FabSwingers.com forum: Accommodating

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

My profile clearly states I cannot accommodate. A lot of guys, having contacted me for a meet, and having been told I can't accommodate ask 'well where are we going to meet then?' WTF? You know I can't accommodate but you contacted me anyway, perhaps YOU should have thought about that?

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

I'm worth a fuck but only if I make all the arrangements so they can turn up, get their dick wet and leave?Fuck that!

I used to offer to split the cost of a hotel room but I can't afford to do that more than a couple of times a month, and certainly not for every interesting man who contacts me.

I'm not a greedy bitch who expects a man to pay for the room but I usually can't split the cost. If they want to meet me and don't want to wait until I can afford to split the cost of a room, why should it be up to me to find a solution?

If we'd already had a meet and I wanted to see them again, maybe I would be willing to try, but not for a first meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I agree Kinky. It's not exactly difficult for the bloke to arrange suitable accommodation if he is visiting you. I always carry a travel wigwam with me to cover such eventualities

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

its great for me as i cant usually travel but i can accommodate. So the guys come to me, however, i do checks and make sure ive gotten to know them as well as i can before they come over. ive been on here 5 years and have met relatively few different guys. But every one ive met has been lovely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats not good, i used to meet men in a pub then we would have sex in his car in forest car park, then my hubby said invite them to our place because my back was playing me up.

if you cant have sex indoors, have sex outside, thats what i used to do when i was a teenager.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

Although I dont think that guys have any more responsibility to accommodate than women have, have to say that its this bit this irritates me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully i don't have that problem! The only problem i DO have is finding a gal that WANTS to be accommodated!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"thats not good, i used to meet men in a pub then we would have sex in his car in forest car park, then my hubby said invite them to our place because my back was playing me up.

if you cant have sex indoors, have sex outside, thats what i used to do when i was a teenager."

But some of us arent teenagers...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Surprising how many 'single' men can not accomodate....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

I'm worth a fuck but only if I make all the arrangements so they can turn up, get their dick wet and leave?Fuck that!

I used to offer to split the cost of a hotel room but I can't afford to do that more than a couple of times a month, and certainly not for every interesting man who contacts me.

If we'd already had a meet and I wanted to see them again, maybe I would be willing to try, but

not for a first meet."

I get this all the time and it drives me mad too. Its not that I can't accomodate it's just that I chose not to.

Guys will ask me if Im 'playing away' and when I reply that Im not, they say "why can't you accomodate then?"

I too have no problem paying half towards a hotel but some of the men who want to meet me do.

Im seriously considering buying a caravan just for this purpose

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a bit of a control freak, I prefer to make the arrangements myself, meeting at places that I know and trust, plan my exit plan should anything does not go according to plan.

I am prepared to pay for a room at a local budget hotel in advance entirely myself. If the gent fails to turn up, I would write off the hotel room as well as the gent, and move on.

I don't do this often due to budget constraints. Luckily I do not need to have sex that often!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surprising how many 'single' men can not accomodate....

Why? Just because they are single that doesn't mean they have their own place? They might be a single parent, stay with parents or have room mates! Theres a multitude of reasons why someone can't accommodate! And that goes for females and couples too, not just single guys!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Surprising how many 'single' men can not accomodate....

And 'single' women....

And couples....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!"

... then why are you not just blocking them and moving on.....????? They are clearly not deserving of your, er, 'qualities' are they.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

I'm worth a fuck but only if I make all the arrangements so they can turn up, get their dick wet and leave?Fuck that!

I used to offer to split the cost of a hotel room but I can't afford to do that more than a couple of times a month, and certainly not for every interesting man who contacts me.

If we'd already had a meet and I wanted to see them again, maybe I would be willing to try, but not for a first meet."

Is it couples or guys that have annoyed you? You mention guys but refer to a couple who've been unreasonable. Just a bit confused as it sounds like us guys are being berated for a couple's actions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"Surprising how many 'single' men can not accomodate....

Well said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it couples or guys that have annoyed you? You mention guys but refer to a couple who've been unreasonable. Just a bit confused as it sounds like us guys are being berated for a couple's actions."

Think KIH means 'a couple [of guys] have annoyed' her. I nearly took the comment the same way, but read it a couple of times and it made sense..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of all the gents that had contacted me in the past, none of them gave me the impression that they expected me to arrange or provide accommodation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"Is it couples or guys that have annoyed you? You mention guys but refer to a couple who've been unreasonable. Just a bit confused as it sounds like us guys are being berated for a couple's actions.

Think KIH means 'a couple [of guys] have annoyed' her. I nearly took the comment the same way, but read it a couple of times and it made sense..

Ahh... gotcha. Thanks for clarifying. It was ambiguous and apparently I misinterpreted it... I blame the footy I'm watching whilst browsing the forums.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree Kinky. It's not exactly difficult for the bloke to arrange suitable accommodation if he is visiting you. I always carry a travel wigwam with me to cover such eventualities "

Oh shush smartarse! I never said they have to come to me. I can, and do, travel. It says that on my profile too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

... then why are you not just blocking them and moving on.....????? They are clearly not deserving of your, er, 'qualities' are they.....

A very good question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thats not good, i used to meet men in a pub then we would have sex in his car in forest car park, then my hubby said invite them to our place because my back was playing me up.

if you cant have sex indoors, have sex outside, thats what i used to do when i was a teenager.

But some of us arent teenagers...

no i know but you could still have sex outside somewhere.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it couples or guys that have annoyed you? You mention guys but refer to a couple who've been unreasonable. Just a bit confused as it sounds like us guys are being berated for a couple's actions.

Think KIH means 'a couple [of guys] have annoyed' her. I nearly took the comment the same way, but read it a couple of times and it made sense..

Ahh... gotcha. Thanks for clarifying. It was ambiguous and apparently I misinterpreted it... I blame the footy I'm watching whilst browsing the forums."

No, blame my vague use of language. Porkperky has it correct. A couple of men message me every few weeks asking when we are going to meet and when I remind them I can't accommodate they ask, again, where we're going to go then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nnie2009Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

some guys just CANT READ

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtynigel02121980Man
over a year ago

Brandon

It says on my profile that i cant accommodate, also it states that i have a girlfriend and she knows I am on here. The reason for this is she has a daughter who also knows what we both do. The reason for not accommodating is is down to me not wanting her daughter around for my meets. If I ever arrange a meet and that person cant accommodate we always go halves on a room somewhere. Problem shared is a problem solved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I am asked where to meet if not at the local budget hotel, I would look for somewhere half way between where we both live, choose the hotel, and ask him to book the room, and I shall pay him my share on the day.

If I cancel the meet at the last minute on my part, I would cough up my share of the expense via PayPal or whatever.

If he cancels last minute, he has to pick up the entire cost.

If the gent does not agree to it, I don't meet him, simple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surprising how many 'single' men can not accomodate....

And this is from a 'couple' that cannot accommodate! Talk about being ironic!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"Is it couples or guys that have annoyed you? You mention guys but refer to a couple who've been unreasonable. Just a bit confused as it sounds like us guys are being berated for a couple's actions.

Think KIH means 'a couple [of guys] have annoyed' her. I nearly took the comment the same way, but read it a couple of times and it made sense..

Ahh... gotcha. Thanks for clarifying. It was ambiguous and apparently I misinterpreted it... I blame the footy I'm watching whilst browsing the forums.

Yeah, see what you meant now I've re-read it. My bad.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"Surprising how many 'single' men can not accomodate....

I know, we are one of the couples who can't accomodate due to children. Just looking at the percentage of single men who can't accomodate. Now I know that particulaly(sp?) in this day and age many can't afford to live on their own but was wondering how many of these single men aren't realky single... That was what I was getting at, but was too lazy to write all that, and was hoping the ' marks around single would explain what I ment... Wasn't having a dig at quenuine singles/couples who can't accomodate...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I can, and do accommodate.. but won't meet anyone who can't accommodate.

Simply because I tend to repeat meet the same people and I don't expect to and won't accommodate every time we meet. So for me, my choice is only to meet people who can accommodate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"thats not good, i used to meet men in a pub then we would have sex in his car in forest car park, then my hubby said invite them to our place because my back was playing me up.

if you cant have sex indoors, have sex outside, thats what i used to do when i was a teenager.

But some of us arent teenagers...

no i know but you could still have sex outside somewhere."

I could, but I'd rather not have sex than do it outside or in cars.

And for those who ask why don't I just not have sex then, that's exactly what I do, unless I *really* want to meet the other person(s), they can accommodate, or they arrange accommodation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/09/12 16:35:26]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"If I am asked where to meet if not at the local budget hotel, I would look for somewhere half way between where we both live, choose the hotel, and ask him to book the room, and I shall pay him my share on the day.

If I cancel the meet at the last minute on my part, I would cough up my share of the expense via PayPal or whatever.

If he cancels last minute, he has to pick up the entire cost.

If the gent does not agree to it, I don't meet him, simple.

That's a good idea, although it does require the person who pays trusting that the other person will recompense them if they do cancel at short notice... but I'm unable to think of a better alternative.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why cant they accomodate....................the damn wifes always at home lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple, when we book a hotel we always pay, as we have kids we can't have people round our house we see it as our problem, so our solution.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find sometimes women prefer to accommodate because then:

1. They don't have to worry about travel. (Petrol isn't cheap!)

2. Home comforts seeing as its their place they are in control as such.

3. Longer time to get ready. They can still be drying their hair etc while I'd have to be ready earlier to allow for travel time.

4. Not having a travel home to worry about either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... although it does require the person who pays trusting that the other person will recompense them if they do cancel at short notice ...

Trust is a two-way process, and there will always be an element of risk that one has to take.

I would always advise booking a room that can be cancelled up to certain time on the due date of arrival.

I have yet to decide cancelling a meet at the very last minute. Usually my gut feel tells me not to go ahead with it days before, based on some comments/behaviours observed via exchanging communications in one form or another.

;-)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"why cant they accomodate....................the damn wifes always at home lol"

Yes that must be the case. Of course. How silly of me to think that it could be something like having children at home or sharing a house with others or having nosey neighbours, etc...

Similarly I take it that non-accommodating women all have a husband at home too. lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

... although it does require the person who pays trusting that the other person will recompense them if they do cancel at short notice ...

Trust is a two-way process, and there will always be an element of risk that one has to take.

I would always advise booking a room that can be cancelled up to certain time on the due date of arrival.

;-)"

True. Nicely worded reply, by the way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I find sometimes women prefer to accommodate because then:

1. They don't have to worry about travel. (Petrol isn't cheap!)

2. Home comforts seeing as its their place they are in control as such.

3. Longer time to get ready. They can still be drying their hair etc while I'd have to be ready earlier to allow for travel time.

4. Not having a travel home to worry about either."

Well said! You've just hit the nail on the head, all of the reasons, why I accommodate, though I do take my time getting to know someone pretty well first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vana sukalotWoman
over a year ago

In a land of make believe (Derby)

I've not met anyone yet due to the fact I can't accom

Hotels sound like a good idea

Do I book a hotel for one adult or two?

I'm new so please bear with me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would advise booking for two people.

If using Travelodge, I would advise booking a family room with no extra cost.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vana sukalotWoman
over a year ago

In a land of make believe (Derby)

"I would advise booking for two people.

If using Travelodge, I would advise booking a family room with no extra cost.

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would advise booking for two people.

If using Travelodge, I would advise booking a family room with no extra cost.

Thank you

I forgot to mention one gets a sofa in the family room too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

[Removed by poster at 23/09/12 18:43:13]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"I've not met anyone yet due to the fact I can't accom

Hotels sound like a good idea

Do I book a hotel for one adult or two?

I'm new so please bear with me

I've just made a booking for 3.

Ever the optimist....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've not met anyone yet due to the fact I can't accom

Hotels sound like a good idea

Do I book a hotel for one adult or two?

I'm new so please bear with me

I've just made a booking for 3.

Ever the optimist....

Makes perfect sense if one elects to play with couples.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't accommodate because my swinging life is kept entirely separate from my real life and I do not want to swing in my childrens home, and I'm not entirely comfortable with strangers knowing my address.

We do meet people who do accommodate but we are equally happy to share hotels, I don't expect to be invited to other peoples homes. Mostly we meet in clubs though.

Sometimes ill put a status up if I'm going to a particular club. Guys will message saying they would love to meet me but aren't members of the club I'm going to. Well that's just tough then isn't it, if they aren't a member what the hell do they expect me to do about it. I also may not play with them, I only offer to say hi, its not a guarantee I'm going to play cos if I wasn't attracted to them I wouldn't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

... then why are you not just blocking them and moving on.....????? They are clearly not deserving of your, er, 'qualities' are they.....

A very good question.

.. the answer to which is......???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

... then why are you not just blocking them and moving on.....????? They are clearly not deserving of your, er, 'qualities' are they.....

A very good question.

.. the answer to which is......???

11?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why cant they accomodate....................the damn wifes always at home lol"

I am always getting castigated when I say that if you are putting yourself up on here as a SINGLE (note that - S.I.N.G.L.E.) guy and you are saying that you CAN'T accommodate, then you have some serious questions to answer, and justification to come up with - and I say that having been on here as a single guy in the past FFS!!!

'Single' to me means living in your OWN place, NOT having a live-in GF, NOT having a 'soon-to-be-ex' wife 'sharing' the house etc. Okay, these days I DO accept that 'single' can mean 'still living with parents' BUT..... you still have to justify why you can't properly accommodate without excuses.

For us as a couple, the equivalent is the girl2girl phone call - we do NOT expect a guy to answer the phone when we call. If he does, then it's not girl2girl as far as we are concerned. Calls like this usually involve the classic 'she can't come to the phone right now' excuse, so guess what happens to them...

The single-guy-who-can't-accom debate just continues to roll on.... sadly..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can accom, altho i house share, so i find it easy to accom single on one on one meets but find it a bit on top to accom couples!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"'Single' to me means living in your OWN place"

"Single" to me means not being in a relationship. It's nothing to do with living arrangements.

I am single. I can't accommodate because I don't have my own place, for very personal reasons I am not willing to explain on my profile.

I'll explain, if necessary, to people I wish to meet. It's very uncomfortable though, and a very personal part of my life which, to be honest, someone I am considering having casual sex with does not need to know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do some (not all) guys seem to think it's a woman's responsibility to accommodate?

I cannot accommodate and even if I could, I'd be very uneasy giving my address to, effectively, a stranger.

A couple keep coming back to me:

'When are we going to meet?'

'Can you accommodate? I still can't, like my profile says and the same as last time you asked me'

'Oh, when will you be able to accommodate? Maybe we should wait until then'

Some of these men have 'can accommodate' on their profiles!

... then why are you not just blocking them and moving on.....????? They are clearly not deserving of your, er, 'qualities' are they.....

A very good question.

.. the answer to which is......???

I should be, I suppose, but I don't really like blocking people.

Expecting me to accommodate doesn't seem like a blocking sin. Although if they keep messaging me about it, expecting every time that I'll accommodate, when I've already said I can't and my profile still says I can't, I suppose it is time to start hitting block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I think it's a case of most guys just don't give a shit about what you say on your profile. They just think thay can talk their way into getting what they want once they get a conversation going. If this happens to me, I just go into automatic pilot and tell them to 'refer to profile.' After I've said it a couple of times, they go away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

There are a lot of people in life that will either assume; regardless of what is printed in a profile, or worse are just the freeloader types; I don't think that FAB is any different to that! Pearl appears to have the correct methodology for meets here, and that's my policy as well; though dependent on the Lady I'm chatting with and my own personal circumstances it may be convenient for us both if a hotel closer to one or another is more suitable. I'm quite flexible with my 'wage slave' commitments, so I'm usually happy to show my willingness to do more than my fair share of facilitating an enjoyable meet, and if that involves travel than what's the problem with that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread