Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swingers Chat |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Someone is coming across a bit bitter lol From my point of view, if you send a decent messages I will always reply, even if your not what I am looking for, but if you send a 'Hi, how are you' message, then you wont, also if you have completely disregarded my preferences, because you are just chancing your luck, then again, I will ignore. And yes I have experienced loads of the above types of messages and to be honest, It becomes very tiring, so in answer, if the person messaging can't be arsed then neither can I, Simples " +1 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any body got any tips as how to get at least a reply I'm polite non pushy and respectful but dosnt seem to merit a reply" sell yourself... sell yourself... sell yourself... want a point blank answer..... quick question... does your profile sell yourself to its best??? does it differeniate you from anyone else out there.... hand on heart... would you basically answer your own profile..... seriously???? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No I'm not bitter was just looking for feedback I take time to read profiles and respect peoples choices always polite courteous and not just a hi do you fancy a bit " My 'bitter' remark was not aimed at you! Just to clarify x But I will say about 95% of my messages are of the variety I spoke about...the ones that chance their luck is because I asked them, and their come back has always been, 'well, if you don't ask you don't get' So, from a female point of view, it can just get very tiresome and boring at times  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"In my experience it doesnt seem to matter what sort of message you send guys rarely get a response. Its hardly surprising some of us come across as bitter on here when no matter how much effort we put in theres very little result. We are very much 2nd class citizens around here." Hardly!!! I mean, I am very much the Virgin Bloody Mary coz I am such a fussy bitch, but I still meet, albeit, they have to have made the effort in their message for me to respond, like I said, the chancers and the one liners will not get a response from me, also those that have made no effort on their profile as well, will get zero response, so as you said earlier, the effort you put in, does in fact reflect on the response you will receive! Is it really that difficult for men to wonder what they are doing wrong? Or do they really set out with high expectations on what they expect the site to be instshag.com???? Come on guys it's not rocket science!!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I reply to all winks and messages even if from folk outside what i am looking for, no excuse for ignorance male or female it makes no difference if you do not want messages etc then why the fuck have a profile." I logged in a few days ago to 240 messages. at least 100 of these were from people who were either under 25 or over 45.. I clearly state the ages I'm interested in meeting and that I'm not interested in people outwith these. Another 100 were "hi hw r u" or "fancy meeting me tomorrow afternoon" or "wanna fuk" ... again if they had bothered to actually read my profile they could have saved wasting the time it took them to send the mail. It clearly says "sending one liners, I'm not interested and I don't do daytime meets ever" Why should I reply to any of these when the answers are already in my profile.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Tell us what sort of message women and couples do like to hear then. Give us some pointers" Why should anyone give you pointers there isnt a crib sheet you have to work it out for yourself Why would we tell you the best way to get replys when we had to figure it out for ourselfs these posts just scream to me that people are 1 desperate for a meet thats not really attractive to anyone and 2 that your lazy and cant think of anything for yourself Sorry to sound harsh but its not rocket science | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"In my experience it doesnt seem to matter what sort of message you send guys rarely get a response. Its hardly surprising some of us come across as bitter on here when no matter how much effort we put in theres very little result. We are very much 2nd class citizens around here. Hardly!!! I mean, I am very much the Virgin Bloody Mary coz I am such a fussy bitch, but I still meet, albeit, they have to have made the effort in their message for me to respond, like I said, the chancers and the one liners will not get a response from me, also those that have made no effort on their profile as well, will get zero response, so as you said earlier, the effort you put in, does in fact reflect on the response you will receive! Is it really that difficult for men to wonder what they are doing wrong? Or do they really set out with high expectations on what they expect the site to be instshag.com???? Come on guys it's not rocket science!!! "Actually i think it is rocket science tbh. Already tonight Ive had lengthy detailed messages and short how are you messge ignored so as I said earlier it doesnt seem to matter whats sent. I was also reading a similar thread where 1 female said she only wants short messages whilst another said she only wants long messages. Cant win really | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
point just proved was chatting to a lady nothing filth just politeness then block | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Tell us what sort of message women and couples do like to hear then. Give us some pointers" Do you really want to know? Ok, here goes.... Make it clear that you have actually read my profile, rather than looking at my pics and thinking, I want a bit of that, and then your cock start thinking for you! The chancers....are the one's visiting your area, and sending through countless staying in '......' hotel wanna meet messages and it is mid week where as I make it clear (I don't meet mid week due to work) So blame your own sex for beings twats lol Also, engage my mind, that is the largest muscle in the female body, if you can do that...the rest should be easy enough to see if you have a connection or not, Like I said before it's not rocket science, it's all about putting a bloody effort in!!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant." Lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That's the thing I like to think I'm more than capable of engaging with people I do it for a living daily lol but to no avail on fab" Do you think your profile engages people?? Lots of people check the profile before reading the mail. If there's nothing in a profile that stands out then often mail gets deleted unread.... so no chance of a reply. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant." So then clever cloggs - the OP asked a question, you chose to be sarcastic but never really answered him .... you a bitter single male or have I picked you up wrong ? OP, persevere, make your profile better than anyone else's. The fact remains that single guys are in abundance. It's a supply and demand situation and sadly for single guys the supply is greater than the demand - it's just a fact of life | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant. So then clever cloggs - the OP asked a question, you chose to be sarcastic but never really answered him .... you a bitter single male or have I picked you up wrong ? OP, persevere, make your profile better than anyone else's. The fact remains that single guys are in abundance. It's a supply and demand situation and sadly for single guys the supply is greater than the demand - it's just a fact of life " I am a bit bitter this week actually after having the runaround from 2 or 3 single fems and couples. Usually realistic about the site and accept meets are gonna be few and far between. I do agree with the OP though in that recently messaging has become extremely tedious work and to be honest not really worth the effort. thats not just from own experience either but from comments made by numerous guys. I used to have some success on here but of late it just seems a total waste of time no matter how i go about things. So in short, no, i dont have an answer for him. I and a 1000 other guys wish there was an answer. What i will say is that i doubt the majority of folk on the site have any intention of ever meeting and are only on for kicks. A wee power trip having guys message them for a meet then just kicking them to the kerb like theyre dirt. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally think a cheery 'hey how are ya' is fine, dont see what all the fuss is about I mean what else you goin to say to a complete stranger???? Think some have unrealistic expectations on here and need to stop thinking that single men are the scourge of the site and how dare they send any less than a full regurgitation of a profile, I think that's worse as all it says it that the person writing it can make an effort to make it appear they are what your looking for .....gawd can you imagine the same approach in a pub lolol....chillax " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hairy? Have you ever tried a party? Lmao Hey guys dont think you are the only ones having this problem...we get very little contact on here..not sure why. People just want to view our pics and then block us! Lol " I have been to a party actually. Was great lol Ive viewed your pics too but i wont block you, I might want another ogle sometime lol xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally think a cheery 'hey how are ya' is fine, dont see what all the fuss is about I mean what else you goin to say to a complete stranger???? Think some have unrealistic expectations on here and need to stop thinking that single men are the scourge of the site and how dare they send any less than a full regurgitation of a profile, I think that's worse as all it says it that the person writing it can make an effort to make it appear they are what your looking for .....gawd can you imagine the same approach in a pub lolol....chillax "OK, you might reply to these types of messages, so when I reply, 'Hi, I'm fine thanks' what would you then say? 'Glad to here it?' Hmm what a great conversation lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally think a cheery 'hey how are ya' is fine, dont see what all the fuss is about I mean what else you goin to say to a complete stranger???? Think some have unrealistic expectations on here and need to stop thinking that single men are the scourge of the site and how dare they send any less than a full regurgitation of a profile, I think that's worse as all it says it that the person writing it can make an effort to make it appear they are what your looking for .....gawd can you imagine the same approach in a pub lolol....chillax
OK, you might reply to these types of messages, so when I reply, 'Hi, I'm fine thanks' what would you then say? 'Glad to here it?' Hmm what a great conversation lol"Yeah it's called chatting.... I'd rather start that way than some false story telling from someone kidding on he's exactly what Im looking for | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally think a cheery 'hey how are ya' is fine, dont see what all the fuss is about I mean what else you goin to say to a complete stranger???? Think some have unrealistic expectations on here and need to stop thinking that single men are the scourge of the site and how dare they send any less than a full regurgitation of a profile, I think that's worse as all it says it that the person writing it can make an effort to make it appear they are what your looking for .....gawd can you imagine the same approach in a pub lolol....chillax
OK, you might reply to these types of messages, so when I reply, 'Hi, I'm fine thanks' what would you then say? 'Glad to here it?' Hmm what a great conversation lol"Its a start though. At least then the sender knows the person is going to respond so can start putting more effort and detail in. Trust me, theres nothing more demoralising than typing out a long message only to see it deleted without reply and quite possibly without reading | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hairy? Have you ever tried a party? Lmao Hey guys dont think you are the only ones having this problem...we get very little contact on here..not sure why. People just want to view our pics and then block us! Lol I have been to a party actually. Was great lol Ive viewed your pics too but i wont block you, I might want another ogle sometime lol xx" Oh nooo! They go the whole hog and send a friend req and see the face pics then block!!! Im starting to get paranoid..but hey ho..each to their own..which is another get saying on here  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally think a cheery 'hey how are ya' is fine, dont see what all the fuss is about I mean what else you goin to say to a complete stranger???? Think some have unrealistic expectations on here and need to stop thinking that single men are the scourge of the site and how dare they send any less than a full regurgitation of a profile, I think that's worse as all it says it that the person writing it can make an effort to make it appear they are what your looking for .....gawd can you imagine the same approach in a pub lolol....chillax
OK, you might reply to these types of messages, so when I reply, 'Hi, I'm fine thanks' what would you then say? 'Glad to here it?' Hmm what a great conversation lol
Its a start though. At least then the sender knows the person is going to respond so can start putting more effort and detail in.
Trust me, theres nothing more demoralising than typing out a long message only to see it deleted without reply and quite possibly without reading" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant. So then clever cloggs - the OP asked a question, you chose to be sarcastic but never really answered him .... you a bitter single male or have I picked you up wrong ? OP, persevere, make your profile better than anyone else's. The fact remains that single guys are in abundance. It's a supply and demand situation and sadly for single guys the supply is greater than the demand - it's just a fact of life I am a bit bitter this week actually after having the runaround from 2 or 3 single fems and couples. Usually realistic about the site and accept meets are gonna be few and far between. I do agree with the OP though in that recently messaging has become extremely tedious work and to be honest not really worth the effort. thats not just from own experience either but from comments made by numerous guys. I used to have some success on here but of late it just seems a total waste of time no matter how i go about things. So in short, no, i dont have an answer for him. I and a 1000 other guys wish there was an answer. What i will say is that i doubt the majority of folk on the site have any intention of ever meeting and are only on for kicks. A wee power trip having guys message them for a meet then just kicking them to the kerb like theyre dirt." I think you are a very cynical man to be honest. I'd say that the majority of people on here DO want to meet - yes there are those who are here for kicks, dirty chat, to perve the pics etc etc etc, but the vast majority are here to meet and have fun. Sorry that you've been pissed around by some people - we've had exactly the same from single guys, those who say they'll meet but come crunch time wriggle out of it. Are we bothered ? No! it's a game of cat and mouse, we win some we lose some, but one thing we don't do it to tar all single males with the same brush and the other thing that we don't do is to get all hot and bothered about it. we put it down to experience and move right along to our next venture | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place." Do you reply to every piece of junk mail or unsolicited mail that you receive, even if it's to say no thank you, on the basis that the company took the time to create it and send it to you? 
If a guy doesn't send me a decent message, if I don't like his profile, or if he doesn't match what I am looking for, I may not reply. If he's rude, crass or creepy, I probably won't reply.
Why should choosing to spend time sending a message to someone mean that there is any expectation for that person to spend their time replying? People have a right to decide how to spend their own time, not to dictate how others spend theirs.
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Tell us what sort of message women and couples do like to hear then. Give us some pointers" I'm not sure there are any pointers as such, if I get a message that's stupid or boring or both, I won't bother to answer unless it's to point out that their message is stupid or boring or both, | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any body got any tips as how to get at least a reply I'm polite non pushy and respectful but dosnt seem to merit a reply" face photos would help  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant." what he said | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant." Everything you've listed are valid responses to this complaint. If you got 100 messages a day, would you sit there for hours replying to them all? You wouldn't. "The time of single guys is important"...hilarious. You're the one making the offer, you're not owed anything. Get over it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good luck wi this. No doubt youll be hearing soon how females and couples get inundated with mail and dont have time to reply to everyone whilst totally neglecting the fact that even the time of single guys is important yet they still take time to send mail in the first place. Then youll go on to hear you only get out of the site what you put in. that seems to be quite a cliche round here actually. Then youll be advised to go to clubs whether you want to or not. I could go on and on wi various things youll hear but its never really mentioned that some couples and single females are just downright ignorant. Everything you've listed are valid responses to this complaint. If you got 100 messages a day, would you sit there for hours replying to them all? You wouldn't. "The time of single guys is important"...hilarious. You're the one making the offer, you're not owed anything. Get over it." Have to agree! There are no guarantees in life - and certainly should be no expectancy of anything on Fab, be that replies to messages, helpful advice in posts or meets! Those that get responses do so due to attracting interest and interacting with others in a way that makes contact, either virtual of face to face an interesting and attractive proposition - not by gathering 'top tips' or cutting and pasting messages, profile content or pic ideas. It's totally down to your personality, your communication skills and hate to say - your 'attractiveness' - both appearance wise and your interests, that will encourage anyone to respond. There's no magic wand, secret formula or golden rules for success. It'll either happen - or it won't. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any body got any tips as how to get at least a reply I'm polite non pushy and respectful but dosnt seem to merit a reply" Well your profile is about as wank as they come for starters! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any body got any tips as how to get at least a reply I'm polite non pushy and respectful but dosnt seem to merit a reply Well your profile is about as wank as they come for starters! ". Thats helpful lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any body got any tips as how to get at least a reply I'm polite non pushy and respectful but dosnt seem to merit a reply Well your profile is about as wank as they come for starters! .
Thats helpful lol"No worries, here to help | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have the same problem. Not sure what to write in my profile to get peoples attention. Any advice would be cool." Cock pic overload!!! Put some other pics on - dont have to show your face but nice bum, torso etc would be better than several views of the same cock! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I reply to all winks and messages even if from folk outside what i am looking for, no excuse for ignorance male or female it makes no difference if you do not want messages etc then why the fuck have a profile. I logged in a few days ago to 240 messages. at least 100 of these were from people who were either under 25 or over 45.. I clearly state the ages I'm interested in meeting and that I'm not interested in people outwith these. Another 100 were "hi hw r u" or "fancy meeting me tomorrow afternoon" or "wanna fuk" ... again if they had bothered to actually read my profile they could have saved wasting the time it took them to send the mail. It clearly says "sending one liners, I'm not interested and I don't do daytime meets ever" Why should I reply to any of these when the answers are already in my profile. "what your saying is totally true, ok I am really new and have already had a few waster couples( who I think are not really couples) I always read profiles and wont write if I don't match the criteria.If i write then I try to pick out something in it to start a conversation. but mostly I get read/delete.so it puts you off of writing really long emails!! my profile is probably boring but its me.. its not all about sex and shagging anything that moves.but enjoying the company and liking the person or persons you may have sex with !! but then I am probably strange. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i always reply even if its to say no thanks...i think its the polite thing to do..i wudnt like it if i sent a message and the person didnt reply, i'd think they were ignorant fuckers" Thank heavens for filters. I'm specific in what I'm looking for and if a bi, married, short, black Dom from outside London can't recognise he's NOT what I'm looking for I couldn't give a rat's behind if he thought I was ignorant for deleting his message unread. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the real answer is that women don't give a fuck what sort of MSG you send as long as they like what they see in pics." And profile hun. It doesn't matter if they look like Ray Stevenson, if their profile is non-existent, ignorant, or just not compatible, I won't reply. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the real answer is that women don't give a fuck what sort of MSG you send as long as they like what they see in pics. And profile hun. It doesn't matter if they look like Ray Stevenson, if their profile is non-existent, ignorant, or just not compatible, I won't reply." Definitely, I'm hardly an oil painting but I could seriously have a meet every day if I had the time. If you stand out then there is always a certain percentage of people that are attracted to that. Plus I'm good in bed | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any body got any tips as how to get at least a reply I'm polite non pushy and respectful but dosnt seem to merit a reply" There is no magic cure you just have to be polite and if knocked back move on to the next person you are interested in. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
