FabSwingers.com forum: Finding some special again

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well my story is this, my other half, now ex left me after 20 years of being together. 17 of them was living together. So the night before she was gonna leave in the morning I done something I never thought possible. She went out to get money from back, I jump straight up in historic not knowning what I'm gonna do with out thinking went downstairs got a bread knife front the kitchen and went back upstairs jumped in the bath and slit my throat to end my life. Didn't even think about it didn't even hurt. She came back and found me. There's me think it happens quickly like you see in the movies but it's not. Anyways she found me applied pressure until the ambulance turned up telling me she loves me and all that. I went to Norwich emergency plastic surgery ward for 8 days while the fix my throat. Very good job they did can't thank then enough with he help and support they gave me. I then went to halston mental health hospital for about 4 weeks to recover mental. When I got out she didn't want to live together any more as didn't trust me to do it again. Understandable must of been hard. When messaging keeps telling me she loved me and will always be here for me. So I ended up sofa surfing round s mates for 6 months. During that time we where messaging talking. Just pointing out haven't seen her since that night by this time just messages and phone calls. All promising stuff that never happened for the 6 months I was homeless. During this time our family pet past away we had for 13 years called him my little man lovely loyal staff. Because I was round my best mates I couldn't of been there for him when he was out down as it happened suddenly and was with my partner now ex. During our time together we where swingers and had several profiles in fab. Meet so many lovely people on that journey. Back to the story she has kept saying through all of this there was a chance of getting back together to the point we start spending the night together to see how we got on. Went fine for me. Guess not her tho. As now in my own flat settle had to by everything again as I gave her the house and most stuff needed for it as wasn't right putting the mother of my children on the streets with nothing. She has worked through all the pandemic in a busy store so I don't know if that didn't help as was never happy and always coming home complaining as I wasn't working due to COVID. So was at home helping as much as I could. So no she say we are friends it only message now and again. It does hurt so much losing someone that now only love you in a friends way. When your been with them so long HOW and I mean HOW do I now go about looking at other one to date. Never thought would be with anyone else.yet now I am gonna be. New start new adventure. I'm so scared of Messing up getting reject or starting on that doesn't last as I feel like I can't keep finding lady after lady til I find one that we together for the rest of our life's. I'm not the most confident man when it comes to talking to women. Not used to dating as never had to do it as we where young teenages when we got together and by passed it all. Now there's all this apps and sites. My way was walking up to a lady you like to get a yes or no not none of this swiping crap. Anyone's advice would be most appreciated as all my mental health family and friends support has told me to talk and open up.

Many thanks xx