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Catfished?

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford

In order not to spoil the other catfish thread. I thought I would start another, as I think possibly I might be being catfished also:

A lady contacted me, after I posted on a thread.

She's married, but has partners permission who has said he's happy for her to play. She has no pics on her profile and has shared only one pic of herself with me. But said she wanted to meet ASAP....and we've chatted over the phone and used for the first two days KIK...she also sent a friend request, which I accepted.

We've chatted over the phone and she sounds real....but.

The last but one KIK message, says she want's help in blocking someone on KIK. Gave her the info on how to do it. - My message got read 4 days later.

Can't remember what she said in her reply but nothing out of the ordinary but also nothing to talk about either, such as what she'd been doing to prevent her turning her phone on, in those 4 days, and dropping me a message.

So I deleted her KIK messages and unfriended her on FAB. Thought that was the end of it, in that I'd fucked up.

Then I get a message yesterday at roughly 10am,

"hello sorry had some symptoms of covid not been online."

4 hours later because of work, I reply and say:

"No worries, reply when you can."

I notice that the message has still to be delivered - and a day later has yet to be delivered.

.

So, sent her a another message saying

"I've no real idea, what the issues your experiencing, which are stopping you turning your phone on and saying something like "Morning. I've had a shit night, but we will be meeting in a week's time." Or, "I'm wearing black satin panties and a corsolette. Here's a pic. What do you think?"

One message, in a week, that says you think your not well, is ridiculous. - Then you turn your phone off!!

Regards - A seriously pissed off -

Chris.

Am I being horrible/unreasonable?

Or, do you think like I do, that there's a good chance I'm being catfished?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my personal opinion yes you are being unreasonable.

The lady gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation why she had not been online.

If the lady says she has been ill with Covid she may well be telling the truth and felt so shit she didn't want to go online.

You say the lady is married, she has a life to lead, you are a sideline.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also think the message you sent her was really rude and uncalled for too.

That is of course my personal opinion.

If you sent such a message to me I would tell you politely where to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could be yes.... Or she could actually be unwell and you are far from a priority. I understand it might be frustrating but I thought your last message a bit rude tbh and don't think it was called for. If you feel somethings wrong then walk away from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my personal opinion yes you are being unreasonable.

The lady gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation why she had not been online.

If the lady says she has been ill with Covid she may well be telling the truth and felt so shit she didn't want to go online.

You say the lady is married, she has a life to lead, you are a sideline."

Yes, this.

Although I see your point her Covid excuse was a good one. I’d have expected a delay again with that.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Oh, another man who thinks he is entitled to a woman's time and effort. How new and original.

She doesn't owe you anything. It's not about manners, she isn't a service provider who has to get back to you within a certain timescale. She is a human being who likely has shit to do and fab is simply not top of the list right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my personal opinion yes you are being unreasonable.

The lady gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation why she had not been online.

If the lady says she has been ill with Covid she may well be telling the truth and felt so shit she didn't want to go online.

You say the lady is married, she has a life to lead, you are a sideline.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also think the message you sent her was really rude and uncalled for too.

That is of course my personal opinion.

If you sent such a message to me I would tell you politely where to go.

"

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford


"You could be yes.... Or she could actually be unwell and you are far from a priority. I understand it might be frustrating but I thought your last message a bit rude tbh and don't think it was called for. If you feel somethings wrong then walk away from it. "

Honestly many thanks for your reply.

I think I might delete my latest KIK message which hasn't been delivered yet then.

So it begs the question, at what length of time between messages, is that the penny should drop and I'm being catfished, or not?

Because looking at the messages on FAB, We've been a week chatting....but only the first two days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I would have made the :

"No worries, reply when you can."

... The last message and just leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you're being catfished

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You could be yes.... Or she could actually be unwell and you are far from a priority. I understand it might be frustrating but I thought your last message a bit rude tbh and don't think it was called for. If you feel somethings wrong then walk away from it.

Honestly many thanks for your reply.

I think I might delete my latest KIK message which hasn't been delivered yet then.

So it begs the question, at what length of time between messages, is that the penny should drop and I'm being catfished, or not?

Because looking at the messages on FAB, We've been a week chatting....but only the first two days."

Yes mate, get it deleted asap, i don't think there's a time limit on deciding if youve been catfished,

Was she photo verified etc?

I would have left

"No worries, reply when you can." and leave it there, if she replied fine, if not then just leave things as they are until she replies.. Or not

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By *ripodius WillyusMan
over a year ago

blackpool now

With any sites inc social media sites this can and does happen.

Frustrating yes important absolutely not.

Look around you covid afghanistan etc am trying to bring some perspective to the catfish thing.

No one gets hurt some egos yes but thats all.

Its happened to me but dismiss it as just another idiot to block.

We are adults and feel some are coming across as just wanting to bitch about someone and ironically no actual evidenc.

Block and move on.

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford


"Oh, another man who thinks he is entitled to a woman's time and effort. How new and original.

She doesn't owe you anything. It's not about manners, she isn't a service provider who has to get back to you within a certain timescale. She is a human being who likely has shit to do and fab is simply not top of the list right now. "

Would you suggest a week is adequate to wait for a reply? A month perhaps? Or, maybe six months?

The question I've posed above is not me being sarcastic. Just would like a perspective on a definitive answer, on 'how long is reasonable' any person, male or female, is expected to wait for a reply of any kind in the age of modern technology. Before, figuring that you've been catfished.

I think in all honesty, the answer will be: How long is a piece of string.

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By *rthur WrightusMan
over a year ago

Round the Bend

In my personal opinion yes you are being unreasonable.

The lady gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation why she had not been online.

If the lady says she has been ill with Covid she may well be telling the truth and felt so shit she didn't want to go online.

You say the lady is married, she has a life to lead, you are a sideline.

Precisely this

You are also coming across as 'desperate' which would worry me if I was her

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Oh, another man who thinks he is entitled to a woman's time and effort. How new and original.

She doesn't owe you anything. It's not about manners, she isn't a service provider who has to get back to you within a certain timescale. She is a human being who likely has shit to do and fab is simply not top of the list right now.

Would you suggest a week is adequate to wait for a reply? A month perhaps? Or, maybe six months?

The question I've posed above is not me being sarcastic. Just would like a perspective on a definitive answer, on 'how long is reasonable' any person, male or female, is expected to wait for a reply of any kind in the age of modern technology. Before, figuring that you've been catfished.

I think in all honesty, the answer will be: How long is a piece of string. "

I think you need to just chill a bit. Even if she never replies it doesn't mean you've been catfished, it just means she hasn't replied!

If you have doubts about her being genuine then forget her and block her.

K

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford


"You could be yes.... Or she could actually be unwell and you are far from a priority. I understand it might be frustrating but I thought your last message a bit rude tbh and don't think it was called for. If you feel somethings wrong then walk away from it.

Honestly many thanks for your reply.

I think I might delete my latest KIK message which hasn't been delivered yet then.

So it begs the question, at what length of time between messages, is that the penny should drop and I'm being catfished, or not?

Because looking at the messages on FAB, We've been a week chatting....but only the first two days.

Yes mate, get it deleted asap, i don't think there's a time limit on deciding if youve been catfished,

Was she photo verified etc?

I would have left

"No worries, reply when you can." and leave it there, if she replied fine, if not then just leave things as they are until she replies.. Or not

"

I think I've fucked up then on my last message at least. Thanks for your input btw.

No meets, like myself, and one pic...So think she must be photo verified?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Correct me if I am wrong but is a catfish not someone who is pretending to be someone they are not, in order to gain something from their victim...for instance money, pornographic pics ect

The lady is clearly a female, you have spoken to her on the phone. She has told you her marital status. How is she then a catfish??

I am off to Google catfish and further my education.

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By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester

OP, the answers would have been different if a single woman had posted the exact same thing as you did.

Frank

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By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"Correct me if I am wrong but is a catfish not someone who is pretending to be someone they are not, in order to gain something from their victim...for instance money, pornographic pics ect

The lady is clearly a female, you have spoken to her on the phone. She has told you her marital status. How is she then a catfish??

I am off to Google catfish and further my education.

"

No, a catfish is just someone pretending to be who they're not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, the answers would have been different if a single woman had posted the exact same thing as you did.

Frank"

I agree this happens but

In this instance I don't think they would be any different, well mine wouldn't be.

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford

Hmm. On that basis. I think I may have got that wrong as well.

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

If you’ve spoken to her and she is a real life woman then she isn’t fake.

She could still be a catfish because the only one pic and none on the profile would strike me as very odd.

However, as others have said, she is married and has a life to lead. Fab (and you) are not that important and who knows what other crap she is dealing with? Maybe her Covid symptoms got worse? Maybe they passed to her husband and he is getting ill? Maybe any manner of things that life throws up.

You should have left it at chat again in future when you can!

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford


"If you’ve spoken to her and she is a real life woman then she isn’t fake.

She could still be a catfish because the only one pic and none on the profile would strike me as very odd.

However, as others have said, she is married and has a life to lead. Fab (and you) are not that important and who knows what other crap she is dealing with? Maybe her Covid symptoms got worse? Maybe they passed to her husband and he is getting ill? Maybe any manner of things that life throws up.

You should have left it at chat again in future when you can!"

Made some very valid points. Thank you. Wished I'd started this thread now before I'd posted my last KIK message to her.

The only problem I have is, how long are you supposed to hang around? Having said she wants to meet ASAP. She was talking about staying over at mine.

Just think that she reeled me in and was playing me.

She had a couples thread and her 'couple' was a CD...not her hubby.

Ah well you live and learn.

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By *andyblokeMan
over a year ago

birmingham

firstly i had to look up catfished .. who makes up these silly terms ffs lol. I think you need patience and the lady seems genuine and she has issues at home married and cv19. your final reply i am guessing will have pissed her off big time. People have lives outside fabs sometimes very complicated lives...i know it can be frustrating but if you really want you have to be patient and try to see it from her side.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire


"

Would you suggest a week is adequate to wait for a reply? A month perhaps? Or, maybe six months?

The question I've posed above is not me being sarcastic. Just would like a perspective on a definitive answer, on 'how long is reasonable' any person, male or female, is expected to wait for a reply of any kind in the age of modern technology. Before, figuring that you've been catfished.

I think in all honesty, the answer will be: How long is a piece of string. "

Unless you're literally sitting staring at your phone waiting for a response why does it matter ? Just forget about it and carry on with your life. When and if she replies you can carry on with your conversations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my personal opinion yes you are being unreasonable.

The lady gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation why she had not been online.

If the lady says she has been ill with Covid she may well be telling the truth and felt so shit she didn't want to go online.

You say the lady is married, she has a life to lead, you are a sideline.

Precisely this

You are also coming across as 'desperate' which would worry me if I was her "

This

If you’d have sent me that message, I’d block you without hesitation.

Stop acting so entitled, leave her to it and if she replies, great. She may have just changed her mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmm. On that basis. I think I may have got that wrong as well. "

Don't dwell on it, what's done is done and cannot be undone as billy Shakespeare said.

Judt chalk up as experience and don't do it again you naughty boy!

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By *ermite12uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull and Romford


"Hmm. On that basis. I think I may have got that wrong as well.

Don't dwell on it, what's done is done and cannot be undone as billy Shakespeare said.

Judt chalk up as experience and don't do it again you naughty boy! "

Yep. Have to agree. With respect to dwelling: Think I'm more of a caveman type of dweller #neanderthall.

But yep, lesson learned unfortunately. The hard way I suspect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmm. On that basis. I think I may have got that wrong as well.

Don't dwell on it, what's done is done and cannot be undone as billy Shakespeare said.

Judt chalk up as experience and don't do it again you naughty boy!

Yep. Have to agree. With respect to dwelling: Think I'm more of a caveman type of dweller #neanderthall.

But yep, lesson learned unfortunately. The hard way I suspect. "

Everybody makes mistakes!

Even me believe it or not

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