FabSwingers.com forum: Long messages

By *enuinetownlad OP Man
over a year ago

chesterfield

Do people who expect longer messages not understand that it takes time to think about and type spell check etc, and theres no guarantee of hetting a reply, that's why one liners are used at first I think, anyone else have an opinion about the length of preliminary messaging, how long etc...???

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By *enuinetownlad OP Man
over a year ago

chesterfield

#getting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as it catches my interest Im not bothered how long it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as it catches my interest Im not bothered how long it is

Words that every man longs to hear

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By *avrolaMan
over a year ago

MIDDLESBROUGH

I totally agree the amount of thought that ive put into message making them intresting and of a decent length and then to sometimes not even get a no thanks is quite annoying

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By *enuinetownlad OP Man
over a year ago

chesterfield

Same here, if someone's profile says no one liners then ill make an effort, but then to get no reply is really annoying, if they don't like what I've said or the look of etc, then a simple no thanks will do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good Lord, I've about posted to death on this topic, and the related topics to this. At the end of the day there are a number of conflicting core arguments here:

a) You should expect nothing from this site because thats all you're entitled to

b) The law of diminishing returns drives up the instances of dysfunctional behaviour

c) What makes you think your special and stand out from the crowd?

d) If I take the time and effort to write a good message, its rude not to reply in some form, even if its a no thanks.

Pick an option. Because you're never going to get everyone to agree on it. Each one has its advantages and disadvantages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as it catches my interest Im not bothered how long it is

It needs to be a certain length to catch my interest!

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By *ikkiBWoman
over a year ago

Falkirk

I once famously had a guy who basically wrote out a whole novel at me trying to make the next 50 shades of grey. I politely replied and said I didnt read it because I had another 20 odd messages to go through and the guy flipped at me saying hes wasted 30mins of his life etc

I like somewhere in the middle of one liners and long. Something that tells me a bit about them, if they take a different approach. There isnt a handbook, I just like what I like.

I can say that "hows you" will never EVER work lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

long messages to us are a bit of a turn off tbh, cant be bothered to read them as a first message, after chatting then fine, but not at first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as it catches my interest Im not bothered how long it is

It needs to be a certain length to catch my interest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a typical male I always think the messages I send are longer than what they really are...by a few inches usually

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By *eavy Metal BallzMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Initial messages should be like a lady's skirt, Short enough to keep you interested but long enough to cover everything!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We prefer messages that are not one liners, definitely means the person has taken their time to write the message.

However we do not like dissertations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt write a long first but as part of a conversation yes. Longer messages get a lengthy response unless its in text speak.

Then I go into twitter mode.

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By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

We hate one liners, ok we do not want your full history but a little more than "hi fancy a shag"

To us if the person/persons cannot be bothered to write a little bit about them selves/what they want then they get binned asap.

The ratio of guys to couples, women, is significant enough that you need to make yourself stand out from the crowd and make it worth our while to answer you with the hope of a meet.

Look at it this way. would you walk up to a couple/ single person in a club and just expect to give a one liner over then straight to the bedroom, I doubt it so why with emails???

Just our 2 cents

PnJ

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I sort of sigh when I get a really long message,I think why have you taken that much time when I bet half the time it gets ignored

I much prefer a shorter one from a decent looking profile,its the profile that usually grabs my attention and not the message

And one liners? ive had some cracking ones that have led to lots of fun so I don't discount those either as its the content thats important and not the length

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We hate one liners, ok we do not want your full history but a little more than "hi fancy a shag"

To us if the person/persons cannot be bothered to write a little bit about them selves/what they want then they get binned asap.

The ratio of guys to couples, women, is significant enough that you need to make yourself stand out from the crowd and make it worth our while to answer you with the hope of a meet.

Look at it this way. would you walk up to a couple/ single person in a club and just expect to give a one liner over then straight to the bedroom, I doubt it so why with emails???

Just our 2 cents

PnJ

I just wanted to highlight this 'if you were in a club' scenario as it seems to crop up often...if I approached a single lady in a club and went up to her and said hi would she just totally ignore me?!?!

I'd like to have thought not, even if it is is only to say 'thanks but no thanks'!

The reason behind this OP is obviously the lack of a response, bit of a fine line to tread and a minefield to boot!

My take on it is this...as a single guy on here you have to know how the game is played! Expect nothing (not even a reply, and I was initially also one of htese guys who liked to tailor a decent message only to get nothing back), be polite and courteous and anything that comes of it is a bonus!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I've had several messages today I've deleted without reading because they were from men outside London. As I don't do hotel meets ever why waste time contacting me?

One was from Edinburgh, I just had to look at the profile...bi, short, can't accommodate stays in hotels...now I ask you, the opposite of what I'm looking for so why?!!

I bet you though he thinks I'm rude for not replying to his message!

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I used to write longer messages than I do now. Guess you could say I was naive when I first joined the site.

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

"Do people who expect longer messages not understand that it takes time to think about and type spell check etc, and theres no guarantee of hetting a reply, that's why one liners are used at first I think, anyone else have an opinion about the length of preliminary messaging, how long etc...???"

I reckon that guys must feel dejected when they've written a long message which they've thought about, then get nothing back. On the other hand, a one-liner! That just doesn't cut the mustard. At least two lines and a mention about something I've said on my profile - that might get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there must be an ideal length for a message though - a bit like the ideal length of text on a CV, not too little that it doesn't engage, and not too much that it goes into a magnum opus.

Wolf

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

5 mins ago I received : "Hi . ."

I suppose the only response to that would be "Hi yourself" ??

I rest my case.

Jane x

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By *issy NickersWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

You have to say something unusual or interesting to catch my imagination. Not wanna chat? I got a great meet last weekend because he took the piss out of my profile and we had a hot time!

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I think there must be an ideal length for a message though - a bit like the ideal length of text on a CV, not too little that it doesn't engage, and not too much that it goes into a magnum opus.

Wolf

Some guys really do write their life stories. It's flattering in a way but it just takes too long to read, then to have to deal with it. Too much too soon.....

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The really long, clearly cut and paste, novella messages are as bad as the 'hi hun fancy a shag'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree, the hi, hi fancy a fuck, hi fancy a chat or other variations do nothing for us neither do the copy and paste messages, the message doesnt have to be long but just enough to show that you have read our profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a long nor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a long nor

"
oops one

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