FabSwingers.com forum: Playing while the kids are in bed!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been getting a lot of messages lately bout couples only playing to accommodate while the kids are in bed. Now don't get me wrong I would never tell a person how to raise their child but I find this to be immoral and I wouldn't personally arrange a play date with my kids at home. What do my fellow forumties think?

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By *andWnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

Same for us,it is our golden rule that never gets broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us personally, we would never contemplate a meeting with anybody with children in the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no meets with the kids about ever ever ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would NEVER meet anyone if their kids were in the house. We had a couple once say they wanted us to meet at theirs while their toddler was asleep and that if the toddler woke up all play would stop till settled again. Put us right off and we said no way. I know it's everyones choice but just not for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a couple at their house recently. We had chatted and were just about to start playing when little feet were heard on the stairs - their little girl had woken up. Needless to say I made my excuses and left rather quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own but personally I wouldnt meet with children home

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

wont accommodate as I have a son and dont fancy going to anyones house whilst there are children there. Not for me at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's wrong and i would never meet with children in the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first ever meet was with a couple who told us not to arrive till after 11 as the odd would be all tucked up by then .

We kinda thought that must be normal and thought no more about it - turned up at 11.30 , had a great time and left three hours later - totally buzzing !

No problem , and we have had a fair few similar meets since - if a couple or single female have kids it isn't easy to get babysitters and where do you go ? Should children get 24/7 priority in ones life ?

Each to their own but we don't see a problem as long as the kids are tucked up and don't get up - interestingly we had her 5 year old come and lve with us full time five months ago and we only play in clubs now - he sometimes wakes in the night so won't accommodate x

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I've been getting a lot of messages lately bout couples only playing to accommodate while the kids are in bed. Now don't get me wrong I would never tell a person how to raise their child but I find this to be immoral and I wouldn't personally arrange a play date with my kids at home. What do my fellow forumties think?"

Depends on how old the kids are.

Playing when teenagers are home is asking for it. If they are toddlers - what's the problem with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how old the kids are.

Playing when teenagers are home is asking for it. If they are toddlers - what's the problem with that?"
Toddlers have bad dreams...and when they have bad dreams they seek their parents...work it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never invite anyone round here while my kids was home, i have been to peoples home and their kids have been in and ive turned round and walked out again

I respect my kids to much to bring strangers into their home and fuck while they are in bed so im not going to do it to someone elses childrens home

Personally i think if your that addicted to this you cant even wait till you have a child free night before you arrange meets, or you cant arrange to meet away from home you need to sort your priorities out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe there's anything wrong to meet at someone's house for a social, nothing wrong holding a party ...

But to actively 'play' whilst children are their is a no-no.

As a single dad I wouldn't dream of doing so, with my daughter asleep upstairs

So can only accomodate on special occasions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/09/12 10:25:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never invite anyone round here while my kids was home, i have been to peoples home and their kids have been in and ive turned round and walked out again

I respect my kids to much to bring strangers into their home and fuck while they are in bed so im not going to do it to someone elses childrens home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we are lucky, both of our teenagers know what we do and have done for a couple of years. Only the youngest (17) is still at home and if we have visits he goes out or stays over with friends.

when they were younger though we would not arrange playtimes at home, it just didn't feel right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how old the kids are.

Playing when teenagers are home is asking for it. If they are toddlers - what's the problem with that?"

call me Mrs cynical but after all this is a internet site, but there are lots of single mums on here and there will be guys preying on the single mums, knowing they are the most likely ones to invite guys to their houses as its harder for them to get sitters, imagine how you would feel if you met someone for a drink, he seems like a nice guy, you arrange to meet him again and when back at your house he makes a move on your children, how would you ever live with yourself?

And i know thats a horrible thing to think about but this is the real world and things like that do happen

when it comes to my children i trust noone, even if i have met someone 10 times i would still never have them here with my kids in, and i get lots of guys asking if they can come over late at night and we can stay down stairs, i find it insultive and to me it shows the low opinion men have of women on here that they think they will do anything for a fuck, including risking their kids safty

no matter if they 1, 10 or 16 your childs safty should be first and formost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

couldnt agree more nn x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't believe there's anything wrong to meet at someone's house for a social, nothing wrong holding a party ...

But to actively 'play' whilst children are their is a no-no.

As a single dad I wouldn't dream of doing so, with my daughter asleep upstairs

So can only accomodate on special occasions

just out of interest would you hold a party at your home with your child in the house or is that just something you would do at someone elses house with their kids in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't believe there's anything wrong to meet at someone's house for a social, nothing wrong holding a party ...

But to actively 'play' whilst children are their is a no-no.

As a single dad I wouldn't dream of doing so, with my daughter asleep upstairs

So can only accomodate on special occasions

just out of interest would you hold a party at your home with your child in the house or is that just something you would do at someone elses house with their kids in?

When I say party - I'm not talking in the sense of a swinging party, but a social one with friends ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have meets with my kids in bed. I've been swinging for a long time. Not really had an issue. But as I've said before. Due to medical issues my children are on tablets which do pretty much mean they don't wake up.

I state it on my profile and to be honest it's mostly regular guys that I've met a few times. I see it as little different to having sex with master while they are here.

My room has a lock on it so they couldn't just walk in no matter what. I mostly meet one to one at home. But have had one mmf here.

To be honest I invite few people to my house and mostly meet at clubs or go outside.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how old the kids are.

Playing when teenagers are home is asking for it. If they are toddlers - what's the problem with that?

And i know thats a horrible thing to think about but this is the real world and things like that do happen

no matter if they 1, 10 or 16 your childs safty should be first and formost"

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon

Not having kids I can't comment from that side, however it would make me a little uneasy knowing that the kids were in bed and could possibly walk in on us at any time, would hate to think that poor little Tommy will be traumatised for the rest of his life after seeing his mum being spit roasted by daddy and a stranger on the living room floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's down to personal preference, I don't think it's an issue if the kids are young. If they were to see a sight of their parents having sex its not a bad thing how much would they actually understand of it? I'd say that they won't grow up to be perverts or nut jobs because of that.

I disagree quite strongly with the post about single guys basically grooming the single mums to get to abuse the kids. I'm sure it happens OCCASIONALLY but it could happen meeting a guy at the pub, club or in the shops. If we all start thinking like that no one will do anything. Like the time the sun paper printed loads of pictures of peodo's (they are complete scum and should be castrated I agree) but loads of people who looked a "bit" like them got beaten up and persecuted when they had done nothing wrong. One guy who was a paediatrician (child doctor) got beaten up cause the morons couldn't spell!!!

Life is full of dangers from walking to the shops to driving in a car. If we're sensible and take sensible precautions we have a very very slim chance of anything happening to us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i met a couple and went to them , we played on the lounge floor then we heard kids upstairs whichi wasnt told about so the guy said i could carry on playing he would sort the kids , he went upstaire with a bloody great errection , yes i did leave , it made my willy go soft , xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I disagree quite strongly with the post about single guys basically grooming the single mums to get to abuse the kids. I'm sure it happens OCCASIONALLY but it could happen meeting a guy at the pub, club or in the shops. If we all start thinking like that no one will do anything. "

i never said single guys was grooming mums, i said it could happen, not only could it happen it does happen, and yes it maybe 1 in a 1000 chance but im not taking that 1 chance with my kids

Your also right that it could happen with someone you meet in the pub/club etc, but then i dont take guys back to my house i pick up in pubs either

As for if we think like that we wouldnt do anything, thats rubbish, i always put my kids safty first i never have guys to my house but i get plenty of meets, there are clubs, hotels, dogging etc there are plenty of places to meet and have sex without having to have guys back to my house, its just some are to lazy to make the effort to meet else where

Sorry just my opinion and you dont have to agree but thats just how i feel

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think its immoral. Could never have a meet when my son was around. I would also, from a mans point of vies, what is stopping someone saying yu had an unhealthy interest in the children.

In imho there are risks, no matter how small, that would never meet with children aroung

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a meesage from a guy a while ago responding to my meet today, he said he worked with a guy with learning difficulties who was in bed and did i want to go round!! I didnt even reply and blocked him......That was total mis-use of trust and sick and he should be sacked for that

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"I got a meesage from a guy a while ago responding to my meet today, he said he worked with a guy with learning difficulties who was in bed and did i want to go round!! I didnt even reply and blocked him......That was total mis-use of trust and sick and he should be sacked for that"

That is just sick, and you did the right thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking in to mummy being spit roasted would be a lasting image. Then again walking in when we are in our own but she's tied, blindfolded and having her backside paddled may raise some questions too.

For their protection it's perhaps better we abstain from any sex while they're in the house.

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"Walking in to mummy being spit roasted would be a lasting image. Then again walking in when we are in our own but she's tied, blindfolded and having her backside paddled may raise some questions too.

For their protection it's perhaps better we abstain from any sex while they're in the house. "

Probably best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should children get 24/7 priority in ones life ? x"

YES they should!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should children get 24/7 priority in ones life ? x

YES they should!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably best

That's a shame we were hoping you might pop round

Don't really agree with the righteous morality but I can sympathize that it's much more uncomfortable for the people going in to that situation.

- Is it also wrong for a 'regular' (non swinging) single woman/man to ever invite somebody back and to have sex with them if they have kids in the house?

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

That is why I would never bring a guy back to mine - ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Down to personal preference but we wouldn't go to a meet with a child in the house, just wouldn't feel right

Don't think I'd live with myself if little timmy woke up and walked in on us and his mummy getting down and dirty!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing everyone worried about being walked in on don't have sex themselves with kids in the house.

It's pretty easy to make sure your not disturbed. And I'm guessing no-one has friends in. As the people that I normally have to mine are friends.

I have male friends from none swinging world over a lot. Known them many years. One even takes my lad out for the day.

It is each to their own but don't see how doing something natural can be wrong.

Cali

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

as people have said, each to thier own, when our kids were toddlers we did have 1 or 2 meets downstairs, not once did they get up. Parents know thier kids better than anyone, if your children sleep soundly every night then having a meet can be ok, if your children are likely to get up then its probably not the best idea.

now are kids are older we dont accomodate whilst they are in.

simples really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never would, had a meet once at another couples house and they kept checking on kids, we left and couldnt play, we have fun together at home with our little one in bed asleep but would never have a meet j

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing everyone worried about being walked in on don't have sex themselves with kids in the house.

It's pretty easy to make sure your not disturbed. And I'm guessing no-one has friends in. As the people that I normally have to mine are friends.

I have male friends from none swinging world over a lot. Known them many years. One even takes my lad out for the day.

It is each to their own but don't see how doing something natural can be wrong.

Cali"

Don't thin its wrong so to speak just preference

Having sex on our front lawn could be seen as natural, but think our neighbours would strongly argue its wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's wrong ...plain and simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/09/12 13:06:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own but we wouldn't ever do it. Not saying its wrong for others but even the idea makes me feel a bit weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's wrong ...plain and simple"

Good to know, thanks for clearing that up.

"Having sex on our front lawn could be seen as natural, but think our neighbours would strongly argue its wrong

Only one way to find out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saying that. I have Had to lay down rules with my daughter who wanted to have some meets here in the day during school holiday.

I was not impressed. As I would not be introducing my kids to meets. And I also didn't like how many people were getting my address. I meet less at home now that I have my other daughters here too. But tend to meet 10pm weekdays. Although do sometimes go to others houses. But I have to make sure it's on camera for master too.

But then the kids don't notice the relationship between master and I despite when together pretty much always doing something.

I will sit cuddled up with my best friend on the sofa etc. I think it depends how you are around your kids in general.

I do what I feel is right by my kids and actually had social services sent over by a friend that back stabbed me. I was honest about my meets. And they after an investigation were happy that no risk mental or emotional or physical was there to my children for meeting at home.

I always make it clear and does say on my profile. So no-one that meets me at home in the evening is surprised.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is a definet no no but maybe it dependshow old they are??...i dont think the gadget would work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's wrong ...plain and simple

Good to know, thanks for clearing that up.

Having sex on our front lawn could be seen as natural, but think our neighbours would strongly argue its wrong

Only one way to find out..."
no probs...your welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its wrong to have sex downstairs while your kids are in bed downstairs, I'm guessing all parents never have sex again until their kids are grown up and moved out?? I'm a single mom, spent the last year focusing on bringing my boy up, now its rime for some me to have well earned fun but unfortunately I dont have the luxury of alternate weekends free when he goes to his dad and I also only have my parents as sitters. I have invited a man to my house to play long after my son is in bed. My child is a very deep sleeper and hardly ever wakes. Please dont make me out to be irresponsible and a bad parent. A bad parent to me is a mom who who would leave a kid with a sitter every weekend to go out and have fun. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If its wrong to have sex downstairs while your kids are in bed downstairs, I'm guessing all parents never have sex again until their kids are grown up and moved out?? I'm a single mom, spent the last year focusing on bringing my boy up, now its rime for some me to have well earned fun but unfortunately I dont have the luxury of alternate weekends free when he goes to his dad and I also only have my parents as sitters. I have invited a man to my house to play long after my son is in bed. My child is a very deep sleeper and hardly ever wakes. Please dont make me out to be irresponsible and a bad parent. A bad parent to me is a mom who who would leave a kid with a sitter every weekend to go out and have fun. Xx"

thats true - it must be difficult to get the balance.

no one should be judging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should children get 24/7 priority in ones life ? x

YES they should!!!"

does one need to ask!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/09/12 14:50:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do play with kids in the house and have played at others houses while their kids are in bed. We have never had a problem and would hardly ever play if we didnt do this. We always inform playmates the kids will be asleep and have only had one couple say no because of this so maybe lots dont see it as a problem either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have done this too with women who have children asleep..

i guess how big the house is and how loud you are going to be has a bearing because hearing arses clapping and loud groans is not fair on a young child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a single mum too and I have two rules that I stick too my girls will never ever wake up to strangers in my bed and they wont have loads of uncles in and out of their lives either. I accom while they are at school or arrange meets for clubs easy peesy.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

My main concern wouldn't be whether they wake up, it's bringing strangers into your home and intruding on your children's safe haven (which, even if I had kids, I would never do).

Regular meets and people you've known/trusted for a long time are a different story but if I had children in the house, I would never invite anybody back to my home who I knew nothing about.

They certainly wouldn't be staying over either. x

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Should children get 24/7 priority in ones life ? x

YES they should!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/09/12 16:56:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wouldn't invite someone to mine to play as i don't even have oreo here when my kids are. i do understand babysitting can be difficult but i try to make sure my children are either babysat at home by one of my sister or mum or i go to a club with oreo or book a hotel its not a question for me of who is rite or wrong but what is good for everyone's own children. i know mine well and i do the best by them and i believe its very few mothers that would put there children at risk so while i don't play at home while they are there i am sure the people that do know there kids better than me its easy to judge people but unless we are in there circumstants how can we possible know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to add on a meet that is my time I like to fully relax and give my time to that person rather than worrying about the kids and whether they will wake up or not and that does not make me a bad or selfish parent.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I would never invite anyone round here while my kids was home, i have been to peoples home and their kids have been in and ive turned round and walked out again

I respect my kids to much to bring strangers into their home and fuck while they are in bed so im not going to do it to someone elses childrens home

Pretty much sums up my _iew.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Depends on how old the kids are.

Playing when teenagers are home is asking for it. If they are toddlers - what's the problem with that?

And i know thats a horrible thing to think about but this is the real world and things like that do happen

no matter if they 1, 10 or 16 your childs safty should be first and formost"

Agree with this too!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"My main concern wouldn't be whether they wake up, it's bringing strangers into your home and intruding on your children's safe haven (which, even if I had kids, I would never do).

Regular meets and people you've known/trusted for a long time are a different story but if I had children in the house, I would never invite anybody back to my home who I knew nothing about.

They certainly wouldn't be staying over either. x"

That's my point too: strangers in your house with your kids asleep. A chance I've never taken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never bring ANYONE nor do we play with anyone in our home.

It's our family home nothing else.

Nor do we play with with anyone at their house if they have children at home asleep.

It's our rule and one we stick to no matter what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finally got the kids off to sleep. Free now for..... erm monopoly anyone? (you have to be quiet tho)

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

also against the law, social services find out etc

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 15/09/12 21:20:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also against the law, social services find out etc"

And that 'law' would be?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also against the law, social services find out etc"

What is against the law? Playing when kids are there? As if so I can assure you it's not and I know after a jealous ex friend reported me to social services. And they said as long as I wasn't involving the kids it was no different to any other sexual activity.

Cali

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

also against the law, social services find out etc"

how is it against the law?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How is it against the law is that the swinging police law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am a single mum too and I have two rules that I stick too my girls will never ever wake up to strangers in my bed and they wont have loads of uncles in and out of their lives either. I accom while they are at school or arrange meets for clubs easy peesy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mmmm ok having sex is now against the law?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You accom when the kids are school, take it you dont work then?? Lucky you!

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"You accom when the kids are school, take it you dont work then?? Lucky you!"

wow! just wow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You accom when the kids are school, take it you dont work then?? Lucky you!"

I work yes.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I am not happy to play when peoples children are asleep in the house unless it's someone I know very well.

I would have to be very confident that I could accept their word that the kid(s) wouldn't wake.

I really don't want to be having to clutch the bedclothes to cover myself when faced with a sleepy confused and possibly distressed child who has no idea who I am or what I'm doing there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also against the law, social services find out etc"

What law? Social Services wouldn't be interested unless the child was involved in some way directly or indirectly. Sexual abuse has a narrow definition but there has to be context to it and a child walking in on their parents swinging activities would not come under this category (dependant on the parents reaction however).

I meet with my child in the house (when he's in bed). This doesn't mean that I don't care about his safety, I just don't have the luxury of babysitters. When he is awake he my life revolves around him. I'm not terribly surprised by the judgemental opinions on this thread to be honest and I understand where people are coming from but I don't accept that I'm a bad parent or that I don't care about my child's safety.

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By *wingsnroundaboutsCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Slagging off single parents who don't work is probably one for another forum.

It's not about judgemental people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slagging off single parents who don't work is probably one for another forum.

It's not about judgemental people. "

I have worked in the local school breakfast and after school clubs for the past few years have always worked and provided for my girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slagging off single parents who don't work is probably one for another forum.

It's not about judgemental people.

I have worked in the local school breakfast and after school clubs for the past few years have always worked and provided for my girls."

Don't feel you have to justify yourself to other judgmental folk! Not every job is 9 - 5!

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By *wingsnroundaboutsCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We're not bothered if you work or don't... We just see no need for people to judge, everybody has their own shit going on and we all have to live our own lives.

We don't have any children yet, and we are blessed with a comfortable lifestyle which in turn gives us lots of free time. each to their own, and all that

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By *wingsnroundaboutsCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Slagging off single parents who don't work is probably one for another forum.

It's not about judgemental people.

I have worked in the local school breakfast and after school clubs for the past few years have always worked and provided for my girls.

Don't feel you have to justify yourself to other judgmental folk! Not every job is 9 - 5! "

Exactly!!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

When you start to justify yourself to strangers on the Internet, stop for a moment and rethink it through....

What you do may be different from them but it is what YOU have chosen, not them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imo to do this with kids in the house would make you a pretty shitty parent. No need for it whatsoever. Some things are, god forbid, more important than your selfish sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends how things are. If it's a first meet then i'd hope people would arrange suitable child care so they can get to know the person etc.

Then afterwards it's maybe a case of introducing someone as a friend if you see them regularly enough and they are cool with the fact that you have kids.

That way the only people kid's see are people they see regularly and understand to be a friend rather than a string of random guys that could probably confuse them a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imo to do this with kids in the house would make you a pretty shitty parent. No need for it whatsoever. Some things are, god forbid, more important than your selfish sex life."

Thanks for your opinion, I'll bear it in mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imo to do this with kids in the house would make you a pretty shitty parent. No need for it whatsoever. Some things are, god forbid, more important than your selfish sex life."

They wouldn't be here were it not for our selfish sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it depends how things are. If it's a first meet then i'd hope people would arrange suitable child care so they can get to know the person etc.

Then afterwards it's maybe a case of introducing someone as a friend if you see them regularly enough and they are cool with the fact that you have kids.

That way the only people kid's see are people they see regularly and understand to be a friend rather than a string of random guys that could probably confuse them a bit."

Yes but how well can you really know a person of the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you really know anybody, wherever you met them? Child abusers dont come with a label to read and they certainly dint tell you! I've brought my child up on my own right from the start, he has never had any uncles, met any men I've ever dated. After 7 years, i think I'm entitled to some time to myself and unfortunately that time is extremely limited due to only having one set of babysitters. I resent the fact the fact that I'm being made out to be a bad and selfish parent, i am far from it!!! Apologies to the mom who I accused of not working, previously. See, none of us should judge anyone else and how they live their lives!! My last comment!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can you really know anybody, wherever you met them? Child abusers dont come with a label to read and they certainly dint tell you! I've brought my child up on my own right from the start, he has never had any uncles, met any men I've ever dated. After 7 years, i think I'm entitled to some time to myself and unfortunately that time is extremely limited due to only having one set of babysitters. I resent the fact the fact that I'm being made out to be a bad and selfish parent, i am far from it!!! Apologies to the mom who I accused of not working, previously. See, none of us should judge anyone else and how they live their lives!! My last comment!!"

Apology accepted. I put my sexlife on hold when mine were younger just did'nt happen and yes I am lucky my mum would have my girls once a month. Its not easy raising them on your own x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imo to do this with kids in the house would make you a pretty shitty parent. No need for it whatsoever. Some things are, god forbid, more important than your selfish sex life.

They wouldn't be here were it not for our selfish sex life."

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

[Removed by poster at 16/09/12 01:06:54]

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

think it depends.

I know a lovely couple - if I had favourites (which of course I don't) it would probably be them - and we've always played with their kids in the house - but the arrangements are good.

First off their 2 boys's rooms are on the second floor - we play on the ground floor 2 floors below - we play LONG after their bedtime.

They have everything they need on their floor and they are, according to their parents, extremely heavy sleepers.

And on the couple of occasions when I have gone there when the boys are still up, they - by their own admission wouldnt want to disturb us anyway - they think we sit around smoking and listening to prog rock - it's a modern kids worst nightmare and a source of acute embarassment for them.

In fact I wouldn't be surprised to find out that they secretly wished their parents were dirty swingers instead of being prog rock loving stoners.

If they only knew the truth ..... or not as the case may be

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

Interesting to see a lot of the negative points, particularly the more judgemental one's, coming from people with no kids?! Not all, obviously.

For the record, we don't meet at home and likewise would not meet at someone else's either, while there were children in bed, for obvious reasons (you never know if they might wake up). But I think it does depend on the age of the children too, and remember, not everyone has family, friends, good babysitters OR a local club to travel too. I not saying it's right, but no one has the right to judge either, as no two couples will share the same circumstances. Calling someone shitty parent because of this from someone who hasn't got a clue speaks volumes.

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Funnily enough I was discussing it with someone today! What a coincidence!

I get invited periodically by a couple I have never met to theirs. They always want me to come to them after 11pm when the kids are in bed! I always decline! Definitely not that desperate or sex-starved to rock up to someone's house after 11pm when there is no rapport whatsoever and there are kids in the house!!

I could never play at someone's house when the kids are in bed.

What if the kids wake up and then in mid-play, you have to go tend to them. Big buzz-kill!

What if they walk in on us? That could be a traumatic experience for that child.

What if the guy you invite to yours is an axe murderer or child molester? This is the Internet after all! You can see just how much risk you are putting yourself and your child in, just for the sake of fun!

It's an unwise thing to do no matter which way you look at it, from the perspective of the family and kids and from the _iew of the person(s) you have invited to yours.

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

[Removed by poster at 16/09/12 06:20:56]

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"Imo to do this with kids in the house would make you a pretty shitty parent. No need for it whatsoever. Some things are, god forbid, more important than your selfish sex life.

They wouldn't be here were it not for our selfish sex life."

So what are you saying? That you had them through swinging? Hope you do realise the initial post said that in the context of swinging!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we never have meets when the kids are at home this is why Phil still has his flat so we have somewhere we can have meets without having to worry about the kids walking in on us, when at home its easy theres a lock on the bedroom door, but we have had a party where we had vanilla friends and swinger friends present obviously no play was involved so it was all good and the kids were present, there is no way we would go to a meet if there were kids in the house its just our personal _iew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funnily enough I was discussing it with someone today! What a coincidence!

I could never play at someone's house when the kids are in bed.

What if the kids wake up and then in mid-play, you have to go tend to them. Big buzz-kill!

What if they walk in on us? That could be a traumatic experience for that child.

It's an unwise thing to do no matter which way you look at it, from the perspective of the family and kids and from the _iew of the person(s) you have invited to yours."

The child waking up worries me the most. I wouldn't want my kids remembering mummy doing rude things with strangers, for the rest of their lives. It's obviously different (but still bad in my opinion) to walking in on mummy and daddy....

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By *icesweetgirlWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

How come nearly every thread on here turns into personal attacks from some people. It's one thing giving your own opinion on the topic but no one has the right to call others if they do something you don't agree with.

If you dont want to meet with someone cos kids in the house, fine, don't meet them. But don't call them shitty parents or bad mothers if they want to. Who are you to judge anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has a choice, for those of us who do meet with kids in the house its just that - our choice. If you dont like it then pass on by. As a previous poster said some of us are not lucky enough to have family close by and sitters can work out costly. It does not make us shitty parents and we know our kids sleep patterns best

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By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

"How come nearly every thread on here turns into personal attacks from some people. It's one thing giving your own opinion on the topic but no one has the right to call others if they do something you don't agree with.

If you dont want to meet with someone cos kids in the house, fine, don't meet them. But don't call them shitty parents or bad mothers if they want to. Who are you to judge anyone. "
well put :-

Dwe would not consider meeting people with kids in the ouse for the simple reason you never know whats going to happen an upset tummy or a nightmare or a needed drink weve all been there and i would never want to be in a position of alarming a child we did meet a couple once she had not long had a baby and it was on the dining room table in the same room as us we just explained we were not keen and left xx i would never have strangers in our house with ur kids asleep upstairs but thats just us im not aganst what others do its personal choice at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not something i would do. Not really bothered what other people do its their business but trying to justify being caught at it by kids with.some random as being no different to being caught as just husband and wife is just silly. If you are totally comfortable with what you do then theres no need to try and justify it on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They wouldn't be here were it not for our selfish sex life.

So what are you saying? That you had them through swinging? Hope you do realise the initial post said that in the context of swinging!"

*YAWN* Sorry, how stupid of me, but thank you for pointing out the glaringly obvious (do I need to do the same?..)

Agree that it's a shame some feel the need to use discussions as thinly disguised abuse to others.

If as a parent you feel the need to give up your sex life that's your choice. It doesn't in my opinion make you any better or worse a parent.

If as a parent you choose to undertake adult activities and you're happy that doing so does not pose a risk to your children, likewise.

Nobody here is in any position to judge how others have made their decisions - you don't know us as parents, don't know our children, don't know the layout of our house etc. etc.

This could have been an interesting thread about the challenges of child care, arrangements for parents & so on. Instead it's an excuse for mostly sanctimonious dribble.

On another note we're setting up a 'Babysitters for Swingers' service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have my stepson (he is now 18) live with us. When we hold parties or have a meet we ask him to go stay at his mum's. Never a problem. Personally I couldn't relax knowing kids were in house but I understand how hard it must be for some people and wouldn't bad mouth them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a toddler and keep this side of my life away from him would never ever have naughty fun if he is in the house no exceptions didnt do it with my 21 year old son in the house while he was growing up either xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse me thats a bit narrow minded my son goes to his grans every sat night thats his thing regardles if im going out or having a meet so are you labelling me a bad mum as i dont have my son every sat night ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/09/12 13:35:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been to my friends who happen to be swingers before and they had there kids there we didnt play till late now the kids know us well and they know my son so the kids know that we are all good friends , we are good parents just happens that they dont have the babysitters , no one has been harmed and the kids think its a party so weres the harm, do yous have friends over for drinks when your kids are in bed ??

This thread is turned into the worst kind too much agro not nice !!!

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"Ive been to my friends who happen to be swingers before and they had there kids there we didnt play till late now the kids know us well and they know my son so the kids know that we are all good friends , we are good parents just happens that they dont have the babysitters , no one has been harmed and the kids think its a party so weres the harm, do yous have friends over for drinks when your kids are in bed ??

This thread is turned into the worst kind too much agro not nice !!!"

I agree, started off nice and then gone right down hill. Plus I dare not comment as I fear another ban coming on

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