FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Having to Cancel a Meet.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know there has been a fair amount of conversation about having to cancel a meet & potentially being labelled either a Timewaster or a No Show but we have prided ourselves on being Genuine for all that entails & always try to turn up if we have arranged a meet & cannot make it giving the person plenty of notice that we have to cancel for whatever reason is applicable for the cancellation. My point is this we had arranged a meet and a few hours before the said liason text each other to confirm our attendance etc, but due to a family issue happening shortly after that we then had no alternative but to cancel our meet, only to be accused of a no show. I know people get pissed at cancellations, but they do happen for genuine reasons. As a result of this we have now reaffirmed that our choice of playmates are only ever going to be females or couples from now on. Think this thread is born out of frustration and guess that it is annoying when you are genuine but some people believe that because you have to cancel you automatically become not genuine.

I know forget and move on just bit of a rant really, just interested on peoples take on it all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least you let them know though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes cancelling can't be helped. At least you let them know and didn't just not turn up. Most would understand. We have been lucky and not had to cancel short notice and only had a couple cancel but always a few days before. It's frustrating but people should understand genuine reasons.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only had to cancell once and the guy did understand but have spoken to guys in the past who have had a lot of abuse for canceling last min but if you let them know and they dont understan then mabe you had a lucky escape

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We've had a meet arranged for this weekend for ages with a couple that we've met several times in the past. They've called us today to say they can't make it as they've got bad colds - that's life and it isn't a problem. We've just rearranged, genuine people still have other lives. If someone isn't tolerant about you having to cancel, they aren't going to be nice people! Z

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know there has been a fair amount of conversation about having to cancel a meet & potentially being labelled either a Timewaster or a No Show but we have prided ourselves on being Genuine for all that entails & always try to turn up if we have arranged a meet & cannot make it giving the person plenty of notice that we have to cancel for whatever reason is applicable for the cancellation. My point is this we had arranged a meet and a few hours before the said liason text each other to confirm our attendance etc, but due to a family issue happening shortly after that we then had no alternative but to cancel our meet, only to be accused of a no show. I know people get pissed at cancellations, but they do happen for genuine reasons. As a result of this we have now reaffirmed that our choice of playmates are only ever going to be females or couples from now on. Think this thread is born out of frustration and guess that it is annoying when you are genuine but some people believe that because you have to cancel you automatically become not genuine.

I know forget and move on just bit of a rant really, just interested on peoples take on it all.

"

So, females and couples don't accuse anybody of being a timewaster? I've been accused of timewasting twice and both times it was a couple! (i had valid reasons both times due to having my kids).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know there has been a fair amount of conversation about having to cancel a meet & potentially being labelled either a Timewaster or a No Show but we have prided ourselves on being Genuine for all that entails & always try to turn up if we have arranged a meet & cannot make it giving the person plenty of notice that we have to cancel for whatever reason is applicable for the cancellation. My point is this we had arranged a meet and a few hours before the said liason text each other to confirm our attendance etc, but due to a family issue happening shortly after that we then had no alternative but to cancel our meet, only to be accused of a no show. I know people get pissed at cancellations, but they do happen for genuine reasons. As a result of this we have now reaffirmed that our choice of playmates are only ever going to be females or couples from now on. Think this thread is born out of frustration and guess that it is annoying when you are genuine but some people believe that because you have to cancel you automatically become not genuine.

I know forget and move on just bit of a rant really, just interested on peoples take on it all.

"

I don't see how this has reaffirmed your choice of playmates as being ladies and couples?!?!

I've had to cancel (and being a single guy that really was painful!) and been cancelled on but that really is life!

I think this 'timewaster' label gets banded about too much, if someone strings you along to the point where your sat there done up to the nines awaiting an arrival and nothing happens then, in my opinion, that's a time waster!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're a couple with family then we would always realise there is a chance of family issues causing a cancellation. It's just more likely at last minute with kids.

We had one single guy we met twice before with another 20 verifications who texted us at our hotel 45 mins before a meet to say 'lost my bottle'. Not technically a timewaster but certainly a waste of time (and money)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We are not purposely labelling single males as being anything untoward etc re our now choice of playmates, it is just that we have had many occasions where we were speaking to single males with a view to arranging a possible meet with them but for one reason or another decided that they were not for us, prior to arranging anything but the usual reply is simply one of timewaster.

We always work on the basis that having fun is never a given, just because you agree to meet with someone. I know that single males do get a bad rep and not always deserved and there are a fair few good decent fabsters, but feel that the swinging ethos, or ideal may well becoming hazy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit happens, folk should understand that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will let you into a little secret we all have lives outside of fabs and sometimes that life gets in the way of fun does not make us timewasters it just makes us human x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *avernakeMan
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

I guess everyone has different ideas of what constitutes a time waster.

Single guys generally get fewer meets than others, so maybe this explains why some take it badly if the meet fails to materialise?

I think most of us realise that 'shit happens', you put it down to bad luck and move on.

Don't give up on all of us single guys though! We don't all fly off the handle if we don't get a shag!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with shazza,

I think its that people get really disappointed when a meet is cancelled especially when its at short notice and so they may overreact.

Its not right to vent your frustration and call people 'timewasters' when they have genuine reasons for cancelling.

I see it as people spitting their dummies out!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think confirming attendance and then having to cancel is what caused the problem. That does give he impression of messing someone about.

Of course things come up sometimes and you have to cancel.

I dont know what he reaction was I would.have been pissed off in that situation but thats life I would just accept it. But.not everyone is as cool as me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton


"I think confirming attendance and then having to cancel is what caused the problem. That does give he impression of messing someone about.

Of course things come up sometimes and you have to cancel.

I dont know what he reaction was I would.have been pissed off in that situation but thats life I would just accept it. But.not everyone is as cool as me

"

These things happen. One guy met me with a stinking cold. I made it clear that I didn't want to catch it and he explained that he'd wanted to cancel but didn't for fear of being labelled as a time-waster. I can usually tell if it's gen or not. It's when it's about half an hour before the arranged time - by text - that they tell you they've got a flat tyre. Hmmmm born yesterday was I? x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think confirming attendance and then having to cancel is what caused the problem. That does give he impression of messing someone about.

Of course things come up sometimes and you have to cancel.

I dont know what he reaction was I would.have been pissed off in that situation but thats life I would just accept it. But.not everyone is as cool as me

These things happen. One guy met me with a stinking cold. I made it clear that I didn't want to catch it and he explained that he'd wanted to cancel but didn't for fear of being labelled as a time-waster. I can usually tell if it's gen or not. It's when it's about half an hour before the arranged time - by text - that they tell you they've got a flat tyre. Hmmmm born yesterday was I? x "

Dodgy excuses are the worst just be honest x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Replace the profile title 'couple M/F' with 'Man' and see the responses change

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Replace the profile title 'couple M/F' with 'Man' and see the responses change"

Whether genuine or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I had a threesome planned tonight and had to cancel. Fortunately the two guys are good friends and know that I'm genuinely indisposed not messing them about.

But it's been planned for a week and canceling when I did (around 4 this afternoon) could really have left someone in the lurch who thought their Friday night was sorted.

So I can understand why the word timewaster gets thrown, but really a timewaster is someone who arranges things with no intention of showing. I've been left waiting. And I've had people cancel on me.

This is why the first meet is for coffee - only half an hour our of my day, no special dressing up or primping, and if he doesn't show I carry on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So whats the general feeing you got one shot or 3 strikes and your out?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So whats the general feeing you got one shot or 3 strikes and your out?

"

I do give guys the opportunity to meet again but I think one can tell if they don't or didn't want to meet in the first place by the fact that they then don't come back asking for another meet, or chat again and I have had a few like that, no big deal, plenty more fish in the sea

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will let you into a little secret we all have lives outside of fabs and sometimes that life gets in the way of fun does not make us timewasters it just makes us human x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time we had to cancel was when helens mum died. Lucky for us they understood ( we hope ). had to cancel meeting up with some fun friends this week too, as the eldest daughter woke up on the morning ill, so we couldnt expect her to baby sit that night.

it happens, somethings things stop play at the last moment and people need to understand that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton


"The only time we had to cancel was when helens mum died. Lucky for us they understood ( we hope ). had to cancel meeting up with some fun friends this week too, as the eldest daughter woke up on the morning ill, so we couldnt expect her to baby sit that night.

it happens, somethings things stop play at the last moment and people need to understand that."

Of course they do. This is fun and that's all ( IMHO) but peeps must realise that real life can get in the way. I wouldn't think twice about cancelling for a gen reason. And I would give anyone who cancels me the benefit of the doubt usually. I can't stand people on here who get arsy when things don't go their way. Real life always comes first in my book.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people on here take it all to serious, they think meeting is the be all and end all of life, are far to easy to label anyone who put there own life first etc

I have only ever had to cancel a meet once, mainly because i only meet when my daughters at her dad and being her dad he has her ever weekend and never lets me down, however one weekend i had a meet arranged for the friday night and just before my daughter dad was due she had a accident on the back yard and i had to take her to hospital, on the way i called her dad to tell him to meet me at the hospital and called the guy to tell tell him what had happened and could we rearrange, the abuse i got from him was unreal so i hung up on him only to be presented with lots of nasty text messages and a long moaning message on here next time i logged on

He actually asked me what hospital i was going to so he could come and see if i was telling the truth and when i said no to him he said that proved i was lying as if i had nothing to hide i wouldnt mind him coming

to be honest i was glad i didnt meet him as he reaction proved to me he wasnt the sort of person i wanted to meet anyway, amazing how nice some people can be when they after a fuck then their real self comes out when things go wrong for them

Surely people on here must realise things happen and we cant alway stick to plans we make, we cant always do that in every day life so why are we expected to on here?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheeky fucker springs to mind

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had this conversation at a party last night, some couples cancelled but instead of just being honest and saying that they had decided not to come because the weather was bad, or that they'd just had a change of plan, the host got excuses like they couldn't make it because their uncle's friend's chicken had come down with a mystery illness. If they were just honest about it then they would have been far more respected and probably invited to future events, the bullshit just puts them on automatic bulkshitters list so have no chance of future invites.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had this conversation at a party last night, some couples cancelled but instead of just being honest and saying that they had decided not to come because the weather was bad, or that they'd just had a change of plan, the host got excuses like they couldn't make it because their uncle's friend's chicken had come down with a mystery illness. If they were just honest about it then they would have been far more respected and probably invited to future events, the bullshit just puts them on automatic bulkshitters list so have no chance of future invites."

Did the chicken recover from the mystery illness, or was it a case of the breadcrumbs?

Wolf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So whats the general feeing you got one shot or 3 strikes and your out?

"

Depends...someone actually letting me know they are cancelling will get a second chance...maybe a third if we've been getting on via text etc. If they just don't turn up then I wouldn't bother arranging another meet as they couldn't be bothered to send a text to just say something had come up.

The latter to me is a timewaster, and just plain rude as you could do something else instead of getting all scrubbed up just to sit and watch TV! Someone who has to cancel and just lets you know means that shaving your legs doesn't have to be wasted!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *--Cinders---Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

with having a disabled hubby i have had to cancel meets a couple of times, i always let the guys know and they have been great about it and have arranged another day/time..a timewaster to me is someone who doesnt show or let u know anything

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pulling sickies from work I find the runs is the best excuse nobody wants to talk about it. Anyone heard that on here?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had this conversation at a party last night, some couples cancelled but instead of just being honest and saying that they had decided not to come because the weather was bad, or that they'd just had a change of plan, the host got excuses like they couldn't make it because their uncle's friend's chicken had come down with a mystery illness. If they were just honest about it then they would have been far more respected and probably invited to future events, the bullshit just puts them on automatic bulkshitters list so have no chance of future invites.

Did the chicken recover from the mystery illness, or was it a case of the breadcrumbs?

Wolf

"

Think it ended up in the great bargain bucket in the sky

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Think it ended up in the great bargain bucket in the sky "

Wolf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top