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Psychology / jealousy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Any amateur (or maybe real) psychologists care to comment on this?

If we’re out on a vanilla evening and some guy comes on to Dora and she flirts with him I feel a twist of jealousy. Not a big drama, it’s just there.

If however we’re in a hotel bed with a guy having a threesome I’m perfectly fine with it. Absolutely no jealousy at all.

How does that square?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Because one is controlled and the other is not? When I say controlled I mean, it's in this environment, you've discussed it, outcomes, expectations.

Someone in a vanilla setting is an unplanned wildcard which is pushing the line of your parameters of comfortable. You don't know them. It's not been discussed. It's unpredictable and possibly someone flirting in a not strictly I want to have hot sex with you (as a couple).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Because one is controlled and the other is not? When I say controlled I mean, it's in this environment, you've discussed it, outcomes, expectations.

Someone in a vanilla setting is an unplanned wildcard which is pushing the line of your parameters of comfortable. You don't know them. It's not been discussed. It's unpredictable and possibly someone flirting in a not strictly I want to have hot sex with you (as a couple). "

Seems reasonable. An element of control.

One I give my consent to and the other I haven’t.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I would think a lot has to do with if the guy is engaging with you too. If he isn't, then imo he is overstepping some boundaries.

If your wife is responding to him, and not appreciating the fact that he is, to varying degrees, excluding you, then I would think that, that would illicit some negative emotions, it certainly would with me.

That's my amateur opinion

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I should update that Dora now has the right hump and very rightly points out that she doesn’t flirt with guys on vanilla nights out!

My bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because one is controlled and the other is not? When I say controlled I mean, it's in this environment, you've discussed it, outcomes, expectations.

Someone in a vanilla setting is an unplanned wildcard which is pushing the line of your parameters of comfortable. You don't know them. It's not been discussed. It's unpredictable and possibly someone flirting in a not strictly I want to have hot sex with you (as a couple).

Seems reasonable. An element of control.

One I give my consent to and the other I haven’t. "

Consent and boundaries.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"Because one is controlled and the other is not? When I say controlled I mean, it's in this environment, you've discussed it, outcomes, expectations.

Someone in a vanilla setting is an unplanned wildcard which is pushing the line of your parameters of comfortable. You don't know them. It's not been discussed. It's unpredictable and possibly someone flirting in a not strictly I want to have hot sex with you (as a couple).

Seems reasonable. An element of control.

One I give my consent to and the other I haven’t.

Consent and boundaries. "

This^^^

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