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standards or preference

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By *win Peaks OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

A lot of postings on the forums claim that they are "lowering their standards" when they play with people that are not exactly what they are looking for on their profile. Surely they mean "outside their preference" rather than lowering their standards. This is very degrading to the partner don't you think? Is your real partner your ideal partner in looks, shape or personality? If not, are they below your standard? As very few people have the "perfect" partner surely it's a preference not a standard.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

degrading to the partner and reeks of desperation to the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with what you say. you cant always tell by looking at someones photos, i have met men who i didnt think were realy my type in looks.

only they sounded like nice people and they were fun to be with as well, easy to get on with.

my type is julian clary, but how many men do you see who look like that?

they may be your type looks wise, but doesnt mean you will be compatible.

i prefer tall men but my hubbys 5ft8.

when i met him i didnt think about how tall he was i just noticed his good points.

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants


"

when i met him i didnt think about how tall he was i just noticed his good points."

Good for you!

Or was it just one point that was good for you! Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

when i met him i didnt think about how tall he was i just noticed his good points.

Good for you!

Or was it just one point that was good for you! Lol!

"

i liked his eyes and his smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of postings on the forums claim that they are "lowering their standards" when they play with people that are not exactly what they are looking for on their profile. Surely they mean "outside their preference" rather than lowering their standards. This is very degrading to the partner don't you think? Is your real partner your ideal partner in looks, shape or personality? If not, are they below your standard? As very few people have the "perfect" partner surely it's a preference not a standard."

My guy is ideal in every way to me. He ticks so many boxes I want to punch him.

I think for anyone to say they were 'lowering their standards' is just degrading and downright disrespectful.

I don't have a type. There is no such thing as the perfect person. I would hope people have a preference. 'Standard' sounds awful.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There are one or two people involved in swinging who think that they are above almost everyone else and they think they're lowering their standards whoever they meet. We met a couple like this who used phrases such as "we have our proper friends and then the people we meet for swinging" and implied that everyone except them were somehow not quite nice for being involved......we had a drink and left

I think that the term lowering your standards is degrading but really shows teh person who uses it in their true light.

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants


"A lot of postings on the forums claim that they are "lowering their standards" when they play with people that are not exactly what they are looking for on their profile. Surely they mean "outside their preference" rather than lowering their standards. This is very degrading to the partner don't you think? Is your real partner your ideal partner in looks, shape or personality? If not, are they below your standard? As very few people have the "perfect" partner surely it's a preference not a standard.

My guy is ideal in every way to me. He ticks so many boxes I want to punch him.

I think for anyone to say they were 'lowering their standards' is just degrading and downright disrespectful.

I don't have a type. There is no such thing as the perfect person. I would hope people have a preference. 'Standard' sounds awful. "

My perfect 'type' would have to be

a) human

b) Alive

and c) female

After that it's just if we 'click' or not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are one or two people involved in swinging who think that they are above almost everyone else and they think they're lowering their standards whoever they meet. We met a couple like this who used phrases such as "we have our proper friends and then the people we meet for swinging" and implied that everyone except them were somehow not quite nice for being involved......we had a drink and left

I think that the term lowering your standards is degrading but really shows teh person who uses it in their true light."

I know the type. They are just laughable, you have to feel sorry for them. In a way.

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By *win Peaks OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

I'm amazed by the amount of times the word "standard" is used. I do genuinely believe they mean preference.

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By *ranthamThroatMan
over a year ago

Grantham.


"A lot of postings on the forums claim that they are "lowering their standards" when they play with people that are not exactly what they are looking for on their profile. Surely they mean "outside their preference" rather than lowering their standards. This is very degrading to the partner don't you think? Is your real partner your ideal partner in looks, shape or personality? If not, are they below your standard? As very few people have the "perfect" partner surely it's a preference not a standard."

This is very degrading to the partner don't you think?

If they don't fall within your preferences they won't be your partner, in any sense of the word, contact maybe, so no, it isn't insulting as you would have declined to meet them, regardless of semantics ?

One's "real partner" doesn't always enter into the equation and so perhaps shouldn't be compared with meet requests?

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

We are still fairly new to swinging. BUT we have found at parties that we have ended up playing with people who we would never have played with if looking at a profile. Now we put this down to the fact that chemistry between people does not come across on a computer. We have not lowered or standards but have found our prefrences are not cast in stone.

Regarding proper friends and swinging friends.... Well our proper friends wives think that sex is some thing that is done 3 or 4 times a year to shut hubby up. They think Frisky is strange for enjoying sex. So we keep the two halves of our lives a part. Not ashamed but not compatable...

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