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AITA

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire

So, bit of a long story but I’m curious as to other people’s thoughts.

I’ve been seeing this single woman for about 4 months and have had a meet with her about once a week.

I knew that she liked going BB with her meets so I asked my wife (yes I’m married and she knows 100% what I do and doesn’t mind me meeting) if she would mind if I went BB with my ‘FB’. My wife said she wouldn’t mind as long as it was with just me.

So, I asked my FB and she agreed to not go BB with others out of respect for my wife and would hate the fact if she passed something on to her. …. I did say if she didn’t want to agree then that’s fine.

Anyway, we went to a club the other weekend and we were having sex in the jacuzzi. A guy was sat next to us and he indicated to me if he could play as well. So, I asked my FB if she wanted to, she said yeah and in the blink of an eye was sat on his cock without a condom. I was gobsmacked….. I handed her a condom but I could tell by the look on her face she wasn’t happy and by the way she gave it to the guy to put on.

I don’t believe he put it on as he did it under water and was very quick putting it on.

Anyway , she got off after a while and said I don’t have to hang around if I didn’t want to (I think she was thinking I was cramping her style). I said I’ll have a wonder around. As soon as I was getting out of the jacuzzi another guy was fucking her, which was fine as that was one of the reasons I took her. But, again I’m not convinced he had a condom on as he was in her almost as soon as I turned my back.

Anyway, I was thinking…. Wtf do I do now. Do I confront her and have a scene at the club (we had gone in her car and booked a room). Or do I play it cool and see what happens.

I decided to play it cool.

In the morning I wasn’t all over her like I normally but again didn’t want an atmosphere on the way home.

I did have sex with her in the morning but used a condom, which she didn’t query.

I regret having sex in the morning and shouldn’t have done under the circumstances….. not sure why I did.

Anyway, a few days later she messaged me and said she had a great time. I replied I’m glad she did but I want be doing it again with her or meeting again and told her why.

She was pretty indignant about and didn’t seem to see the issue about not wearing a condom at the club with random guys, despite our arrangement.

Anyway….. I’m interested in hearing other people’s thoughts as to whether I was right to be pissed off with her

X

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I get why you’d be upset, you’d made an agreement together and she went against that. You’re entitled to have sex with who you want, so if her going bare with others is an issue for you then you are quite right to not continue with her

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You asked her to use condoms with other people, she agreed then in front of your very eyes didn't. Yes you're entitled to be upset. If I were you I'd get tested just to be on the safe side.

My personal opinion is that if you have significant other you shouldn't bareback with anyone else, people are notoriously unreliable

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

NTA, you had an agreement, which you specifically put in place to protect your wife as much as yourself yet your play partner clearly has no respect for that.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

That would be the end of things with her if that were me in your shoes as you had a clearly defined agreement and she had no qualms going against it.

If there is no trust with a regular FWB then what's the point of carrying on as she had no regard for yours or your wife's sexual health so what else wouldn't she be bothered about.

The next thing I'd be doing is getting a full suite of testing done by both you and your wife to make sure you're both OK.

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire

Thanks for your comments guys I much appreciate your consideration.

As you have all mentioned I’m getting myself tested.

I would have thought I could trust someone but alas not.

Still her loss at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry all i can think about is what a cess pit those jacuzzis are in clubs

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Yeah that's kinda messed up if she agreed to it and just disregarded it in front of you very uncool and those guys didn't sound very respectful either did they even ask before starting to play

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"Yeah that's kinda messed up if she agreed to it and just disregarded it in front of you very uncool and those guys didn't sound very respectful either did they even ask before starting to play"

The one did (the first one)…..not sure about the other as I was getting out of the jacuzzi at the time. But, I would imagine so …..I’m not 100% sure, though. They did go to a room shortly after apparently

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If she can blatantly disrespect your agreement in front of you, then what does she do behind your back?!

Trust is key and this sounds like a total breach in trust.

It would be a complete deal breaker for us.

C

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Sorry all i can think about is what a cess pit those jacuzzis are in clubs "

A club owner once told me during a show around, that they clean their play jacuzzi once a week (like that was a good thing)

C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, bit of a long story but I’m curious as to other people’s thoughts.

I’ve been seeing this single woman for about 4 months and have had a meet with her about once a week.

I knew that she liked going BB with her meets so I asked my wife (yes I’m married and she knows 100% what I do and doesn’t mind me meeting) if she would mind if I went BB with my ‘FB’. My wife said she wouldn’t mind as long as it was with just me.

So, I asked my FB and she agreed to not go BB with others out of respect for my wife and would hate the fact if she passed something on to her. …. I did say if she didn’t want to agree then that’s fine.

Anyway, we went to a club the other weekend and we were having sex in the jacuzzi. A guy was sat next to us and he indicated to me if he could play as well. So, I asked my FB if she wanted to, she said yeah and in the blink of an eye was sat on his cock without a condom. I was gobsmacked….. I handed her a condom but I could tell by the look on her face she wasn’t happy and by the way she gave it to the guy to put on.

I don’t believe he put it on as he did it under water and was very quick putting it on.

Anyway , she got off after a while and said I don’t have to hang around if I didn’t want to (I think she was thinking I was cramping her style). I said I’ll have a wonder around. As soon as I was getting out of the jacuzzi another guy was fucking her, which was fine as that was one of the reasons I took her. But, again I’m not convinced he had a condom on as he was in her almost as soon as I turned my back.

Anyway, I was thinking…. Wtf do I do now. Do I confront her and have a scene at the club (we had gone in her car and booked a room). Or do I play it cool and see what happens.

I decided to play it cool.

In the morning I wasn’t all over her like I normally but again didn’t want an atmosphere on the way home.

I did have sex with her in the morning but used a condom, which she didn’t query.

I regret having sex in the morning and shouldn’t have done under the circumstances….. not sure why I did.

Anyway, a few days later she messaged me and said she had a great time. I replied I’m glad she did but I want be doing it again with her or meeting again and told her why.

She was pretty indignant about and didn’t seem to see the issue about not wearing a condom at the club with random guys, despite our arrangement.

Anyway….. I’m interested in hearing other people’s thoughts as to whether I was right to be pissed off with her

X

"

So nieve mate. She saw you coming a mile away. She is out to get what she can regardless to satisfy her needs. Move on and don't be do dumb next time

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Sorry all i can think about is what a cess pit those jacuzzis are in clubs

A club owner once told me during a show around, that they clean their play jacuzzi once a week (like that was a good thing)

C"

I would never go in a jacuzzi at a club. I thought they had strict rules about sex in the hot tub anyway .

I'd be interested to know how the first guy got a condom on under water

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"If she can blatantly disrespect your agreement in front of you, then what does she do behind your back?!

Trust is key and this sounds like a total breach in trust.

It would be a complete deal breaker for us.

C"

Yeah those were my thoughts as well

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"Sorry all i can think about is what a cess pit those jacuzzis are in clubs

A club owner once told me during a show around, that they clean their play jacuzzi once a week (like that was a good thing)

C

I would never go in a jacuzzi at a club. I thought they had strict rules about sex in the hot tub anyway .

I'd be interested to know how the first guy got a condom on under water "

Yeah that’s what I thought…..and so quickly. Which is also why I don’t think the second guy had one on either as I’m was in there so quickly….unless he put it on before moving across from the other side of the jacuzzi….. who knows but it’s academic now as I’m not meeting her anymore

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"So, bit of a long story but I’m curious as to other people’s thoughts.

I’ve been seeing this single woman for about 4 months and have had a meet with her about once a week.

I knew that she liked going BB with her meets so I asked my wife (yes I’m married and she knows 100% what I do and doesn’t mind me meeting) if she would mind if I went BB with my ‘FB’. My wife said she wouldn’t mind as long as it was with just me.

So, I asked my FB and she agreed to not go BB with others out of respect for my wife and would hate the fact if she passed something on to her. …. I did say if she didn’t want to agree then that’s fine.

Anyway, we went to a club the other weekend and we were having sex in the jacuzzi. A guy was sat next to us and he indicated to me if he could play as well. So, I asked my FB if she wanted to, she said yeah and in the blink of an eye was sat on his cock without a condom. I was gobsmacked….. I handed her a condom but I could tell by the look on her face she wasn’t happy and by the way she gave it to the guy to put on.

I don’t believe he put it on as he did it under water and was very quick putting it on.

Anyway , she got off after a while and said I don’t have to hang around if I didn’t want to (I think she was thinking I was cramping her style). I said I’ll have a wonder around. As soon as I was getting out of the jacuzzi another guy was fucking her, which was fine as that was one of the reasons I took her. But, again I’m not convinced he had a condom on as he was in her almost as soon as I turned my back.

Anyway, I was thinking…. Wtf do I do now. Do I confront her and have a scene at the club (we had gone in her car and booked a room). Or do I play it cool and see what happens.

I decided to play it cool.

In the morning I wasn’t all over her like I normally but again didn’t want an atmosphere on the way home.

I did have sex with her in the morning but used a condom, which she didn’t query.

I regret having sex in the morning and shouldn’t have done under the circumstances….. not sure why I did.

Anyway, a few days later she messaged me and said she had a great time. I replied I’m glad she did but I want be doing it again with her or meeting again and told her why.

She was pretty indignant about and didn’t seem to see the issue about not wearing a condom at the club with random guys, despite our arrangement.

Anyway….. I’m interested in hearing other people’s thoughts as to whether I was right to be pissed off with her

X

So nieve mate. She saw you coming a mile away. She is out to get what she can regardless to satisfy her needs. Move on and don't be do dumb next time"

Yeah I know I should have known better but she seemed genuinely excepting for me to go BB with her within the agreement we spoke about…..live and learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being married and having a fb normally always ends up messy...

Be careful and take care x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are quite right to be pissed off. It sounds to me like she wanted someone to ferry her about to the club's. She had a total disregard for you and your wishes at the club.

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

NTA. Breaching your trust is what's ruined a relationship for me in the past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're just annoyed that you didn't get to be in control of the sex life of someone you have a casual arrangement with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I know why I avoid clubs...yuk!

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"I think you're just annoyed that you didn't get to be in control of the sex life of someone you have a casual arrangement with "

Yeah right….. you obviously don’t know me at all as that was definitely not the case.

No, I was annoyed that she sat on someone’s skanky cock and then she expected to continue doing the same with me after she agreed she wouldn’t out of ‘respect for my wife’ as she put it.

That’s laughable…. No respect or consideration for me or my wife….. or anybody else for that matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you're just annoyed that you didn't get to be in control of the sex life of someone you have a casual arrangement with

Yeah right….. you obviously don’t know me at all as that was definitely not the case.

No, I was annoyed that she sat on someone’s skanky cock and then she expected to continue doing the same with me after she agreed she wouldn’t out of ‘respect for my wife’ as she put it.

That’s laughable…. No respect or consideration for me or my wife….. or anybody else for that matter "

I'd say I have the measure of you just fine

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP it's not good but I think you were probably naive to expect her to suddenly stop going bare with other meets, given that this is clearly her preference.

I would also suggest that your wife gets tested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd fuck her right off and wouldn't give her the time of day. She's putting your health at risk and lying to you. If she doesn't want to use protection then she should never have agreed to it. I wouldn't be able to trust her at all.

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"OP it's not good but I think you were probably naive to expect her to suddenly stop going bare with other meets, given that this is clearly her preference.

I would also suggest that your wife gets tested.

Yeah I know you’re right it was naive of me. I got myself tested before we started going BB together and I’m awaiting on another one coming in the post soon. In the mean time I’m using condoms with my wife

"

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

God..your wife must think you're being disrespectful to her now

Does she have any similar arrangements like that with her fuckbuddies?

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By *he Muffinman OP   Man
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"I think you're just annoyed that you didn't get to be in control of the sex life of someone you have a casual arrangement with

Yeah right….. you obviously don’t know me at all as that was definitely not the case.

No, I was annoyed that she sat on someone’s skanky cock and then she expected to continue doing the same with me after she agreed she wouldn’t out of ‘respect for my wife’ as she put it.

That’s laughable…. No respect or consideration for me or my wife….. or anybody else for that matter

I'd say I have the measure of you just fine "

If you read the original post correctly you will see that I was absolutely fine with her fucking who pleased. However, we had an agreement that she would use a condom with others. If she didn’t want to do that then she shouldn’t have agreed to it so eagerly, but she did.

In my book if you enter into an agreement with somebody you abide by it and don’t destroy that trust. If you don’t think or want to abide by it then don’t agree to it. That’s what I’m pissed about her agreeing to it and then so blatantly breaking that trust without any consideration for my sexual health and that of my wife. The blatant disregard for anybody else except yourself is what grips my shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you read the original post correctly you will see that I was absolutely fine with her fucking who pleased. However, we had an agreement that she would use a condom with others. If she didn’t want to do that then she shouldn’t have agreed to it so eagerly, but she did.

In my book if you enter into an agreement with somebody you abide by it and don’t destroy that trust. If you don’t think or want to abide by it then don’t agree to it. That’s what I’m pissed about her agreeing to it and then so blatantly breaking that trust without any consideration for my sexual health and that of my wife. The blatant disregard for anybody else except yourself is what grips my shit

"

By your own admission, you knew she liked bareback. I get that you're pissed off you no longer get to do that with her due to your complicated set up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry all i can think about is what a cess pit those jacuzzis are in clubs "

Me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one thing people should learn never trust somebody else's sexual heath or what they do .... trust is some thing that takes a long time to build ..look after your self that all you can do

i feel for the woman if im honest sounds like she agreed to something she really did not want whiles you had your cake and hers too ...your married its your cock its your problem as for her doing what she wanted fair play you dont own her no matter what the agreement was..

jacuzzis are yuk full stop never get me in one i also find it strange that people were having sex in there so jizz in the water (amongst other fluids n solids) but you still wanted the guys to wear a condom yet you were in jizz soup already ...

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