FabSwingers.com forum: Should single guys message?

By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

Yes it is best to do these things. But also can't really comment on the content of your messages...

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errr no, we welcone messages from single guys. There are way too many on here for us to go looking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

I usually use a template message with some changes to it depending on the profile. Most people don’t enjoy it but it’s a numbers game here really. Craft a good template and have some decent pics to send over with it. That’s where I’ve seen the most success so far on here.

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By *orkshireDrifterMan
over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

"Errr no, we welcone messages from single guys. There are way too many on here for us to go looking. "

That is a refreshing change from most couples attitudes.

When we had a couples profile both on here and previously via Contact magazines ( yes, we have been playing for quite a while) we were swamped....

Now, playing solo, I take the OP's stance and let couples seek me out: no wasting time & they know what they want!

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Yes they should but having actually read and digested the profiles of those they're contacting. It's not much to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

Why not as long as your not rude or disrespectful then go for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deffo should but keep your expectations low, your message quality high, and really pump those numbers on the volume of messages you send out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy here, if can't send messages, then really no point bring here. As I never get any messages sent to me first.

I always read the profiles first before I send

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I send messages and get replies. From all sorts of people, not just the forums.

I don't ask for sex. I don't treat them any differently than I would if I saw them in the street.

I remark on statuses, or new pics or....well anything.

Most conversations go nowhere, but that is what they are for. To see if it goes somewhere.

Plus, ita my only social life atm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're a genuine straight Caucasian bloke like myself, you have to message without a shadow of a doubt, most of the time you are pissing into the wind. Unless you are bi a TV/ts or you're name is big Leroy, unequivocally you have to message first. Unfortunately it's almost a crime to be a straight white gentleman on fab, over 6 years this has been my personal experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a message back once.

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By *otcplmidsCouple
over a year ago

Warwick

"I got a message back once."

That could be because you have no pics on your profile?

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

It's hard work as a single guy. But generally most of the best meets I had off here when I was a single guy came from me sending the first messages. Including the message that hooked Mrs Misfit in.

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By *impleSailorMan
over a year ago

the moon

If you don't try you'll never know.

If you're respectful and honest them why not message first. Of they reply with a no thanks then so be it. If you do not get a reply do not persist

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Men make that mistake. Messages don't hook people. They can act as an attention grabber, but they can't make someone like you.

They can,however, put people off you completely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't try you'll never know.

If you're respectful and honest them why not message first. Of they reply with a no thanks then so be it. If you do not get a reply do not persist"

I get a few replies, it does get me down, when I do click with someone they too far away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message back once.

That could be because you have no pics on your profile?"

Yeah, that's my master plan. It's really good. Then I impress them with my skills at mouse trap and it's a done deal.

I'm sure i'll survive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message back once.

That could be because you have no pics on your profile?"

I've gone 3 years without receiving a single message on fab, I have ample pictures on my profile.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

Whilst it's good to have a decent profile and bio that's only part of the task. Rest is your own approach to connect and grab another's attention whom may view your profile and take matters further but if you to sit and wait.what are you waiting for exactly because they could be also be waiting and that becomes a missed opportunity

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

I only message very occasionally and only then in response to a forum comment. Other times, I wait to be invited. As you point out, there's not much point in doing much else, given that women are drowning in a sea of messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

of couse single guys should message ?? but at least read the profile before hand and then if you think its ok then at least write a half decent first message ..no one wants a book just a non sexual ice breakers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes they should but having actually read and digested the profiles of those they're contacting. It's not much to ask."

Totally agree with this!

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"If you're a genuine straight Caucasian bloke like myself, you have to message without a shadow of a doubt, most of the time you are pissing into the wind. Unless you are bi a TV/ts or you're name is big Leroy, unequivocally you have to message first. Unfortunately it's almost a crime to be a straight white gentleman on fab, over 6 years this has been my personal experience. "

This would almost be subject to derision if it was not sad that I almost got my violin out. The truth is Fab is tough for everyone including single males of whatever colour, or sexual persuasion.

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By *andM25Couple
over a year ago

NOTTINGHAM

As a couple who welcome messages from single guys, absolutely you should. A few tips for what we look for though in a message,

1. Read our profile and show you have.

2. Address us both not just S as most of the time for us it’s M that will reply.

3. Keep it light, you wouldn’t introduce yourself normally with ‘I’d love to fuck your misses’

4. Don’t expect a reply straight away as we don’t live on here

And finally if we say thank you for messaging but your not what we are looking for, don’t take it personally, it’s not we just know what we want. No reply or a simple thanks and good day will do.

Good luck x

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By *r_magic_tongueMan
over a year ago

Hull

I've always found, the more effort you make with your profile and 1st message, the more success you'll have.

Read the profile, see what they're looking for, then write an intelligent polite message, including a face pic.

You won't be what everbody is looking for, you will get rejections, however you'll also have successes.

This site is what you make of it. No effort = no reward, simple.

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By *ussle SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"As a couple who welcome messages from single guys, absolutely you should. A few tips for what we look for though in a message,

1. Read our profile and show you have.

2. Address us both not just S as most of the time for us it’s M that will reply.

3. Keep it light, you wouldn’t introduce yourself normally with ‘I’d love to fuck your misses’

4. Don’t expect a reply straight away as we don’t live on here

And finally if we say thank you for messaging but your not what we are looking for, don’t take it personally, it’s not we just know what we want. No reply or a simple thanks and good day will do.

Good luck x

Very helpful and well presented so it’s easy to understand. May everything in your inbox be this well written

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By *hambamNIMan
over a year ago

city centre

I think there is a lot of time wasters and fakes on here regardless and the genuine people pay the price for it

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Nothing ventured nothing gained.Although I send out polite messages I seldom get a positive outcome.From a personal perspective I find I am better of going to club , spa or socials

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"As a couple who welcome messages from single guys, absolutely you should. A few tips for what we look for though in a message,

1. Read our profile and show you have.

2. Address us both not just S as most of the time for us it’s M that will reply.

3. Keep it light, you wouldn’t introduce yourself normally with ‘I’d love to fuck your misses’

4. Don’t expect a reply straight away as we don’t live on here

And finally if we say thank you for messaging but your not what we are looking for, don’t take it personally, it’s not we just know what we want. No reply or a simple thanks and good day will do.

Good luck x

Thanks you! And yes this is what I do, and I take the rejection on the chin, I understand couples and single women get LOADS of messages.

Only thing I don’t like is rude people and time wasters, thought I’d see if there was another way of going about things on here.

Thanks for the advice, enjoy your night!

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"Yes they should but having actually read and digested the profiles of those they're contacting. It's not much to ask."

I think a lot of guys do this, but we can’t even get a kind “no thank you” back. Maybe that’s too much to ask considering how many messages you get?

I don’t know, just seeing if there’s a better way to go about things.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Better pics would be a start, multiple dick picks and action shots of unprotected sex are massively off putting.

Your bio also comes over as quite immature.

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"I got a message back once."

Hahhaa I hope this was meant as a joke!

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Errr no, we welcone messages from single guys. There are way too many on here for us to go looking. "

You say the sweetest things. Lol

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"I got a message back once.

That could be because you have no pics on your profile?"

Hmmm I doubt it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely more to do with your profile and not because you a straight or white!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Yes they should.

Most if my chats are just platonic.

It doesn't always have to be sex, sex, sex.

Unless it's about blue underwear.

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages.

M "

If you’ve came to the same conclusion I’d say I’m pretty fucked hahah.

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"Definitely more to do with your profile and not because you a straight or white!"

What?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't message but that's personal choice. I don't have the time or inclination to chat to lots of people and prefer to keep my circle small.

I've made the effort with my profile and it's up to others to decide how well crafted it is or not.

I let people make their own decisions based on what they see and read on there coupled with my forum interaction and as a result I've had messages from women who claim they have never sent a first message to a man before but felt comfortable doing so because of all of the above.

That works for me. It may not for anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That was in reply to the poor oppressed man claiming that it's a crime to be white and straight in fab

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"Better pics would be a start, multiple dick picks and action shots of unprotected sex are massively off putting.

Your bio also comes over as quite immature."

Immature? Because I say what I like? And what I want? Would you like me to supplicate like a child?

“Please miss may I have some?”

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"That was in reply to the poor oppressed man claiming that it's a crime to be white and straight in fab

Ahhh, try quote in response.

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"I don't message but that's personal choice. I don't have the time or inclination to chat to lots of people and prefer to keep my circle small.

I've made the effort with my profile and it's up to others to decide how well crafted it is or not.

That works for me. It may not for anyone else."

Good to know.

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

I’d definitely suggest messaging.

The ratio of guys to women and couples is huge; unless you can put on an Adonis-esque gallery, sitting back and waiting will most likely leave you waiting a long time.

Sending messages can work in your favour in finding out who you gel with and who you don’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the key is to not expect anything. If you like a profile and you have read the requirements then message with no expectations then no harm done. You have to put yourself out there but I think from what I’ve seen and heard that is that’s desperation is the most unattractive trait. In the words of dr jake Housman (dirty dancing) if I’m wrong then say I’m wrong

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By *ore4fundevonCouple
over a year ago

West Devon

"As a couple who welcome messages from single guys, absolutely you should. A few tips for what we look for though in a message,

1. Read our profile and show you have.

2. Address us both not just S as most of the time for us it’s M that will reply.

3. Keep it light, you wouldn’t introduce yourself normally with ‘I’d love to fuck your misses’

4. Don’t expect a reply straight away as we don’t live on here

And finally if we say thank you for messaging but your not what we are looking for, don’t take it personally, it’s not we just know what we want. No reply or a simple thanks and good day will do.

Good luck x

Couldn't have put it any better.

Happy to chat with anyone but don't particularly need to hear what you'd do to her or to be expected to tell you what she'd do with 'this'.

We don't necessarily expect anyone to pass a test about the content of our profile but as an example: don't ask if she does bare when it clearly says safe sex only or get arsey when we reiterate we don't meet smokers, as it shows this also.

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Yes they should but having actually read and digested the profiles of those they're contacting. It's not much to ask."

This, message if they've read and meet the profiles preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a couple who welcome messages from single guys, absolutely you should. A few tips for what we look for though in a message,

1. Read our profile and show you have.

2. Address us both not just S as most of the time for us it’s M that will reply.

3. Keep it light, you wouldn’t introduce yourself normally with ‘I’d love to fuck your misses’

4. Don’t expect a reply straight away as we don’t live on here

And finally if we say thank you for messaging but your not what we are looking for, don’t take it personally, it’s not we just know what we want. No reply or a simple thanks and good day will do.

Good luck x

"
Exactly this!

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"It seems almost pointless, any other lads think this?

Seems best to wait and see if you get a message, wink or a fab on a photo from someone, then message, but even that can be fruitless.

Starting to think if it’s best to just take some good pics, write a well crafted profile and see if you get any messages. "

To be honest OP don't take it personal, it's not just you, and it's not just single men.

On a recent weekend away we sent around 20 messages. Three are still unread four weeks later. Most have been deleted without reply, one replied to say no thanks and two others said they had alternative plans.

SandM25 has given some great advice that will probably be agreed by most couples or single women. But the best advice we can give is for you to use the site in whatever suits you best, but keep your expectations low. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't then c'est la vie.

Good luck

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I don't 90% of the time it just a pointless exercise. I just stick to meeting people at clubs.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Better pics would be a start, multiple dick picks and action shots of unprotected sex are massively off putting.

Your bio also comes over as quite immature.

Immature? Because I say what I like? And what I want? Would you like me to supplicate like a child?

“Please miss may I have some?” "

And there's the petulant attitude, explains alot. You asked for advice, you could just address the issues. You might have more success

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

You could block men from sending messages, that would scrap the first paragraph.

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

"Yes they should but having actually read and digested the profiles of those they're contacting. It's not much to ask."

This- for the love of god please read the profiie first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We welcome messages from males but the context of the messages from them are mostly all the same,if something catches my eye i will read n have a look if not then we wont reply,not to b rude but im not replying to 300 messages a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We lose the will to live when we start “searching” profiles so usually prefer to respond to winks or messages from likely single men instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tough one as everyones different. Some ladies love a cheeky opening message some love having the control of messaging the lad first. Theres no right or wrong really id say dont overthink it. Respond how you would normally respond, if they like it happy days if they dont move one

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"Better pics would be a start, multiple dick picks and action shots of unprotected sex are massively off putting.

Your bio also comes over as quite immature.

Immature? Because I say what I like? And what I want? Would you like me to supplicate like a child?

“Please miss may I have some?”

And there's the petulant attitude, explains alot. You asked for advice, you could just address the issues. You might have more success "

That’s the thing though, there is no issue. I think you just don’t like men being men, saying what they want.

You’re confusing being petulant with being confident.

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By *adInLiverpool OP Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"You could block men from sending messages, that would scrap the first paragraph."

I did, but guys in couples still do it.

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