FabSwingers.com forum: Double Standards?

By *atasha_David OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough

I have just read a club re_iew where the re_iewers used it to complain that two men had dared to play in public on a non bi night.

Apparently hetro couples or two women playing would have been acceptable but not two men.

As surprising to me was the fact that when they complained the club management acted quickly to stop it.

Assuming these men had come to the club as part of couples or a couple, it was a couples night, why should this type of play specifically be considered offensive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For exactly the reason you titled your thread!!

female bi play is considered perfectly acceptable and often 'the norm' in clubs - and you can bet no males would ever complain!

Two guys? Apparently totally unacceptable unless a dedicated bi night!

Whether it was a male or female who complained - still signifies the double standards that exist!!

That's just my opinion of course!

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

This is something that annoys me I don't understand why two women are allowed but not two men its wrong surely. The fact the club acted on it too annoys me especially if they hold bi nights. This is narrowmindedness at its best and something we discuss regularly.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 19/09/12 10:46:24]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

It reeks of double standards but nonetheless that is why they hold bi nights. It is sad that we can't accept both and respect difference but hey, we are making progress but still some way to go.

Probably naive to play in an open room and not in private as it will get a reaction and I can just imagine the drama behind it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How dare you suggest that there is no difference between the beautiful life affirming sensual experience of seeing two women together and the disgusting evil perversity that is two men together.

But its just down to peoples preference/choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Homophobia is rife on the so called 'liberal' swinging scene. Hence so many men on here having to label themselves straight when they are bi. And thus losing out when trying to meet people who dare to insist that they have bi on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think clubs should have either mixed night every night or bi nights and none bi nights, but if on none bi nights men cant play in open rooms nor can women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is pure descrimination and no two ways about it ... can't beleive anyone complained much less the managment acting upon it.

Awful, just awful. *angry face*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been to clubs on bi night and hear couples moan about men playing together, when i have asked why they are at a club on a bi night they have replied because the womans bi and shes come to play with women, i mean come on....women can go to a club any night to find women why go on a bi night and make a fuss when you see bi play

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"It is pure descrimination and no two ways about it ... can't beleive anyone complained much less the managment acting upon it.

Awful, just awful. *angry face*"

Clubs descriminate all the time so nothing new there

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By *andCCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

From my understanding of the Equality Act 2010, this constitutes clear discrimination. In this regard, private clubs are no longer immune from prosecution.

Quote from the Home Office publication about the Equalities Act 2010, regarding Members and Associates of Private Clubs.

"It is unlawful for a private club or other association to discriminate against, harass or victimise an existing or potential member or an associate. (An associate is someone who is not a member but who has some or all of the rights of a member because they are a member of an affiliated private club.) A club cannot refuse membership, or grant membership on less favourable terms (such as by applying different conditions or fees) because the person has a protected characteristic – disability, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion or belief, sex or sexual orientation."

Double standards and bigotry of the worst kind, and I would seriously consider taking legal action against any club that treated me in this way. Note the statement; "such as applying different conditions..." Grrrrr!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid I confess to having double standards and probably not alone on that one. If clubs started to allow open homosexual activity I wouldn't go. No idea why, it's just the way I feel.

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By *andCCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"I'm afraid I confess to having double standards and probably not alone on that one. If clubs started to allow open homosexual activity I wouldn't go. No idea why, it's just the way I feel."

At least you show some self awareness by recognizing it as a double standard

Many clubs do allow open homosexual activity, and of course you do have the right to stay away, if you choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/09/12 14:02:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, on the other hand, am different. if I knew I'd see men playing with each other I'd definitely go....it's so hot!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I'm afraid I confess to having double standards and probably not alone on that one. If clubs started to allow open homosexual activity I wouldn't go. No idea why, it's just the way I feel."

just a question... homosexual as in 2 men... homosexual as in 2 women???

I have no idea why there is so much distain when in comes who plays with who in clubs.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and there lies the important word 'choice'.

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

As with every club I have been to , any action taking part in an open room or one with the door open allows anyone who wishes to watch. No one is being forced to stand there and watch, they have the choice to turn around and walk away. What does bug me is when this happens and you hear the comments "that's disgusting" as they leave - everyone is different and as most were taught when children "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything" would apply as you would be deliberately discriminating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it is shocking to that in this day in age and in swinging that this is aloud to go on especially when gem on fem play is activley incouraged. Now if a clubs states no male/male play then the same should stand for females otherwise it's discrimination. If people don't like to see that kind of thing then why go to a club ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will be honest and say I wouldn't enjoy seeing two guys and guess due to how the clubs are I am not often faced with this.

Full male on male sex does make me go eww. But to myself not openly.

If I came across this in a club I'd just go somewhere else to watch something I did like.

But then I do not enjoy seeing girl on girl either.

Cali

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By *andCCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

I do believe in freedom of speech, and I would defend anyone's right to express their _iews, even if they were radically different to my own. But come on; freedom of speech apart, it is certainly ill-mannered and very rude to be openly critical of others, when they might hear and be hurt, or upset by your comments. And it clearly is double standards, if the only widely accepted homosexual acts are considered to be between girl and girl. As Cali suggests; look or stay away if you don't like this stuff.

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By *he Reliability FactorMan
over a year ago

near oxford

"I'm afraid I confess to having double standards and probably not alone on that one. If clubs started to allow open homosexual activity I wouldn't go. No idea why, it's just the way I feel.

just a question... homosexual as in 2 men... homosexual as in 2 women???

I have no idea why there is so much distain when in comes who plays with who in clubs....."

well said sir!!

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

"From my understanding of the Equality Act 2010, this constitutes clear discrimination. In this regard, private clubs are no longer immune from prosecution.

Quote from the Home Office publication about the Equalities Act 2010, regarding Members and Associates of Private Clubs.

Ok, interesting side point to this -

We know most clubs try to keep the numbers down for single men, but encourage single women, by charging a low entry fee (or nothing) to single women, and an exorbitantly high entry fee to single men.

Reading the above would suggest that this is discriminatory on grounds of gender bias?

Any thoughts?

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By *andCCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Ok, interesting side point to this -

We know most clubs try to keep the numbers down for single men, but encourage single women, by charging a low entry fee (or nothing) to single women, and an exorbitantly high entry fee to single men.

Reading the above would suggest that this is discriminatory on grounds of gender bias?

Any thoughts?"

Good point; it would appear to be discriminatory to charge single men more than single woman. The usual lower couples charge could be justified as a discount rate ie non discriminatory with regard to the Equality Act 2010.

But I'm getting a little off-topic here; sorry....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Ok, interesting side point to this -

We know most clubs try to keep the numbers down for single men, but encourage single women, by charging a low entry fee (or nothing) to single women, and an exorbitantly high entry fee to single men.

Reading the above would suggest that this is discriminatory on grounds of gender bias?

Any thoughts?"

A lot of clubs wouldn't survive without the margins from multiple single guy's entry fees, nor the attraction of single bi females that are so highly sought after to couples... it is a fact, will it change..... NO.

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

Its illegal to treat people different due to gender, race or religion. Charging different entrance fees would fall under one of these. But who complain about this to the authorities?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is and against discrimination law but guessing no one will push it ...

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