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Any women enjoy being restrained

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all. I really enjoy rope and restraint play especially with single women. My question is how do you really know how far too far is. My previous meet was very sexy using ropes blindfolds and a gag but apart from reading body signs how can one distinguish when more or less is really wanted. The lady after told me to go much further if I wanted but you never know if its too much. Guess I'm looking for female subs opinions. Many thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a safe word. My wife is fine with guys really pushing her, but if she can't cope anymore she says a safe word agreed before hand. Then back off or stop.

We have the same arrangement.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh we had that but with gags and strange positions words were sort of out of the equation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Oh we had that but with gags and strange positions words were sort of out of the equation. "

Get the restrained person to hold something that makes a noise if you drop it to signal they've had enough. Also make sure you know about not restricting blood flow, be aware that numbness should NEVER be ignored and always, always discuss boundaries before and never push without clear, unambiguous consent

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also check in verbally frequently

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's a good one. Never thought of her holding something.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"That's a good one. Never thought of her holding something. "

Have you ever read anything like Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns?

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Non verbal signals are something I'd suggest

Obviously all scenes should be negotiated beforehand with limits agreed

Regular check ins are important, including non verbal ones such as squeezing their hand looking for a response

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Better to leave them wanting more than regretting too much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Better to leave them wanting more than regretting too much. "

This is how I've always seen it but been told to step up a gear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No I haven't. I'll look it up thanks.

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By *he MedwaysCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Have a safe word. My wife is fine with guys really pushing her, but if she can't cope anymore she says a safe word agreed before hand. Then back off or stop.

We have the same arrangement."

Agreed. Safe words are the only way. And I’m sure if they want you to go further they will tell you that also. Can even use a safe word there like Green for go for example.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"That's a good one. Never thought of her holding something.

Have you ever read anything like Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns?"

Second the book recommendation.

It's the Dom's responsibility to care for the sub. You should sit down and discuss everything beforehand, especially signals for slow down or stop. They could be verbal, or physical (three taps)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"That's a good one. Never thought of her holding something.

Have you ever read anything like Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns?

Second the book recommendation.

It's the Dom's responsibility to care for the sub. You should sit down and discuss everything beforehand, especially signals for slow down or stop. They could be verbal, or physical (three taps)"

I would say it's the subs responsibility just as much. You simply can't expect someone else to know what's going on in your mind

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

It would be easy to say that as the Top or Dominant role you should already be aware of this before you start playing with someone, especially with items that could lead to temporary or permanent health implications.

However, to answer your question I find the best way to discover a person’s limits is a healthy combination of communication and play time.

I never play as intense as I could on a first meeting because what someone says and can take can be vastly different. Also if you start off at full speed you have no where left to grow.

Talk to them after the scene to find out m what they liked, how they felt and how they felt the scene went. Do they think it was too much, just right or do they want you to turn it up a notch.

Understand their limits, understand what they want to get out of it, understand what you will do in a crisis situation and also make sure they understand these things as well.

Look into RACK, PRICK and in some cases SSC.

Non verbal signals are vital if you are using gags and/or restraints or are looking to put some space between you and someone you have tied.

They need some way to signal you. Tapping their hand or foot. Dropping a hand held item. Using a battery operated door bell. What ever you agree on you need to make sure you are looking out for it. No point them dropping a ball if you aren't paying attention to it.

Check in with them, get them to squeeze your hand, nod, see how their body responds to your touch, (if they are out of it their lack of response will be noticeable). Their body can also help you understand if you can push them, but it takes time to learn how different people respond. Some are very outward going, loud, while others can clam up and look like they have had enough but actually are enjoying themselves and want more.

Be aware of circulation issues, body parts being discoloured, going cold etc.

Make sure you play in well lit areas so you can see them and any changes to their body, and have the necessary kit to deal with any issues that arise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A gag does complicate things, I probably wouldn't allow that.

Those of us that like CNC want guys to do anything they want without asking, and really push our limits. The consent is given when agreeing to meet and implicit.

As we said before there just needs to be a safe word to be able to back out if things get too much, which must be respected! xx

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