FabSwingers.com forum: "Hardened..." ?

By *ohjane OP Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

Hello All

Can anyone put me out of my misery?

I keep reading in ads that someone "has experience but is not a hardened swinger.."

What is the definition of a hardened swinger, or is there more than one ?

I would appreciate the opinions of the gentlefolk on here.

Thank you.

Hugs to all

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is usually used in the negative (e.g. "We're not hardened Swingers") and simply means very experienced Swingers who are very active in the scene.

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By *ohjane OP Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

Thanks for that, Unusual suspect

But it still leaves me with the question of what exactly a hardened one is.

Jane x

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

My definition of hardened in the swinging scene would be cpls or such who are doing it every weekend or even 2 or 3 times every weekend which is not for us personally but not going to judge others on it either as its each to his own.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Dont think the boys gang would know what anything hard means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My definition is swinger/s that have been doing so for some time and have had many meets, or/and been to many parties/clubs.

So I guess those that say experienced but not hardened are like us, have had a few meets and been to a few parties, but no experts on the scene.

Still in training ish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont think the boys gang would know what anything hard means"

I don't know about that, I'm sure they realise how 'hard' faced some of the posse are!! ;-0

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Hardened swingers is not a very nice definition of having had lots of experience is it?

It sounds so.....hard lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Dont think the boys gang would know what anything hard means

I don't know about that, I'm sure they realise how 'hard' faced some of the posse are!! ;-0

ooooh smack yer bum for that! lol

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By *ayesduoCouple
over a year ago

Hayes

"Hardened swingers is not a very nice definition of having had lots of experience is it?

It sounds so.....hard lol

Agree with you there hot... think we should work towards renaming it to 'Experienced Folks'

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By *ayesduoCouple
over a year ago

Hayes

Damn the no edit button.

I meant to say agree with Honeypot lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Damn the no edit button.

I meant to say agree with Honeypot lol"

Hahaha thats ok you can call me hot if you like

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By *ayesduoCouple
over a year ago

Hayes

"Damn the no edit button.

I meant to say agree with Honeypot lol

Hahaha thats ok you can call me hot if you like "

Haha! lol... I don't think we needed to call you 'hot'. You fully deserve that status and it needs no confirmation lol

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By *ayesduoCouple
over a year ago

Hayes

ooh just though of a great new idea for fabs... don't you think it would be a good idea to notify all members of an active forum topic when new posts are added?

Can't be bothered to add it to the feedback section though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in our terms being in the scene a good many yrs or going to clubs regularly is not the definition of "hardend" vile word but by the by.

"hardend" peeps are those that don,t just go to parties and clubs regularly....but do all this and expect and do have sex. So if you advertise that your "hardend swinger"...you prob should go along knowing that you will probably be expected to deliver the goods etc.To these so called peeps.Thats what we have found in the last 10 yrs plus in the scene.....Nothing against these hardend swingers at least they say what they are.And to advertise that you are not hardend may put other peeps at ease.

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By *ohjane OP Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

Thank you all for your efforts. It seems to me that the general consensus is that hardened means people who swing = meet often, and / or go to clubs AND have sex often.

Does the term have anything to do with how many years a person has been on the scene too ??

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you all for your efforts. It seems to me that the general consensus is that hardened means people who swing = meet often, and / or go to clubs AND have sex often.

Does the term have anything to do with how many years a person has been on the scene too ??

Jane x"

To be honest it would seem we define 'hardened' differently, and so what you have here in replies is pretty much guess work, would be good if some 'hardened' swingers could give us their definition.

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By *ohjane OP Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

Excellent idea WayneC, Thank you for that x

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would be surprised if you get a response from anyone admitting to be hardened swingers....Ive only ever seen people say that they are'nt lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be a bit disappointed if we met someone who wasn't a 'hardened' swinger pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"I'd be a bit disappointed if we met someone who wasn't a 'hardened' swinger pmsl

Hahahaha thats a good point!!! boom boom

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By *ohjane OP Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

So take, for example, myself, who started swinging at the age of 25'ish - before it had a name I reckon.

I meet a regular friend once a week or every two weeks. I meet a new guy on average once a month ( the ones who don't bottle out and stand me up ) and some of the new guys I meet again.

Hubby and I go to a club party (for sexual adventurers )once a month, nearly every month, where we meet people we know, and sometimes new people too.

Would I be described as hardened, or just enthusiastic ? lol

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So take, for example, myself, who started swinging at the age of 25'ish - before it had a name I reckon.

I meet a regular friend once a week or every two weeks. I meet a new guy on average once a month ( the ones who don't bottle out and stand me up ) and some of the new guys I meet again.

Hubby and I go to a club party (for sexual adventurers )once a month, nearly every month, where we meet people we know, and sometimes new people too.

Would I be described as hardened, or just enthusiastic ? lol

Jane x"

Lightweight..............

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

"So take, for example, myself, who started swinging at the age of 25'ish - before it had a name I reckon.

I meet a regular friend once a week or every two weeks. I meet a new guy on average once a month ( the ones who don't bottle out and stand me up ) and some of the new guys I meet again.

Hubby and I go to a club party (for sexual adventurers )once a month, nearly every month, where we meet people we know, and sometimes new people too.

Would I be described as hardened, or just enthusiastic ? lol

Jane x"

How I wish we could turn back the clock and start at that age I cant help thinking about the yrs of fun we missed(nobody told us about all this we were too busy going to church etc) oh well just have to hope we get a few more yrs out of it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And of course you both feel that way.................

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are just fine girl.. enthusiastic is more appropriate.. And I wish more people will be just like that.. I think it is an unnecessary label.. We are all here to have fun.. why the categories?

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"Dont think the boys gang would know what anything hard means"

huh your not hanging out with the right guys babe ....see me after ....pmsl

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"Thank you all for your efforts. It seems to me that the general consensus is that hardened means people who swing = meet often, and / or go to clubs AND have sex often.

Does the term have anything to do with how many years a person has been on the scene too ??

Jane x"

well the term hardened swingers ..puts a mental picture of a couple who have met that much, seen it all, done it all, experienced all of their fantasies and are perhaps a bit jaded...but i accept that image is mine and may differ elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I read "hardened swingers" I presume it means a couple who swing, swing and swing with everying and everyone. Experienced means people who have been swing for years but are rather more fussy and dont swing for the sake of it just if the attraction is really there. But I may be wrong!!

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By *oddessWoman
over a year ago

swansea

I pretty new to this so i think i must be a swinger in training lol...is there a checklist of things i need to do before i become fully qualified?

If there isnt ill make my own list up...any suggestions what should be on it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we say in our profile, "We don't consider ourselves to be hardened"

The term "hardened" is very open to interpretation similar to "Good Looking" "Intelligent" and all of the other decriptors that we use in everyday life.

We are occasional swingers and can go for months or even years without bothering to meet, so in our eyes we don't consider oursleves "hardened"

We would class "hardened" as a person or a couple who meet people quite often, but that is only OUR interpretation of the term and it is by no means definitive.

Ask 100 people and I suspect that you will get 100 different responses, none of them right and none of them wrong .........

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By *asperthedogCouple
over a year ago

midlands

we would consider ourselves as hardened swingers, but that dont mean we aint fussy. this idea that hardened swingers will do anything is nonsense. and to flip the coin so to speak, why is soft swinging seen as acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we would consider ourselves as hardened swingers, but that dont mean we aint fussy. this idea that hardened swingers will do anything is nonsense. and to flip the coin so to speak, why is soft swinging seen as acceptable?"

So, as 'hardened' swingers, what would be your definition?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I pretty new to this so i think i must be a swinger in training lol...is there a checklist of things i need to do before i become fully qualified?

If there isnt ill make my own list up...any suggestions what should be on it?

Well, to become fully qualified, your first call should be a visit to see that WayneC couple, very hot, and the only way you can become known as a swinger. ;-0

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"I pretty new to this so i think i must be a swinger in training lol...is there a checklist of things i need to do before i become fully qualified?

If there isnt ill make my own list up...any suggestions what should be on it?

Well, to become fully qualified, your first call should be a visit to see that WayneC couple, very hot, and the only way you can become known as a swinger. ;-0

followed swiftly by a visit to the _leasuredome to join mr x ..essential ...must have on your list of conquests

pmsl...

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By *couple412Man
over a year ago

faversham

"Hello All

Can anyone put me out of my misery?

I keep reading in ads that someone "has experience but is not a hardened swinger.."

What is the definition of a hardened swinger, or is there more than one ?

I would appreciate the opinions of the gentlefolk on here.

Thank you.

Hugs to all

Jane x "

Dipped in concrete and suspended with chains between an A frame - ideally with some kind of seat.

Hardened swinger.

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By *ohjane OP Couple
over a year ago

south staffs

Thank you all x

I am no longer in misery but feeling quite enlightened.

I must agree with Blackgold who queries the need for "categories", we should all be Sexual Adventurers who do what we do for the pleasure of it.

Hugs to all

Jane x

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By *oddessWoman
over a year ago

swansea

"I pretty new to this so i think i must be a swinger in training lol...is there a checklist of things i need to do before i become fully qualified?

If there isnt ill make my own list up...any suggestions what should be on it?

Well, to become fully qualified, your first call should be a visit to see that WayneC couple, very hot, and the only way you can become known as a swinger. ;-0

followed swiftly by a visit to the _leasuredome to join mr x ..essential ...must have on your list of conquests

pmsl..."

Mmmm.... gettin qualified sounds a lot of fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The term hardend originated in the 60s and was used to discribe swingers that were at every house party and according to them had seen and done pretty much everything actually seems a bit harsh to me

About time we came up with a few modern words for swinging

because words like

Hardend

Bi sexual

Bi curious

soft swing

etc are a bit vauge at times

Any suggestions lol

PS by vauge i mean they are the only words to descibe certain people and actions that dont always give true pictures of that person

IE les is described on her title that she is bi sexual cause that is the only box we could tick

What it means in her case is she is comfortable with woman to woman contact when she is in a certain mood etc

She will play with a woman everytime but may not go the whole way everytime

So we decribe her in our written profile as bi playful

Any suggestions for other words anyone?

Craig xx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

I always think that a hardened swinger is someone/couple for who it isn't a hobby or fun....... it's their life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think that a hardened swinger is someone/couple for who it isn't a hobby or fun....... it's their life."

Thats a good description - why didn't i think of that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think that a hardened swinger is someone/couple for who it isn't a hobby or fun....... it's their life."

Yep thats a good one _adchick xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think that a hardened swinger is someone/couple for who it isn't a hobby or fun....... it's their life."

I think you may have hit the proverbial nail on the head with that.

I wonder though, would many 'hardened' swingers agree with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think that a hardened swinger is someone/couple for who it isn't a hobby or fun....... it's their life.

I think you may have hit the proverbial nail on the head with that.

I wonder though, would many 'hardened' swingers agree with that.

Probably not lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have always seen the word "Hardened Swinger" used in describing swingers who basically play with anyone anytime regardless of compatability.

If we go to a club we seek people whose personalily we like and whom we find sexually compatible, we both have to like them as people and they have to be sexually attractive to those that will play with them ie the female for Jed and the male and female must be sexually attractive for Sasha.

If we go to a club and there are no couples or singles that fall into that category for us we simply go home having enjoyed a good social time, we are not hardened swingers and therefore don't just "play with them over there cos we don't like the look of them but they are the only ones available"

We don't use group rooms at clubs where everyone just plays with whoever is on the bed since that sexual attractivness is essential for us to enjoy ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with being a "Hardened Swinger" it's just another preference, many see swinging as just sex so who you are with is not important as to them it is the sex that counts.

By saying your hardened swingers you are really just saying, we are up for playing with anyone so dont worry about meeting up and being dissapointed because it is going to happen regardless. Not a bad thing to many people who dont want to risk arranging meets that dont end up with any fun happening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think that a hardened swinger is someone/couple for who it isn't a hobby or fun....... it's their life."

As said earlier we are not Hardened swingers, indeed we have visited Chameleons together no less than 47 times recently, on not one of those occasions have we played with anyone as we did not find anyone that took our fancy.

I guess a lot are now saying we are timewasters, not true either, we play when the mood, the people and the time is right, during that time we just havent found the right people but have made some great new friends.

But swinging is our life, Jed works at Chameleons and we both run a small guest house catering exclusively to swingers visiting local clubs.

We go to Chameleons around 4-5 nights a week, it is 30 seconds from us and it is our "local pub"

Enjoying the lifestyle does NOT make you a hardened swinger

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Every time i swing,go to a club, do a one to one or small group its always as exciting as the first time. Too me a hardened swinger whose life is dominated by swinging and they have to "swing" not really caring who it is with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my thoughts to, diamond

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By *irtyduoCouple
over a year ago

nr stirling

i would consider a "hardened swinger" to be someone who does it alot and maybe go alot further than alot of people would do,that said doesnt mean to say they are not fussy who they meet, on our profile it says soft swingers and i gues it puts alot of people off, but w are by no means soft altho we only do the ultimate with own partners. one persons interpretation will be different to the next persons and there are both ends of the scale from soft to hard with everything inbetween!!! lol!! iv said b4 as long as every1 is having fun, not hurting any1 and comfortable with what they are doing then its all good!!! x

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We think 'hardened' is your attitude rather than your experience, hardened people for us are those who have done it all, are jaded and just fuck obsessively.

Although we've both had very many sexual partners and have been swinging together for a while we still like to treat it as a pleasant game, with lots of foreplay, undressing eachother, kissing, talking, laughing etc.

Hardened swingers are some of those people you meet in clubs who just want to screw and go: they'd probably get as much fun from a blow-up doll!

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