FabSwingers.com forum: Guys, Seriously

By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

couldn't help pmsl at that! U can't buy a hat sort of class

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

Lol what we saying then it’s not a winner

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Sounds like a right one. Jesus

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper?

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper?"
Haha he sounds charming. Lol x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper? Haha he sounds charming. Lol x"

Xxx

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper? Haha he sounds charming. Lol x

Xxx"
Seriously can't believe some people. Lol xxx

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Ffs haha

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper? Haha he sounds charming. Lol x

Xxx Seriously can't believe some people. Lol xxx"

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

lolzzz

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper? Haha he sounds charming. Lol x

Xxx Seriously can't believe some people. Lol xxx

"
Haha xx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Sounds like a right one. Jesus

A keeper? Haha he sounds charming. Lol x

Xxx Seriously can't believe some people. Lol xxx

Haha xx"

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By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

Im sure all us females have had loads of dreadful messages, lets hear them

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Im sure all us females have had loads of dreadful messages, lets hear them

Can I breed you

I get regular

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By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

"Lol what we saying then it’s not a winner

"
.

Definitely didn't work on me, ha ha

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Are you dressed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not on here but yesterday via pm

"So do you want to fuck me again?"

Then when out Saturday a guy I was talking to said "how would you like something incredible between your legs?".

Some people just have no idea..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Not on here but yesterday via pm

"So do you want to fuck me again?"

Then when out Saturday a guy I was talking to said "how would you like something incredible between your legs?".

Some people just have no idea..

You should have said

What

A micro

Firework

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Didnt the beatles have a song called that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not on here but yesterday via pm

"So do you want to fuck me again?"

Then when out Saturday a guy I was talking to said "how would you like something incredible between your legs?".

Some people just have no idea..

You should have said

What

A micro

Firework "

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By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

Didnt the beatles have a song called that? "

I actually sung your reply, lol. It works too

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By *cobMan
over a year ago

here

Wouldn’t be so bad but there’s no photos of said twat on profile

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By *ad_Bod_ToddMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I adore him. Gives me a proper self esteem boost that actually I'm not getting too many things wrong. Still beggars belief though.

There is definitely a trick being missed here. The owners of fab should be collecting the most horrendous messages and publish them in a book. Ideal Christmas present for the hot wife or cuck!

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

So non of these work. Bugger back to basics lol

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Perhaps he hadn’t or hasn’t got time mess about so goes for the direct approach … who knows, he could of had success with it somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well someone wants to get deep in my dirtbox apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No convo first no introduction just straight in to it least he could said hello I’m whoever lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just received a ‘Fuck me’ message.

I’m not sure if it was a request or statement in awe of my photos

lol

I politely declined and strangely enough I didn’t get a reply.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"Well someone wants to get deep in my dirtbox apparently

He’s got to be a bin dipper

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Crossing a few chat up lines off my list reading this

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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

We had one saying id love to tongue that fart box.... why just why...

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By *egabristolsCouple
over a year ago

penarth

Prove you’ve read my profile and put ‘eat your twat’ as your greeting

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

"We had one saying id love to tongue that fart box.... why just why..."

Ah that’s just plain nasty.....fart box

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

I'm writing this one down! I will use it as my opening message in future

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Sounds like a right charmer

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We had, are you free on xyz, I'm in your area. That was it! We were so flattered by that one.

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By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

"We had one saying id love to tongue that fart box.... why just why..."

Ha ha, definitely no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had one saying id love to tongue that fart box.... why just why..."
this made me giggle

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

Did it work? Are they married

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By *arkhelgaCouple
over a year ago

leeds

What about do you have any more pics,erm our profile has a few and its obvious you're a pic collector,sad sad sadXx

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

That and sit on my face! X

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By *uayside Glory HoleMan
over a year ago

Gateshead Quayside

I often get “Are you open?” but given my profile this works fine for me! If anything it signals here is someone who wants to cut to the chase. Even more encouraging if they’ve attached a pic of their dick so I don’t have to chase for this

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By *eterandJaneadventuresCouple
over a year ago

Sutton

One of the many , Though we cynically do give polite advice.,

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Bit too direct? I’ll say helllo first next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My personal favourites is:

Hey Stranger….

From someone you’ve never messaged before, has zero public photos on their profile and a bio stating “message to find out more or fill in later”

Really, who’s the stranger now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

Boke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

Omg

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

Maybe he thought you were a

Xxc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Beatles got it so wrong with I Wanna Hold Your Hand. I Wannna Eat Your Twat was clearly going to be a bigger hit

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By *ust John nowCouple
over a year ago

South West

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Sorry, bloody predictive text ...." I wanna meet your cat "

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Isn't a twat a sort of fish?

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

Had one - fancy a fuck, happy to pay £50? Deleted and blocked lol

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By *riendly BiMan
over a year ago

"Isn't a twat a sort of fish?

A pregnant one

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

"Isn't a twat a sort of fish?

Not quite - it is a pregnant Goldfish. Maybe the guy genuinely goes around eating Goldfish and assuming you had one?

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

"Had one - fancy a fuck, happy to pay £50? Deleted and blocked lol "

That's disgusting..

I'll give you £60

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By *arieTheCougarWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

Honestly some opening messages are ridiculous! The ones I find the most cringey are 'hi Miss I really like you I want to make you my girlfriend and look after you forever'...

Like woooaaaah slow down man!

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By *mwirralMan
over a year ago

wirral

Maybe he meant:

I want to eat you, I'm a twat?

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

Oh Cougar..

That red dress would look awesome- on my bedroom floor..

Soz, couldn't resist..

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Have a heart lady! Perhaps he was hungry!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Maybe he meant:

I want to eat you, I'm a twat?"

Signed hannibal lecter

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"The Beatles got it so wrong with I Wanna Hold Your Hand. I Wannna Eat Your Twat was clearly going to be a bigger hit"

And when I touch you I feel happy inside...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

I ve had similar...my favourite is "I wanna be balls deep in your dirt box " or "giz a go on her"....

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Wtf???

Didn't even say 'please'???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Yo, you looking to fuck or what?”

Real first message I received this week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Just for research, what should we use instead of twat?

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By *edonisticHandfulWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

Best/ worst one was along the lines of "I wanna dump my cum in you".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn it that doesn’t work then no

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"“Yo, you looking to fuck or what?”

Real first message I received this week"

Was it the "yo" that put you off?

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By *rNightMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Personally I’d never take that approach but I can assure you that polite & conversational doesn’t seem to work either, so maybe they’re trying a different approach, even though they know it’s not very respectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does he want to eat my ex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why does he want to eat my ex?"

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"The Beatles got it so wrong with I Wanna Hold Your Hand. I Wannna Eat Your Twat was clearly going to be a bigger hit"

They was all off their tits that much, they’d eat a few twats

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

This is such poor ettiquette...

He should have used minge

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Best/ worst one was along the lines of "I wanna dump my cum in you".

Poetry isn't what it used to be.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

No idea some of the men on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That guy was a bit of a twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Twat (facepalm) that’s up there with minge, gash, slit, muff, beaver.

Yuck

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"No idea some of the men on here"

On a plus point - they make the rest of us look charming.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

Some good ideas for next Valentines

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

That’s madness…. Everyone know ‘I wanna eat your twat’ is message two after they don’t respond to message one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to know if any of you smooth-talkers are going to whisper that in your next meets ear, right at the point where it starts hotting up!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I want to know if any of you smooth-talkers are going to whisper that in your next meets ear, right at the point where it starts hotting up!

I'm sure some of us have a little more sophistication than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Hahaha really tickled me this sorry

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By *irmingham_Sissy_MaidTV/TS
over a year ago

sutton Coldfield

That sort of thing makes me be embarrassed to be male! I also get similar due to my profile, really annoys me

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By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

"Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

Ha ha, definitely on par

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By *areToShareCouple
over a year ago

Bingham

"I'd love to tongue punch your fart box while your hubby is fucking you"..we did have that as an opening message a week or so ago. From a 'straight' guy that had 3 verifications..2 from TV's and one from a CD!

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Tea spitting moment. ??

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

For future reference, what terminology should we use when sending an opening message demanding cunnilingus? Is foof acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""I'd love to tongue punch your fart box while your hubby is fucking you"..we did have that as an opening message a week or so ago. From a 'straight' guy that had 3 verifications..2 from TV's and one from a CD!

We have all had that message, he's been sending that for about 5 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys have no manners.

"Please may I munch on your kebab?" is far more polite.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Some guys have no manners.

"Please may I munch on your kebab?" is far more polite.

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Some guys have no manners.

"Please may I munch on your kebab?" is far more polite.

Would that be Donna

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

On my solo male account Ive never once had an unsolicited pussy pic or been told "I wanna suck your cock" in an opening message by a woman.

Some people have all the luck

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Some guys have no manners.

"Please may I munch on your kebab?" is far more polite.

Precisely - saying 'please' and 'thank you' goes a long way.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

I don’t remember that being The Beatles original title………..??

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

What a charmer

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

I don’t remember that being The Beatles original title………..??

It was the re-mix version.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

I don’t remember that being The Beatles original title………..??

The original was i wanna feast on your fanny but it had too many syllables so they changed it.... If you have an original it's worth a lot of money..

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By *tickler2000Man
over a year ago

St Agnes

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Consider yourself swoon.

Bit of a smooth talker if ever I saw one

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Is that red or brown sauce with twat?. At least it proves he wasn't vegetarian.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

What are we having for supper today?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"What are we having for supper today?

Dunno what you cooking

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I've had one...

You accommodate?

Not even a hi...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone messaged me and said they were jealous of my heart, when I asked why he said ciz that's pumping Deep inside you and I'm not.

Very Cheesy but made me laugh

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Someone messaged me and said they were jealous of my heart, when I asked why he said ciz that's pumping Deep inside you and I'm not.

Very Cheesy but made me laugh

That's..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I've had one...

You accommodate?

Not even a hi..."

Well do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

@ the OP: Maybe those guys are just really hungry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do these high class pick up lines ever work? It’d be much easier than the reading of profiles and thinking about what to put in a message that I’m doing

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By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple

"Isn't a twat a sort of fish?

"
i think a prat is a pregnant fish

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

[Removed by poster at 28/09/21 16:15:28]

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

/prat/

noun: prat; plural noun: prats

1. BRITISH

an incompetent or stupid person; an idiot.

2. a person's buttocks

Goldfish are egg layers not live berthing, just to some confusion.

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By *ky128Man
over a year ago

Southampton

A gentleman would say "would you do me the honor of letting me devour you vagina"

Those slang talking buggers

Lol

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Excuse me young lady, my name is CG and I'd like it very much if I could make myself acquainted with your lady garden.

Thank you kindly,

yours sincerely

Chunky Gent.

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By *ekkatransTV/TS
over a year ago

Scarborough

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Pure Shakespeare.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Well scrolling through here made me feel better about my messaging technique.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"What are we having for supper today?

Dunno what you cooking

Microwave meal

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By *oobylicious6986Woman
over a year ago

Blackpool

I got one saying.... I want to face fuck you and cum down your throat

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I got one saying.... I want to face fuck you and cum down your throat

Direct him to the big dipper instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got one saying.... I want to face fuck you and cum down your throat

Oh gawd

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By *KCx OP Woman
over a year ago

skegness

"Some guys have no manners.

"Please may I munch on your kebab?" is far more polite.

Much more polite

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Ive had a delightful picture of a rather purple and diseased looking winkle this morning with the wording "lick my cheese" on it. Nothing else, just "lick my cheese"!

There is no sick face that I can type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Omg that’s funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see women queueing up for him like a petrol pump

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By *ector KiKKiCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

We had a guy message whose opening line was "will you put your wife's knickers on my head whilst I wank and you both laugh at me"

WTF

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I can see women queueing up for him like a petrol pump "

If he's got petrol he'd do rather well right now....

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Fortunately we don't get many that bad. It's been over a year since we had an opening to rival that one, but one guy did get there recently in about his fourth message. He's blocked now.

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

with an offer like that how can a girl control herself with the thoughts of all that impending excitement,,lol just another closet keyboard warrior who would run a mile if you called his bluff....

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By *hire ManMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Shit I better cross that of my list of opening messages

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By *adForGood69Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

We had a guy open up with 'i'll fuck her' then after we didn't reply he followed it up with '???'

Classy!

Wonder if it ever works for him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a recent one asking if I would cheat on my husband...asked him to read the profile and he replied saying he doesn't have the time, then was offended by lack of reply!

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

God women are so stuck up on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just nearly sprayed coffee everywhere ..

I totally misread the opening line and read that as

"I wanna eat your cat"

But no, that's a line to be proud of..not!

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By *adForGood69Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

We have had 'i'll fuck her'followed by '???' When we didn't reply

Another one opened with 'I've got a mattress in my van if you're interested '

Don't know if either approach has ever worked for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have had 'i'll fuck her'followed by '???' When we didn't reply

Another one opened with 'I've got a mattress in my van if you're interested '

Don't know if either approach has ever worked for them"

Crazy to think people even message things like this. The mattress in the van, surely nobody even likes that as an opening message or deep in conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Was going to be the original lyrics for the Beatles "I wanna hold your hand"

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

That’s a charmer

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By *illynillyCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Our latest one was...."giz a go on her"...... some folk eh

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By *oliteguyMan
over a year ago

Melksham

I can imagine that the guys that use some of these amazing opening lines, send the same message to multiple people. I doubt it’s ever been successful. How many times do you have to send messages like that to realise that maybe it’s not the best approach and isn’t getting you anywhere!

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By *ibblepilotMan
over a year ago

Preston

Do the idiot guys sending these horrendous messages have the capability of such thinking!?!

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I recently received 'I'd fuck you so hard I'd put you in a wheelchair'

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

"Do the idiot guys sending these horrendous messages have the capability of such thinking!?! "

No we don’t sorry. Must be where I’ve been going wrong the whole time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

My worst.." Can I shit on your tits?"

I kid you not...

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By *illynillyCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

My worst.." Can I shit on your tits?"

I kid you not..."

That made me lol.... I m guessing you jumped at the chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."
Is that a no or maybe then??? ,,,,seriously there are some real dense twatish folk on here lately no wonder single guys get such a bad rep.

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Absolutely classic that one haha straight to the point; no human connection just animal

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

My worst.." Can I shit on your tits?"

I kid you not...

That made me lol.... I m guessing you jumped at the chance

I wonder if that’s a reference to Questionable Content, the long running internet webcomic, comic number 1752.

Sven: “Nice tits. Can I take a shit on them?”

Or perhaps the guy just really likes shitting on tits.

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By *hilliplisa790Couple
over a year ago

Paignton

When a guy messages you and says "I'm close are you ready to be fucked now", like I sit around all day with my legs open waiting for a knock on the door ?? sweet talking I don't think so ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him, you are what you eat obviously!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When a guy messages you and says "I'm close are you ready to be fucked now", like I sit around all day with my legs open waiting for a knock on the door ?? sweet talking I don't think so ?? "

You mean you aren't waiting to see if I may pass by your neighborhood sometime???

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By *uxuriantCouple
over a year ago

Cornwall

Some horrors here. Our worst was “I wanna fuck you in your throat until you puke” . Block! Think I’ll give that a miss actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next."

Yeah, maybe it was the same guy who just told me he would travel a long way to eat my ass!

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By *uchislife66Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"'I wanna eat your twat' as an opening message, ffs, Be on here moaning about not getting any replies next.

Yeah, maybe it was the same guy who just told me he would travel a long way to eat my ass!

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"When a guy messages you and says "I'm close are you ready to be fucked now", like I sit around all day with my legs open waiting for a knock on the door ?? sweet talking I don't think so ?? "

You silly billy. You’ll need to get up to answer the door when he arrives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

..brilliant

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By *oliteguyMan
over a year ago

Melksham

Someone needs to collate these and publish a book. 101 ways not to get a meet.

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