FabSwingers.com forum: What’s the view on single men going to a club alone?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Loads of single Men go on their own, fair play to them because it must take some balls! Just be aware some get lucky, some go home disappointed. Only one way to find out!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands

Ive done it a few times and its fine. Just dont go with the assumption of any play. Talk to folk, be polite, watch if its the right situation and you may just get invited to join someone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im same as you.

Would love to go for the experience but aint got it in me to go alone.

Club Ssssh at Newcastle is only an hour away for me so it would be there .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m not going in the hope of fun it’s more of the experience and getting to meet new people

Just don’t want to look like a clown in the corner on my own like a bell end lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otwifeandcuckCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

If single men didn't turn up how would hotwifes etc get thier fill?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Could be worse, going to a club as a single guy then putting on a dress.

You’ll be fine, plenty of single guys in clubs and if they’re polite and friendly they’ll generally have a good night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If single men didn't turn up how would hotwifes etc get thier fill? "

Fair

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Could be worse, going to a club as a single guy then putting on a dress.

You’ll be fine, plenty of single guys in clubs and if they’re polite and friendly they’ll generally have a good night.

I would ruin a good dress lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same, didn't know what to expect or do.. So I just went.

Sat on a sofa by the bar and chatted the night away with no playing (still haven't properly played) but it was a great atmosphere and I'll probably do it again...

Get down there with no expectations and you'll have a blast

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We enjoy meeting single guys at club , as long as they behave and are not pushy , we often invite them to watch , touch and even join in if wife fancies them , give it a go , no different to walking into normal club apart from women really dressed for fun ,even we as couple were nervous until we got inside the door , never regretted it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onkatimMan
over a year ago

bristol

to OP ,

i always go to clubs on my own, and as someone has said some get lucky some dont, i always go with the mindset of im going to meet new people and hopefully some old friends and have a good night chatting having a few drinks, maybe some flirting and who knows some fun, but if i dont get any fun i come away knowing i have had a good night . i know and understand approach new people in clubs can be scary but trust me some couples in there are just as scared as you are .. a simple hello how are to both doing / hows your night going wont offend or upset any one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "

Why do you think it’s odd……. I think honestly if you go in with that mindset, you have got the whole club scene wrong …

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

"Ive done it a few times and its fine. Just dont go with the assumption of any play. Talk to folk, be polite, watch if its the right situation and you may just get invited to join someone. "

I will also add that you should make sure you get at least one Veri when you visit. The more veris that state you are a well mannered and polite person will make your profile done a a little bit more and will up your odds for a meet.

Work the room. Don't stand in the corner like a gawping wallflower.

Couples and regulars can be a bit wary sometimes. If they know who you are from regular visits and the odd Veri, your chances of playing goes up. Play the long game and you will get to play.

If you get to play on your first visit cos you're a polite gentleman then BONUS! If not, be patient it'll come. But whatever you do, don't join Team of the Wanking Dead. It'll piss the women off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 11/11/21 13:32:15]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sweet all sounds good I might pull my finger out one day lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

"Ive done it a few times and its fine. Just dont go with the assumption of any play. Talk to folk, be polite, watch if its the right situation and you may just get invited to join someone.

Work the room. Don't stand in the corner like a gawping wallflower.

Couples and regulars can be a bit wary sometimes. If they know who you are from regular visits and the odd Veri, your chances of playing goes up. Play the long game and you will get to play.

If you get to play on your first visit cos you're a polite gentleman then BONUS! If not, be patient it'll come. But whatever you do, don't join Team of the Wanking Dead. It'll piss the women off."

Done= Shine

Bloody autocorrect

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive done it a few times and its fine. Just dont go with the assumption of any play. Talk to folk, be polite, watch if its the right situation and you may just get invited to join someone.

Work the room. Don't stand in the corner like a gawping wallflower.

Couples and regulars can be a bit wary sometimes. If they know who you are from regular visits and the odd Veri, your chances of playing goes up. Play the long game and you will get to play.

If you get to play on your first visit cos you're a polite gentleman then BONUS! If not, be patient it'll come. But whatever you do, don't join Team of the Wanking Dead. It'll piss the women off.

Done= Shine

Bloody autocorrect

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ussex61Man
over a year ago

Chichester

I have always gone to clubs as a single guy. I can only reinforce what others have said - go with an open mind, don't be an asshole, don't stalk people, do strike up conversations and show you are a sensible human being. A night at a 'lifestyle' club is generally still good value, so enjoy yourself. Become a regular, and as people get to know you then good things will happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have always gone to clubs as a single guy. I can only reinforce what others have said - go with an open mind, don't be an asshole, don't stalk people, do strike up conversations and show you are a sensible human being. A night at a 'lifestyle' club is generally still good value, so enjoy yourself. Become a regular, and as people get to know you then good things will happen."

Thanks this is all good Advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he LsCouple
over a year ago

East Midlands

Most clubs have fab accounts so look them up and drop them a message, to see what events they recommend you try.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most clubs have fab accounts so look them up and drop them a message, to see what events they recommend you try.

Thanks for that xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"If single men didn't turn up how would hotwifes etc get thier fill? "

It’s not just hot wives

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If single men didn't turn up how would hotwifes etc get thier fill?

It’s not just hot wives "

Fair

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Go to the club the same as you would the pub - theres no expectations of playing in a pub and you mingle and chat to people - treat it the same and see what happens. If you’re polite and respectful its very unlikely you will go wrong. Talk about ‘normal’ stuff I chatted to a couple who ran a wine shop about them and wine and what made them decide that swinging was something for them and how they had found it etc etc once the ice is broken the conversation normally just flows. Hope this helps because it is difficult but by not being pushy and arrogant you already give yourself a much better chance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Could be worse, going to a club as a single guy then putting on a dress.

You’ll be fine, plenty of single guys in clubs and if they’re polite and friendly they’ll generally have a good night.

I would ruin a good dress lol "

That’s the spirit, act like that in a club and you’ll be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

"Go to the club the same as you would the pub - theres no expectations of playing in a pub and you mingle and chat to people - treat it the same and see what happens. If you’re polite and respectful its very unlikely you will go wrong. Talk about ‘normal’ stuff I chatted to a couple who ran a wine shop about them and wine and what made them decide that swinging was something for them and how they had found it etc etc once the ice is broken the conversation normally just flows. Hope this helps because it is difficult but by not being pushy and arrogant you already give yourself a much better chance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *panddaCouple
over a year ago

West Mids

"Ive done it a few times and its fine. Just dont go with the assumption of any play. Talk to folk, be polite, watch if its the right situation and you may just get invited to join someone. "

Just this.

Single men are welcomed in clubs as long as the behave as they should.

Manners and respect go a long way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

If you look for a good time first before sex as there is nothing worse than a sex-mad guy trying to hard..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

With respect OP, I never understand why some men simply don't go because they are too scared.

If you can go to a pub/bar/club and chat to people, have a drink and a laugh then you can go to a swingers club. It's not layers of naked bodies shagging all over the place as far as the eye can see.

Loads of women go on their own, I do and unless I'm going with another single friend, I prefer to go alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We wouldn't enjoy clubs half as much if it wasn't for single men. I can often be found playing with one, or two or three! Just don't pester, be polite and take no as an answer not an insult and you will have a great time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"We wouldn't enjoy clubs half as much if it wasn't for single men. I can often be found playing with one, or two or three! Just don't pester, be polite and take no as an answer not an insult and you will have a great time. "
this

in other news - she’s a bit lovely isn’t she?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope "

I thought that - i thought everyone will know everyone else and when i walk in even the music will stop and the place will fall silent while 50 pairs of eyes fix on me because im a stranger!! In reality I walked in - no one bothered - i went to the bar for a drink then chatted to a lady at the bar who was waiting to get served - said it was my first time in a club and its a bit nervewracking not knowing what to expect and not really knowing anyone - she invited me to join her and her hubby for a chat and that was that - probably very lucky but if you don’t try you’ll always wonder what if or i wish i had.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Im same as you.

Would love to go for the experience but aint got it in me to go alone.

Club Ssssh at Newcastle is only an hour away for me so it would be there ."

There's also Club f in Stanley, County Durham. I've been there several times by myself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope "

Pick a pub in town you've never been to, and go by yourself one night. Visiting a swingers' club is no different in real terms! You're more likely to be underwhelmed and wonder what all the fuss is about when you do go, but you could also be pleasantly surprised! It all depends on WHO is in when you are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope

There is hope, cheers mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope

Very true, thanks mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iveshowcouple2Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

We like seeing/meeting single guys in a club.

However their chances of enjoying some actual hands on action are slim to be honest.

If they understand that, at the outset then everything is good. Unfortunately we have seen too many examples where single guys pay their entrance fee then drink too much and damn well expect to get a fuck before the end of the evening!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Kent

I thought that - i thought everyone will know everyone else and when i walk in even the music will stop and the place will fall silent while 50 pairs of eyes fix on me because im a stranger!!

And you can hear someone’s nose whistling as tumble rolls in the breeze across the room. Sounds like our local pub!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope "

Here is the thing…….

You are an adult…..

You are an adult on a swinging site…..

You are an adult on a swinging site looking for sex in some shape….

Do you fret walking into doors

Do you fret walking into doors of a shop …..

Do you fret walking into doors of a shop, a pub or nightclub…..

So…… what’s the different mindsets???

Please don’t say it’s fear of the unknown… has it ever stopped you walking into a new pub or nightclub

Not picking on you, honestly…. But I would suggest it’s a mindset and expectations issue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im going to go this summer time to Shhh at Newcastle.

I was born there and moved to Carlisle years ago so although not been to the club i obviously know the area.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"I’ve got no bottle to go on my own yet! One day I hope

Here is the thing…….

You are an adult…..

You are an adult on a swinging site…..

You are an adult on a swinging site looking for sex in some shape….

Do you fret walking into doors

Do you fret walking into doors of a shop …..

Do you fret walking into doors of a shop, a pub or nightclub…..

So…… what’s the different mindsets???

Please don’t say it’s fear of the unknown… has it ever stopped you walking into a new pub or nightclub

Not picking on you, honestly…. But I would suggest it’s a mindset and expectations issue "

I hear what you’re saying however some peoples circumstances has changed during covid which mine has. Hence why I am quite nervous

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go for it and have fun, since it's not as uncommon as you maybe thinking. I used to always go solo until of recent; thanks to a friend introducing me to new venues. Lots of single guys visit incl. the married without their better halves.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right so all I need to do now is find a club lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I only play with single men in clubs. Loads of single men club on their own. It’s normal

Sort your ticket/ name on the guest list and crack on!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "

My thoughts are be they male or female if they want to go to a swingers club they should go and they should go alone. If they have not got the nerve to go to a club on their own they are probably too timid to talk to people and therefore not the sort of person others would want to meet in the first place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for it and have a good time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Christmas would be a great time to go, the clubs usually have a great atmosphere, added to this a party vibe.

We don’t often play with single men, but it has been known.

Just don’t go with entitlement in your mind and have fun, because 99% of the time they are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm thinking of going Cupids on Monday. Dont wanna look like a weirdo tho or a wanker ha ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'm thinking of going Cupids on Monday. Dont wanna look like a weirdo tho or a wanker ha ha"

Don't behave like one and you won't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to ha ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I try not to ha ha"

Try not to? Is behaving like a wierdo and a wanker normal for you then?

Top Topsy Tip. Hit the 'quote+reply' it makes it easier to see who you are replying to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubster2016Man
over a year ago

I’d never been to a club and am new to all of this

But I went to a club on my own with the thought I’d go see what it was about, No expectations of any play just chat and meet people.

I met and chatted to people at the bar explained it was my first time and most gave pointers and welcomed me. I was lucky to meet a couple who’s wife was a newbie we hit it off and the night went well.

Don’t be cocky, don’t be disrespectful, have no expectations. Treat it like going down the pub for a beer and a chat and you’ll be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edheadsruleCouple
over a year ago

lancashire

A club with a good host will make introductions , and try not to leave anyone sat alone, of course there will always be the odd single that chooses not to engage in conversation and just wanders round play rooms but if you want to make it a good night( still no play guaranteed of course) engage in conversation, even if it's with other single guys, that's how you make friends!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Personally I couldn’t in a large club and I’ve always gone with someone. I’ve spoken to single guys at some clubs, I think I’m a small friendly club and if you know the staff and hang at the bar it’s easier to talk to people. But the hordes of single guys following people around in large clubs feels a bit sad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit, always wanted to go to a club and experience the atmosphere but always had the fear of being that annoying single guy... I would obviously love to play but just always wondered how many couples or women would actually do some approaching xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oreveryoungkWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "

I totally get what you say, I'd never go as a single woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to a club as a couple and a single gent are two different worlds!

As a couple, people are friendlier towards you.

As a single gent, it takes harder work to engage in conversations and so on, but, don't let that put you off. A friendly, hello and polite conversation in passing can work wonders.

Not all single men behave appropriately, the few ruin it for the many. Then again, so do some couples.

Be kind, be courteous and go with an open and free mind and see how your visit goes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eservesherCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We've never been to a club but if we do end up going to one we'd be looking for single men so hopefully there'll be plenty there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

As a single woman, I’ve been and I go alone, I go mainly for single guys too. I think there’s a lot of misconceptions about going to a club. Just think of it as a liberated pub. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've never been to a club but if we do end up going to one we'd be looking for single men so hopefully there'll be plenty there

Chameleons in Darlaston would be ideal for you both.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eservesherCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"We've never been to a club but if we do end up going to one we'd be looking for single men so hopefully there'll be plenty there

Chameleons in Darlaston would be ideal for you both."

Yeah we did look at that one and Xtasia as they're local. Torture Gardens is the one we want to go to the most though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've never been to a club but if we do end up going to one we'd be looking for single men so hopefully there'll be plenty there

Chameleons in Darlaston would be ideal for you both.

Yeah we did look at that one and Xtasia as they're local. Torture Gardens is the one we want to go to the most though."

Do it.

You'll enjoy yourselves.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Been to clubs as a single guy and as a couple with a friend. Have had a good time in both scenarios

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can imagine id end up say at the bar with the other single lads talking about the football. Can do that at my local tbf. Its all id be comfortable doing!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "
. I am a single guy and the first time I went to a club I was a little apprehensive.I treated as a night out to a pub or club and I went with the attitude no expectations no disappointments.Once I entered the club and was given a tour of the club I relaxed and had a good night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If single guys didn't go to clubs, then I wouldn't go, and the same with the majority of my friends.

I go by myself and I don't feel it's awkward. Just get yourself there and have a new experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"If single guys didn't go to clubs, then I wouldn't go, and the same with the majority of my friends.

I go by myself and I don't feel it's awkward. Just get yourself there and have a new experience."

Sounds like there are more single ladies attending clubs in the South......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just trying to be a bit funny already got me pegged as a weirdo. Must be me

"I try not to ha ha

Try not to? Is behaving like a wierdo and a wanker normal for you then?

Top Topsy Tip. Hit the 'quote+reply' it makes it easier to see who you are replying to."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "

I think you’ll be absolutely fine. We’d be more than happy for you to come and chat to us. Chameleons tomorrow night

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

You are just as much part of the scene as anyone else. I doubt clubs (or at least the amount of clubs we have) would exist without singe guys. There are many couples looking for single guys but I think we often over look and mustn't forget the many single women who go to clubs seeking single guys. I (Mr) started in clubs as a single guy. It was a big move for me the first time I went. But it went very well and didn't look back. So go, see. Just bear in mind that good selection of club/night can really help the success of a night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "

I first tried a club on my own 5 years ago. It was small, discrete and the owners made me feel very welcome and set my mind at rest. I think it is a great way to socialise with like-minded people where you can pretty much talk about what you like and if you dress smartly, are clean, fresh, smell nice and have zero expectations of playing, you'll be fine. Oh, and don't get plastered; it's a total turn off for many people. A bit of Dutch courage is fine to alleviate any nerves, but it really isn't attractive to be around people who are mullered.

Be yourself, relax, talk to people in a non-pushy way and be honest about it being your first time; most will respect you for your honesty and you may be in luck (like I was with a couple within the first hour and a half and a hot wife twice later). Be polite, respectful and rubber up.

I was pooping myself the first time I went to a club, but once you've got over that anxiety, it feels great and there is certainly a need for single guys at clubs. You will find that single gents aren't permitted on certain nights, which can be annoying, but by the same token, you don't want to pitch up somewhere for it to be like a football match crowd (unless you're bi).

I've been to Swingfields Festival, VA Festival of Fun and even ventured out to Jamaica-Hedonism II; all on my own,sober and had a great time.

The club scene enables you to network, which is invaluable for securing meets on here, as the ratio of men to women/couples on here is crazy.

Relax, have a laugh, be respectful and you'll give off a good vibe so people are more likely to engage with you.

Don't be a prowler or too pushy. It smacks of desperation and people can feel intimidated by it; like women do in cattle market type vanilla night clubs.

Oh, and wear decent underwear; people aren't going to find big off-white y-fronts (like Rik Mayall wore in Bottom) particularly attractive.

If you smoke, get yourself mixing in the smoking area; people are generally uncomfortable with silence and will often break it to strike up conversation. Although be mindful that many folk don't like to taste a chimney!

Never, ever, touch without permission. Permission can be obtained by simply saying "May I?" or "What are you looking for tonight?" or "Would you like to play?"

Some couples can be particularly standoffish with single guys if they have gone to a club wanting to play with other couples. This isn't a personal attack, but they can be quite frosty (especially the husbands/boyfriends) if they perceive you as a threat.

If you don't get to play, just accept it and enjoy the naughty ambiance and voyeuristic pleasures of watching people getting down to it.

Hope this helps.

Happy clubbing!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts

I've been to Swingfields Festival, VA Festival of Fun and even ventured out to Jamaica-Hedonism II; all on my own,sober and had a great time.

The club scene enables you to network, which is invaluable for securing meets on here, as the ratio of men to women/couples on here is crazy.

Relax, have a laugh, be respectful and you'll give off a good vibe so people are more likely to engage with you.

Don't be a prowler or too pushy. It smacks of desperation and people can feel intimidated by it; like women do in cattle market type vanilla night clubs.

Oh, and wear decent underwear; people aren't going to find big off-white y-fronts (like Rik Mayall wore in Bottom) particularly attractive.

Never, ever, touch without permission. Permission can be obtained by simply saying "May I?" or "What are you looking for tonight?" or "Would you like to play?"

If you don't get to play, just accept it and enjoy the naughty ambiance and voyeuristic pleasures of watching people getting down to it.

Hope this helps.

Happy clubbing!"

Thanks for the tips there. I'm going to a club on my own in December for 1st time ever and I'm nervous about it. But I thought I bite the bullet and try going on my own and hopefully just enjoy myself while trying to meet new people and make new friends. Fingers crossed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onkatimMan
over a year ago

bristol

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "

I have been to most of my visits to "clubs" on my own, I go mostly for the chat/flirting and meeting people, if that is all that happens I have had a good night, if more happens I had a great night

Look at it this way.. if you didn't know them before you went and tried to chat to them and they say no thank you still don't know them .. nothing lost, but if you chat you might make a friend/s or who knows more

just be chill

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eff4000Man
over a year ago

Camberley

I went to hellfire in Sunbury for the first time a couple of weeks ago and on my own.

I had no idea what to expect and was initially refused entry as I was super casual. Fortunately I remembered I still had my suit in my car so had a quick change in the car park lol.

It was certainly an interesting place, I didn't get involved in anything as I was blatantly putting out nervous first timer vibes. I also had no idea about etiquette or anything like that so didn't want to overstep.

I'd happily go back and try to get a bit more involved. Just needed a bit of Dutch courage I think, so next time will probably book a hotel nearby so can drink a little.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'd say do your homework before you go to a club for the first time.

Some clubs/events will let anyone in at pretty much any time, while others actually vet people in a really unobtrusive and respectful way - and yet others you wont be welcome at all as a single male, no matter how great a person you are.

The ones who vet well are often the best ones as the single guys who go will have excellent reputations, which will rub off on you if you yourself behave in the correct manner.

It's also true to say there are some clubs where you'll be treated extremely disrespectfully - particularly by couples - from the moment you walk in the door, as some will see you as only being there to be tolerated so that they can have the price you pay subsidise their night out. That being the case you'll pay a lot more, only to be treated like scum. Obviously this isn't the case everywhere, but as I say it's worth doing a bit of homework and fitting your own personality/needs to the event. I go to Dangerous Curves at Libs and Curvaceous Creatures at Purple Mamba and am made very welcome in all respects.

Obviously geography plays a part, but I'd strongly recommend plucking up the courage to go find where you feel most comfortable and where single guys are genuinely welcome.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I'd say do your homework before you go to a club for the first time.

The ones who vet well are often the best ones as the single guys who go will have excellent reputations, which will rub off on you if you yourself behave in the correct manner.

Obviously geography plays a part, but I'd strongly recommend plucking up the courage to go find where you feel most comfortable and where single guys are genuinely welcome."

I can sympathise with the main points made in this post, and that is; feeling welcome as a single guy in a club. I’ve been to several now, and I’ve experienced ‘Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility’ , along with the abrupt responses from couples, to the point where I have no desire to visit any other clubs as a single guy. It’s an easy decision for me though, as there aren’t any clubs local to me (nearest is 1 1/2 hour drive), but if there were more options closer, I would try to be more selective about which events to attend.

Club reviews are ok, but can be misleading, so beware! You will see the regulars repeat posting, to keep their local looking busier than it actually is, and negative reviews have a habit of disappearing…..! Look for reviews left by other single guys, and don’t be afraid to message them directly, for an unbiased opinion! Swinging is all about networking after all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

Yes please

Always look for single males at clubs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ougar1966Couple
over a year ago

Newport

Clubs would be very boring if there were no single guys there for me to play with. Always go with Hubby as a couple and seek out the single guys, newbies are always fun.

I get very annoyed at the regular club guys that start playing and then stops, saying he wants to "save" himself so he can play with others.

Nothing pisses me off more than a guy coming back to me later when they have failed to have anyone else expecting me to finish them off.

So OP.....make the effort, some of us will appreciate you paying the extra and if you are polite you may get to play and have great fun while in a club..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uggiedMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Been thinking of going to the club in burslem in stoke on trent but not sure if a single black would be excepted

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opking99Man
over a year ago

Wales

I bit the bullet around 18 months ago and went to a club in the North West of England. Unfortunately, I misinterpreted the entrance policy and got turned away.

It didn’t deter me and went back around a few months later. Was greeted like a friend and made to feel very welcome

One lady who chatted to me said that I was lovely as I was just normal around her and didn’t say at the earliest opportunity…are we going to play.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I'd say do your homework before you go to a club for the first time.

The ones who vet well are often the best ones as the single guys who go will have excellent reputations, which will rub off on you if you yourself behave in the correct manner.

Obviously geography plays a part, but I'd strongly recommend plucking up the courage to go find where you feel most comfortable and where single guys are genuinely welcome.

Excellent shout!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Been thinking of going to the club in burslem in stoke on trent but not sure if a single black would be excepted

If you're thinking of Atlantis i'd say absolutely go. It's not the most upmarket by any means, but it IS one of the most welcoming places I've ever been to. The owner and staff go out of their way to make people welcome.

Good luck Buddy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I bit the bullet around 18 months ago and went to a club in the North West of England. Unfortunately, I misinterpreted the entrance policy and got turned away.

It didn’t deter me and went back around a few months later. Was greeted like a friend and made to feel very welcome

One lady who chatted to me said that I was lovely as I was just normal around her and didn’t say at the earliest opportunity…are we going to play.

Definitely the way to go in terms of the way to get noticed for the right reasons. Chat, be open and genuine and it'll pay dividends, especially when you've been four or five times and are starting to become known. People will naturally chat to you more and you'll get more opportunities to play that being so.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve never been to a “club” and I really want to as I think it would be a great place to meet some amazing people, but think it would be odd if I rocked up on my own

What are your thoughts "
Maybe see if someone would be willing to take you, a couple perhaps. Then they could guide you directly. It seems the best way to me, and less likely for you to cock something up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Personally I couldn’t in a large club and I’ve always gone with someone. I’ve spoken to single guys at some clubs, I think I’m a small friendly club and if you know the staff and hang at the bar it’s easier to talk to people. But the hordes of single guys following people around in large clubs feels a bit sad"

Couldn't agree more!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Loads of men do it...to join couples and generally wank alot lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Loads of men do it...to join couples and generally wank alot lol "

This is one of the biggest killers for single guys - never, EVER stand right next to anyone playing doing this. All you're going to get is a seriously shitty reputation, which will stick! Better to spend more time in the bar getting to know people in a totally genuine manner and be patient. It's an absolute winner! Genuine and likeable goes a long way!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread