Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swingers Chat |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm straight. Never make advances towards other men, but when you're at a club and about to leave and some guy kneels down and starts sucking you off it is not an easy situation to get out of without causing offence as often it comes out of the blue and I'm in a state of confusion for a moment as I think "what the hell is he doing", but they soon feel my cock go limp and take the hint that I'm not interested without causing offence. I drew the line a few years ago when a hairy guy at a club stuck his tongue down my throat and I had to physically push him away. Just wish people were aware that straight guys are just as vulnerable as unescorted women in clubs. I just wish it was more commonly known so that single straight guys know to stay on their guard as Bi advances are more common at clubs than people realize and that chatting with a guy in the hot tub can create the wrong message. Nowadays I say nothing to other guys in clubs except basic pleasantries because you don't know where it can lead you into. Even a smile can be taken the wrong way. I workout to impress the ladies, not the men. When guys compliment me I roll my eyes and say "here we go again". "so you let guys do things to you you dont want them to do ? thats sexual assault ... but if your saying it happens often then you must be giving something off ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ever met a guy who claimed he was straight, and gave no hint he was Bi, and then suddenly goes full swing with other men? From personal observation I can tell gay and straight men apart by their different personalities, voice, tastes, clothing etc but the Bi ones are very hard to spot as they fall into both categories. The reason I ask is because 9/10 times at clubs and bars I meet and develop friendships with guys who claim they are straight and talk about hot women, but then out of the blue they make sudden advances towards me and end up sucking me off which is an unusual and often confusing experience as it came out of nowhere. Anyone else meet 'straight' guys who where really bi which took you by surprise and was it a bad or good surprise? " I don’t know what kind of bars or clubs you go to but I’ve never had that happen to me. I am 100% straight. Not fab straight. There would never ever be any occasion where a man would happen to be anywhere close enough to me to even grab my cock let alone suck it. They’re would get told immediately it’s not appreciated and to fuck off. I think you need to admit to yourself that you are bi. Nothing wrong with it, but to keep finding yourself in situations where men seem to suck you off and you let them, tells me that you’re giving off signals for them to go for it… | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Been to loads of clubs on Bi nights, wearing a skirt or dress so easily accessible to my cock, but not once has someone gone down on me without my consent.
I’m not saying this didn’t happen but you need to be a bit more assertive with these new male friends, especially if they suddenly lungs at your crotch.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Trouble is that I have always been the beta in all of my past relationships. I have got used to girls doing what they like to me sexually which is my personal turn on as I oblige their requests. So when it comes to guys trying it on suddenly without consent and somewhat aggressively force themselves, I honestly get confused and don't know how to react as I am accustomed to the beta approach of recieving, and it all happens very quickly e.g. You go to a club and meet a lovely couple who invite you to join in the action and the husband grabs your cock and exchanges it between her mouth and his. I don't know how to convey my dislike to his actions without causing offence or spoiling the atmos especially as it is a great honour to be selected over the other men. Another example is when it's late and all couples have left, and you go to a playroom to jack off when a guy whom you chatted with in the hot tub comes in and immediately grabs your cock and sucks deep and you are taken by surprise and trying to convey that you are not interested without causing offence by trying to make your cock go limp in the hopes that they will go away which they thankfully do. The annoying thing is they are so darn polite before and afterwards that it feels like nothing wrong happened, and you are left confused by what just happened, and the realization of what occurred doesn't register in the mind until long afterwards like a delayed response and you convince yourself that you sent them the wrong signal in the hot tub when you smiled and laughed at their stories which leads you to think that you gave consent by being sociable. As a result I am now much less sociable to men as I never know where it can lead to, and I can now handle it as I've grown accustomed to it especially in clubs and bars, but it is the younger guys I worry about who might be overwhelmed by it and are unwilling to report any misconduct as they might think it is supposed to happen at clubs and would be unwilling to admit to anyone that they were even there. Makes you wonder how many predators take advantage of clubs and target young vulnerable straight guys who are thrown in the deep end and left confused about their sexuality afterwards. " I'm bisexual, been to clubs, saunas, cruising the lot. Guys will make advances. A simple stop gesture with your hand and a shake of the head is all you need when this happens. You can't worry about offending someone, they're in a club. If they can't handle rejection they shouldn't be there, nor is it your problem anyway. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Trouble is that I have always been the beta in all of my past relationships. I have got used to girls doing what they like to me sexually which is my personal turn on as I oblige their requests. So when it comes to guys trying it on suddenly without consent and somewhat aggressively force themselves, I honestly get confused and don't know how to react as I am accustomed to the beta approach of recieving, and it all happens very quickly e.g. You go to a club and meet a lovely couple who invite you to join in the action and the husband grabs your cock and exchanges it between her mouth and his. I don't know how to convey my dislike to his actions without causing offence or spoiling the atmos especially as it is a great honour to be selected over the other men. Another example is when it's late and all couples have left, and you go to a playroom to jack off when a guy whom you chatted with in the hot tub comes in and immediately grabs your cock and sucks deep and you are taken by surprise and trying to convey that you are not interested without causing offence by trying to make your cock go limp in the hopes that they will go away which they thankfully do. The annoying thing is they are so darn polite before and afterwards that it feels like nothing wrong happened, and you are left confused by what just happened, and the realization of what occurred doesn't register in the mind until long afterwards like a delayed response and you convince yourself that you sent them the wrong signal in the hot tub when you smiled and laughed at their stories which leads you to think that you gave consent by being sociable. As a result I am now much less sociable to men as I never know where it can lead to, and I can now handle it as I've grown accustomed to it especially in clubs and bars, but it is the younger guys I worry about who might be overwhelmed by it and are unwilling to report any misconduct as they might think it is supposed to happen at clubs and would be unwilling to admit to anyone that they were even there. Makes you wonder how many predators take advantage of clubs and target young vulnerable straight guys who are thrown in the deep end and left confused about their sexuality afterwards. " Oh come on OP stop blaming 'the preditors' and own the fact that YOU are putting yourself in vulnerable positions that you clearly don't like or can't handle. This is the tip of the iceburg compared to what women go through, no offense but your situation is laughable. Find a couple that you can be yourself with and ditch this polite shit, it's clearly not working for you! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's not sexual assault if he let's them do it" While I appreciate the nuance in what you’re saying, legally it isn’t correct and would be considered sexual assault… if he didn’t want it. Not offering physical resistance, and not saying no or stop doesn’t by itself constitute consent. Many victims of sexual assault go limp and their body shuts down due to the trauma. It’s a complex subject. In the case of the OPs situation, he is conducting himself as someone who very much wants the attention, and was far from limp. The photo suggests a big lad who can probably look after himself. I’d suggest OP either give your voice a workout, learn to say no, or stop, and if that’s not enough don’t worry about offence… protect yourself. Alternatively, if it’s something you enjoy, accept it, embrace it, and live your best life. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Oh come on OP stop blaming 'the preditors' and own the fact that YOU are putting yourself in vulnerable positions that you clearly don't like or can't handle." Would you give that advice to a woman? It’s victim shaming. Without consent, it’s sexual assault. End of! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I can be forceful when warranted, but the encounter only lasts a short time before my rejection is made fully clear to them and is barely worth making an issue about because guys just learn to deal with it in our own way. It never goes too far. Naturally I would report any incidents that could be regarded as assault. I am just concerned that young straight guys who are new to the swinging scene may get unwarranted advances by men who they thought were straight but were secretly lusting for them the whole time they were chatting in the hot tub. Just saying to be on guard." Wow OP welcome to a women's world! I'm shocked by the blatent inequality you express here, we ALL have the right to lust after and flirt with whoever the fuck we like and nobody should be shamed or told they shouldn't do that. Crossing a line is something different. I'm really uncomfortable with the way you describe these 'preditors' who are actually no different than anyone else, enjoying the sexy atmosphere, eyeing up who they like, fancying who they like, flirting with who they like etc. ANYONE who makes an advance and doesn't take no for an answer has crossed a line I agree but you wait until you're actually getting sucked off to say no and even then you don't really say it! This is really offensive to the person doing it and kind of reverse preditory in itself. I'd be horrified if that happened to me! No means no but suck me off till I go limp means you need to revise the way you approach sex. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Oh come on OP stop blaming 'the preditors' and own the fact that YOU are putting yourself in vulnerable positions that you clearly don't like or can't handle. Would you give that advice to a woman? It’s victim shaming. Without consent, it’s sexual assault. End of!" I appreciate there are subtleties to this particular situation and in no way am I victim shaming here, I meant more that the op should not go to a club where he feels so intimidated and I would say the same to a women yes. If you don't feel safe don't go. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Oh come on OP stop blaming 'the preditors' and own the fact that YOU are putting yourself in vulnerable positions that you clearly don't like or can't handle. Would you give that advice to a woman? It’s victim shaming. Without consent, it’s sexual assault. End of!" This is a good point I don’t think I would’ve made my comment about being more assertive, if a woman had made this post. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's not sexual assault if he let's them do it While I appreciate the nuance in what you’re saying, legally it isn’t correct and would be considered sexual assault… if he didn’t want it. Not offering physical resistance, and not saying no or stop doesn’t by itself constitute consent. Many victims of sexual assault go limp and their body shuts down due to the trauma. It’s a complex subject. In the case of the OPs situation, he is conducting himself as someone who very much wants the attention, and was far from limp. The photo suggests a big lad who can probably look after himself. I’d suggest OP either give your voice a workout, learn to say no, or stop, and if that’s not enough don’t worry about offence… protect yourself. Alternatively, if it’s something you enjoy, accept it, embrace it, and live your best life. " Thank you so much I really appreciate this perspective. Consent is indeed a complex matter and I understand where the op is coming from a little more now perhaps. Why he keeps going back for more however is beyond me it's clearly not the best environment for him and there are so many other ways to enjoy sex. All the best xxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thank you so much I really appreciate this perspective. Consent is indeed a complex matter and I understand where the op is coming from a little more now perhaps. Why he keeps going back for more however is beyond me it's clearly not the best environment for him and there are so many other ways to enjoy sex. All the best xxx" You’re welcome! Every day is a school day. As someone else has already said, there is something of “Little Britain” about this. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Your straight but let guys suck you off Newsflash your bi sexual "Exactly what I said. It’s a case of I’m not gay but my boyfriend is… OP, stop putting yourself in situations where you get sexually assaulted. Because that’s what it is if you don’t want men sucking your cock. I think you’re protesting too much. You’re big lad, sounds like you’re confused about your sexuality more than anything.. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I do wonder if this is an experiment to see differences in reactions. But taking it all on face value, OP, while noone should be blamed for the actions of others I would suggest that you look at what you can control. Much in the same way as we lock doors even tho burglars are the problems. When playing with couples, set boundaries before playing. When talking to guys let them known you're straight. Tell them you say this to avoid mixed signals. And please, say no verbally. And if this can't be done maybe avoid clubs ? I know that is shit. But surely you're safety and mental health is more important here ?" OP is not listening or taking on board anything rational that anyone else is saying, he's now claiming it never goes too far and that he can handle himself and is now worrying about all those poor young straight lads horny tired and vulnerable at 3am in a sex club with their cocks out when there's no females or couples left to play with. Absolute joke. Abandon ship! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I do wonder if this is an experiment to see differences in reactions. But taking it all on face value, OP, while noone should be blamed for the actions of others I would suggest that you look at what you can control. Much in the same way as we lock doors even tho burglars are the problems. When playing with couples, set boundaries before playing. When talking to guys let them known you're straight. Tell them you say this to avoid mixed signals. And please, say no verbally. And if this can't be done maybe avoid clubs ? I know that is shit. But surely you're safety and mental health is more important here ? OP is not listening or taking on board anything rational that anyone else is saying, he's now claiming it never goes too far and that he can handle himself and is now worrying about all those poor young straight lads horny tired and vulnerable at 3am in a sex club with their cocks out when there's no females or couples left to play with. Absolute joke. Abandon ship! " Completely agree. Allowing yourself to get sucked off out of 'politeness' is not a sexual assault and it's dangerous for the OP or anyone else who encourages him to suggest otherwise. I dread to think how an actual victim of a sexual assault would feel reading this utter nonsense. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I should be clear that my concern is about young straight men who go to clubs and are unaware that some of the presumed straight guys they meet could be covertly lusting for them and will make their advances when they least expect it. It happened to me and I was confused by it because they showed no interest until they made their advance. There is naturally a moment of confusion and crossed signals and to spare embarrassment I make them aware that I am not interested in the politest way which they appreciate without anyone being offended and we carry on chatting as if nothing happened. I've been going to clubs since 2016 and know what to expect when a guy makes physical advances without consent (usually between 3-4am when most people have gone and I'm half asleep and more vulnerable) Just a little concerned that young straight men may get one or two advances which they might be unable to deal with as it can be a confusing and traumatic experience if their rejection is not made clear. As one member mentioned above the human body kind of goes into shock mode like a deer caught in headlights and you can't think straight (pardon the pun). Women must always be on their guard, but I believe men also need to be a little more aware of the 'straight' guys they chat with as it can put both parties in an awkward situation and affect friendships. " What are you actually on about People don't just jump on other people your making it sound seady Like your this helpless Person | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ever met a guy who claimed he was straight, and gave no hint he was Bi, and then suddenly goes full swing with other men? From personal observation I can tell gay and straight men apart by their different personalities, voice, tastes, clothing etc but the Bi ones are very hard to spot as they fall into both categories. The reason I ask is because 9/10 times at clubs and bars I meet and develop friendships with guys who claim they are straight and talk about hot women, but then out of the blue they make sudden advances towards me and end up sucking me off which is an unusual and often confusing experience as it came out of nowhere. Anyone else meet 'straight' guys who where really bi which took you by surprise and was it a bad or good surprise? " And its 2021 You cannot tell who is gay and who is straight Unless you have a pink tattoo on your forehead. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
V | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"[Removed by poster at 17/09/21 18:56:07]" Straight, and I don't cum with guys. Perhaps my choice of words "sucked off" have been misinterpreted. I just meant they try to give me a bj without consent. That is all. The incident lasts a very brief moment before my rejection is made perfectly clear without causing offence. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"[The incident lasts a very brief moment before my rejection is made perfectly clear without causing offence." If I or my partner were touched inappropriately, or engaged with sexually without consent, causing offence wouldn’t be an issue, and the matter at the very least would be reported to club management. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"[The incident lasts a very brief moment before my rejection is made perfectly clear without causing offence. If I or my partner were touched inappropriately, or engaged with sexually without consent, causing offence wouldn’t be an issue, and the matter at the very least would be reported to club management." and this is the best way of protecting others too. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
