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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " If she is as you say a close friend then I would tell her..how would she be with you for telling her? stay your friend or not?.if he has a pic on his profile show her so she has seen his profile for herself...Only you can decide what to do..and if you do tell her and she doesn't speak to you again but stays with him then your conscious is clear!! Good luck...I'll be interested to know how it goes too. | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " Does your friend know you are on here? Can you be subtle and tell her but act like it's another friends husband and see what she tells you to do. | |||
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"Does your friend know you are on here? Can you be subtle and tell her but act like it's another friends husband and see what she tells you to do. " See now i would have this approach too but instead i would " SHOW " her the calibre of men that are on here by doing a search. Oh that one looks just like my husband. Just saying. | |||
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"She knows im a swinger and I see her when we all get together and yes him at times too. She's the kind who thinks they're loves young dream, poor woman " As a “close friend” then *of course* you should steam in there and completely disabuse her of that notion and make sure she’s in absolutely no doubt that she’s not ‘all that’. If you want to tell her, then tell her. If you don’t, then don’t and make sure he’s on your block list. Why are you canvassing opinion here about this? If she’s as close a friend as you’re implying, then you’ll know what to do. | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " Invite me round and we'll discuss it in detail.  | |||
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"She knows im a swinger and I see her when we all get together and yes him at times too. She's the kind who thinks they're loves young dream, poor woman " Does she know that he's a swinger too xx  | |||
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"You’d better believe that I’d tell her if she was a good friend. Fucking right." This | |||
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"If you want to tell her can you send an anonymous letter somehow" Really? How would you feel to get such a letter? | |||
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"If you want to tell her can you send an anonymous letter somehow"
Before I knew her, my friend's husband was having an affair. *Everyone* at work knew about it (they work for the same company).
No-one told her. It absolutely destroyed her. | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " How many times has this happened? | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " Maybe his wife knows he is also a swinger and is trying to test your friendship rather than him being a sly dog? | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! Maybe his wife knows he is also a swinger and is trying to test your friendship rather than him being a sly dog?" The plot thickens.............. | |||
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"If you want to tell her can you send an anonymous letter somehow
Before I knew her, my friend's husband was having an affair. *Everyone* at work knew about it (they work for the same company).
No-one told her. It absolutely destroyed her. "If no one told her how did she find out? | |||
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"If she is such a close friend then tell her. I know my close friends would appreciate me telling them x" How do you know your friends would appreciate you telling them that? You have no idea what lies behind the situation and the reason for the situation occurring? | |||
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"She knows im a swinger and I see her when we all get together and yes him at times too. She's the kind who thinks they're loves young dream, poor woman " From a man's point of view, alot of us just can't help being who we are, swinging is a way to suppress the urges to get sexual satisfaction, sex is just sex, its not love.. I'm lucky that my partner knows im on here, we also have a couples profile together before anyone judges me and im lucky she accepts me for who I am. so try and understand that this could be the case. Therefore speak to him first. | |||
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"If you want to tell her can you send an anonymous letter somehow
Before I knew her, my friend's husband was having an affair. *Everyone* at work knew about it (they work for the same company).
No-one told her. It absolutely destroyed her.
If no one told her how did she find out?"Think he told her in the end. Pretty shit when a few hundred people knew and she didn't. Betrayed by so many. | |||
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"If she is such a close friend then tell her. I know my close friends would appreciate me telling them x How do you know your friends would appreciate you telling them that? You have no idea what lies behind the situation and the reason for the situation occurring?" Trust me I know, that's why we are close friends. We have all said that no matter what, if we knew any partners were being deceitful then we would want to be told. | |||
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Ultimately, you have to go with what sits well with you, knowing your friends as you do.
Personally, I would block, delete and never talk of it.
Whatever you choose to do, good luck  | |||
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"She knows im a swinger and I see her when we all get together and yes him at times too. She's the kind who thinks they're loves young dream, poor woman From a man's point of view, alot of us just can't help being who we are, swinging is a way to suppress the urges to get sexual satisfaction, sex is just sex, its not love.. I'm lucky that my partner knows im on here, we also have a couples profile together before anyone judges me and im lucky she accepts me for who I am. so try and understand that this could be the case. Therefore speak to him first. " ‘Sex is just sex, it’s not love’ is often not the point. Deceit is deceit - if that’s what’s going on. Saying ‘a lot of us just can’t help being who we are’ also doesn’t sit well with me. It’s no excuse for cheating. I’m not casting judgement on people’s actions, but please don’t try and justify them by saying they can’t help it because it’s the way they are, as if it’s beyond their control x | |||
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"Single w3t female…. Some of the advice in here is black and white, alliw me to play devils advocate and provide an alternative synopsis…. The common theme seems to rotate around tell her or dont and “do him” which in fairness are two of the relevantly appropriate available options however… A) if she is a good friend and you play with him, this will mentally tarnish your friendship with her, naturally your dynamic with her will change cos you will know what you have done, and you will know she does not know… (if ok with this no judgement go ahead) B) quite often in these situations as you are probably aware it is often the “messenger that gets shot” you being the messenger not him even tho he messaged you… haha again you know her better than anyone on this thread so you are in the better and more informed position to be able to form the required perspective on this option…. C) and here is the part there seems to be no mention if on this thread, i totally understand why you have previously ignored (or steered clear of such situations) BUT it could be that he has ulterior motives, and is citing you out for some potentially underhanded reason, but you can only really gain clarification by conversing, did he know its you thus the message, or has he just messaged an attractive scrumpet and by his own bad luck its someone he knows? Just to play the hypothetical card even though you think she doesnt aporove, say she is too shy to be as open about it, and knowingly to her he is acting as go between to try and hook something between all of you gojng in all guns blazing might not be ideal…. My first port of call would probably be to find out if he knows it is you (you may know this already?) secondly my next thought would be does she know, is she part of it? Third concern would be what he was trying to achieve? Did he have an inclination to meet you knowing its you or not, you can only find out by enquiring, as a last point if he did know it was you, and she doesnt know about him being on there, yes you have a decision to make but you could negate a lot of the pitfalls by stating to him that IF he doesnt tell the truth to her and open a potentially awkward and honest/frank avenue of discussion you will do it for him, put the ball in his court to do the right thing, this covers you for actions taken in a potentially awkward position, fulfills your responsibility and obligation to the right thing by her as a friend, and also affords you breathing space to judge him by his actions to follow, extra time to ponder the actions you should take Hope this helps, just a thought" Purely as a point of discussion and not linking it to the op at all, do you feel we have the right to tell other people how to conduct their relationship, especially by using threats to "tell all" if they don't do what we think they should? Does our obligation to friends extend to influencing their partners behaviour? | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " Block him, forget him, don't respond and don't get involved. I think you will find a great majority of men on this site are married. Its par for the course. | |||
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"Single w3t female…. Some of the advice in here is black and white, alliw me to play devils advocate and provide an alternative synopsis…. The common theme seems to rotate around tell her or dont and “do him” which in fairness are two of the relevantly appropriate available options however… A) if she is a good friend and you play with him, this will mentally tarnish your friendship with her, naturally your dynamic with her will change cos you will know what you have done, and you will know she does not know… (if ok with this no judgement go ahead) B) quite often in these situations as you are probably aware it is often the “messenger that gets shot” you being the messenger not him even tho he messaged you… haha again you know her better than anyone on this thread so you are in the better and more informed position to be able to form the required perspective on this option…. C) and here is the part there seems to be no mention if on this thread, i totally understand why you have previously ignored (or steered clear of such situations) BUT it could be that he has ulterior motives, and is citing you out for some potentially underhanded reason, but you can only really gain clarification by conversing, did he know its you thus the message, or has he just messaged an attractive scrumpet and by his own bad luck its someone he knows? Just to play the hypothetical card even though you think she doesnt aporove, say she is too shy to be as open about it, and knowingly to her he is acting as go between to try and hook something between all of you gojng in all guns blazing might not be ideal…. My first port of call would probably be to find out if he knows it is you (you may know this already?) secondly my next thought would be does she know, is she part of it? Third concern would be what he was trying to achieve? Did he have an inclination to meet you knowing its you or not, you can only find out by enquiring, as a last point if he did know it was you, and she doesnt know about him being on there, yes you have a decision to make but you could negate a lot of the pitfalls by stating to him that IF he doesnt tell the truth to her and open a potentially awkward and honest/frank avenue of discussion you will do it for him, put the ball in his court to do the right thing, this covers you for actions taken in a potentially awkward position, fulfills your responsibility and obligation to the right thing by her as a friend, and also affords you breathing space to judge him by his actions to follow, extra time to ponder the actions you should take Hope this helps, just a thought Purely as a point of discussion and not linking it to the op at all, do you feel we have the right to tell other people how to conduct their relationship, especially by using threats to "tell all" if they don't do what we think they should? Does our obligation to friends extend to influencing their partners behaviour?" I get what you are saying…. Too grey an area id say given every person, relationship, and situation are different…. Firstly in my defense i said “say” you are going to, not do it…. And i said allow yourself time to decide what you want to do…. :-/ I would say that the “obligation to friends” bit is the key to your statement not the “influencing the partners behaviour bit”, influencing someone elses partners behaviour would not be in your remit necessarily, but as the “friend” you would know what your mate expects from you, if thats to be told or not etc. And is ‘doing him’, or ‘telling her’ better options than finding out what his intentions were, and making an informed decision rather than making a preconceived assumption devoid of facts as a result of not asking the person concerned? I didnt say it was an easy one mod  x
“Thanks for making my brain scramble and hurt tho” hahahaha | |||
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"Say nothing. There has to be a sort of "code" with websites like this - people need to know discretion is the default. It doesn't matter what your thoughts are on the morality on what he's doing, people should expect a bit of privacy when using sites like this." Yeah sod her friend, what does she matter. Let the man fuck around. | |||
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"block and forget. If you feel you need to do something speak to him" I agree. The only reason to tell a female friend is a desire to inflict pain into their marriage. Definately speak to him and ask why etc if you are close enough. | |||
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"Yeah sod her friend, what does she matter. Let the man fuck around. "Yup, pretty much. What happens on Fab should stay on Fab. People should never betray the mutual trust within these digital walls. It undermines the feeling of safety we all enjoy to behave in a way that we might not "IRL". | |||
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"Yeah sod her friend, what does she matter. Let the man fuck around.
Yup, pretty much. What happens on Fab should stay on Fab. People should never betray the mutual trust within these digital walls. It undermines the feeling of safety we all enjoy to behave in a way that we might not "IRL"."I, sadly, agree. Most of the single guys we meet are married but I just don't know their wives. Would be somewhat hypocritical of me to judge a friends husband for using a swingers site for extra marital shags when I am happy to shag married men. | |||
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"My ex husband is on here,coz he cheated on me,but still is cheating on his gf has been even since we broke up. Me I could tell her,but I know she wouldn't believe me,even when I said he a cheater. Now I see its up to her to find out how I did. Most people cheat,but only u know as a person what u really want to do. Cheating isn't nice,that's why I don't trust anyone." Do you question single men you meet, as they may be married too. Surely, looking for men on a sex site like this is asking for trouble. It doesn't bother me if they are married or single, not looking for a new husband, partner, friend or any form of relationship. Just sex and probably only a one off meet at that unless it's a group meet, gangbang or party. Don't think I could be in the swinging g scene if infidelity was a cause for concern. | |||
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"Don't think I could be in the swinging g scene if infidelity was a cause for concern." Judging by most of the female profiles on here, you'd think most of them are Mother Theresa!  | |||
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"The way I see it. If their marriage is in trouble it's not your place to get involved. It will backfire if you tell her. Block him and forget. However just to throw a spanner in the works. Do you think that maybe she might be in on it and testing your friendship to see if you can be trusted, like a reverse honey trap." Do people really do that, test their friends? That's quite messed up. | |||
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"Don't think I could be in the swinging g scene if infidelity was a cause for concern. Judging by most of the female profiles on here, you'd think most of them are Mother Theresa! "True, and some look like her too. | |||
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"The way I see it. If their marriage is in trouble it's not your place to get involved. It will backfire if you tell her. Block him and forget. However just to throw a spanner in the works. Do you think that maybe she might be in on it and testing your friendship to see if you can be trusted, like a reverse honey trap. Do people really do that, test their friends? That's quite messed up." What this lady says! | |||
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"The way I see it. If their marriage is in trouble it's not your place to get involved. It will backfire if you tell her. Block him and forget. However just to throw a spanner in the works. Do you think that maybe she might be in on it and testing your friendship to see if you can be trusted, like a reverse honey trap. Do people really do that, test their friends? That's quite messed up." OP already said her friend knows she's a swinger and watchers her like a hawk so clearly doesn't trust her. | |||
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"Challenge him about it. But don’t tell her, it’ll make you into the bad guy if you do " Why? He's already crossed a line, what's the point apart from to try and restrict his choice to do what he wants? Let lying dogs sleep. | |||
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"The way I see it. If their marriage is in trouble it's not your place to get involved. It will backfire if you tell her. Block him and forget. However just to throw a spanner in the works. Do you think that maybe she might be in on it and testing your friendship to see if you can be trusted, like a reverse honey trap. Do people really do that, test their friends? That's quite messed up. OP already said her friend knows she's a swinger and watchers her like a hawk so clearly doesn't trust her." But if you trust your husband 100% why would you and your partner collude to "test" her? Or do we assume the woman would set up a profile in her husband's name? That seems like all sorts of bother, if I lacked trust to that extent I'd just dump the friend nobody has time for that level of mistrust surely. | |||
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"The way I see it. If their marriage is in trouble it's not your place to get involved. It will backfire if you tell her. Block him and forget. However just to throw a spanner in the works. Do you think that maybe she might be in on it and testing your friendship to see if you can be trusted, like a reverse honey trap. Do people really do that, test their friends? That's quite messed up. OP already said her friend knows she's a swinger and watchers her like a hawk so clearly doesn't trust her. But if you trust your husband 100% why would you and your partner collude to "test" her? Or do we assume the woman would set up a profile in her husband's name? That seems like all sorts of bother, if I lacked trust to that extent I'd just dump the friend nobody has time for that level of mistrust surely." True. | |||
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"Challenge him about it. But don’t tell her, it’ll make you into the bad guy if you do Why? He's already crossed a line, what's the point apart from to try and restrict his choice to do what he wants? Let lying dogs sleep." Why? Because relationships are complicated. It’s often best to keep out of them. You’re being a friend by telling the husband that you know. I don’t know if it should go much further unless the wife is saying she doesn’t trust him or suspects something. Also, the dynamic of the friendship would change forever once the wife knows that her husband finds her friend attractive. There’s no coming back form that. It’s basically a friend lost forever. And chances are she wouldn’t leave her husband anyway. | |||
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"Suggest she creates her own profile, and contacts him herself asking if he likes Pina Colada"  and getting caught in the rain? | |||
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"She knows im a swinger and I see her when we all get together and yes him at times too. She's the kind who thinks they're loves young dream, poor woman " Tell her. I would. | |||
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"Yet again another friends husband has popped up in my inbox... Previously I've never said anything but this one is of a close friend...HELP! " Just messsge him back asking if "wifes name" knows youre on here | |||
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"I’m just here for the update. Don’t mind me
Same "And me | |||
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"Suggest she creates her own profile, and contacts him herself asking if he likes Pina Colada" Genius lol | |||
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"I had a close friend years ago that i found out was being cheated on so i had a word with them and told them so they didnt get shit on and i got made out to be the bad guy and they stopped talking to me when all i did was try and stop them from getting hurt. Moral of the story dont get involved! Not worth the hassle" Bang on. Keep your nose out of other peoples business, especially friends and family. | |||
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