Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The kind of behaviour you’re experiencing is discrimination, but is very much (sadly) the socially acceptable sort. It’s not that long since mixed race couples got singled out, and no doubt in some places still do, same with same sex couples, but society has evolved a great deal in terms of those types of relationships thankfully, but age gap relationships are still ridiculed and sometimes vilified and it has to stop." I agree with this. It was said in a mocking way, so the maliciousness wasn’t that noticeable, but I was effectively made to feel that I was not supposed to be there or in the company I was with. I didn’t feel it at first, but as time went by I felt worse and more uncomfortable. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The kind of behaviour you’re experiencing is discrimination, but is very much (sadly) the socially acceptable sort. It’s not that long since mixed race couples got singled out, and no doubt in some places still do, same with same sex couples, but society has evolved a great deal in terms of those types of relationships thankfully, but age gap relationships are still ridiculed and sometimes vilified and it has to stop. I agree with this. It was said in a mocking way, so the maliciousness wasn’t that noticeable, but I was effectively made to feel that I was not supposed to be there or in the company I was with. I didn’t feel it at first, but as time went by I felt worse and more uncomfortable. " I’m sorry you had to experience that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I actually lost my virginity lady 17 years older than me when was 19. It was an amazing experience to understand how fun sex could be. I learnt so much. " I had exactly the same experience. Until recently I had a FWB who was over 60. You’d never know and by God was she amazing to be with, intellectually and in the sack. Don’t care how old you are, if there’s a connection then what does it matter! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The kind of behaviour you’re experiencing is discrimination, but is very much (sadly) the socially acceptable sort. It’s not that long since mixed race couples got singled out, and no doubt in some places still do, same with same sex couples, but society has evolved a great deal in terms of those types of relationships thankfully, but age gap relationships are still ridiculed and sometimes vilified and it has to stop." But that’s not really the case is it? Since time began it’s been deemed perfectly acceptable for an older guy to have a younger partner - he’s admired by his peers and the assumption is that he must be successful. The opposite applies when an older woman has a younger partner. She’s derided and referred to as a cougar - and both are generally ridiculed. It’s high time attitudes changed - but like attitudes towards openly promiscuous women - I doubt they will any time soon. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have to say I think your bloody gorgeous…. I’d say any guy no matter what age is lucky to be with you xx" Fully agree with this, your age might not be the appeal - its the fact that you're as fit as! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ah the bitchy reference to a woman's age in order to put her "in her place". Men and women do it. Personally I don't think it has anything to do with you and everything to do with the person making the comment. Some deep well of insecurity brings forth vitriol that escapes from their mouth. A cold caller made reference to my age once when I denied being in an accident that wasn't my fault" he told me I was so old I'd probably forgotten. I laughed out loud. Time to stop attempting to shame women for being alive past child bearing age " Absolutely this. All day. Every day. And I’m sorry to the OP that you had to experience that. x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ah the bitchy reference to a woman's age in order to put her "in her place". Men and women do it. Personally I don't think it has anything to do with you and everything to do with the person making the comment." Absolutely this. You’re unlikely to meet a great intellect working the door in a nightclub. As for why an older woman, sometimes they know they’re own mind better, although often they are just more aware of the conflicts. Sometimes they’re more confident, although society doesn’t make that easy. Whatever the reason, you can’t help who you fancy. He fancies you | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You could reserve the question, women, young men, so what is the real appeal? Maybe he was making small talk and you took it personally. The appeal of older women to me is it feels wrong like I am being corrupted. Too many people pointing to society, while ignoring biology." Small talk when you're entering a club is asking how you got there or if you'd travelled far not making personal remarks about height and relative age. Personal remarks are designed to be taken personally | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I actually lost my virginity lady 17 years older than me when was 19. It was an amazing experience to understand how fun sex could be. I learnt so much. I had exactly the same experience. Until recently I had a FWB who was over 60. You’d never know and by God was she amazing to be with, intellectually and in the sack. Don’t care how old you are, if there’s a connection then what does it matter!" Thank you. x I’ve been told this- I’ve always got on better with people younger by myself- most of my friends, vanilla and otherwise, are 5-10 years younger and they say they love learning from me. Especially about the 80s as they were babies! Haha! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You could reserve the question, women, young men, so what is the real appeal? Maybe he was making small talk and you took it personally. The appeal of older women to me is it feels wrong like I am being corrupted. Too many people pointing to society, while ignoring biology." Thanks for your opinion. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who thought they were being corrupted by me. I like people to make their own life decisions and take responsibility for them! As for taking things personally, it is hard not to. Would he had said anything if it had been a 48 year old man and a 36 year old woman? and it had never happened before, so it really disconcerted me! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My honest opinion OP ... I think the door man was envious of your Fab Friend & you...What height was the door man outta curiosity... I take it your Fab Friend is way taller than him & maybe the door man has short boy syndrome... " Haha! A friend of mine thinks the bouncer was probably hitting on him and I was the pesky partner so he had to belittle me... The guy was not short, but he was standing on a step and he was still way shorter, haha! Had to look up. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have to say I think your bloody gorgeous…. I’d say any guy no matter what age is lucky to be with you xx" Aaaw, thank you so much! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"From my early teens, I fancied older women and because I always looked too young for my age (not a boast, it's a real problem), girls my age were not really interested and I didn't find much connection with younger girls. In recent times I have had some of my best encounters at clubs with retired women. I enjoy the company of older women as they usually get my jokes and can often talk about a wider range of topics. I also find it easier to flirt with them, though this may just be me! Everyone has their own thing - gay, straight, older, younger, blonde, brunette etc. - perhaps it's better not to worry and just take things as they are. After all, do you question why you like a younger man? " My friend does look younger than his 36 years (I have a thing for “babyface” men ) but still, I honestly don’t think we looked that oddly mismatched! It is 12 years, not 30! Hehe! I’ve always gravitated to younger people. I had to leave uni due to money issues and came back as a mature student (at 23... “mature”, lol) so most of the people I met were younger. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So endemic is the women and age dilemma that we are now hard wired to look for judgement even when it isn't there. " So so wise Granny | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So endemic is the women and age dilemma that we are now hard wired to look for judgement even when it isn't there. " Is it not there though? Had I been with a man who could effectivelybe my son in terms of age- as in if I’d been 17+ years older, then yes, I wouldn’t have considered it as a judgement... but it did seem like a snide comment to me. Hey, I’m not British, I’m not white- I’ve had my fair share of discriminatory remarks in my 18 years here. I know how not to to react to provocation. But this really threw me. I didn’t react at the time, but also to my own detriment, I am an overthinker so tend to process things later on. Still all views appreciated. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is exactly why I won’t meet guys younger than myself. They make me feel old! I don’t like feeling old and I don’t feel old day to day but around young guys, it makes me realise that I am actually getting old! I hate it! " You’re not remotely old, and nor do you look it. You may be the age you are, but I think a lot of ladies suffer from what I call “the M&S effect” - that they may be 42, but hope to and can pass for closer to 30, whereas society deems them to be older than they actually are. The difference between a lady’s age in her mind and how society sees them can be as much as 20 years, and that’s bullshit. The beauty of a lady in her 40s-50s is that she’s smart enough to dress a little younger without looking like she’s trying too hard, and that is really sexy. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is exactly why I won’t meet guys younger than myself. They make me feel old! I don’t like feeling old and I don’t feel old day to day but around young guys, it makes me realise that I am actually getting old! I hate it! You’re not remotely old, and nor do you look it. You may be the age you are, but I think a lot of ladies suffer from what I call “the M&S effect” - that they may be 42, but hope to and can pass for closer to 30, whereas society deems them to be older than they actually are. The difference between a lady’s age in her mind and how society sees them can be as much as 20 years, and that’s bullshit. The beauty of a lady in her 40s-50s is that she’s smart enough to dress a little younger without looking like she’s trying too hard, and that is really sexy." I don't want to pass as younger than I am. I want people, not just men, to see *me* rather than a perceived age. I'm probably 20 years older than some women on this thread who are feeling old it makes me feel a bit sad that they feel that way | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I tend to meet men in their late 40's although at clubs I will seek younger as nobody asks questions. It is a shame how society still judges people in 2021. " No harm in seeking fun regardless of age | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd be interested to know the number of long term relationships between older women and younger men in comparison to the opposite. " My partner and I have been together 3 years, just got engaged. I'm 51 he's 26 | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I went to a bar with a friend I met on Fab last Saturday night. We’ve known each other for over two years, have a great friendship as well as a great sexual connection. I am also 12 years older than him. When we got to the (vanilla) bar, the bouncer first asked him how tall he was (he is *very* tall) and then he turned to me and asked me: “Is he your son?” I should know better, I am at an age that I supposedly shouldn’t give a flying fudge about these things and move on. I laughed it off at the time and just said “yeah- he’s got great genes, hasn’t he?” but after a while it really hit me and completely knocked my confidence. We were there for a short time and he noticed my discomfort. I got the usual pay no notice, he’s an idiot, he wishes he could be with someone like you etc... and he said that he is with me because he really likes me and enjoys my company. The fact that I am older is purely coincidental. I -am- definitely older but not geriatric by any means! I am a runner, I go to the gym, my Garmin watch says I have the fitness level of a 28-year-old, so it must be true! We hear all the typical “ah, older women know what they want...” reality is, many times I don’t know what flavour ice cream I want. or we hear “Older women are confident...” when we ask what is the appeal in older women. So, I ask you, fellow fabbers- what do you like about older women? And dont give me that “you’re more confident or know what you want” spiel... " Sorry, what was the question? Got engrossed in perving over your amazing pics & videos! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd be interested to know the number of long term relationships between older women and younger men in comparison to the opposite. My partner and I have been together 3 years, just got engaged. I'm 51 he's 26" Congratulations to you both | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I went to a bar with a friend I met on Fab last Saturday night. We’ve known each other for over two years, have a great friendship as well as a great sexual connection. I am also 12 years older than him. When we got to the (vanilla) bar, the bouncer first asked him how tall he was (he is *very* tall) and then he turned to me and asked me: “Is he your son?” I should know better, I am at an age that I supposedly shouldn’t give a flying fudge about these things and move on. I laughed it off at the time and just said “yeah- he’s got great genes, hasn’t he?” but after a while it really hit me and completely knocked my confidence. We were there for a short time and he noticed my discomfort. I got the usual pay no notice, he’s an idiot, he wishes he could be with someone like you etc... and he said that he is with me because he really likes me and enjoys my company. The fact that I am older is purely coincidental. I -am- definitely older but not geriatric by any means! I am a runner, I go to the gym, my Garmin watch says I have the fitness level of a 28-year-old, so it must be true! We hear all the typical “ah, older women know what they want...” reality is, many times I don’t know what flavour ice cream I want. or we hear “Older women are confident...” when we ask what is the appeal in older women. So, I ask you, fellow fabbers- what do you like about older women? And dont give me that “you’re more confident or know what you want” spiel... " OP, did you report the incident to the bar management? Doormen are often hired from an outside company, and any reputable bar manager/owner would be horrified to hear that their guests were being verbally assaulted (yes, however insidiously, that’s what it amounts to!) by any member of their staff, in-house or contract. Who knows how many other guests they’ve lost the custom of, just because of this ignorant, arrogant arsehole’s venom spoiling their visit? You are beautiful; age is nothing but a concept created by man to mark the passing of time (also a manmade concept). Nothing can change that xxx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"These are often questions about motive and intent. Young guys seem to think the have more to offer than older guys, you see it all the time in forums and chat in their comments. Do women believe that also? So the other side is what do women see in guys 10-20 years their junior. What is it that attracts them. Withought going into subjective reasoning, if such comments make you uncomfortable then, think the question needs to be asked, why? " Physically I'm attracted to certain things, the (legal) age of the man is irrelevant. When it comes to acting on physical attraction I find I'm more compatible with men over 45 on a mental and emotional level. I don't believe young men have more to offer than old men any more than the reverse is true | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My wife's 11 years older then me. I think she's always been more worried of me leaving for a younger ladie. Whitch I've always reassured her she has nothink to worry about. But didn't seem to make much difference to her. Age is a number if u ask me. Xx" So I assume she doesn't knot you're on Fab then ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Society hasn't accepted the role reversal of an older women and younger guy. Personally I've always been attracted to younger men but its never gone further than the bedroom. I couldn't face the nudges and whispered comment's if I were to start a relationship with a younger man. I'm a confident, independent women who doesn't usually give a f*ck what people think but this is the one area where it would bother me. As its been said, we have all these various genders and sexuality's that no one bats an eye over but an older woman and younger man is still not acceptable." I am closest to this answer in my experience. I can accept why a younger man might be interested in me, and Im usually immune to public opinion of me, but I do have a self-consciousness to judgement in the this regard that I cant reconcile. Its unsettling | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |