FabSwingers.com forum: question for those in a power exchange relationship

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm a bit lost on something right now. How do you deal with suddenly not being in that relationship. What advice would you give.?

I'm sure everyone has split up from someone but on this I feel it's different as its a little like finding yourself abandoned.

Good friends have suggested I have someone that protects me for a while but as I have no intentions on finding a new dominant I see little point.

What I am struggling with is the huge change in my life.

Thanks in advance.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to all the replies in private. It's been lovely.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a little confused

Have you split form your hubby or are you saying your still together but your not doing the master/slave role anymore within it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm no longer in any sort of relationship.

Cali

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 13/10/12 17:45:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that, you always sounded so happy and secure in your relationship. Hope things work out for you one way or another.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

It's tough at first, no one else can really help apart from giving you support, enjoy your freedom and good luck with your future. Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Live each day as if it's your last you never know what is around the corner.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have some me time Cali it will help you decide what you want to do next but sorry to hear your on your own now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you're no longer together, but I wouldn't advise using a 'filler' to look over you. You always seemed to have huge levels of trust with your partner and without that would you be happy having someone playing the part? Also, it wouldn't really be fair to them to be a stop gap or crutch for you to lean on.

Taking some time for yourself would be a good thing. You've always come across as a strong woman and I am sure you'll find your way, but it needs to be your way...not just a temporary fix to distract you from the current situation.

Have fun at the club for your birthday and then maybe take a little time out to reflect and decide what you want for yourself going forward. It may seem tough now, but you will be fine x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"have some me time Cali it will help you decide what you want to do next but sorry to hear your on your own now"

Sounds like good advise! Hope you manage to sort yourself out.

Best wishes

S&B

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To those asking. I will not submit to another so a protector would be more to keep the wolves at bay while I adjust.

I'm doing lots of me things. With 5 kids at home I don't have time to sit and cry. I'm just not sure when you have had this level of control in your life how you adjust. I'm finding myself panicked at times. Unsure. It's not like me at all.

I'm not playing on here either. Just social meets with friends.

I've had some great messages from people on here that have become freed or lost dominants.

Thanks

Cali

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

good luck Cali, life may take a different route for you but happiness will follow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck sweetie, I hope you find your way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck Cali

Hopefully you have a good friend who can step in and watch over you for a while.

Just someone who will look out for you.

Hope that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im so sorry to read that you have split up

Take time to heal

and good luck

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Only just spotted this.

So very sorry to hear your news

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to read this news Cali. Take time out to look after yourself, allow yourself every emotion ..they may change frequently. You will get there and feel strong and safe as an individual again.

Take care xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some things in life you consider to be a fixture. Certainly did in your case...

Good luck with everything

Wolf

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Sorry to hear your news. Allow yourself the space to mourn and go through all the steps.

Best wishes for your future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear your news. Allow yourself the space to mourn and go through all the steps.

Best wishes for your future."

Cali your a strong women.

This is now YOUR time .

As said before take time out to heal.

You have your girls enjoy spending all your time with them xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very sorry to hear about this. Try to be strong, I'm sure everything will work out for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you ever so much.. you know its at times like this you realise what a community places like this have.

Thank you.

Cali

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Thank you ever so much.. you know its at times like this you realise what a community places like this have.

Thank you.

Cali"

All the best Cali. xxxxxx

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I'm a bit lost on something right now. How do you deal with suddenly not being in that relationship. What advice would you give.?

I'm sure everyone has split up from someone but on this I feel it's different as its a little like finding yourself abandoned.

Good friends have suggested I have someone that protects me for a while but as I have no intentions on finding a new dominant I see little point.

What I am struggling with is the huge change in my life.

Thanks in advance.

Cali"

Any relationship when its finished with will take time to get over, especially if there are unfinished questions ... There always are.

Its just over of those things that as frustrating as it is you've just got to move on, trying to get back, put yourself on hold our try to rekindle will just waste time and a lot of energy.

Get a good toy or 3 and find out what you need about yourself before trying to entertain someone else I'd say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really sorry to hear this Cali.

Yes I can imagine it is a huge readjustment for you. Take time with it all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

to be honest I'm just keeping myself busy and I've learnt so much about myself over these last few years.

I'm stronger now than I ever was and I will not let myself fall to far. I will take the experiences I had a enjoy the memories.

I'm me and one thing I learned being a slave to a master was that it was okay to be me. don't think I'll ever submit again but forevers a long time.

I'm going to carry on with my weight loss and carry on being the best I can be.

I truly still an shocked at how many well wishes I have had. some funny and witty comments and a few that have been so bad I had to laugh.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No doubt you have countless down moments but if you can smile and laugh throughout the day then thats a great thing.

And your not giving up the cum are you - who else can we rely on to shock us with tales of drinking cum and cum sandwiches etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No doubt you have countless down moments but if you can smile and laugh throughout the day then thats a great thing.

And your not giving up the cum are you - who else can we rely on to shock us with tales of drinking cum and cum sandwiches etc

Lol not forever but just at present i'm just not feeling the urge. And I'm sure that I will be shocking people again.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No doubt you have countless down moments but if you can smile and laugh throughout the day then thats a great thing.

And your not giving up the cum are you - who else can we rely on to shock us with tales of drinking cum and cum sandwiches etc

Lol not forever but just at present i'm just not feeling the urge. And I'm sure that I will be shocking people again.

Cali"

Thought that flag in your profile pic looked familar.

So had a look at your profile to double check.

Love the last line

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

There's not much to say that hasn't already been said by the fantastic forumites!! My only piece of advise would be don't bottle up the pain, let it out. Have a cry and a scream, before you know it it will turn into a smile and a laugh

Focus on you!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you. I've cried more than I knew you could. I've screamed and I've totally trashed my room in a throwing frenzy.

The advice I've had from both other submissives and everyone else has been great.

To be honest I'd not ever thought about what would happen if such a dependant relationship would end because I never believed it would. But it has and now I have to be the strong person that I was shown I was. He believed in my strength and I found it.

Only way to describe the loss I feel like now is when I was 7 I woke to find a note from my mother telling me she loved me but was no good for me and that she was going away. This is a similar feeling because it's not lack of love. Distance played its part. And for a million reasons I find myself without the person that made me complete.

But I'm to stubborn to give in.

Cali

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

I am very sorry to hear that your relationship appears to have ended, however from all of your posts, even though I have never met you or know you personally, indicate that without doubt you are strong enough to move on with your life without fear.

hugz n stuff, Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stubborness will see u through at the moment when u need it - and talking is good too Cali

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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

It's a twofold loss + my heart goes out to you.It will be difficult @ times to adjust after your intense slavemindset.

It may help to talk to slaves who experienced the same loss.

take care about yourself! susie xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a twofold loss + my heart goes out to you.It will be difficult @ times to adjust after your intense slavemindset.

It may help to talk to slaves who experienced the same loss.

take care about yourself! susie xx"

Thank you.. it was the talking to other slaves and subs that may have had something similar happen..

For all my experiences in life.. this is something I have no answers for.. the loss seems so great. Yet I have had great loses in my life before.

I have had such support on here.. and a bdsm site.. but have to say mostly on the bdsm sites I am getting told to meet a new Master... that isnt what I need or want.. and I am not the type of sub that NEEDS or requires just any man to make me whole.

I need to just see this as the next chapter of my life.. and the lessons I learned and the journey I took.. has put me in good stead for the future.

Cali

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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

i know my kinkster friends,same as i would advise AGAINST finding a new Master.Not untill you ready again @ some point in your life which may or may not come in the future.It seems to end up in tears more often than not:sub/slaves who rushed into a new power exchange relation ship.

You had a journey which took you very deep into yourself.You experienced what you really liked+enjoyed,to be now without it will make you feel lost,sad,subdrop.....+ with time as a strong woman you readjust.

take a day @ a time + when you can let your feelings out....may be you can write a "journal" piece for the BDSM site,it seems to help some. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am actually writing a piece on how I feel now.. and will be writing it over the coming days... it helps me.. and it maybe sometime it will help someone else.

I know for a fact I have advised subs from jumping into something else that the level of trust needed would not be there.. and it would be almost like a form of self harm..

I just need to take each day as it comes.

Cali

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

Aw Calli so sad for you right now,i do hope things come right for you,take time out and be good to yourselfxxxx

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By *obandruthCouple
over a year ago

wolverhampton

find a new partner before you dump the old one

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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

"I am actually writing a piece on how I feel now.. and will be writing it over the coming days... it helps me.. and it maybe sometime it will help someone else.

I know for a fact I have advised subs from jumping into something else that the level of trust needed would not be there.. and it would be almost like a form of self harm..

I just need to take each day as it comes.

Cali"

i'm sure it will help others + gona look out for it

BIG HUG for you X

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