FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So this arsehole leaned in and touched Dora uninvited in a hot tub yesterday at a spa.

He got a proper telling off by both of us but this morning I’m wondering, should we have grassed him to management for the good of future members?

Perhaps he was first time at a club and his expectations were all wrong?

He did get told by us.

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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago

West Mids

"So this arsehole leaned in and touched Dora uninvited in a hot tub yesterday at a spa.

He got a proper telling off by both of us but this morning I’m wondering, should we have grassed him to management for the good of future members?

Perhaps he was first time at a club and his expectations were all wrong?

He did get told by us. "

You should have just slapped him.

It was completely disrespectful.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We normally give them a direct in person warning. If they do it again a word with one of the team hosting the event.

Don't want to ve seen as tell tell's. Or running for the hills at first moment. Things get done in the heat of the moment. Give them the bennifit in the first.

However, if it's something more hard core, than just a touch. Then We'd be tempted to report.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had this twice, on our first trips to 2 different clubs. A stern "don't touch" did the job both times. We enjoy playing infront of people so we may have been in rooms where people may think they could get involved,which is kind of on us. but surely people should at least wait for any sort of invite.

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By *ternal PunishmentCouple
over a year ago

The Abyss

Along as he didn't try again.. and listened to your bollocking..

But no second chances management should be told if he tried again

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By *urious_couple_ukCouple
over a year ago

South Cambs

We had a similar thing. Husband was licking me out and a man started touching me. I just said “we’re happy playing alone” or something but he carried on. So I said “No thank you” in a stern voice. He carried on. I then had to get husband (who was a little distracted and unaware of what was going on up top). He would only leave when hubby told him. FFS it’s my body!!!

With hindsight we should have told management. Sleazy bugger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Along as he didn't try again.. and listened to your bollocking..

But no second chances management should be told if he tried again "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people assume swingers clubs are a free for all orgy where everyone fucks in a pile. (Thanks porn!)

I think the club people on the door should tell everyone the rules when they enter. Every time they go, and not just men. Women touch without permission too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people assume swingers clubs are a free for all orgy where everyone fucks in a pile. (Thanks porn!)

I think the club people on the door should tell everyone the rules when they enter. Every time they go, and not just men. Women touch without permission too. "

Agree with this 100% both times with us it has been couples that have tried to help themselves.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

It's a difficult one because people do make errors in judgement. I think we generally go with a no thanks and a push away. Granted depending on exactly what they've done. If it's proper full on there'd be trouble, no warning first. Then if they try it again after being told no then there clearly is a problem and if looks like they are going to continue being a pest tell the management. Its all a matter of judgement really.

There's a bit of a difference between a squeeze of a leg and just going in for it. Something happed to Mrs Misfit once and I was going to kill the guy when I found out but he ran out of the club before I could get to him. He was never seen again but its a shame there's not a good system to make sure these people can't get entrance to other clubs.

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By *aramel.desiresMan
over a year ago

London

There is a simple rule to follow. Wait for permission!

OP you handled it well. A firm warning and everyone else understand your position too.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

My limited experience as the male half of a couple at clubs is that other couples generally don't ask - they just touch you somewhere and see how you react. And that applies to both males and females.

When we started I was much too embarrassed to ask, so I didn't initiate anything. But now we're getting a little more confidence, asking is actually quite fun.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

As others have said, a firm and clear NO is appropriate at the first instance. That said, they may have been groping women all night so it could be worth mentioning to the club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/01/22 10:23:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone touched my Mrs at a “Spa” uninvited id rearrange his jaw . If it was at a “club” then thats slightly different but they still need to be careful as you cant just go around touching people and a firm telling off would do .

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"If someone touched my Mrs at a “Spa” uninvited id rearrange his jaw . If it was at a “club” then thats slightly different"

I guess the situations I'm thinking of are where there's one big bed, and a whole load of couples playing next to each other. I'd ask, but I'm not fussed if others stretch out an exploratory hand. As long as they accept that no means no (but then I've never wanted to say no, so far!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone touched my Mrs at a “Spa” uninvited id rearrange his jaw . If it was at a “club” then thats slightly different

Yeh i get that totally … its just the OP said “at a spa” which would be slightly worrying if someones going around touching people in a spa lol

But what you’re l saying i get

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"would be slightly worrying if someones going around touching people in a spa lol

Yes, you're right that's completely out of order. In a spa I'd say it should be reported straight away, but I understand if the OP didn't want to spoil their day by getting into an argument.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve only ever been touched without consent by females, so it’s not just single guys.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

At a vanila spa I’d absolutely be reporting.

In a club, a polite no thanks would be fine for me. If they repeated then I’d speak to the hosts,

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt; there’s that many rules, preferences and different etiquette at clubs that it’s easy to get confused of what’s the norm and what isn’t x

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