FabSwingers.com forum: Timewasters

By *Just me OP Man
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Whilst I dispise timewasters and report them and block them what is Admin doing to get rid of these people. Maybe Admin could feedback action taken against timewasters. Anyone else got any suggestions as it would omprove it for everyone else.

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Whilst I dispise timewasters and report them and block them what is Admin doing to get rid of these people. Maybe Admin could feedback action taken against timewasters. Anyone else got any suggestions as it would omprove it for everyone else.

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me."

What are you classing as a time waster?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s a time waster to you if you don’t mind me asking OP?

The code is there I presume as an extra step to stop bitter people going on reporting sprees or to make sure you haven’t done it by mistake (not sure how) but possible…

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

I suspect the code is to stop "clever" people from writing a program that will automatically report profiles, which would flood the system and make it unworkable

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

What's a time waster? Someone who chats then stops because they aren't interested? Someone who arranged a neet then pulls out at the last minute? Someone who doesn't turn up when you do? I suspect that we all have different views on the definition. Even people who don't turn up may well have genuine excuses. A very risky road to go down

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By *Just me OP Man
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me."

Seems people dont understand the term timewaster... to be clear a timewaster is a contact who fails to turn up or fails to make contact when you arrive, ie address is fake etc... I hear time after time that these people are here and had a few issues with these wasters myself.

They give everyone a bad reputation as a result.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

They give everyone a bad reputation as a result."

No they don't. They only give themselves a bad reputation.

I've never had a no show in almost 5 years here.

I accept that it happens for all sorts of reasons but if it consistently happens to one person then maybe that person should be looking at how they are vetting the people they choose to meet and start learning from mistakes.

Everyone has a different definition of time wasting.

It states clearly on my profile that I don't meet without chatting for a while and yet I get meet me now messages.

When I refuse am I the timewaster or have they wasted their own time in making such a request?

It's open to abuse

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

They give everyone a bad reputation as a result."

I’ve been called a time waster for exchanging a few messages, but then said I wasn’t interested in meeting them.

Also not going to a club when I was on a guest list. Some guy had seen I was going, no message to say we were going to meet but I wasted his time when he turned up and I wasn’t there.

One person’s definition of a time waster isn’t necessarily another persons.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

They give everyone a bad reputation as a result."

That's ghosting and yes that's wrong. But they don't ruin it for anyone else people seem to use others actions as an excuse for them having no luck on here.

Yes people who ghost should be reported but they site aren't going to kick everyone off who gets reported as not every report is genuine either. I'm sure there are protocols in place for people who are reported several times for the same thing.

And people have different definitions of what a time waster is on here.Like someone above posted I've been called it because I've refused to meet someone after we exchanged a handful of messages .

I've never had a no show so far but then I don't meet anyone quickly either I prefer to chat and get to know someone first. That approach won't work for everyone but it has for me so far anyhow .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the uk esp we have a hangup for sayING we don't want,we don't like,or even saying point blank "NO" .

Nobody wants to look bad in any given situation.

We all should be Accountable for our real time actions. No matter how good we think our own inteñtions really are.

Like i had many appointment's pre- booked ahead of given date.

I called out of politeness to confirm on the day.

1) i have covid.

2) i am running late, but i rang him. i will be there in 45mins! , he totally did not turn up, nor rang to say he will not attend.

3) another cancelled via text, not a call ..

Treat how you really do wish to be treated!

But many say oh its not important, your way to serious etc etc.

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By *lla4everTV/TS
over a year ago

Overseas

"In the uk esp we have a hangup for sayING we don't want,we don't like,or even saying point blank "NO" .

Nobody wants to look bad in any given situation.

We all should be Accountable for our real time actions. No matter how good we think our own inteñtions really are.

Like i had many appointment's pre- booked ahead of given date.

I called out of politeness to confirm on the day.

1) i have covid.

2) i am running late, but i rang him. i will be there in 45mins! , he totally did not turn up, nor rang to say he will not attend.

3) another cancelled via text, not a call ..

Treat how you really do wish to be treated!

But many say oh its not important, your way to serious etc etc.

THIS! THANK YOU for putting this out here

I’ve had people saying I’m way too serious for requesting a ‘confirm’ message a few hours before the meet

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By *lla4everTV/TS
over a year ago

Overseas

I also don’t chat in Snapchat/ Kik/ WhatsApp or other social media apps. When the person don’t show up as arranged/ didn’t tell me in advance, admins can review the report more easily with all the chat record here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me."

If they’re buying ‘passes’ on here why would Admin want to do anything?

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By *exy-Lady-1975Couple
over a year ago

Bewdley

The term is used differently by different people. We have been on here several times and had dozens of meets, also at least a dozen no shows, also the last minute cancellations, one guy had to look after his dog, another pick his daughter up. In addition, the fantasist, they are men pretending to be couple or even posing as bi women.

Then some call couples/Women who refuse a meet timewasters? Its the couples choice. Then the real bad one for me, the ones who claim to be what they are not. Had one meet, the guy was around 20 years older than the pic and ad, around 2 stone heavier and had superimposed someone elses body on their pics, also someone elses cock! Also a couple of times white guys pretending to be black and at the meet saying, well you dont get if you dont try, I can paint it black? Get what, a kick up the backside? For me, number 1, timewasters, when I am specific in my requirements and people ignore the profile. I guess that's it for me xx

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

"The term is used differently by different people. We have been on here several times and had dozens of meets, also at least a dozen no shows, also the last minute cancellations, one guy had to look after his dog, another pick his daughter up. In addition, the fantasist, they are men pretending to be couple or even posing as bi women.

OK I know it's not funny, but that made me giggle.

White guy pretending to be black, you could not make that up.

I do have to ask with the guy who lied about age and body type, how on earth did you find out he had faked his cock too?

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

"In the uk esp we have a hangup for sayING we don't want,we don't like,or even saying point blank "NO" .

Nobody wants to look bad in any given situation.

We all should be Accountable for our real time actions. No matter how good we think our own inteñtions really are.

Like i had many appointment's pre- booked ahead of given date.

I called out of politeness to confirm on the day.

1) i have covid.

2) i am running late, but i rang him. i will be there in 45mins! , he totally did not turn up, nor rang to say he will not attend.

3) another cancelled via text, not a call ..

Treat how you really do wish to be treated!

But many say oh its not important, your way to serious etc etc.

Yep. It’s totally an English thing to not be direct and/or unable to say no. It’s a very flaky culture (at least in the south). Just like, be transparent, man up, and say you’re not up for it. That’s part of being an adult.

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By *ornado69Man
over a year ago

Princess Risborough

So many timewasters on fab, two meets this week with different "couples" both turned out to be fake.

I always turn up when i say i will, flowers for the lady, polite and respectful and we get the run around from idiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the uk esp we have a hangup for sayING we don't want,we don't like,or even saying point blank "NO" .

Nobody wants to look bad in any given situation.

We all should be Accountable for our real time actions. No matter how good we think our own inteñtions really are.

Like i had many appointment's pre- booked ahead of given date.

I called out of politeness to confirm on the day.

1) i have covid.

2) i am running late, but i rang him. i will be there in 45mins! , he totally did not turn up, nor rang to say he will not attend.

3) another cancelled via text, not a call ..

Treat how you really do wish to be treated!

But many say oh its not important, your way to serious etc etc.

THIS! THANK YOU for putting this out here

I’ve had people saying I’m way too serious for requesting a ‘confirm’ message a few hours before the meet

Remember people on do to you what within reason you allow them to do!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Annoying as it is if people dont show/cancel last minuite etc., its just tough really ! Would never report them after all it's their right to b able to do this! That said I've never been sat waiting from someone on fab (have from pof) if I get a cancel no matter what reason and it may well b genuine then I wont agree to meet again as I consider them flaky and move on x

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By *Just me OP Man
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

They give everyone a bad reputation as a result."

Seems to me peopke here dont care about the reputation of the genune people here who do meet when they say they will. And I do wonder why people are defending tmimwasters on the site... That is unless they themselves are the timewasters...

Someone implied that it was my fault and not the timewasters. I have had many multiple meets with genuine people and I dont need those idiots leading me on, afterall they stop me meeting genuine people too.

Seems to me the website are not interested in dealing with the problem and are some members are also not interested...

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By *Just me OP Man
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me."

If someone fails to turn up without letting them know they they were not being able to make it, or you arrive at an address and then find out that it is not the person you wre expectng then why is that not a timewaster? How can people defend this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand the frustration OP you have with people not turning up / cancelling last minute however when it comes to reporting I’m not sure you can do much if I’m honest.

If someone cancels on you saying something last minute has come up, genuine or not, why would you or this site have the right to be able to report them without the facts? Yes some may not be genuine and are effectively ‘wasting your time’ but what about those that legitimately have had ‘life getting in the way’?

I’m just playing devils advocate more than anything but I think asking for a confirmation message or steps in place prior to meeting may be more beneficial than reporting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

Who is defending that?

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

I don't think anyone is defending time wasters as you later defined. The thing is, the site aren't able to control its members actions, so it comes down to each individual to develop their own 'quality control'. When we first joined, we were let down often, but we just learned to use certain filters, clues and most importantly, our own instincts.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I've been here over 15 years and never encountered a time waster.

One: I never went out of my way and I set the agenda. I met at home so I was going to vet, on mutual ground who I let into it.

Always had a daytime meet in a coffee shop near my office where I'd be anyway. If it was after work at the station, 15 minutes before my train. If I got to the meeting point and they weren't there, I'd keep it moving to my platform.

A home meet, I'd book a flexi day off. I'd have ironing, a sort out of my undies etc as plan B for a no show: never happened, no time wasted.

I've met a few I wished hadn't turned up...but that's another story!

Free site: don't know what Admin can do and "time waster" is overused. For me arranging a meet and not turning up is a time waster. For others not replying to a "hi" first message is time wasting!

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By *astlincscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me.

They give everyone a bad reputation as a result.

Seems to me the website are not interested in dealing with the problem and are some members are also not interested... "

No we are not interested, the site works well for us. It doesn't need to be changed.

I hate when people throw the word "genuine" around like its some sort proof that they are a sure thing.

There are thousands of people that have no interest or intention of meeting, however fab gives you tools and a forum to help you decifer for yourself.

If you are suffering continuous let downs, then it may be time to change your approach.

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By *exy-Lady-1975Couple
over a year ago

Bewdley

Unlike yourself I guess we have had a couple, we have been on here 3 times. Had a few no shows, a couple of dreamers and fakes, not many though. Many say you are a timewaster if you say no or have the audacity to ask what they are in to, what they like. I have had a couple say I am wasting time by saying no to the 4 work replies. We dont live for swinging and dont respond to many contacts. I think the underlying issue is that there are at least 20 men for every single woman or couples willing to meet single men. It promotes some impatience and occasional aggression. The annoying ones are the single men pretending to be couples and the ones who want me to perform like a porn movie star with their wives, for goodness sake try a swingers club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fab swingers is a web site it can only control what goes on within the site they cannot have any say in what happens off the site ...thats your responability and it happens as it would in other walks of life ....

i do find it funny when men blame other men for them getting nowhere sorry but only you are responible for you .. others messing up ruins it for themselves ..

i find when talking i get that feeling in my gut that somethings not right and i take things no further only to find friends in our off fab group telling everyone who the nesser are and there name pop up ...word of mouth (off fab) is king

so fab can only control fab it cannot control what happens off the site people need to realize this when aranging meets its down to them no one else..

we cant remeber the last time we got let down but then we are carefully and dont suffer fools

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and lost count how many times we get called timewasters when we say no thanks ... and they messaged us too lol

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Maybe leave the "report advert" on the bottom of every advert to make it easier. Why is there a code to add in if you are reporting something... seems useless to me."

You can never be 100% you don't put them of or even the personal circumstances changed so try to t be more understanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand the frustration OP you have with people not turning up / cancelling last minute however when it comes to reporting I’m not sure you can do much if I’m honest.

I’m just playing devils advocate more than anything but I think asking for a confirmation message or steps in place prior to meeting may be more beneficial than reporting

Maybe instead of calling it time wasting we can differenciate. Arranging to meet and not showing up is against fab rules and can be reported. Ghosting I consider to be the lowest form of time wasting after arranging to meet, at least a last minute excuse whether genuine or not is having the decency to let you know. This can still be reported and I'm sure if admin recieve a certain number of these complaints they may have words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand the frustration OP you have with people not turning up / cancelling last minute however when it comes to reporting I’m not sure you can do much if I’m honest.

I’m just playing devils advocate more than anything but I think asking for a confirmation message or steps in place prior to meeting may be more beneficial than reporting

there is nothing in the rules on fab about timewaster's and theres a reason for that as admin cant do anything about anything that happens off this site ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also it would be open for abuse as you'll get people calling people timewasters for just about anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand the frustration OP you have with people not turning up / cancelling last minute however when it comes to reporting I’m not sure you can do much if I’m honest.

I’m just playing devils advocate more than anything but I think asking for a confirmation message or steps in place prior to meeting may be more beneficial than reporting

there is nothing in the rules on fab about timewaster's and theres a reason for that as admin cant do anything about anything that happens off this site ... "

That's what I thought until a forum mod pointed out that there is an option to select 'arranged to meet didn't show up' when reporting a profile.

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By *aked2sumCouple
over a year ago

Coast

12 month without verification or paying site support kick them off , far to many un verified profiles now with no pics and not paying site support. Probably more fakes and dreamers on here than genuine people now

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