FabSwingers.com forum: Deleting messages = Rude

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I’m sure all couples/women on here go on deleting sprees to clear out their inbox so that the people they actually want to talk to don’t get lost.

A small minority of single guys on the other hand seem incapable of comprehending why their one line message with no pictures attached gets insta-deleted. I don’t think they realise sometimes how many boring one line dick pic messages we get!

I guess my question is, why do some of you get so offended by this? I’ve had numerous men reply after deleting their low effort message saying things like “dodged a bullet here ignorant assholes”(not even what ignorant means dumbass) and some guys have ranted that we’re ugly and they’re not interested anyway.

Do you actually think acting like an immature whiney man-baby is going to get you laid?.. well good luck!

Not a rant, just want these people to know why their messages are being deleted and how not to respond to it as you never know, you might be in with a shot next time we’re looking for a guy, you definitely won’t be if you’ve trash talked us and been blocked though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t delete but I do ignore such messages and do sometimes get them coming back attacking. If they read profiles they would know why many might ignore them. It is frustrating I hear you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I’m sure all couples/women on here go on deleting sprees to clear out their inbox so that the people they actually want to talk to don’t get lost.

Do you actually think acting like an immature whiney man-baby is going to get you laid?.. well good luck!

I agree!

However the types who need to read this won't/ can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so true! We get it all the time. Messages that literally just say. “Hi how are you?”. It’s dull, if you want a response then say something response worthy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I’m sure all couples/women on here go on deleting sprees to clear out their inbox so that the people they actually want to talk to don’t get lost.

Do you actually think acting like an immature whiney man-baby is going to get you laid?.. well good luck!

Yes I have read this many many times, single men a small number of single men ruin it for the rest.

I no longer look for meets due to these incidents, just doing my time on the forums until my membership expires.

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By *otWifingCoupleCouple
over a year ago

London

Well said!

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

When I was a single lady on here, I used to laugh at some of the reply’s I got when I said ’thanks for the message but you’re not for me’ i had similar replies such as ‘bet you’re fucking ugly you slag’ etc.

so replying sometimes doesn’t stop the rude reply either.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

We used to reply but as an above poster wrote you would invariably get the abusive message anyway so now we have a sharp approach. Receive message, look at the profile if we know it's from someone we'd never meet instant delete, fancy a fuck now type messages instant delete, any negative follow up message, block. We reply only to those who interest us or those who compliment our pics then we reply with a thanks, no follow up.

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By *jt11Man
over a year ago

Bewdley

Sadly small brains don’t take rejection very well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was a single lady on here, I used to laugh at some of the reply’s I got when I said ’thanks for the message but you’re not for me’ i had similar replies such as ‘bet you’re fucking ugly you slag’ etc.

so replying sometimes doesn’t stop the rude reply either. "

I learnt many, many years ago that polite rejections like that do not usually work. It is why I just ignore, no answer is an answer still

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/02/22 09:44:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is so true! We get it all the time. Messages that literally just say. “Hi how are you?”. It’s dull, if you want a response then say something response worthy! "

I don't blame men for sending short crap messages. If the majority of my messages were deleted without reply I'd be fed up and would just send a short message. No point wasting my time reading profiles and writing a decent message if it's deleted every time.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

People tend to take rejection quite badly but how they react by being abusive just goes to show that deleting said message was the right call to begin with. Not everyone will be everyone's cup of tea.. sadly these people just never got the memo unfortunately

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"This is so true! We get it all the time. Messages that literally just say. “Hi how are you?”. It’s dull, if you want a response then say something response worthy!

Exactly this ^

You can also block single men from messaging first, then you can write the interesting messages to those that appeal.

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By *eterandJaneadventuresCouple
over a year ago

Sutton

It amazes both of us , that, though we understand, several send a simple Hi, as they may not know how to start a conversation. However those that send a message, ‘would you like my bone in your mrs’, get an instant block. Unfortunate how it’s is, we cannot reply to all, if there is a picture profile and an appealing profile, responses from us follow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because they don’t read the sites FAQs it says “If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to say I'm not interested if I can be bothered.

If the same cut n paste job gets resent a week later, delete and block.

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By *J and CBCouple
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

We get fed up of the lazy idiots who can't be bothered to read our profile before sending photos of their dicks. They go straight to our blocked list.

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By *uckfunCouple
over a year ago

North Coast

"This is so true! We get it all the time. Messages that literally just say. “Hi how are you?”. It’s dull, if you want a response then say something response worthy! "

Or ‘I’m close by, wanna meet?’

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I try to be polite with a No thanks, message but then either get "why", or the "bet you're fat and ugly" or my fave the "No thanks to what, all I said was hi".

This is not just single men but couples too. I refer them back to my profile, keep responding no thanks or just block tending on what mood I'm in, or how many messages I've received.

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By *m NormalMan
over a year ago

Telford

I do read profiles. I pay attention to the details. For instance, if both of a couple are bi I don't write to them, I'm straight.

For a single man you all know it is very difficult to get a date. Made more difficult when a woman's profile has no picture and almost no text, how are we supposed to word an appropriate message? I always write a long not too long message. Always polite. My messages are lost in the quagmire of others. If I get seen at all is a wonder. To get a reply is less than 1/100. To get a date, well that's another story.

As for being deleted, I sometimes block them so i don't get them coming up in searches.

If I have been read and not replied to, its very rare I contact again.

Well ladies, what is this fit man in great condition to do to get attention?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do read profiles. I pay attention to the details. For instance, if both of a couple are bi I don't write to them, I'm straight.

As for being deleted, I sometimes block them so i don't get them coming up in searches.

If I have been read and not replied to, its very rare I contact again.

Well ladies, what is this fit man in great condition to do to get attention?"
I agree with this. It's a numbers game on here and SOME folk want war and peace in a message only to be deleted anyway.. must be soul destroying on here at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first came on this site, I had experience of meeting couples who had contacted me through dating sites.

So when I joined this site I wrote to couples and single women, no replies to messages I had put thought in to, so then I started to write short messages, now I do not bother, im not even looking to meet or invite couples, I am not bitter or expect sex, I realise this is a full pond and I have better chances of meeting or hooking up with likeminded people by going to socials, or just a simple night out with friends.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I message in and out of the forums.

I then just forget about them. If I get a reply then I am happy to chat. Its rarely a "No" because that's not what I message...I ask questions about things that interest me.

If I don't get a reply...I sometimes go back to sent messages and delete those unread.

Rarely do I wonder why. The myriads of potential reasons...past the fact that they don't fancy me...are too numerous and inconsequential for me to fatho..

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By *andSCouple
over a year ago

Soon to be PDI

We’ve got one thing out of the way by not allowing single men to message us - it’s in the settings under “message filters” if you want to do the same.

We have also warned people that messages may be deleted on our profile. Don’t think we can be fairer than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also when I first came here, I saw profiles from couples and single women stating drop me a message, only to find all men are blocked.

makes me feel like someone is taking the mick ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We find people not replying to messages for days more rude than deleting it with no reply despite being online for 24 hours.

Deleting means ,they aren't interested but ignoring messages is worst sometimes

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Have politely replied not thanks good luck with your search to that many my phone suggests it now so if they have put a little effort in we normally send a reply but one liners like what you up to and hey! We eventually delete as said by the op we like to keep in touch with friends and potential meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do read profiles. I pay attention to the details. For instance, if both of a couple are bi I don't write to them, I'm straight.

As for being deleted, I sometimes block them so i don't get them coming up in searches.

If I have been read and not replied to, its very rare I contact again.

Well ladies, what is this fit man in great condition to do to get attention?"

Although we understand it’s hard and sometimes almost impossible for single men on here but why would you want to message a woman with no pics and almost no text in their bio?

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

“winey man baby” . Well that’s a new one

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By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

"Because they don’t read the sites FAQs it says “If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested.”"

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

We always just delete without reading. Really stings lol

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

i delete messages on my phone without replying, its no big deal.

i even block some whatsap friends temporarily as they send stupid messages in the early hours.

deleting is fine i say.

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By *haggydogMan
over a year ago

Brooklands/London

It is weird that some guys have these hissy fits. Some of it would probably count as online abuse. And I think people sending such nastiness should be booted off the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete if it doesn’t appeal to me but can guarantee they keep messaging and you can clearly see that they have messaged before as there’s a message thread…… soooooooo annoying

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By *m NormalMan
over a year ago

Telford

"I do read profiles. I pay attention to the details. For instance, if both of a couple are bi I don't write to them, I'm straight.

As for being deleted, I sometimes block them so i don't get them coming up in searches.

If I have been read and not replied to, its very rare I contact again.

Well ladies, what is this fit man in great condition to do to get attention?

Although we understand it’s hard and sometimes almost impossible for single men on here but why would you want to message a woman with no pics and almost no text in their bio? "

They are invariably very new, something just a few hours or less. I find I get a higher rate of replies from them compared to very old blank profile.

When the odds are against you, you are, unfortunately, driven to exstreems

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By *oupleexeter30Couple
over a year ago

Exeter

We reply to a few saying we're not interested. The amount of messages we get a day I'm not going to sit here and reply to all. Had the abusive messages many times for not replying. Just makes us glad we never bothered as they are clearly idiots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“winey man baby” . Well that’s a new one

You seem attracted to these threads. Don't feel bad. They're probably not about you personally.

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By *athyperkinsCouple
over a year ago

lifton

We delete a lot. You don't even have to read our profile in depth - our header says what we are looking for and yet we still get loads of messages from straight guys aimed at just me. What puzzles me more is when people then message again and again, even if we've replied "thanks but not what we're looking for" - what part of that did you not understand? T x

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

We delete lots, one liners show no imagination or personality, so why waste our time

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Men, women and couples are all guilty of not reading profiles,ir sending crap messages.

I'm straight, but have had couples and women message me, when they're after a bi fem to join them and they specify this.

I delete a message when it's obvious they haven't read my profile, no matter who it's from. Now I block afterwards to save any more messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do read profiles. I pay attention to the details. For instance, if both of a couple are bi I don't write to them, I'm straight.

As for being deleted, I sometimes block them so i don't get them coming up in searches.

If I have been read and not replied to, its very rare I contact again.

Well ladies, what is this fit man in great condition to do to get attention?

Although we understand it’s hard and sometimes almost impossible for single men on here but why would you want to message a woman with no pics and almost no text in their bio?

They are invariably very new, something just a few hours or less. I find I get a higher rate of replies from them compared to very old blank profile.

When the odds are against you, you are, unfortunately, driven to exstreems"

I get that but what would attract you to their profile to want to converse with them in the first place? Is it an any hole’s a goal approach?

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

No reply is a reply, or perhaps not.

Let’s face it single woman and couples tend to get swamped, so messages may just get lost. I can accept that.

Someone reads but doesn’t reply, either it wasn’t for them, or perhaps too busy to reply, or didn’t want to engage in new convo. That’s fine too.

Or someone deletes. Ok might seem like a slap in the face for some, but it’s the clearest indication it wasn’t a match, no biggie. Or perhaps again too many messages and someone is just clearing out…. Ahh to be overwhelmed with messages is not the reality for most single guys haha. So we cannot truly appreciate how this feels.

Or simply you don’t get any messages…. Which is difficult for a lot of people too. And can dishearten.

Just be yourself and approach people correctly, you may make a connection soon. It may take a lot more effort and time. Try real life also, clubs ect… but just go with an open mind, be social, stay social stay human and perhaps avoid joining the army of undead zombie-wankers and you will engage with the living at some point.

And above everything try not to take it personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn’t limited to single men, I’ve had similar from couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stop being sensitive.

Nobody owes it to you.

If they don't wish to message back take the hint.

I personally read their profiles and don't send a one liner message and still get ignored or deleted so it's just part of being on the site.

Can't imagine how bombarded females inboxes get...That's how I feel on a Monday Morning with 100+ unread work emails lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Top of the shop being:

Hey you ok?

Hey sexy, fancy fun now?

Hey, free now wanna come to mine?

Hey, you had fun lately?

Fancy a fuck?

I'm free to come eat your pussy.

I mean it just makes you want to find out more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/02/22 12:49:03]

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By *ndyn50000Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I don't have a problem with being deleted and can't see why there's any need to send a rude follow up if your message is deleted.

That said most of my opening messages sound like the random gibberings of a senile orangutang so I'm always pleasantly surprised if anyone replies or bothers to read them......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry

Spelling mistake which annoyed me.

I've started replying to messages saying why it's a no and then blocking the sender from my profile.

The amount of messages I get from men who haven't bothered to read my profile is unreal.

I've had a few who named and shamed me on their status for blocking them too.

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By *inxnmasterCouple
over a year ago

naughty valley

"Top of the shop being:

Hey you ok?

Hey sexy, fancy fun now?

Hey, free now wanna come to mine?

Hey, you had fun lately?

Fancy a fuck?

I'm free to come eat your pussy.

I mean it just makes you want to find out more.

Yeah, our list of immediate deletion looks very similar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We send polite no thank you then block them, as got fed up with the abuse back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

used to get this all the time now its if we are not intrested its a str8 block so there is no come back ...

also guy moaning that these guys ruin it for them need to stop hiding behind the so called bad guys ..ie the bad guys ruin it for thenselves nobody else stop using other guys as your so called not getting anywhere your not gettiong anywhere because well your not getting anywhere usally means nobody is interestyed or the real fact is there are far to many men to pick from so that means so many of you wont get anywhere no matter what ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick polite no thanks if they message again wanting to know why or abusive , just block them.

To be fair id say 95% of them are respectful and just say OK no problem.

Some just pay a compliment and have read our profile and dont message again.

Most are genuine nice guys.

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By *prilsnowCouple
over a year ago

Bath

God I get this abuse also! It’s VERY clear in my profile what I DO NOT want yet when I delete I then get shitty messages saying I’m rude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they delete the message I know their not interested to me it's very than the message just being read and nothing from then

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By *ddy GirthyMan
over a year ago

Girthy Town

"Top of the shop being:

Hey you ok?

Hey sexy, fancy fun now?

Hey, free now wanna come to mine?

Hey, you had fun lately?

Fancy a fuck?

I'm free to come eat your pussy.

I mean it just makes you want to find out more.

Looooool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys just can't handle rejection. Its as simple as that!

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By *ecretpassion100Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

so replying sometimes doesn’t stop the rude reply either. "
if we had a pound for everyone we would be on a cruise around the Mediterranean by now xx

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By *he SmithsCouple
over a year ago

East Devon & London

If it’s obvious a guy has read our profile and what we’re looking from for a guy we’ll reply - because they won’t have sent a one liner or suggested meeting elsewhere to a club (because they don’t want to pay for entry - no pun intended).

Our delete key is pretty active every day, especially with the guys that send the same one liner every few weeks and don’t realise their message history is visible!

It may sound harsh but if they can’t be bothered to read the profile we can’t be bothered to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Top of the shop being:

Hey you ok?

Hey sexy, fancy fun now?

Hey, free now wanna come to mine?

Hey, you had fun lately?

Fancy a fuck?

I'm free to come eat your pussy.

I mean it just makes you want to find out more.

Yeah, our list of immediate deletion looks very similar

Made me chuckle. I don't read em.

I love a good old deleted without being read when they're disgusting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Top of the shop being:

Hey you ok?

Hey sexy, fancy fun now?

Hey, free now wanna come to mine?

Hey, you had fun lately?

Fancy a fuck?

I'm free to come eat your pussy.

I mean it just makes you want to find out more.

Yeah, our list of immediate deletion looks very similar

Made me chuckle. I don't read em.

I love a good old deleted without being read when they're disgusting. "

If they're disgusting or it's some long bollocks 'erotic' story about what they'd to me I make the point of replying to tell them that I didn't bother reading any of their message.

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Always appreciate a response even if it's a no. For anyone getting an abusive message back just report them and block them, no need in this community for that childish behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The erotic story. Ha ha. Mills n boon propaganda

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"“winey man baby” . Well that’s a new one

You seem attracted to these threads. Don't feel bad. They're probably not about you personally. "

You love them though don’t you?

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Why do people get sooo arsey when you reply with a no thanks? Just had a couple respond with a "lol don't even remember messaging you lol" I mean is it that they have to have the last word, or just not used to rejection on here. Makes me want to just delete instead of replying! Rant over

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I HATE the "Hi how are you" messages.

So annoying.

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

Knowing that women and couples get inundated here, if my message gets deleted, I simply take it to mean that they're not interested, and that's it - i certainly don't consider it to be rude...

....if I get a 'thanks, but no thanks' type of reply, I will send back either 'thanks for letting me know' or 'thanks for taking the time to reply'...

....it's called not burning bridges - because people sometimes change their minds...

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