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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So im a crossdresser who wants to be female full time whos feeling ashamed feeling like this from time to time i go through phases where im fine dressing then other times it get that bad i throw all my clothes/wigs ect in the bin because i find it hard to accept this is who i am.. i want to come out and fill time dress but any time i start building the courage i get terrible anxiety and worry what people will think of me and even think to myself just be happy as a male and deal with it . Its mentally draining .. anyone any advice or been through it?

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"So im a crossdresser who wants to be female full time whos feeling ashamed feeling like this from time to time i go through phases where im fine dressing then other times it get that bad i throw all my clothes/wigs ect in the bin because i find it hard to accept this is who i am.. i want to come out and fill time dress but any time i start building the courage i get terrible anxiety and worry what people will think of me and even think to myself just be happy as a male and deal with it . Its mentally draining .. anyone any advice or been through it? "

This sounds like a terrible place to be and I really hope that things improve for you ASAP. I do however wonder whether this forum is the place to find appropriate and meaningful support for what sound to be deep and complex feelings.

No doubt there are support groups out there for just this type of thing.

I'm not discouraging you from asking for help here - far from it - it's very brave and should be commended - what I'm suggesting is that you also look beyond these forums for stronger support.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So im a crossdresser who wants to be female full time whos feeling ashamed feeling like this from time to time i go through phases where im fine dressing then other times it get that bad i throw all my clothes/wigs ect in the bin because i find it hard to accept this is who i am.. i want to come out and fill time dress but any time i start building the courage i get terrible anxiety and worry what people will think of me and even think to myself just be happy as a male and deal with it . Its mentally draining .. anyone any advice or been through it?

This sounds like a terrible place to be and I really hope that things improve for you ASAP. I do however wonder whether this forum is the place to find appropriate and meaningful support for what sound to be deep and complex feelings.

No doubt there are support groups out there for just this type of thing.

I'm not discouraging you from asking for help here - far from it - it's very brave and should be commended - what I'm suggesting is that you also look beyond these forums for stronger support. "

Yeah maybe worth talking to someone. Thanks for your kind words

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By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago

kinkville

My advice is to take baby steps. If you want to go out in public femme, and you are worried, do it far from your locality. When you get overwhelmed or ashamed, just put your clothes away, no need to purge. Once events open up, go to as many as you can. You might find that is enough instead of going down the full time route. The few occasion I do dress, I realise very quickly, it's a big effort to get the right look. Not sure I'd still love to dress if it was everyday. (Who an I kidding lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My advice is to take baby steps. If you want to go out in public femme, and you are worried, do it far from your locality. When you get overwhelmed or ashamed, just put your clothes away, no need to purge. Once events open up, go to as many as you can. You might find that is enough instead of going down the full time route. The few occasion I do dress, I realise very quickly, it's a big effort to get the right look. Not sure I'd still love to dress if it was everyday. (Who an I kidding lol)"

Thank you so much for the advice

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My advice is to take baby steps. If you want to go out in public femme, and you are worried, do it far from your locality. When you get overwhelmed or ashamed, just put your clothes away, no need to purge. Once events open up, go to as many as you can. You might find that is enough instead of going down the full time route. The few occasion I do dress, I realise very quickly, it's a big effort to get the right look. Not sure I'd still love to dress if it was everyday. (Who an I kidding lol)"

I'm thinking something similar. Go somewhere where people are likely to support you, with friends. An accepting club, a place like Blackpool, or Sparkle in Manchester (thinking from my Manchester base, sorry). Little steps. See how that goes, see what you get out of it and what you need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My advice is to take baby steps. If you want to go out in public femme, and you are worried, do it far from your locality. When you get overwhelmed or ashamed, just put your clothes away, no need to purge. Once events open up, go to as many as you can. You might find that is enough instead of going down the full time route. The few occasion I do dress, I realise very quickly, it's a big effort to get the right look. Not sure I'd still love to dress if it was everyday. (Who an I kidding lol)

I'm thinking something similar. Go somewhere where people are likely to support you, with friends. An accepting club, a place like Blackpool, or Sparkle in Manchester (thinking from my Manchester base, sorry). Little steps. See how that goes, see what you get out of it and what you need."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My advice is to take baby steps. If you want to go out in public femme, and you are worried, do it far from your locality. When you get overwhelmed or ashamed, just put your clothes away, no need to purge. Once events open up, go to as many as you can. You might find that is enough instead of going down the full time route. The few occasion I do dress, I realise very quickly, it's a big effort to get the right look. Not sure I'd still love to dress if it was everyday. (Who an I kidding lol)

I'm thinking something similar. Go somewhere where people are likely to support you, with friends. An accepting club, a place like Blackpool, or Sparkle in Manchester (thinking from my Manchester base, sorry). Little steps. See how that goes, see what you get out of it and what you need."

Yeah might try that first thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As luck would have it there's a club night not too far away run especially for tgirls with experience & newbies alike. It's called tBirds & runs at clubf on the 2nd Thursday of every month. They've helped countless new girls begin to explore themselves. Look up clubf & tbirds in the club directory on here.

They go to great lengths to welcome everyone & you can change there too.. or go in guy mode til you feel more comfortable.

Re the guilt & purging etc most of us have been there at some point or other. It's so sad & wasteful but no amount of anyone reassuring you is enough I know. I've been there. Best thing is to try to learn to accept it as part of you. Oh that's SO easy to say isn't it!

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