FabSwingers.com forum: Are we asking too much?

By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

[Removed by poster at 23/12/21 23:44:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes....what was the question?

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

You can ask for whatever you want, as long as you're prepared to wait for it. If it sounds demanding, you may never get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to ask first

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By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens

If you asking are there any psychic people on here... then i think its too much to ask... lol..

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

No, you're totally within your rights to look for whatever you want. Whether it comes along is another matter though, and having it as your entire profile bio might be a turn off for a lot of people too

LvM

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Personally if you’re going to have sex with someone I think you ask for whatever you want or need. We may love sex and have sex with lots of people but it’s on our terms. If people don’t like your way then off they trot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

Honestly. As a guy. Yes I can see how a lot of blokes would be put off after reading that.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Although you seem to be asking for a lot more than some you are narrowing things down to a point that the very few that will message you might actually be close to what you are looking for without wading through dozens of messages. As mentioned in an earlier reply, if you are offering something special then you have the right to only offer it to those who you think are worthy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are asking a LOT of boxes to be ticked

It reads quite cold

With the social aspect it sounds a bit like job interview.

Just trying to be constructively critical.

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

Honestly. As a guy. Yes I can see how a lot of blokes would be put off after reading that. "

What is it that would put you off? This is a genuine question, not sarcasm or being arsey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

Honestly. As a guy. Yes I can see how a lot of blokes would be put off after reading that.

What is it that would put you off? This is a genuine question, not sarcasm or being arsey

What I said above. See newer post . But that’s just my opinion. Would be good to hear what others feel also.

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"You are asking a LOT of boxes to be ticked

It reads quite cold

With the social aspect it sounds a bit like job interview.

Just trying to be constructively critical.

You answered as I asked haha.

I shall have a think about how to reword it. The hygiene etc feel like the bare minimum anyone should expect. Verifications are because we've been let down too many times and nice to know people will turn up.

The social is so I can see if I'd be ok with the fucking F. But I appreciate that I maybe need to word that better. Thanks for your input

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Personally if you’re going to have sex with someone I think you ask for whatever you want or need. We may love sex and have sex with lots of people but it’s on our terms. If people don’t like your way then off they trot.

Vx"

Agree that nobody should settle for less. But maybe I'm coming across differently to how I actually am as a person. Face to face is much easier than writing it down. Clubs just aren't an option for us at the moment.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"You are asking a LOT of boxes to be ticked

It reads quite cold

With the social aspect it sounds a bit like job interview.

Just trying to be constructively critical.

You answered as I asked haha.

The social is so I can see if I'd be ok with the fucking F. But I appreciate that I maybe need to word that better. Thanks for your input

It does read quite cold and clinical, and of course each thing on your list will take out a percentage of the available guys but a lot of the things you want should be pretty standard, but I suppose my critique would be the same of many couples profiles, which is that they come across merely as wanting a body, not a person and that it feels all take and no give, there’s nothing really about you in your profile, there’s no sense of who you are, your personalities, so there’s an air of privilege in it that says ‘I’m giving you a chance to fuck me so you need to meet all my standards and all I have to do is turn up and you should be grateful’

I hope that’s not too honest an opinion.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It seems one sided that you get to vet the guy at a social, but he doesn't meet the lady.

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

Looking at your wishlist you may find a handful of guys but as others have said there are similarities with a job vacancy. 1000 people interested but are ruled out by one or more of your conditions which leaves a handful to choose from. Surely though that's better than holding 200 interviews.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said, it reads like a job advert. It’s fine to know what you’re looking for though. Good luck

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By *rangesmartieWoman
over a year ago

Devon

[Removed by poster at 24/12/21 08:45:59]

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By *rangesmartieWoman
over a year ago

Devon

"You are asking a LOT of boxes to be ticked

It reads quite cold

With the social aspect it sounds a bit like job interview.

Just trying to be constructively critical.

You answered as I asked haha.

The social is so I can see if I'd be ok with the fucking F. But I appreciate that I maybe need to word that better. Thanks for your input

You've written a list of requirements. It's quite blunt, and to the point. Good in one way, but doesn't really engender a warm feeling, ie understanding of rasin for requirements or what experience you're trying to create.

You've also said nothing about what you're offering, except to fuck F. Why would anyone want to? Because she's female?

We trash single men a lot for profiles that treat women purely as a sex toy/object.

So maybe something about what you're looking for, and a why (doesn't need to be long). And what is the guy getting out of this arrangement, except what appears to be an impersonal and tightly controlled fuck?

TL:DR: profile is impersonal with little to entice someone in.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You say "can be straight or bi"

"if you say you are bi then this must be reflected in your profile or we simply won't be interested". Yet you are happy for them to be straight ?

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

Hopefully it's better now

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

No I don't think you are OTT at all. Having read your profile, I think it's great There's! There's nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want and sharing that. You've done the sensible thing and let people know exactly what you're looking for, so that you won't waste their time and they won't waste yours.

It's only going to put people off if they know they won't meet your criteria, and surely, that's the desired effect? Stick to your guns, and hold out till you find exactly what you're looking for! Xx

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By *mwirralMan
over a year ago

wirral

Looks fine to me, you want a social 1st which I feel is fair enough

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By *rangesmartieWoman
over a year ago

Devon

"Hopefully it's better now

It is much better! Much more friendly and 'warm'. You've taken comments on board, rather than taking offence. Really nice.yo see OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some 'couples' are actually just a man wanking. He wants to meet the man to chat about fucking his 'wife' for wanking fodder.

Some men will happily go along with this scenario in the hope that he will eventually get a sniff of some pussy.

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"No I don't think you are OTT at all. Having read your profile, I think it's great There's! There's nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want and sharing that. You've done the sensible thing and let people know exactly what you're looking for, so that you won't waste their time and they won't waste yours.

It's only going to put people off if they know they won't meet your criteria, and surely, that's the desired effect? Stick to your guns, and hold out till you find exactly what you're looking for! Xx"

Thanks. Did need re-doing though and thankful for the helpful input from people on here

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Hopefully it's better now

It is much better! Much more friendly and 'warm'. You've taken comments on board, rather than taking offence. Really nice.yo see OP

Hard to offend me

People were being nice and genuinely helpful comments which helped!

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By *ilverfoxcharlieMan
over a year ago

Maidstone

I'd say it doesn't matter what you put there. Some idy will be offended or simply dislike your profile whatever you write. Best thing to do is be yourself, out what you in there, and hopefully the right people will come along.

Admittedly to me it looks like an interview situation and I'd need to dig out the interview suit and bring my CV lol. I would just skip past. But my opinion honestly doesn't matter. There's thousands of people on here and thousands of different opinions.

You can't please everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an interesting thread! I didn't see the original profile. It's still longer than most but the conditions wouldn't scare me off if I was in your age range and living in the area. I met the husband of the couple I've been meeting for the last few years first and didn't take exception to that. I think you are quite right to be precise; people with short profiles who then reject you for reasons not made obvious are a real pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish we could read Minds. Imagine if we could!! Lol

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Beards meets guys for socials before inviting them to ours. Never been a problem. Genuine people will be happy to meet up.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Hopefully it's better now

That reads a lot better! You've still got what you want in there but it's now less of a checklist and more of an insight in to you guys

LvM

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By *ussle SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

"
seems a reasonable search I see no issue with it. Good luck in finding suitable people

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"I'd say it doesn't matter what you put there. Some idy will be offended or simply dislike your profile whatever you write. Best thing to do is be yourself, out what you in there, and hopefully the right people will come along.

You can't please everyone

I'd be pretty impressed with a suit and CV

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"What an interesting thread! I didn't see the original profile. It's still longer than most but the conditions wouldn't scare me off if I was in your age range and living in the area. I met the husband of the couple I've been meeting for the last few years first and didn't take exception to that. I think you are quite right to be precise; people with short profiles who then reject you for reasons not made obvious are a real pain."

Thank you. Good to know there's guys who are happy with our approach.

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Beards meets guys for socials before inviting them to ours. Never been a problem. Genuine people will be happy to meet up. "

This is very true! I wouldn't mind meeting beards

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Hopefully it's better now

That reads a lot better! You've still got what you want in there but it's now less of a checklist and more of an insight in to you guys

LvM"

Tried to take onboard what people said. May not be anymore productive, but I do feel it's a better representation of us

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

seems a reasonable search I see no issue with it. Good luck in finding suitable people "

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a male, I think your profile is quite clear on what your looking for, what you expect and what the boundaries are. I’m a straight male, usually play at clubs, but have met two people outside of this. Not worked out well for me, but hope you find what your looking for.

Don’t think your asking to much at all!

Hygiene is top of the list for me, it’s amazing how many people don’t shower, shave or at least make an effort to look presentable!

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By *ackal1Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Our profile is negative on purpose to cut down the messages.

We’ve done this different ways and both are good and bad. For a blindfold meet obviously you’re not going to meet my wife first as it’s a surprise and as she will be slightly at a disadvantage I prefer a coffee first.

If we are both playing then we sometimes have a social and others we’ve decided we’re going to play on a first meet but have never promised before hand.

What we have found is the guys we’ve had socials first with are usually patient and happy to make it more erotic with a build up. They also tend to be the guys we make friends with and invite back.

These are not hard truths every time and the complete opposite does happen but the trends are there.

Don’t promise or mess people around seems to be the best way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we run our profile how we want we dont really care who likes what on it or not it as it is because its who we are it puts lots of and thats great as only those who get it get in touch ...

never change what you want op and how you want it after all its all about you and those that dont like it ..we you would not want to meet them anyway ....

stay true to yourselfs its the best way on this scene still works for us and we've been at it 28 yrs it our way or no way...

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Our profile is negative on purpose to cut down the messages.

If we are both playing then we sometimes have a social and others we’ve decided we’re going to play on a first meet but have never promised before hand.

What we have found is the guys we’ve had socials first with are usually patient and happy to make it more erotic with a build up. They also tend to be the guys we make friends with and invite back.

These are not hard truths every time and the complete opposite does happen but the trends are there.

Don’t promise or mess people around seems to be the best way. "

Very much hoping it will work out this way for us

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By *lpha-and-Foxtrot OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

"As a male, I think your profile is quite clear on what your looking for, what you expect and what the boundaries are. I’m a straight male, usually play at clubs, but have met two people outside of this. Not worked out well for me, but hope you find what your looking for.

Don’t think your asking to much at all!

Hygiene is top of the list for me, it’s amazing how many people don’t shower, shave or at least make an effort to look presentable!

Under normal circumstances and with a little more free time, clubs would be our preference.

Bad hygiene would be an instant no for us.

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By *iveittoher300Man
over a year ago

Southampton

"You can ask for whatever you want, as long as you're prepared to wait for it. If it sounds demanding, you may never get it. "
I've asked my wife to cuckold me for years and although she enjoys the fantasy she won't make it happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile seems to be making a perfectly reasonable request. I've seen plenty of others being way more prescriptive.

I hope you find exactly what you're after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile seems to be making a perfectly reasonable request. I've seen plenty of others being way more prescriptive.

I hope you find exactly what you're after

This man knows. Look at his days of experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile seems to be making a perfectly reasonable request. I've seen plenty of others being way more prescriptive.

I hope you find exactly what you're after

This man knows. Look at his days of experience. "

¿Qué?

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

"Beards meets guys for socials before inviting them to ours. Never been a problem. Genuine people will be happy to meet up.

This is very true! I wouldn't mind meeting beards

You will have to let me know the name of your local pub

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"Damn touchscreen, must have caught delete!

Just, are we asking for too much in our current search? Only two guys so far are happy to meet for a coffee with me.

Appreciate the helpful viewpoints though

Is the coffee the "vetting process"? I'm afraid you might be asking "too much", depending on the quality of the people who contact you. But, in and of itself, no, you are not asking too much at all. If that makes sense.

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