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Nurses at GUM clinic

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By *eet_the_spartan OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Just as an offshoot from the STI thread, has anyone had any funny reactions from nurses at a GUM clinic when getting the list of questions?

When I went, there were two nurses in the room. One had her face hidden behind a screen when the questions were being asked and the one talking to me was definitely having trouble keeping a straight face. The eyebrows kept flying up, haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only funny response I had was a nurse looking at me and asking if I'd missed a number off.

Normally sexual partners for me raises eyebrows but this particular month it was only 4. So she asked me if I had forgotten a number. The other nurse looked a bit shocked. I just replied that I'd been ill and would make up for it next month.

Cali

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

On my first visit was asked last time I'd had sex with my wife, Wednesday, last time I'd had sex with someone else? Erm Saturday, and person before that? Ermmmm still Saturday! Ah you're swingers are you? Lol. Then when asked if I'd had sex with a bloke I said not but my voice broke so I ended up squealing no in a falsetto pmsl.

Mush.

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By *ondering_yorkshiremanMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near NE Derbyshire/S Yorkshire/Nottinghamshire border


"On my first visit was asked last time I'd had sex with my wife, Wednesday, last time I'd had sex with someone else? Erm Saturday, and person before that? Ermmmm still Saturday! Ah you're swingers are you? Lol. Then when asked if I'd had sex with a bloke I said not but my voice broke so I ended up squealing no in a falsetto pmsl.

Mush. "

Sorry Mush but burst oit laughing on bus, however, thanks folks uve reminded me mine is due soon,

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

When I last went for a check up I was asked how many partners and I said over 30, but if they wanted something more definite, I'd have to check my website....

The look on their face was something

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Just out of interest, does it matter how many?

You either have kept uti free or its gone a little wrong..... so why do they need to know? I would be nervous of them knowing my lifestyle....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haha i hate them questions, but last time i went they took 3 weeks to not tell me my results

so i phoned them up , and waited ages got some woman on the phone reading them on a computer and sure she was having my life this is how the converstation went

"right ill go through your results and let you know how you got on

clamidia - negative

......... short pause to build to the moment

gonnera - ................... negative

(meanwhile im thinking bloody hell this is like xfactor when they trying to make it exciting who's going to get kicked off the show, expect its with diseases i dont want arggghh haha - then part of me was thinking its like saying ohh you dont have gonnera but hang on you might have HIV ! )

im sure she was doing it on purpose haha

went thourhg the list one by one, the pauses getting longer and longer

then she saved HIV to last, said HIV, waited a good 10 seconds and said negative , i thought she was having a laugh like but sure did make me regret having to take on them tests haha

i thought why not say ok your negative to everything lol

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy


"When I last went for a check up I was asked how many partners and I said over 30, but if they wanted something more definite, I'd have to check my website....

The look on their face was something "

Great post

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

no, our 'nurses' etc are cool with what they hear...

did take a longer look at one who confided 'there are some lovely 'clients' who swing'..

mmm, and yes indeed we would lol..

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By *eglieanCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

The female nurse (stated female because of the obvious ) when sticking the hypo in for a blood test , said its so nice to stick a prick in a fella for a change.

The wait for results is agonising,, but the joy with the all clear wow

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We're open about the fact we swing and nurses and doctors seem very non-judgmental when we have routine tests. One female health advisor even gave R some ribbed condoms and suggested she got her men to wear them to add to her pleasure.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Nice to hear some are open minded - I've got the worst at my health centre - I've just been told when ringing up for results that I can't have a other sti check for 2 years cos Ive had 2 in the last 12 months so had more than my fair share!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno about this thread but I have never been asked about the number of people I have slept with or the range of people I meet.

Do they only ask this of women?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Dunno about this thread but I have never been asked about the number of people I have slept with or the range of people I meet.

Do they only ask this of women?"

I have never been asked about the numbers either.

The only question I am regularly asked is if there is a specific reason I want to be tested.... which is more about finding out if I have any specific concerns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"haha i hate them questions, but last time i went they took 3 weeks to not tell me my results

so i phoned them up , and waited ages got some woman on the phone reading them on a computer and sure she was having my life this is how the converstation went

"right ill go through your results and let you know how you got on

clamidia - negative

......... short pause to build to the moment

gonnera - ................... negative

(meanwhile im thinking bloody hell this is like xfactor when they trying to make it exciting who's going to get kicked off the show, expect its with diseases i dont want arggghh haha - then part of me was thinking its like saying ohh you dont have gonnera but hang on you might have HIV ! )

im sure she was doing it on purpose haha

went thourhg the list one by one, the pauses getting longer and longer

then she saved HIV to last, said HIV, waited a good 10 seconds and said negative , i thought she was having a laugh like but sure did make me regret having to take on them tests haha

i thought why not say ok your negative to everything lol"

Could you not consider the fact that she may have been reading various computer screens or perhaps scanning through doctors notes for the results. I seriously doubt they do it to build up suspense. I'm guessing they wouldn't be interested in doing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dunno about this thread but I have never been asked about the number of people I have slept with or the range of people I meet.

Do they only ask this of women?

I have never been asked about the numbers either.

The only question I am regularly asked is if there is a specific reason I want to be tested.... which is more about finding out if I have any specific concerns."

Yes I have that but I dont get results over the phone either.

Also, one of your pictures looks like Pink, the musician.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nah i think where i go they have heard it all, ive never even said so much as made them look up and ive said some dodgy things lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The nursing staff at my local GUM clinic are unshockable, there isn't much they haven't heard I don't think

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

My clinic asks about the last 5 partners, last time I was tested, the last 5 had all been the same night the previous weekend at a party, I'm very open about being a swinger with the clinic, and I now go 3 monthly for "peace of mind" checks and they don't have any problems with that, infact the nurse who's seen me several times now usually says "hang on, I'll get you more condoms and lube, not got enough here for you..."

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By *xTitsAndTattsxxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"nah i think where i go they have heard it all, ive never even said so much as made them look up and ive said some dodgy things lol"

Which 1 do u go 2 hun sorry 4 bein nosey, just that I'm local 2 u and need to find 1 X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice to hear some are open minded - I've got the worst at my health centre - I've just been told when ringing up for results that I can't have a other sti check for 2 years cos Ive had 2 in the last 12 months so had more than my fair share!! "

That's surprised me...my GUM clinic were impressed at how regularly I get checked and were telling me they wished more people were honest about it and got such regular checks. I have been completely open with them though so that could have something to do with it?

As for asking about number of partners, I do get asked when I last had sex and if it was a regular partner and roughly how many in the last 6 months. They rarely seem shocked...although they do like to ask for stories (often whilst I'm in the stirrups!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one in HWest is full of really stunning blondes. I think I may have to go more often lol

Had them all running about looking for latex free condoms for me.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"Nice to hear some are open minded - I've got the worst at my health centre - I've just been told when ringing up for results that I can't have a other sti check for 2 years cos Ive had 2 in the last 12 months so had more than my fair share!!

That's surprised me...my GUM clinic were impressed at how regularly I get checked and were telling me they wished more people were honest about it and got such regular checks. I have been completely open with them though so that could have something to do with it?

As for asking about number of partners, I do get asked when I last had sex and if it was a regular partner and roughly how many in the last 6 months. They rarely seem shocked...although they do like to ask for stories (often whilst I'm in the stirrups!) "

Yeah I have to say it surprised me too but it was my local health centre and not the GUM clinic!! Unfortunately the only GUM clinic near me isn't very often open and not at times I can easier get there but I guess I'm gonna have to try in future!!

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Although I didnt have any symptoms etc I went after a lads holiday towards the end of the eighties when HIV (and all the ignorance, myths and misinformation surrounding it were in full swing)

The doctor/advisor, who fancied himself as a bit of a comedian said 'well, im afraid your going to die ...but on this occasions it wont be from HIV AIDS or any other STD..it will probably be old age like most people'

Oh ha fuckng ha mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dunno about this thread but I have never been asked about the number of people I have slept with or the range of people I meet.

Do they only ask this of women?

I have never been asked about the numbers either.

The only question I am regularly asked is if there is a specific reason I want to be tested.... which is more about finding out if I have any specific concerns."

They even ask for the first names of who you`ve been with at our clinic......nosey beggers.

They also ask if you`ve been with another woman. Last time when i said yes,the lady said...OOoo have you, with a big smile on her face lol.

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By * starr -Woman
over a year ago

Burton on Trent.


"Although I didnt have any symptoms etc I went after a lads holiday towards the end of the eighties when HIV (and all the ignorance, myths and misinformation surrounding it were in full swing)

The doctor/advisor, who fancied himself as a bit of a comedian said 'well, im afraid your going to die ...but on this occasions it wont be from HIV AIDS or any other STD..it will probably be old age like most people'

Oh ha fuckng ha mate!

"

pissed my self laughing at this one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the clinic i go to said i was either very saftey concious or took alot of risks because i went every 3 months i told them i never go without a condom and told them what i did the doctor was great and even suggested i had hep b injections which i did she didnt look down on me atall

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By *eet_the_spartan OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"Dunno about this thread but I have never been asked about the number of people I have slept with or the range of people I meet.

Do they only ask this of women?"

Dude, i'm a dude . Therefore no

But they alwasy ask me how many in the last 6 months and like they did for milk and cookies, they ask for first names of the last 5 people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol Cali...and did you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The one in HWest is full of really stunning blondes. I think I may have to go more often lol

Had them all running about looking for latex free condoms for me."

One of those stunning blondes grinned at me in a restaurant when i was with someone!

I was mortified!

They do dish out loads of flavoured condoms though ( at gum not at the restaurant)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"Just as an offshoot from the STI thread, has anyone had any funny reactions from nurses at a GUM clinic when getting the list of questions?

When I went, there were two nurses in the room. One had her face hidden behind a screen when the questions were being asked and the one talking to me was definitely having trouble keeping a straight face. The eyebrows kept flying up, haha!"

Funny reactions no, their ability to get me hard and fling the curtain open to the second nurse peering over casually, yes.

Not that I mins at all, I get checked regularly as cockwork needless to say

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Just as an offshoot from the STI thread, has anyone had any funny reactions from nurses at a GUM clinic when getting the list of questions?

When I went, there were two nurses in the room. One had her face hidden behind a screen when the questions were being asked and the one talking to me was definitely having trouble keeping a straight face. The eyebrows kept flying up, haha!

Funny reactions no, their ability to get me hard and fling the curtain open to the second nurse peering over casually, yes.

Not that I mins at all, I get checked regularly as cockwork needless to say "

Now THAT'S a good pun!!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Lol

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham


"haha i hate them questions, but last time i went they took 3 weeks to not tell me my results

so i phoned them up , and waited ages got some woman on the phone reading them on a computer and sure she was having my life this is how the converstation went

"right ill go through your results and let you know how you got on

clamidia - negative

......... short pause to build to the moment

gonnera - ................... negative

(meanwhile im thinking bloody hell this is like xfactor when they trying to make it exciting who's going to get kicked off the show, expect its with diseases i dont want arggghh haha - then part of me was thinking its like saying ohh you dont have gonnera but hang on you might have HIV ! )

im sure she was doing it on purpose haha

went thourhg the list one by one, the pauses getting longer and longer

then she saved HIV to last, said HIV, waited a good 10 seconds and said negative , i thought she was having a laugh like but sure did make me regret having to take on them tests haha

i thought why not say ok your negative to everything lol"

nottingham GUM clinic dont give you your results over the phone and only contact you if they need to see you is this not done all over the nhs ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine does the no news is good news now too.

But some are instant tests anyway.

Cali

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