on!"

If that’s aimed at us we look on it as trying to help educate the uneducated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear that, OP. How unpleasant to log in and find those

I had my profile off most of today so just messages from friends. Does it help if you use filters?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sorry to hear that, OP. How unpleasant to log in and find those

I had my profile off most of today so just messages from friends. Does it help if you use filters? "

I have allllll of the filters applied

I get them all the time. If I don't reply I get them, if I do reply I get them

It's a lose lose situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just bloke and move on,plenty of idiots ruin it for the genuine on here

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By *ieandteaseMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

There's people on here who would enjoy abusive messages & can't get any.

Funny old website.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

Ive had one today, delightful man and his over inflated ego

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is shocking, OP. I hope you’re ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Zero but we do say we’re not meeting in our profile header.

I think couples get a lot less because of the 50/50 chance it’s the male responding. Just block and move on. If they need to resort to abuse they’re clearly not worth your time.

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By *jekimMan
over a year ago

Wigan

I only get them after I refuse a gay man for the tenth time haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really? I've been on here 7 years and can only remember one outright abusive message

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Don't think I've ever had an abusive or offensive message.

I choose not to get offended by words on a screen from a random I will never meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't think I've ever had an abusive or offensive message.

I choose not to get offended by words on a screen from a random I will never meet.

When unless you recieve messages calling you a black bitch it's not really upto to make side comments about whether people get offended by "words on a screen"

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By *ownhamguyMan
over a year ago

Battle

Maybe a thread where people get named and shamed

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Don't think I've ever had an abusive or offensive message.

I choose not to get offended by words on a screen from a random I will never meet.

When unless you recieve messages calling you a black bitch it's not really upto to make side comments about whether people get offended by "words on a screen"

It wasn't a snide comment. I can fully understand why certain things will offend people. I was only explaining my point of view of messages from here. The other person does not know me. I dont know them. Their words have no importance. Their opinion of me is irrelevant to me and the block button is a handy tool.

I hit that button and never give them a second thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't had any today, still early though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.

Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?

Also why receive more than one from the same person?

We’d block them immediately.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.

Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?

Also why receive more than one from the same person?

We’d block them immediately. "

Yes of course its my fault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.

Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?

Also why receive more than one from the same person?

We’d block them immediately.

Yes of course its my fault

Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem?

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By *ubergenieWoman
over a year ago

Neath

I can't say I've experienced abusive messages - but I do get the odd ones asking to buy my knickers etc. It's an interesting world.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.

Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?

Also why receive more than one from the same person?

We’d block them immediately.

Yes of course its my fault

Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem? "

First of all I have already stated that I get just as many when I don't respond at all

And 2nd of all whether I'm sarcastic or not doesn't mean I deserve to be fat shamed or racially abused as a response

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can replies to this stay on the forum please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always get them from lady’s as well as men this place is what it is

Tend to just ignore more on got a very personal one slagging me off Friday from lady one on Saturday off man

My attitude now is pass on by fro

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry to hear that, OP. How unpleasant to log in and find those

I had my profile off most of today so just messages from friends. Does it help if you use filters?

I have allllll of the filters applied

I get them all the time. If I don't reply I get them, if I do reply I get them

It's a lose lose situation "

It sounds crap. I've seen other women say they're getting similar messages regularly and it gets to them. Of course it would. Are they just from men - are you tempted to just look for women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.

Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?

Also why receive more than one from the same person?

We’d block them immediately.

Yes of course its my fault

Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem? "

NO. The people who send the messages are the problem. What an appalling comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am only on five today, I usually just block the idiots"

Never

you are lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just report & block..

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

If someone sends one they get blocked. Simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

none so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am only on five today, I usually just block the idiots

Never

you are lovely

Usually just idiots who are jealous I guess or I have declined their offers of a meet

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I hope you’re ok OP. It’s easy to say ignore but sometimes it can be upsetting.

I had 1 today, wasn’t necessarily abusive. Was called an ignorant cretin

because I deleted a message sent from a hidden profile xx

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By *ickedwillyCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

Sadly some gents haven’t got a clue look at it as a plus it saves you meeting them.

Good luck

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

None since we blocked single guys. Although a few cpls who wanted soft swap got abusive when we said sorry thats not for us so its not just single men either.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

[Removed by poster at 27/02/22 09:13:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many have you recieved today?

I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me

11 of them were from the same person

(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)

Question.

Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10.

Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?"

But how does that happen? How do you get someone to reflect on their behaviours?

Some people are systematic in their abuse, some do so out of frustration. Some do it because they can

Nothing wrong with protecting yourself, I see blocking as looking out for myself because you cannot rely on others to let alone the abuser

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.

Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?

Also why receive more than one from the same person?

We’d block them immediately.

Yes of course its my fault

Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem?

NO. The people who send the messages are the problem. What an appalling comment.

Unfortunately this kind of comment always gets brought up doing a discussion like that

And the people who make these comments also ignore the fact that women get just as many abusive messages when they delete messages without responding as they do when they reply "no thank you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't received abusive messages on here and I am thankful for that.

NBVN x

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

First off it's terrible that you've received such messages, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with it, but I do wonder why you don't use procedures to reduce the likelihood of it happening?

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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago

belfast

Very very few that I know of,but then I only open messages from folk I know or have chatted to,I simply delete any unsolicited mail from guys (as it says on my profile),or from couples I suspect are male dominated

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By *cooby07_1Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Wonder why they do it if you say you not interested thst should be it ,if you don’t reply they must no but a lot is sad people who can’t take no at all

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By *rDiscretionXXXMan
over a year ago

Gilfach

I've not received any today, but a few weeks back I got a single word message from a man. I'm not looking for guys so I ignored it. He followed it up a day later with a 5 word message (or at least 3 words and 2 textspeak abbreviations), then 2 hours later with a 3 word insult saying that I was rude for not replying.

I'm a fat, mid-fifties guy with no profile pictures. I really didn't expect to get hassle for not replying to unsolicited messages.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be an attractive female on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First off it's terrible that you've received such messages, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with it, but I do wonder why you don't use procedures to reduce the likelihood of it happening?

The OP has indicated she has all filters on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am only on five today, I usually just block the idiots

Never

you are lovely

Usually just idiots who are jealous I guess or I have declined their offers of a meet"

You know I want to meet

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"We’ve sent a sarcastic one to somebody who had sent a friend request but hadn’t even messaged us. Unfortunately for them they were the last straw in the pot today. So they might have found the sarcasm offensive……but in that case dilligaf !

We do that, we sent a very sarcastic message to the profile that sent us a friends request this morning point out all the reasons why we would not be accepting said friends request. It has been read and deleted so clearly our helpful pointers on how to improve their profile in order to get more from their profile was clear not taken on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to send my standard mantra to the asshats:

" I'm 97% sure you don't like me but 100% sure I don't care".

Does the job everytime.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We must be lucky in that we've never had an abusive message!

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

None for over a week now, cuz I blocked the guy for the 4th time.

Suzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope no abusive messages for us thankfully we don’t seem to come up on their radar

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I haven't for a while now thankfully. If I reply with a no thanks, I do tend to block now just to ensure they can't come back with any insults.

There's absolutely no need for it, here or anywhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last abusive message we received was from a “couple” who decried Smoke’s “Ridiculous fake tits”

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By *ilf and old fartCouple
over a year ago

Between Ely and Mildenhall

"None. It's rare I receive anything that I find offensive/abusive, but then I don't receive that many messages."

Now you have said that, you'll be inundated with messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today not so much but some of the unsolicited abuse received is crazy.

Abs the best ones are those that send abuse then block.. what’s that about

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Such as?

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By *hubby CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Blocking males and you make the first move simples

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I receive a lot of messages and 99,9% of them are polite.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"just bloke and move on,plenty of idiots ruin it for the genuine on here "

How do idiots ruin it for the genuine? This gets said soon often buts it’s not true at all.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

None so far but I’ve not checked after my last few posts

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I've not had any abusive messages today, but I usually receive several every week. Sorry you've had a run of them OP. Some of the comments on this thread are shocking, with people unable to comprehend what it can be like for people receiving unpleasant messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blocking males and you make the first move simples

Some women won't want to do this. Why should they have to change their behaviour when they're not at fault?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

If you can't say something nice, say nothing. Never send abusive messages. Stay classy guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just the one today which is good. Said he wasn't her type and he asked why we are on a site if we're not going to fuck everyone HaHa then got abusive

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Such as?"

Blocking those that you're not interested in.

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Just the one today which is good. Said he wasn't her type and he asked why we are on a site if we're not going to fuck everyone HaHa then got abusive "

Jesus

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I've never had any abusive messages, but then I don't get that many messages anyway.

I do get strange and unhappy ones, but if they are a problem, I just block.

Nobody should get abuse, sadly some people just cannot accept rejection or anyone with a different viewpoint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get nice ones ...

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