FabSwingers.com forum: why

By *on1 OP Man
over a year ago

spain

Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as a single lady I don't have a partner and I don't like them following me as it can be quite intimidating!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ? "

Not every lady goes to a club with a partner, I don't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sort out as in what exactly? We don't like it when a guy follows us around without making any attempt to speak to us but who is obviously waiting for us to get amorous whereupon a hand starts to grab my wife. It's just plain rude.

Or do you think that's ok?

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By *on1 OP Man
over a year ago

spain

Just saying a man is there for a reason ... Trying saying something ....or even stick your chest out mate ....talks cost nothing ..yes ?

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By *on1 OP Man
over a year ago

spain

As for you single ladies your looked after by the club owners yes ? X

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By *on1 OP Man
over a year ago

spain

Think guys in a cpls should grow a pair and say the way it is with singles guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I should stick my chest out and therefore intimidate a bloke who is behaving in a rude way towards us? Wouldn't it be better if the bloke didn't behave like that in the first place?

One of the reasons we enjoy going to clubs (apart from the obvious reasons) is because there's much less testosterone fuelled stupidity that you find in the average night club on a Friday night.

I shouldn't need to have to tell guys to sod off, all they need to do is say 'hello' and talk to us!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As for you single ladies your looked after by the club owners yes ? X "

OP have you been to a club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be followed around by a single guy without a word being said is excessively intimidating regardless of who you are in the club with - and the clubs I have been to - women were not looked after by the staff as such - I guess if a woman had called out or shouted then someone would have come to her rescue - manners cost nothing

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

"talks cost nothing ..yes ?

If talk costs nothing there is no reason why a single guy, or anyone else, can't find out if their attention is welcome.

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

Ok just a few points fist and the main one is my husband is timid and non-confuting so he wouldn't be the one who actually sorted anything out!!

Second on my part I hate it when we are followed around clubs just because your at the clubs doesn't mean you want to be on show or hassled about. It just is intimidating and really puts me off.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ? "

Me personally I'd tell them to stop myself.....

But it's stuff like having anyone "follow me around" and them thinking it's ok to be "following me around" that puts me right off clubs, and makes me stick to holding parties myself, where I know the guest list..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women should not have to be subjected to shit from single guys couples or single women if a guy comes up to us and gets pushy then I will polietly ask him to leave we are not intrested if after that he still isn't listening then said guy is leaving the club useing his head to open the door

I hate men being intimidateing to women and even worse if it is my missis

P.S sorry for spelling useing phone

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By *aulatv_ukTV/TS
over a year ago

Rhyl

Even as a TV (ie bloke in a dress) I find being stalked in a club and it happends a lot very intimidating no wonder you ladies find it un-nerving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot bare stalkers & towel twitchers in clubs, they make it a very negative and unfriendly atmosphere

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Why do men think its acceptable behaviour to follow women around clubs without having the social skills to actually say hello?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing anyone can do about them and they will do it regardless of whether someone has a partner or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think guys in a cpls should grow a pair and say the way it is with singles guys "

with this quote and the "stick your chest out" sounds like you want a fight more than a fuck mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think guys in a cpls should grow a pair and say the way it is with singles guys

with this quote and the "stick your chest out" sounds like you want a fight more than a fuck mate"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it is always the lady s prerogative who shes interested in or who she plays with !the single guys who grasp this get on a lot better

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By *ickey and MinnieCouple
over a year ago

South of Bath

It's this kind of attitude that the OP is showing that puts us right off club nights that single guys are allowed to

I'm amazed he has the one verification in over the year he's been on fab!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just saying a man is there for a reason ... Trying saying something ....or even stick your chest out mate ....talks cost nothing ..yes ?

You have to accept OP that people seek a variety of different experiences at swingers clubs. Some seek many partners, some ladies merely fem-fem fun, others seek merely to be watched, but almost all of these prefer being able to choose whom they interact with.

To put you in their shoes, let's say you were at a club where there were a large proportion of huge unattractive gay bears following you constantly around, leering at you while you're attempting play with a female, some of the bolder ones even smacking your arse or fondling your tackle to interrupt your ardour? Sure, you could 'stick your chest out' perhaps even put one or two of them on their arse if need be. But would you rather have to keep stopping your fun to do this or instead have them ascertain whether you were interested in the bar politely beforehand?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's this kind of attitude that the OP is showing that puts us right off club nights that single guys are allowed to

I'm amazed he has the one verification in over the year he's been on fab!!"
please don't let this post put you off, the neandathol attitude is thankfully quite rare

Please feel free to correct my spelling of neandathol if it incorrect

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Just saying a man is there for a reason ... Trying saying something ....or even stick your chest out mate ....talks cost nothing ..yes ?

The Victorian era called. They want their attitude back.

Its the 21st century mate. I am not a 'little woman' needing a bloke to fight my battles.

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"So I should stick my chest out and therefore intimidate a bloke who is behaving in a rude way towards us? Wouldn't it be better if the bloke didn't behave like that in the first place?

One of the reasons we enjoy going to clubs (apart from the obvious reasons) is because there's much less testosterone fuelled stupidity that you find in the average night club on a Friday night.

I shouldn't need to have to tell guys to sod off, all they need to do is say 'hello' and talk to us!"

exactly why should you have to change its the childish mentality of the young single guys who should leave it to the adults.

You shouldnt have to grow a pair and tell them to sod off some dont listen anyway. They should grown up and learn some respect you only get to touch when invited, running around following females couples or singles us the behaviour of animals.

We were told by a guy that you cant blame a guy for folliwing women around clubs and even touching and feeling as he wants to without even speaking to you.. ffs course we can just because we are in a swingers club does not mean we expect or tollerate behaviour like that. Let them keep it up and they can follow each other around, as they are the sort that wouldnt bother who or what it was as long as they had somewhere to shove it.

It is easily noticed by the complete childish attitude of alot of this site. spoiling it for everyone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I suspect the OP is just trying to provoke reaction he surely can't have been alive 51 years and have met many people and still think that single women have partners and go mutely to clubs waiting for these mythical partners to decide which predatory make could approach them and which they were going to see off by beating their chest and running at them like a silverback

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Damn phone I mean predatory male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think about gong to a nightclub or a pub would you think its acceptable to follow women around and touch without asking, so therefore why should it be ok at a swinging club a simple little conversation will be enough to find out if they are interested or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think guys in a cpls should grow a pair and say the way it is with singles guys

with this quote and the "stick your chest out" sounds like you want a fight more than a fuck mate"

Exactly what we were going to say.

We tend to just go for 'laps of the venue' when this happens and then watch the conga line follow. Maybe it's just us, but it does keep us quite amused!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the OP was doing a bit of stalking himself....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to clubs on my own, and have yet to come across any single gents following me around the place.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Think guys in a cpls should grow a pair and say the way it is with singles guys "

I think some single guys should learn some manners and not just follow women round waiting for their chance to pounce!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think about gong to a nightclub or a pub would you think its acceptable to follow women around and touch without asking, so therefore why should it be ok at a swinging club a simple little conversation will be enough to find out if they are interested or not."
your right and over my time had men like stalkers and had to get nasty one or two .. no is no and if not your sort why should thy .. Simple chat is all it should take .Not be there looking at every move you make its not right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't yet been to a club,but i am building myself up to it as i am quite a nervous type person although since i started swing i am very aware no that no means no, i have heard good and bad. Pork and a friend of ours that uses clubs a lot has spoken to me in depth about it all. The one thing that Pork and I have decided on is a safe word that only he and i know. I admire all ladies that go on their own as i know i couldn't do it....

(Perky)

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

It's quite incredible just how ignorant some people are.

I've been to a club on several occasions with ladies, as a couple, and witnessed this 'conga'.

It's because of these morons that I can never imagine going alone.

I'd hate to be thought of as one of their crowd.

To even ask the question surely demonstrates such a lack of social skills... Really. It's quite staggering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once said no to this man and he told his mates at the club and i had them all nasty as thinking i was up myself not shagging there mate . Its not nice and i cant just open my legs to all i have to like the look and the person and like i am more then a peace of meat .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's quite incredible just how ignorant some people are.

I've been to a club on several occasions with ladies, as a couple, and witnessed this 'conga'.

It's because of these morons that I can never imagine going alone.

I'd hate to be thought of as one of their crowd.

To even ask the question surely demonstrates such a lack of social skills... Really. It's quite staggering."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's when they start to form a que when they follow and look like penguins.....

Yes we have had it.

Then when you get a man trying to follow you into the loo it's not funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP between your groans of "ugg ugg arg arg, u woman me man I hav u now!", do u all a favour n just beat on your big old monkey chest an walk right out of the clubs front door, thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's quite incredible just how ignorant some people are.

I've been to a club on several occasions with ladies, as a couple, and witnessed this 'conga'.

It's because of these morons that I can never imagine going alone.

I'd hate to be thought of as one of their crowd.

To even ask the question surely demonstrates such a lack of social skills... Really. It's quite staggering."

its because of things like this that I can never contemplate going at all...ever...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do men think its acceptable behaviour to follow women around clubs without having the social skills to actually say hello?

A bizarre attitude from the OP. I'd just like to remind folks that many single men are decent human beings. Honest!

I love going to clubs alone but basic human decency (and the club rules) dectate that any fun is started by smiling, saying hello, chatting and understanding that some (many?) are not interested in single blokes / me.

Sex in a club is still sex - ie only enjoyable when shared with someone who is enjoying it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's quite incredible just how ignorant some people are.

I've been to a club on several occasions with ladies, as a couple, and witnessed this 'conga'.

It's because of these morons that I can never imagine going alone.

I'd hate to be thought of as one of their crowd.

To even ask the question surely demonstrates such a lack of social skills... Really. It's quite staggering.

its because of things like this that I can never contemplate going at all...ever..."
Maybe give it a go and meet friends there who have been before .. just to see if for you or not . As most of the time you dont have this .. been to clubs now years and really only had stuff like this 3 times .

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

So who was it that said Neandethals were wiped out thousands of years ago???, I think we have proof that the gene is still alive and well in deepest, darkest clubland, xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ? "

OP do you know of any woman, or man for that matter, who would like someone following them around? be it in a club or the local supermarket?

I suggest that you either grow up and learn to function in this century or stay home out of the way.

For us I don't make choices for my partner she makes her own. But so far has never played with anyone who hasn't spoken to her first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I love it, knowing that you can have three or more men who are following then induging you, bliss absolute bliss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I should add that in a club one is aware that there is a certain conduct and it is relatively safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe this is just a wind up ? Get people chatting ? or he done this and was told off. ? As he must know its not right to stork a person in a club or where ever ..If thay are not happy them around. ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just saying a man is there for a reason ... Trying saying something ....or even stick your chest out mate ....talks cost nothing ..yes ?

Are you actually being serious ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh I love it, knowing that you can have three or more men who are following then induging you, bliss absolute bliss

"
its bliss if you like and up for fun .. and when your not ... its not bliss.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

why would you want to follow people around?

surely connecting with people and going together to a play area is more horny and exciting than following people around in the hope.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ? "

Yeah, right on. All women should be compelled to attend clubs with a burly bodyguard, who would beat to a pulp anyone who follows them around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ? "

Am not sure what's worse

The fact that you don't know the answer or the fact you felt the need to ask.

Hopefully you have been provided with enough suitable reponses to allow you to make a correct judgement the next time you visit a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh I love it, knowing that you can have three or more men who are following then induging you, bliss absolute bliss

its bliss if you like and up for fun .. and when your not ... its not bliss."

True, but at the end of the day you can always tell them them to go away which they usually do. I expect it's more about the power of choice where the guys do not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ?

Am not sure what's worse

The fact that you don't know the answer or the fact you felt the need to ask.

Hopefully you have been provided with enough suitable reponses to allow you to make a correct judgement the next time you visit a club."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By the way my husband did ask the loo bloke to stop as we weren't interested very politely.

What he got was this bloke squaring up to him demanding to know why and if HE not MYSELF was sure!

The sad thing was we had already spoken to a lovely gent who had asked us if we were interested and we had told him maybe later.

We were trying to find him at that time to say yes.

We actually left instead.... so we lost out and the NICE gent did too....

All because of a bloke that decided it was his right to

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By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

Tell you what mate you would be more frightened of my mrs than of me, when she says no she means no. And that is all you would need to know.

But just for the record if you wanted the bloke (i.e me) to sort it out you would not be in the club long.

Take that how you will but if thats your attitude to people in clubs you do not belong there and deserve everything you get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The message to ladies I suppose is choose the clubs carefully. If you want extremely well behaved guys go to the ones who pride themselves on strict rules and do report them. If you go to a larger club where supervision is almost impossible due to size and layout in the dark room etc don't go. I've never had a problem by saying and meaning 'No' or giving the look when I encourage it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

For the most part I find men to be polite and follow club etiquette. I do find the man train funny as I try and work out their pecking order and how they decided their place in the line.

Males that I go to clubs with have as much right to enjoy themselves as I do. So, if they don't want certain other males around then they are free to say so. I do find it equally annoying when the single males ask the man I am with if it's ok to play with me. I'm there and make my own decisions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is pretty obvious the OP must have been at a club last night, didn't get lucky (I wonder why) and has come on here venting his frustration at how all those nasty couples didn't take his feelings into consideration by letting him get his caveman mitts on 'the wife'. Funny how he is not so vocal today although he is online lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the OP didn't get lucky last night and thought he'd come on stir things up by exhibiting a spot-on Victorian-era impression of attitude towards women.

I've never been to a club and to be honest, unless it was through a personal recommendation, I don't think I'd bother as I don't want to get lumped in with guys like the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few people have mentioned conga lines of guys following them around, am I the only that has the Benny Hill-esque image of loads of guys running after a woman with their knobs in their hands and the theme music in the background?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few people have mentioned conga lines of guys following them around, am I the only that has the Benny Hill-esque image of loads of guys running after a woman with their knobs in their hands and the theme music in the background?"
thanks for putting that image in my mind

I will whistle that tune if I see it happening in the club lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

If you speed it up it would look like that.

It's even more amusing when you see that the signal must have gone up that a couple are about to play. Automatons re-routed to the play area no matter what they were doing.

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

Thanks to the OP - NOT!!

This is why us single guys get a bad name, when in reality it is the knuckle-dragging minority that drag us all down to their level by implication.

I have seen the silent followers in clubs and it looks intimidating - but squaring up and starting an argument is hardly what any couple wants to do on their visit - they want fun not fighting!

And as a few ladies have mentioned - what would a single woman do going on your logic? I suppose you think they should just lie back and take it???

Never mind growing balls - GROW A BRAIN AND USE IT!

Grrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do ladys not like single guys follow them around the clubs . Shouldn't that be down to there partners to sort things out .... ? "

You are kidding, right??

I gave up on the whole club scene years ago as I was sick of constantly being tarred with the same brush as guys who do just that, before even getting the chance to strike up conversation as the common perception was that all guys behave as you have suggested!!

Truly unbelievable!!!

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

That is the reason why we will now only go to Chams on a Saturday night, Dave got fed up by the sheep following along behind never saying a word, would just sit close by waiting when we went into the round room, the only place we could find a seat, sneeking glances out of the corner of their eye, waiting, always waiting. If they had had the balls to say something or even make eye contact, they might have stood a chance of a more enjoyable evening. As it was we left early.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The strangest thing I can remember from the few times I've attended a club was a time I went as a single and had a little fun while there, yet found out just before I left that a couple were interested in my joining them for some fun but had thought I wouldn't be interested due to me NOT following them upstairs when they went up.

Bear in mind that although we had had a brief but funny chat in the bar area at no point did they so much as flirt with me at all, they just assumed I'd stalk them upstairs if I wanted to join them as if it was the norm!

I can't imagine what their normal experiences had been like under the circumstances, but I've never followed anyone round like a lost sheep and have no intention of doing so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn phone I mean predatory male

Oi! What about us Predatory Makes then???

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"The strangest thing I can remember from the few times I've attended a club was a time I went as a single and had a little fun while there, yet found out just before I left that a couple were interested in my joining them for some fun but had thought I wouldn't be interested due to me NOT following them upstairs when they went up.

I can't imagine what their normal experiences had been like under the circumstances, but I've never followed anyone round like a lost sheep and have no intention of doing so!"

Well Said

We are NOT all bad (single guys that is)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Damn phone I mean predatory male

Oi! What about us Predatory Makes then???

you predatory makes are even worse

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By *on1 OP Man
over a year ago

spain

Thanks for all your comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To many a single bloke, the idea of walking up to a couple in a club (with intent) is a scary concept.

Not only do you not know what the reaction might be, but you also have the fear of rejection and thinking 'have i just made a dick of meself there?'

That said, the idea of traipsing round after someone you are attracted to without actually saying anything and just waiting for an opportunity to pounce or get an invite is, to me, far more daunting.

I would sooner be seen as the guy who tried (and maybe failed) than the creep that followed us round like a damp fart and said or did nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree mate. Its a given that not everyone will find anyone attractive. Some ladies prefer men who are older than me and a bit more spread out so to speak (think Eammon Holmes for example) as if they have children who are now grown up my body appears by visual triggers child-like to them, but even then that doesn't stop me having a good crack with them.

Even if they weren't attracted to me I'd still rather be known as a bloke who's game for a laugh and fun to talk to than a mute sheep who just wants to stick his knob into anything female before siently fucking off...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*silently. Oops!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I used to go to clubs a lot. I spent a lot of time getting to know the regulars without playing first as well.

I would say hello to women and couples I liked and introduce myself then simply leave them alone, they knew I was interested without me hounding them all night.

Some of my success in the club was from women, or couples, who were being followed about by a bloke or blokes and who came over to me to chat to get away from them. I ended up as the one playing and not them.

In a club be friendly and confident, don't be afraid to introduce yourself and drop the odd compliment - but don't hang around like a bad smell unless you're invited. Eye contact across a room can be good, just smile and nod but don't stare.

Also chat to other people, even ones you don't want to play with, show people you're sociable and friendly.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If you speed it up it would look like that.

It's even more amusing when you see that the signal must have gone up that a couple are about to play. Automatons re-routed to the play area no matter what they were doing."

This is why one of my fave club games is to go into a room, sit on the bed and talk to my friend intently for a few minutes (usually placing our bets) then look up to see how many followed us in!

Clubs do look out for single women, but some are better then others (eg chams is such a rabbit warren that looking for a staff member will take so long that the problem guy can have dressed and left by the time you find one).

I have no problem being watched by the silent towel tuggers but I do object to any assumption that they can join in or fondle. And if they haven't bothered to talk to me (I like confident men) then they will only get an invite to play if they are an exceptional physical specimen

So follow me around like sheep by all means. But I don't need a man to tell you to go away or to leave me alone - I'm very capable and also can be sarcastic and quite unpleasant, without being rude - and you won't be getting more than a _iew for your trouble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i go to clubs alone so if i have any problems i have to sort it out myself, which im very good at :-

To be honest i dont really have the problem of guys following me around as i dont walk round the play rooms looking, which is when guys usually latch onto womrn, i tend to chat to people in the bar or smoking area and only go into play areas if i find someone to go play with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for why i dont like guys following me around the answer to that in simple

Some guys make no effort to talk to women, i can at times sit in the bar area for a good hour and the only people who talk to me are people i know, but you can see the guys watching you, soon as you move they follow hoping you go into a room, so they can stick their cock in your mouth

why should i suck a guy who hasnt even got the manners to come say hi or ask me if i'd like to play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As for why i dont like guys following me around the answer to that in simple

why should i suck a guy who hasnt even got the manners to come say hi or ask me if i'd like to play?"

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"As for why i dont like guys following me around the answer to that in simple

why should i suck a guy who hasnt even got the manners to come say hi or ask me if i'd like to play?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just saying a man is there for a reason ... Trying saying something ....or even stick your chest out mate ....talks cost nothing ..yes ?

Living proof that darwins theory hasn't reached its conclusion yet

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