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The BHM debate...

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By *iss_Cali_xx OP   Couple
over a year ago

Herne Bay

I'm really into big guys, I always have been. But there isn't the same level of appreciation for big handsome men as there is for bbw's, there is no body positivity aimed at men, and there is just as much body shaming going on where men are concerned. It's something that has been playing over in my head, why is it this way?

Could it be that women are plainly more shallow than men when it comes to looks? I don't want this to be true, but I guess when you consider the generations of magazine articles and pressure society has put on women to look a certain way, maybe that has had a knock on effect to how women not only view themselves and each other, but men too? I mean, there was a time when both men and women preferred larger partners, certainly in King Henry VIII's day, so is it all down to what were made to think by our peers and larger influences???

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

To me it's all about how they treat me, the way they speak, act towards me/around me...

Simple as, men could be gym fit, but if they are an arse hole towards me then it's a no from me.! I have many swinger friends of all shapes, sizes... all of them truly lovely people, and naughty too!

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By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I believe if you deep dive into the body positivity movement, the appreciation for all bodies is there. I'm not entirely sure if bigger men are of a disadvantage to other men on here but from a personal perspective, I know many bigger men who have no problems attracting people but I guess it all depends on the individual really. I for one ADORE big men and they definitely catch my attention more than any other on here.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I thought this was going to be a black history month thread!

I think when women have the upper hand in choosing a partner due to the numbers game they can be more brutal. It's not fair but it is.

Today's gym culture and muscles culture will be applying similar pressure to men as media has to women since day dot.

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By *orfun8181Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Body image for men is a real issue that gets ignored all the time. I joke that I’m the Fattest anorexic you will ever meet because it’s true, I was admitted into hospital in my early teen with anorexia as I felt I was to fat! Over time it changed from body image to a control issue (I felt it was the only thing I could control) although this is something I have under control now (17st) but at times of heighten stress I start missing meals. I’m a big guy and I love me!

Sorry not sorry for the over share.

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By *riendly BiMan
over a year ago

h

I’m a bigger guy and the amount of times I’ve been turned down because of my body size is unreal. I am me and I’m not going to change for anyone. I’m not rude and always courteous towards others but some see the belly and it’s like I’m alien to them. The way the media projects on how we are supposed to look is ridiculous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Body size is an easy criteria to discount someone on here. I have a bigger Dad bod but put me up against a hard muscle body and it's pretty obvious who'll win. However, take a chance on getting to know somebody and you may well be surprised.

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

I'm a much bigger guy but also an ugly bugger haha. Seriously though, think i look awful in pictures but get told my pics don't do me justice. Always been a relatively shy person though with insecurities/anxiety but try to put a brave face on it

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By *ussybagderMan
over a year ago

Salford

Women are shallow obviously

They go with anyone over 6ft n skinny that means even if the person is absolute nuts shitty personality

They Don't car they just want some one taller n look fit

Imagine if a guy turning a woman down cose she's big or she's short the roar be hooooooooooooooooo

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

I think the fact this thread seems to have flopped just says it all really.

Floppy things aren't much use on fab....

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By *iss_Cali_xx OP   Couple
over a year ago

Herne Bay

I think there are some very interesting perspectives here. There are definitely women out there who love big men for sure, it's just a shame it doesn't seem to be the same level of appreciation as there is for bbw's. And you're definitely right, the fact there are so few comments on the thread speaks volumes.

The comment about today's gym culture, it will be interesting to see if that has the same long term effect!

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

Is it not more about owning your body and having the confidence in it that is sexy? I mean, male friendships can be *ruthless* and I suspect that any negative body image would come from being told, in no uncertain terms that you’re “a fat prick mate” on the regular

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere


"Is it not more about owning your body and having the confidence in it that is sexy? I mean, male friendships can be *ruthless* and I suspect that any negative body image would come from being told, in no uncertain terms that you’re “a fat prick mate” on the regular"

That doesn't bother me in the slightest when it's banter with mates, but when a stranger says it to you it's bang out of order

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh


"Is it not more about owning your body and having the confidence in it that is sexy? I mean, male friendships can be *ruthless* and I suspect that any negative body image would come from being told, in no uncertain terms that you’re “a fat prick mate” on the regular

That doesn't bother me in the slightest when it's banter with mates, but when a stranger says it to you it's bang out of order"

I know it’s not easy, but you shouldn’t give so much of your happiness to strangers. If you feel comfortable and confident in your body you really shouldn’t let the opinion of a randomer effect it so badly. I know that is much easier said than done, but if you can manage it you’ll feel fantastic

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By *romsgrove1Man
over a year ago

bromsgrove

I also think women and couples are so inundated with a whoke range of guys that unless they tick a very specific box the guys get ignored, bigger guys it seems are a niche in themselves and when coupled with this bombardment get looked past very quickly by a majority of people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also think women and couples are so inundated with a whoke range of guys that unless they tick a very specific box the guys get ignored, bigger guys it seems are a niche in themselves and when coupled with this bombardment get looked past very quickly by a majority of people"

I think these are convenient untruths that guys convince themselves of when they're feeling a bit left out

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By *romsgrove1Man
over a year ago

bromsgrove


"I also think women and couples are so inundated with a whoke range of guys that unless they tick a very specific box the guys get ignored, bigger guys it seems are a niche in themselves and when coupled with this bombardment get looked past very quickly by a majority of people

I think these are convenient untruths that guys convince themselves of when they're feeling a bit left out "

I stand to be corrected but know its the experience of quite a lot of guys here.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Could it be that women are plainly more shallow than men when it comes to looks? "

I've no idea about anyone else, but I myself am a bit

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

It’s because body positivity is female focus. Men don’t get body positivity

Women are told that whatever that are, your perfect the way you are, don’t change, any guy would be lucky to have you

Men are told they need to improve. Hit the gym, dress better, be more confident, be funny, be charming, have a successful career. You are not good enough as you are.

Biologically that probably comes down to the fact that women have never struggled to pass on their genes. So they don’t have that competitive “survival of the fittest” as strongly in them. By being female you almost get a free pass you’ll have children. Men don’t have that. For everyone 1 male ancestor, you have 2 female ancestors.

Socially it’s probably because women are the biggest consumers in the market. The best way to get people to consume is to make them unhappy. The body positivity movement tells women that the body they have that makes them unhealthy and unhappy is actually fine. This keeps them in that body. That keeps them consuming products. It’s no secret that if you look at who the biggest funders are of the body positivity movement it’s mainly fast food companies and female beauty/fashion companies. They know that people who are happy and confident don’t need to buy stuff to feel better

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

I don't see how anyone can be offended by not being someone's type, disheartened, upset, disappointed yes, but some comments read to me as if it's somehow unfair that women fancy gym fit guys, it isn't, at the end of the day being fat is a default, anyone can be fat (aside from those lucky few who can't) the gym fit guys have grafted to look good and are reaping the rewards, it's as simple as that.

- A fat bloke

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh


"I don't see how anyone can be offended by not being someone's type, disheartened, upset, disappointed yes, but some comments read to me as if it's somehow unfair that women fancy gym fit guys, it isn't, at the end of the day being fat is a default, anyone can be fat (aside from those lucky few who can't) the gym fit guys have grafted to look good and are reaping the rewards, it's as simple as that.

- A fat bloke"

As an aside to this, lots of the gym fit guys get labelled as thick and one dimensional. The grass isn’t always greener lads. Be happy with who you are, if you can’t accept you how can you expect anyone else to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

every post on fab putting women who are bbw on fab is posted by men us women generally dont put men in pigion holes i dont if i fancy sexualy then i fancy sexually but it really is you men who categorize us size wise like everyother post big cock small cock big tits small tits beard no beard and on and on mostly posted by men ... so there it is you guys do your own damage with your insecurities ...

i married a big guy with a belly always been big all his ex girlfriends were striking pretty and all size 10 and below im size 6 / 8 i married him i love him and always will ...dont think we see it the same way you guys do ...

as for calling women shallow for having a 'type'' is a pretty shallow thing to say too ...

been swinging for 28 years most men we have met/ ive met have been dad bods or guys with belly not going to lie ive meet a few gym bunnies too but as i said i can fancy sexually all types...

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

I’m already big enough for the two of us. That’s why I go for medium to slim guys. (Not too small though as then I feel like a giant hippo next to them)

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By *ad Bod AdonisMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I've always said this. On Facebook you often see memes along the lines of "real men like curvy girls".In the illustration the curvy girl is with an Adonis with a perfect body.

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By *T IS KEV hubby of jenCouple
over a year ago

Llangollen

everyone says they like big men when theyre chubby or dad bods not when your pushing 30stone and flabby everyone says im handsome when they can only see my actual chin not the flabby frog kneck/chin not to mention how my average dick looks fucking miniscule lol

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney

I think this thread deserves some love and some appreciation. Calling all the BHM lovers out there, come and say hi.

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

I love this thread and it’s positive vibe. I love fat bodies men and women neither can be fat enough for me

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By *ingerbeardman-Man
over a year ago

Sutton-in-Ashfield

As a big guy, I do find most slimmer people tend not to be into me, which is cool, but I do love it when I find someone who sees in me the things that I can't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fluctuate between dad bod and bhm, always have but think there are so many guys here that most will be ignored, more so if don't fit into certain types.

Think at 38" waist am as skinny as I get my body can't shrink lol.

Do think there is very little love for the larger guy as everyone says oh love a rugby player but a darts player is off the table lol

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney

I would fit you in the dad bod section more than in the bhm section. But doesn't really matter, everyone is great regardless of the way that they are.

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney

Bump

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By *pache1971Man
over a year ago

Livingston

Yeah I think I would fit in this group. Would also say that due to the number of single guys on here, many couples and females can pick what they like. I know that being short, fat and married would put me way down the pecking order.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good topic op.

Owl (M) writing: Growing up we have it stamped into us that women prefer a massive tool and it is only when we grow up that we realise this is far from across the board true. Even then most men don't accept that the size of our manhood is of little importance compared to our personality and behaviour.

In men's changing rooms there are those WE that floss their peritineums with their towels and show it all off while less confident tend to rub down with their towels around their waist. However we don't insult each other about size openly or in groups. We are too insecure as a gender to hold such discussions.

We need fixing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think more awareness is needed for terrible selfie takers rather than body sizes. I’m way cuter than my head shots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly the OP is right. Women are more judgemental over looks when it comes to men sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sadly the OP is right. Women are more judgemental over looks when it comes to men sadly."

I tend to agree. I'm sure everyone knows of the OKC and other studies showing that women see 80% of men as unattractive.

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney


"Sadly the OP is right. Women are more judgemental over looks when it comes to men sadly.

I tend to agree. I'm sure everyone knows of the OKC and other studies showing that women see 80% of men as unattractive. "

Ouch... that's a shitty percentage haha

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