FabSwingers.com forum: Sex drive

By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

Love her for who she is not the sex, it will come back in time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mojo disappeared months ago

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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

It's hard I know. But everyone goes through peaks and troughs.

It's most important that you love and support her in the way she needs.

I KNOW how hard it is for us men. But try to give her the space she needs and not add to whatever mental load there is there.

All the best.

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

It's killing her too. She's trying to workout why it's gone. Cheers for the advice. I need to be there for her but it's not easy.

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"

Have you thought of couples therapy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's normal for me. Mine comes and goes. I'll have a phase of weeks or months when I'm jumping hubby all the time and meeting loads, then I switch and can spend weeks or months barely having sex at all xx

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"Love her for who she is not the sex, it will come back in time

Good advice here - so nice. Yes, value the time you have together and help her through it/living with it.

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By *aughty50sCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire - but we travel a lot

Is she perhaps menopausal?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Has she seen her GP?

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By *irtyold manMan
over a year ago

barnsley

My ex fb lost her sex drive and we parted now shes on hrt and pop round for sex regular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mojo disappeared months ago

Mines is the same, november and its not even bothering me... yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's normal for me. Mine comes and goes. I'll have a phase of weeks or months when I'm jumping hubby all the time and meeting loads, then I switch and can spend weeks or months barely having sex at all xx"

Same only ive no hubby i just call a fuck buddy lol

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

Yep, she's only 35 so probably not menopause, could be her pill so she's coming off it and we will need to be careful. Covid environment has stressed her out so hopefully coming out of that and reducing her stress will help. I'll doing all I can and not pushing her. I just hope she's ok as it's really depressing her.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Could it be menopausal / perimenopasual

Women definitely don't have it easy

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"Yep, she's only 35 so probably not menopause, could be her pill so she's coming off it and we will need to be careful. Covid environment has stressed her out so hopefully coming out of that and reducing her stress will help. I'll doing all I can and not pushing her. I just hope she's ok as it's really depressing her."

Some women go through menopause inntgeir 30s of it could be perimenopause & GPs are useless at spotting both

But as you said the last 2yrs won't have helped and depression & anxiety can play havoc with everything

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By *hris 62Man
over a year ago

HEREFORD

List my mojo sex what's that, come out of a sexless relationship before lockdown and still nothing And as for the young lady it my be the pressure with the lockdown or that age some started eary and the menopause, some there sex drive goes in to ouer drive other its dies

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By *ndysmithMan
over a year ago

north cyprus

could never come back. It may just have been something that was exciting before and now secretly disgusts or embarrasses her. Some light in tunnel though if she is genuine in saying she misses it too.

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

A trip to the Doctors is needed I think, a simple blood test can check the Estrogen levels..if they are high good or low it could be the Menopause, stress and low mood all effects our libido, maybe needs to change the pill she takes, all these things can be discussed with her Doctor. Good luck to her, if you feel it's hard for you then just appreciate how much harder it will be for her.

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

At the beginning of 2020 she changed her pill then Covid hit. Her pill has no estrogen and she started spotting, getting acne and her gorgeous red hair thinned out. We think it's the pill as online forums speak of lots of women losing their sex drive with this pill. Suppose it stops you getting pregnant so it does what it says on the packet!

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By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

As some have said, give it some time it might come back, of course it may not but you cant be sure.

Been with my bf for 20 years & my sex drive was so low for a long time, even worse because his has always been high but in the last 12 months ive been insatiable & i love everything about sex. So it can happen.

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

Thanks all. All I can say it watch out if she gets it back. If she goes back to how she was fabs will be busy. Xxx

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By *atureGent58Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"

Bin her and get a new one

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

i'd say talk to the doc first and foremost

also think about where you could change things up a little to fetch some spark back?

hope things improve for you both soon x

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By *edheadjMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Definitely talk to a doctor as a precaution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she knows you're on here without her that would massively knock her confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bin her and get a new one "

Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!

Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"

Have you tried turning her off and on again?

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

"If she knows you're on here without her that would massively knock her confidence."

She knows I'm on here and has full access. She also helps arranged the odd meet with guys. I just miss playing with her.

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?

Have you tried turning her off and on again? "

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon

My sex drive changes, stress makes it lower, getting outside and lots of exercise makes it skyrocket.. we are all different..

Confidence certainly plays abusive role ans if I'm feeling well generally my sex drive reflects this.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Love her for who she is not the sex, it will come back in time

That’s easy to say. If she recognises a problem maybe see a doctor.

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"

Sounds like you’re trying all the right things.

Definitely try changing or stopping the pill.

As others have said, see a doctor.

Ignore the halfwits who like to make fun of your situation.

Relationships are hard work but worth it for the right one.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Definitely needs a trip to the docs for a health check.

If you can't get them done at the docs, have some private blood tests to check vitamin levels. She might benefit from some supplements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in my 30s when I had to change my pill. It took a couple of years to change and settle my contraception.

My sex drive is higher than ever now.

My point being, you could be right. The fact that you both care about it and are trying to work it through is a brilliant positive for you both.

Good luck OP. I hope you both figure it out, keep supporting and loving each other.

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By *atureGent58Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Bin her and get a new one

Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!

Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!

Ma bad I’ll get my jacket

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I do think the more she worries about it the more it's gonna hide.

I've not had a sex drive since the start of lockdown when my world at the time fell apart.

I've gone through the motions in my head and instead of ride it out (no pun intended) I've been thinking I must be totally fucked up, what's wrong with me? and all that shit.

Yeah, I could very probably do with a trip to the GP.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

How old is she OP? Early menopause maybe?

HRT ?

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

We went through a similar thing many years ago only I didn’t feel it was a big deal (how times have changed!) but hubby struggled for a bit and it did cause the only big arguments we’ve ever had. We now know those arguments weee all down to lack of communication and us each feeling we couldn’t be completely honest and open about how we were feeling or what we wanted. You need to make sure that you are still speaking to maintain the emotional connection even when there isn’t a sexual one.

The single biggest favour I ever did for our sex life (other than deciding to try anal!) was switching to the copper coil. Because it isn’t hormone based, I don’t get mood swings or the depression and anxiety I had with the implant and jab, my sec drive came back with a vengeance and things are now really, really good. It was like a black cloud lifted when I stopped with the hormone based stuff.

If she has a lot going on personally or with work then that can also cause problems. Maybe she’s struggling with her self confidence or feeling sexy? You need to make sure you keep talking and you’re both being totally open with one another.

C (the wife)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have bouts where I’m super horny then I can happily got a month without it..

I think life’s stresses, kids, work etc can play a huge factor for me personally x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have bouts where I’m super horny then I can happily got a month without it..

I think life’s stresses, kids, work etc can play a huge factor for me personally x"

Totally agree

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

"We went through a similar thing many years ago only I didn’t feel it was a big deal (how times have changed!) but hubby struggled for a bit and it did cause the only big arguments we’ve ever had. We now know those arguments weee all down to lack of communication and us each feeling we couldn’t be completely honest and open about how we were feeling or what we wanted. You need to make sure that you are still speaking to maintain the emotional connection even when there isn’t a sexual one.

C (the wife)"

We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks."

I never thought it could be that, im on the mini pill and totally have no sex drive

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

C (the wife)

We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks."

If I were her I’d come off of it and switch to something else. It isn’t worth the emotional and mental negatives to stay on something when it’s stealing aspects of you from yourself.

C x

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks.

I never thought it could be that, im on the mini pill and totally have no sex drive"

Anything hormone based can have an impact on libido which is crappy because most of the point of being on it is so we can have sex and then you end up not wanting it!

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts are with her. I’m in the same boat.

I’m just glad I’m single, it wouldn’t be fair to my partner and I’d feel awful

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

It's driving me crazy, we used to have such a great sex life. She now gets upset when I see my male mates. I know it sounds selfish but I'm not happy being a monk. Not sure what to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's driving me crazy, we used to have such a great sex life. She now gets upset when I see my male mates. I know it sounds selfish but I'm not happy being a monk. Not sure what to do?"

Focus on your relationship for the time being. Understand why she has changed and communicate with each other. We all go through times where we're not feeling it for whatever reason but it's up to you to decide if you can survive one stepping out without the other.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"It's killing her too. She's trying to workout why it's gone. Cheers for the advice. I need to be there for her but it's not easy."

Could be the menopause. Has she spoken to her gp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's driving me crazy, we used to have such a great sex life. She now gets upset when I see my male mates. I know it sounds selfish but I'm not happy being a monk. Not sure what to do?"

I can understand how you feel OP. Hopefully your relationship is much more than about sex. Touch, hugging, sharing emotionally are just as important if not more. A good relationship is about knowing things can change involuntarily but having the depth and strength in the relationship to adapt and see things through.

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By *teph BitchTV/TS
over a year ago

Manchester

Show her love and it could come back in time but if it doesn't it is not the end of the world. I'd rather have someone that loves me for me

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

I know and I love her so much. I know NSA meets don't give the long lasting feeling we all need. Need to grin and bear it. So hope she finds her drive again.

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"At the beginning of 2020 she changed her pill then Covid hit. Her pill has no estrogen and she started spotting, getting acne and her gorgeous red hair thinned out. We think it's the pill as online forums speak of lots of women losing their sex drive with this pill. Suppose it stops you getting pregnant so it does what it says on the packet!"

I can’t tolerate the progesterone-only pill. Last August I got a Mirena coil as a last ditch effort to sort some gynae issues which I’d been offered surgery for. I suspected the hormones wouldn’t suit me and it has been the case - anxiety is worse, low moods, hair thinning, weight gain and loss of sex drive. It’s coming out on Thursday and I can’t wait.

Hopefully your fiancée will feel better if she stops the pill, it sounds likely to me that could be the issue

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

She's been on the pill all her sexual life and is nervous about not being on it and going through all the period problems. Hopefully this year will see her shine again. Trust me we are all missing out. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she's not lost it, just redirected it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mojo disappeared months ago

That reminds me....I need get bananas x

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

"Maybe she's not lost it, just redirected it..."

She's free to do as she wishes. I encourage it but not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is the real possibility of perimenopause which is well documented as affecting women earlier than their forties.

Worth a conversation with her gp, and clearly may lead to her needing your love, understanding, and support. I wish you both well on working through it.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

She could see her Dr. Could be hormonal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said, could be the menopause. It can have a huge impact on libido, and hrt is very effective, plus has other health benefits.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

If people were totally honest we think most people go through phases with their sex drive. Stress, worries, work, health issues young family and other commitments and issues can all take their toll. Anyone who says they don't ever get a dip in their sex drive must have an exceptionally good care free life.

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

Yep I agree. Pill, Covid, stress and insecurity. It's been a tough few years for us all.

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By *ricoupleCouple
over a year ago

London

"She's been on the pill all her sexual life and is nervous about not being on it and going through all the period problems. Hopefully this year will see her shine again. Trust me we are all missing out. Xxx"

Have you thought of having a vasectomy?

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By *explorer888 OP Man
over a year ago

Godalming

Yes and offered it as an option. Doesn't help with her lack of sex drive. Need to hold her hand and love her.

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By *ieandteaseMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Bin her and get a new one

Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!

Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!

Ma bad I’ll get my jacket "

Just before you do, he is asking on a sex site. His problem seems to be he's up for it while she's not.

If the relationship is about the sex then that's all there is, hence ask advice on a sex site.

Brutal though your response was & kinda tongue in cheek though predictable someone would say it, it's a route he should seriously consider.

Cut your losses now & part friends before you're caught up to the obvious temptations Fab has to offer (little gentler than "bin her" unfortunately same message).

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"If people were totally honest we think most people go through phases with their sex drive. Stress, worries, work, health issues young family and other commitments and issues can all take their toll. Anyone who says they don't ever get a dip in their sex drive must have an exceptionally good care free life."

Totally agree. We all peak and trough sex wise.

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

"My mojo disappeared months ago

"
it has not disappeared i can see it its yellow and stuck between your lovely boobs,,,

you need to go to specsavers,,, lol

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Bin her and get a new one

Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!

Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!

Ma bad I’ll get my jacket

Just before you do, he is asking on a sex site. His problem seems to be he's up for it while she's not.

If the relationship is about the sex then that's all there is, hence ask advice on a sex site.

Brutal though your response was & kinda tongue in cheek though predictable someone would say it, it's a route he should seriously consider.

Cut your losses now & part friends before you're caught up to the obvious temptations Fab has to offer (little gentler than "bin her" unfortunately same message).

That’s a bit harsh. Cut your losses.?What about help her with what could be a hormone issue!

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?

Bin her and get a new one "

I bet the block button is ringing on here for your profile like a major win on a las vegas fruit machine. Heartless totally heartless comment.

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