FabSwingers.com forum: gf wont join me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been on this site for ages now but never taken it as far as a meet because my gf has no interest. I have decided to go behind her back and just go for it. I would like some feedback about this to see if I am doin the right thing. Ps I haven't had sex with her regular for about 4 yrs!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is your life, not ours. The fact that you seek approval that you are "doing the right thing" says alot about what you think already.

Hope you find happiness x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if i was you i wouldnt go there. talk to her and tell her you need your sex life back try and spice it up abit go buy her nice underwear. cheating is not the answer at all. you will regret it and may loose her is it worth it?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

If that is what you want, that is your choice.

Understand the cost, there may one if you are found out, if you are... Take it like man.

It is when people bleat that they look for sex outside of a relationship due to the failing of their loved one is beyond contempt.

Let people know you are attached to allow for an informed choice

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

She may not have an interest in swinging, but what's her opinion on you seeking alternative sex

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By *hell and jWoman
over a year ago

Worksop

honest is the best police x x going behind her back will end in tearsx x

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By *hell and jWoman
over a year ago

Worksop

opps ment to put policy not policey

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

"Been on this site for ages now but never taken it as far as a meet because my gf has no interest. I have decided to go behind her back and just go for it. I would like some feedback about this to see if I am doin the right thing. Ps I haven't had sex with her regular for about 4 yrs!!"

I'm not judging you though some inevitably will but have you considered asking her how she feels about you playing on your own? She may say go ahead if you reassure her it's for no strings safe sex. Then your conscience may be clear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others say its your life and something only you can decide. Once you've crossed that line you can't uncross it so think long and hard.

You've been on for several months snd it seems you have thought things through so if it's something you truly want to do then best thing is to be honest with any potiential meets. Some won't want to meet but there are done that won't be put off.

Good luck in whatever you choose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting. I might try and talk to her again and see if she may allow me to go ahead. I have tried the underwear, flowers, toys and stuff. And the meals and saying she can play on her own but I am now running out of ideas. Also becoming a lot more horny so I gotta let it out soon lol

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

"Interesting. I might try and talk to her again and see if she may allow me to go ahead. I have tried the underwear, flowers, toys and stuff. And the meals and saying she can play on her own but I am now running out of ideas. Also becoming a lot more horny so I gotta let it out soon lol"

It worked for me. You can but try. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It worked for me. You can but try. Good luck"
thank u, I am gonna give it a go. Prob be single tomorrow tho lol x

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I am gonna give it a go. Prob be single tomorrow tho lol x"

As you've not had sex for almost 4 years, sounds more like an underlying psychological issue, have you explored that avenue 1st?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am gonna give it a go. Prob be single tomorrow tho lol x

As you've not had sex for almost 4 years, sounds more like an underlying psychological issue, have you explored that avenue 1st?

"
well there was a problem with her lady parts which was all cleared up in a few months but since then it all stopped. We have talked about this a lot but it ain't gettin better

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

There are plenty of agencies willing to help, go back yo your GP together, and ask for a referral

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not judging in the slightest but i guess you have asked for opinions..... personally think honesty is the best policy, we swing as a couple, we'd only do what we were both comfortable with and if one of us wasn't we wouldn't do it or stop

sounds like a difficult situation to be in but personally don't think going behind her back is the best way forward, but only you will know if that is the right or wrong thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is your life, not ours. The fact that you seek approval that you are "doing the right thing" says alot about what you think already.

Hope you find happiness x"

and you'll only find that happiness in your current relationship if you sit down, talk and really open up so she knows what is on your mind.... Cheating won't solve anything, and it could open up a whole can of worms you weren't expecting... in all sorts of ways....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"not judging in the slightest but i guess you have asked for opinions..... personally think honesty is the best policy, we swing as a couple, we'd only do what we were both comfortable with and if one of us wasn't we wouldn't do it or stop

sounds like a difficult situation to be in but personally don't think going behind her back is the best way forward, but only you will know if that is the right or wrong thing to do"
thank u for your opinion. I am gonna take your advice and be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best thing we can suggest is that you come clean to her.

Tell her your intentions, see what her reaction is, if she wants to go along with it all's well and good.

However if she doesn't and isn't happy about the road your wanting to take it's make your mind up time.

Its up to you, is the odd chance of sex on the site more important to you than a 4+ year relationship?

If the answer to that is yes, then the best thing is for you both to go your separate ways.

Life's too short to waste on a relationship that's run its course, the hard part is having the strength to admit it and take the appropriate action.

I'm afraid the bottom line is...either shit or get off the pot, for both your sakes.

Good Luck!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"honest is the best police x x going behind her back will end in tearsx x "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am gonna give it a go. Prob be single tomorrow tho lol x

As you've not had sex for almost 4 years, sounds more like an underlying psychological issue, have you explored that avenue 1st?

well there was a problem with her lady parts which was all cleared up in a few months but since then it all stopped. We have talked about this a lot but it ain't gettin better"

Have look into other things,

For an example, my Shaz is always horny but lost her sex drive completely a while back, found out it was the birth control pills she was on, switched to an implant and now she's a nymph again lol.

Myself I think the time you are spending on fabs should be the time you are spending working out what is wrong with your partner, that is just me though.

Tony

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By *imon and saffyCouple
over a year ago

southampton

Not making a judgement just an observation .

If she hasn't wanted sex for four years why did you think swinging was going to change her mind ?

There's deeper problems here. You BOTH need to seek help to try and resolve them before either of you ventures into swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am gonna give it a go. Prob be single tomorrow tho lol x

As you've not had sex for almost 4 years, sounds more like an underlying psychological issue, have you explored that avenue 1st?

well there was a problem with her lady parts which was all cleared up in a few months but since then it all stopped. We have talked about this a lot but it ain't gettin better"

But I am guessing that she is still very uncomfortable about them even though she may say she is fine with it, in which case swinging is not really the answer nor is cheating on her because that would just push her over the edge and make her really miserable, plus lose trust in males

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

Your choice. But to swing when in a relationship you have to have a rock solid relarionship and complete trust. If you don't then its not something to get into. Trying this as a couple when the relationship is not good or at least not as good as it should be is a very bad idea. Going behind her back now would likely make doing this as a couple very difficult. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things must be desperate if you have to seek relationship advice on a swinging site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My honest _iew is if you ain't had regular sex for 4 years your in a friendshship not a relationship!!! I love how some people think flowers and underwear can change everything, it very seldom makes more than a fleeting difference!!! Mate if you need sex and your mrs aint giving it ya, but you don't want to leave her yes your doing the right thing, just be honest with people on here up front, will make getting meets very hard but will mean you don't get a bunny boiler in the end, well hopefully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its up to you but in my opinion, if you love your g/f and respect her, dont cheat on her. It might be she cant help how she feels and finding out your meeting others for sex could destroy her.

You must love her to stay with her for 4 years without sex, so talk to her, get help and respect how she feels.

if after all that, she still doesnt want sex then in my opinion you both need to make a choice, either stay in a sexless relationship, swing alone or end the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a choice to make

a) stay with her, things will never really change if you do

b) leave and seek a more compatible partner.

All I would say is do not waste your own life in futility and ultimate bitterness for a false sense of obligation and decency

STAY AND ACCEPT OR LEAVE AND MOVE ON

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would honestly say say to you don't go behind her back because looking at it from a different angle which has not been mentioned and this is the best scenario that i can think off.

What would happen if your gf found out that you was on this site together with your password etc, she could then see that who you have contacted and seen and then go on to make that person/persons life hell. I am only saying this because i have had a stalker in the past and it is not a pleasant experience at all.

Sit and talk to her and if you lose her (it looks like that it is on the way out anyway) then you can hold your head high knowing that you didn't go behind her back and move on.......

(Perky)

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