FabSwingers.com forum: Gaslighting

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Please explain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend of mine had this done to him, made me angry when I found out. It is when a manipulative person makes the other question their own mind and sanity, by fabricating things over time. It is psychological abuse, often partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gaslighting is a negative tactic in which “the gaslighter" tries (consciously or not) to make the other person or people sense that their reactions, perceptions, memories, and beliefs are not just mistaken, but completely unfounded

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Totnes

Doctors telling long COVID (or me/CFS) patients they are anxious neurotic, nothing wrong with them ..and also making the same aruements to politicians and or publishing in the press or medical journals

And the patient community questions it's sanity ..is powerless to respond ...and if they try to ..met with scorn and disbelief...

It's true unfortunately ...

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

what’s the difference between that and narcissism?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gaslighting is a strategy a narcissist uses as one of many to increase their own self worth and importance.

It's one of many strategies deployed by the self loving, self centered scum.

After many years being married to a narcissist, this was the hardest to deal with.

J..

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Gaslighting is a strategy a narcissist uses as one of many to increase their own self worth and importance.

It's one of many strategies deployed by the self loving, self centered scum.

After many years being married to a narcissist, this was the hardest to deal with.

J.."

Ah so it is linked then. It does sound like two very similar things.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Gaslighting is used by abusers, as well as narcissistic folks.

It’s a control tactic. Especially with someone who has little confidence. A friend of mine was gaslighted for years by her husband and genuinely thought she had a terrible memory. It wasn’t until she started keeping a very detailed diary that she realise she wasn’t stupid/forgetful/etc.

He wasn’t a narcissist. He was just a nasty prick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"what’s the difference between that and narcissism?"

Mostly letters of the alphabet and definitions on the Oxford / Cambridge dictionary I guess.

However, gaslighters probably have a different opinion about this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gaslighting is used by abusers

It’s a control tactic. Especially with someone who has little confidence.

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

It's what my narcissist ex thinks I was doing to her over the years to make her feel better about herself.

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By *amspoonsMan
over a year ago

North East

Its what you have to do before you can boil an egg or something on the hob if you a gas cooker.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

As others have said it’s a tactic used by bullies and abusers to undermine your belief in your experience of being bullied or abused to try to make it feel like either you are imagining it, or that’s it’s all your own fault anyway. Examples of the kind of classic gaslighting phrases you hear are-

1.‘Stop being so insecure’

2. ‘You are just being paranoid’

3. ‘You are way too emotional’

4. ‘Please stop being so dramatic’

5. ‘You are just making this up’

6. ‘Stop imagining things!’

7. ‘That never happened’

8. ‘You are just overthinking it’

9. ‘Stop exaggerating the situation!’

10. ‘Stop taking it so seriously’

11. ‘Can you not take a joke?’

12. ‘You are just misconstruing my intentions’

13. ‘You are being unnecessarily jealous’

14. ‘The problem isn’t with me, it is with you’

15. ‘You just have zero emotional security’

16. ‘That was never my intention, stop blaming me’

17. ‘I think you need help’

18. ‘Just forget about it now’

19. ‘You are remembering it wrong’

20. ‘Cmon, stop making such a huge deal of things’

It’s amazing how often you see some of these comments in some forum threads too when people are being offensive or abusive and try to push the blame back on the offended person.

‘I was just having a joke’ said every bully/narcissistic abuser ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks 'inequal to dynamite confines'

Did the Army use explosives or nonce fali

} One slide down beside to hide it inside {

Don't be fooled it takes more than a Pall to be Paid MONIE

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Totnes

Gaslighting is also used by people who simply have a very firm set of views or beliefs, they might even think they are doing no harm ..it's a mix of arrogance, not listening, not even looking at the evidence and actively arguing the other point of view or experience is just nonsense ...and pushing that perspective ...

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Totnes

Some people that gaslight don't necessarily have all the attributes of a narcissist ..I think..

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

Had this from a psychopath ex wife, made me question my own memory, intelligence, value.... all were more than fine !. I made a list of compliments from professionals, employers, intelligence and EQ tests, past girlfriends, customers and even the psychopath ex herself to refer to and maintain my sanity

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