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Married and cheating

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By *asycouple1971 OP   Couple
over a year ago

midlands

You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

up to you if you meet cheaters, for us the fear of a disgruntled partner on the doorstep puts us off

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"up to you if you meet cheaters, for us the fear of a disgruntled partner on the doorstep puts us off"

Same for us, plus we term our lifestyle as ethical non monogamy. And meeting cheaters is not ethical

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asycouple1971 OP   Couple
over a year ago

midlands

I guess there is always the risk of a partner finding out but maybe thats part of the fun we enjoy or maybe thats something they should fix themselves.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asycouple1971 OP   Couple
over a year ago

midlands


"I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc. "

Thanks for telling the truth and can understand how tough it is for no sex but would you be ok if your wife was on here?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I’d love to find out the wife was on here. I’d find that a massive turn on and it would hopefully kick start our own sex life. Playing as a couple would be a lot more fun

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc. "

does beg the question, if sex is that important to you, and it obviously is otherwise you wouldnt be on here, why are you still married?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple because I love my family and kids. But also like a bit of fun every now and again

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Simple because I love my family and kids. But also like a bit of fun every now and again "

you can still have time with kids and move on you know, rather that living a lie, i have done, its possable, better than being in a marrage you dont want to be in, either that or put up with what you have

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustfun009Man
over a year ago

oxford


"I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc.

does beg the question, if sex is that important to you, and it obviously is otherwise you wouldnt be on here, why are you still married?"

Well i also am in a sexless marrige...my wife has health issues and this is why...i would not leave my wife and family because of no sex, but we all have needs dont we?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ..."

its not hard to tell

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *restonM50Man
over a year ago

preston

Married.

Sexless.

I have my reasons.

I don't expect sympathy.

People will either accept or run away.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

its not hard to tell"

mmmmmm ok if your that confident then thats good been on this scene 28 years and one thing you learn is no matter what you think you know you dont .... people lie to get what they want and if they are really good then youll have no clue .... ive never ever seen any couples ask guys in clubs if they are married or not ..never ever lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Married.

Sexless.

I have my reasons.

I don't expect sympathy.

People will either accept or run away.

"

maybe look into why your marrage is sexless before joining a sex site, if you have fair enough, but many see this as an easy way to get a leg over, rather than making a relationship work, not judging, just curious

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By *icence_2_Thrill_006.9Man
over a year ago

Emsworth


"I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc. "

I’m not married but in a sexless LTR. I have met lots of lovely people in spas and clubs and private parties a lot of them in the same situation as myself

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

My wife has done the deed with married/attached guys. That’s their issue not ours in my view. I don’t want to give everyone we met the third degree on why they are here, just looking for sex like the rest of us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asycouple1971 OP   Couple
over a year ago

midlands


"My wife has done the deed with married/attached guys. That’s their issue not ours in my view. I don’t want to give everyone we met the third degree on why they are here, just looking for sex like the rest of us."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have our reasons for being here, ultimately comes down to sex.

For me, I'm married and my wife is disabled and hasn't been able to be intimate for over 10 years. I still have desires and needs. To be honest not sure how I'd feel if the opportunity arose to meet someone. I haven't met anyone yet so can't say I'm cheating.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My wife has done the deed with married/attached guys. That’s their issue not ours in my view. I don’t want to give everyone we met the third degree on why they are here, just looking for sex like the rest of us.

"

Well said

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My wife has done the deed with married/attached guys. That’s their issue not ours in my view. I don’t want to give everyone we met the third degree on why they are here, just looking for sex like the rest of us."

Absolutely!

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By *restonM50Man
over a year ago

preston


"Married.

Sexless.

I have my reasons.

I don't expect sympathy.

People will either accept or run away.

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *dventureSeeker23Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"My wife has done the deed with married/attached guys. That’s their issue not ours in my view. I don’t want to give everyone we met the third degree on why they are here, just looking for sex like the rest of us."

Agree no judgements of anyone here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *restonM50Man
over a year ago

preston


"Married.

Sexless.

I have my reasons.

I don't expect sympathy.

People will either accept or run away.

"

If my wide was on here I would be stunned but happy. Would love to see her having fun or simply know she was.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"My wife has done the deed with married/attached guys. That’s their issue not ours in my view. I don’t want to give everyone we met the third degree on why they are here, just looking for sex like the rest of us."

We don’t give the third degree, we ask if they’re attached and the partner doesn’t know. We ask every single person that. Most of the time you can spot the ones that are cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's always possible to meet someone that's married, people advertised as single could quite easily be married.

You never know what's going on in someone's relationship so I don't judge. Do I cheat? No Do I agree with cheating? No.. but I'm not going to bash someone with a moral stick who does.

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

My partner is 20 years older than me and not in the best of health and hasn't been for probably one decade at least. We are also not married or living together(Except at weekends.) and more argumentative brother and sister tbh.

'Getting out' would be the easy option, leaving her to her own devices would be a mistake. Because I know she would hit the bottle. Not to mask the pain of a break up. But to mask the fuck up of a hip replacement that has resulted in her being close to having to use a wheelchair because of the arthritic pain she suffers on a daily basis.

So, I've entered FAB to really find someone who will be more a friend, that I can have fun with and perhaps slowly develop into a relationship. As opposed to jumping into bed with straight away.

Because listening to someone who was fun years ago, who's main topic of conversation is her ailments. Is soul destroying and putting the final nail in her coffin by saying. I've had enough, I've found someone else. Even I could not be that cruel.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it’s about my behaviour and the type of person I am. It’s none of my business how you treat your wife/partner, but it is MY business how I treat her!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

Cheaters never prosper. Just be honest with your partner or wife or husband and if kids are involved they get hurt also. There never a good enough reason to cheat. apart from being spineless baskets who cant be honest with the ones they say they love

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

I’m too are married wife don’t know never met any body yet but would love too I work away most of the week and wife don’t rely want to at the weekend may be she’s getting extra not sure but I don’t hide the fact if you look at my profile it says on there but if any ladies or couples want to then say hi

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Has it ever crossed any of these peoples minds that their wives might not want sex because they have let themselves go and the husbands attitude may be wrong. Its the easy way out to just find sex somewhere else and it often comes accross that these guys want free sex on here..rather than paying a prostitute

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I am married

Yes I cheat

There are reasons that I will not explain here.

Would I mind if u found my wife on here.... not in the slightest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton


"Has it ever crossed any of these peoples minds that their wives might not want sex because they have let themselves go and the husbands attitude may be wrong. Its the easy way out to just find sex somewhere else and it often comes accross that these guys want free sex on here..rather than paying a prostitute"

Not let myself go. Wife not interested maybe health issue stopping her and would you pay a prostitute u don’t know what she may have and it’s illegal

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ooroo2019Woman
over a year ago

Chester

I have two reasons for not knowingly meeting attached people where there partner doesn’t know.

1. I’m a single person and if it was discovered then the drama being laid at my door is something that would make me feel unsafe.

2. I’ve been on the receiving end of a cheating partner. It really hurt and cause significant upset to the children. I wouldn’t want to be contributory to anyone experiencing that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"up to you if you meet cheaters, for us the fear of a disgruntled partner on the doorstep puts us off"

Same reason, we have met married men but disguised it as a “affair” as in my husband doesn’t know either xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did a thread a few weeks ago about men who cheat(upto them) who come on this site and post in the forums that its their wives fault they cheat!!! If you spent time fixing your marriage instead of looking for quick leg over you wouldn't be on here....but thats hard work isn't? But you can't leave your kids? But you can damage them for life because you want some extra fun for an hour...good luck explaining to your children why you can't see them because you wanted to dip your dick....I expect the backlash x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice


"Cheaters never prosper. Just be honest with your partner or wife or husband and if kids are involved they get hurt also. There never a good enough reason to cheat. apart from being spineless baskets who cant be honest with the ones they say they love "
just this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull


"Yes I am married

Yes I cheat

There are reasons that I will not explain here.

Would I mind if u found my wife on here.... not in the slightest. "

More to the point would your wife mind.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull


"I did a thread a few weeks ago about men who cheat(upto them) who come on this site and post in the forums that its their wives fault they cheat!!! If you spent time fixing your marriage instead of looking for quick leg over you wouldn't be on here....but thats hard work isn't? But you can't leave your kids? But you can damage them for life because you want some extra fun for an hour...good luck explaining to your children why you can't see them because you wanted to dip your dick....I expect the backlash x"

Well put.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some married men confuse couples on here as cheating

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice


"I did a thread a few weeks ago about men who cheat(upto them) who come on this site and post in the forums that its their wives fault they cheat!!! If you spent time fixing your marriage instead of looking for quick leg over you wouldn't be on here....but thats hard work isn't? But you can't leave your kids? But you can damage them for life because you want some extra fun for an hour...good luck explaining to your children why you can't see them because you wanted to dip your dick....I expect the backlash x

Well put."
exactly this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unguy_4_uMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Interesting that all the married responses are from men.

I know and am sure that there are plenty of women on here that are married and cheating with single profiles and no mention of a partner.

I don't judge, each to their own as everybody has a back story... whether you like it, agree with it or not

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

"

I guess so long as you would have the same reaction should one of you cheat on the other then at least you hold consistent values.

If you would have a go at the other person that they were having an affair with then it would feel somewhat hypercritical. So really depends on your view if the roles were reversed.

Our view more and more is that we would prefer not to but accept in some scenarios you would not know.

The reasons we would prefer not to are as follows

We would not like it if the situation was reversed.

We prefer open communication and find that sexier.

We would not want the hassle of being drawn in someone else's domestic issues if it went wrong.

If they are lying to the one person they love the most, what would they lie about to a stranger they just want to fuck.

This last one below has developed more as issues around consent become more defined.

Consent is not just about saying yes to sex, if you are in a long term monogamous relationship that builds a level of understanding behind any sexual encounter. Things like I will only bareback with my long term partner because I know it is safe.

However, if that long term partner is cheating then the unknowing partner is putting themselves at risk of a sti without full consent.

This is an issue which borders on sexual assault and so is therefore another reason we would prefer not to be party to cheating.

If you are swingers at least you can be aware of the risks both you and your long term partner are making.

So for example if a condom breaks then you can choose together how to proceed, you may decided that you should not bareback for a few weeks or months until tests come back. You may need to consider what to do about any accidental pregnancy.

A cheated partner would not have this same awareness or choice, so there are situations where you might infect someone or a man could unwittingly be fathering someone else's child.

All these are practical rather tha n morale or emotional reasons for putting us off cheats.

But the feelings of the cheated party, we also would like to consider.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/08/21 09:09:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc.

does beg the question, if sex is that important to you, and it obviously is otherwise you wouldnt be on here, why are you still married?

Well i also am in a sexless marrige...my wife has health issues and this is why...i would not leave my wife and family because of no sex, but we all have needs dont we?

I’m in the exact same situation as youJust for fun I expect the people chastising us have a brilliant sexual relationship with their partner. Try a year in our shoes and would they still say the same "

So why stay with your wife then?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Has it ever crossed any of these peoples minds that their wives might not want sex because they have let themselves go and the husbands attitude may be wrong. Its the easy way out to just find sex somewhere else and it often comes accross that these guys want free sex on here..rather than paying a prostitute

Not let myself go. Wife not interested maybe health issue stopping her and would you pay a prostitute u don’t know what she may have and it’s illegal"

Just like to make 2 points.

Paying a prostitute is not illegal.

How well would you know a swinger, they could be barebacking random every night wereas a prostitute might be safe sex only.

You see we all judge and make assumptions about others.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orkshrCplCouple
over a year ago

Ripon


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

I guess so long as you would have the same reaction should one of you cheat on the other then at least you hold consistent values.

If you would have a go at the other person that they were having an affair with then it would feel somewhat hypercritical. So really depends on your view if the roles were reversed.

Our view more and more is that we would prefer not to but accept in some scenarios you would not know.

The reasons we would prefer not to are as follows

We would not like it if the situation was reversed.

We prefer open communication and find that sexier.

We would not want the hassle of being drawn in someone else's domestic issues if it went wrong.

If they are lying to the one person they love the most, what would they lie about to a stranger they just want to fuck.

This last one below has developed more as issues around consent become more defined.

Consent is not just about saying yes to sex, if you are in a long term monogamous relationship that builds a level of understanding behind any sexual encounter. Things like I will only bareback with my long term partner because I know it is safe.

However, if that long term partner is cheating then the unknowing partner is putting themselves at risk of a sti without full consent.

This is an issue which borders on sexual assault and so is therefore another reason we would prefer not to be party to cheating.

If you are swingers at least you can be aware of the risks both you and your long term partner are making.

So for example if a condom breaks then you can choose together how to proceed, you may decided that you should not bareback for a few weeks or months until tests come back. You may need to consider what to do about any accidental pregnancy.

A cheated partner would not have this same awareness or choice, so there are situations where you might infect someone or a man could unwittingly be fathering someone else's child.

All these are practical rather tha n morale or emotional reasons for putting us off cheats.

But the feelings of the cheated party, we also would like to consider. "

Fantastically put x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow what a thread !

I'm happy to admit I'm married and I'm cheating on my wife. It's the same old story of great life together, more like friends than lovers etc.

I so dearly wish my wife would be on her, be great to know she has the same needs / wants - but sadly that's not going to happen.

Even though I have a great lifestyle and all the things we could need - I find myself envious of those couples who are about to go into this together - I would love to have that kind of relationship, I really would.

I'm always upfront to anyone I chat too, and respectful of their choice. I don't judge them, so please don't judge me

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

Ok how many profiles on here say couples but when they meet o it’s just the man meeting today ur not telling me they are not single blokes cheating and same with women

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lyreelMan
over a year ago

King's lynn

Statistically 20% of men cheat, for women it’s 13%.

It goes on, always will go on, for whatever reason and for every 5 ladies that are going “ oh that’s terrible, shocking” blah blah then one of yer hubbies is getting it somewhere else and maybe with one of the 1 in 7 ladies that likes it on the side too.

Nobody knows what it’s like in an individual’s relationship, it’s not black and white. Like most things it’s easy to judge.

Too many sanctimonious people in here with views so far up their own ass.

Remember ladies, 1 in 7 of you are at it, and men 1 in 5 of you are at it , it goes on, it always will, and for every one of them it’s their choice.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wow what a thread !

I'm happy to admit I'm married and I'm cheating on my wife. It's the same old story of great life together, more like friends than lovers etc.

I so dearly wish my wife would be on her, be great to know she has the same needs / wants - but sadly that's not going to happen.

Even though I have a great lifestyle and all the things we could need - I find myself envious of those couples who are about to go into this together - I would love to have that kind of relationship, I really would.

I'm always upfront to anyone I chat too, and respectful of their choice. I don't judge them, so please don't judge me "

same here, well put sir

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *layPrincessDaddyBearCouple
over a year ago

Bracknell

So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urygent1Man
over a year ago

North West

Wife and I separated some time back and now together again but I'm on this site and she doesn't know. I'm open as its in my profile.

If I found her on here I'd be happy as maybe we could play as a couple.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes


"Statistically 20% of men cheat, for women it’s 13%.

It goes on, always will go on, for whatever reason and for every 5 ladies that are going “ oh that’s terrible, shocking” blah blah then one of yer hubbies is getting it somewhere else and maybe with one of the 1 in 7 ladies that likes it on the side too.

Nobody knows what it’s like in an individual’s relationship, it’s not black and white. Like most things it’s easy to judge.

Too many sanctimonious people in here with views so far up their own ass.

Remember ladies, 1 in 7 of you are at it, and men 1 in 5 of you are at it , it goes on, it always will, and for every one of them it’s their choice.

"

Very nicely said.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Simple truths about married and "cheating"

1) There are both on here - probably more guys just simply because of relative numbers.

2) Married women are more accepted than guys because there are simply fewer females. Very few would actually turn down an opportunity to meet a married woman if it presented itself - just the way it is and always has been - despite what is said in forums.

3) Guys will always get a tougher time - end of

4) Women tend not to post their status in the forums - guys seem to have an need for acceptance and exoneration for their actions.

5) People need to judge other to make them feel better about themselves and may their actions.

6) Just because they say on their profile playing with partners knowledge doesn't make it so. Does anyone check?

7) Nobody else's business other than the parties involved.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s on my profile discretion is needed I also never lie and I wild never need to explain to anyone why I do what I do that’s my business and I enjoy what I do and in my

Eyes all that matters and fun is to be had when around me

Not only males that do it I can see all views and if my husband was on here I may be even happier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X"

Yes we have spoken, but I'm not about to divulge that conversation on here.

I should also point out , alot ladies cheating too, so please don't assume it's just the guys , because that's far from reality

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By *ogerroger69Man
over a year ago

West Yorks

It’s just sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Simple truths about married and "cheating"

1) There are both on here - probably more guys just simply because of relative numbers.

2) Married women are more accepted than guys because there are simply fewer females. Very few would actually turn down an opportunity to meet a married woman if it presented itself - just the way it is and always has been - despite what is said in forums.

3) Guys will always get a tougher time - end of

4) Women tend not to post their status in the forums - guys seem to have an need for acceptance and exoneration for their actions.

5) People need to judge other to make them feel better about themselves and may their actions.

6) Just because they say on their profile playing with partners knowledge doesn't make it so. Does anyone check?

7) Nobody else's business other than the parties involved.

"

All very good points my friend

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agrydMan
over a year ago

where


"I’m a married guy and cheating on here. Having a sexless marriage isn’t fun at all and. And I’ve found playing on here a lot easier and than having an affair where feelings come into play etc. "

Total agree. Sexless marriage is no fun. At least its not an affair and there's no feelings. Sure lots still love their wives i know i do

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By *layPrincessDaddyBearCouple
over a year ago

Bracknell


"So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X

Yes we have spoken, but I'm not about to divulge that conversation on here.

I should also point out , alot ladies cheating too, so please don't assume it's just the guys , because that's far from reality "

I didn’t assume anything, there were just only men answering the questions so thought I’d ask, and I only did ask as for some women sex is more than physical so was wondering if a conversation had been had about why it was happening that’s all. I was one of those s women and my personal resin was because he didt get me, listen or understand anything eventually I just stopped told him to do what ever he wanted so he did, I left and now have the best sex of my life, even with a long term medical condition. I just wanted to hear how it was from the other side of the story xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Simple because I love my family and kids. But also like a bit of fun every now and again

you can still have time with kids and move on you know, rather that living a lie, i have done, its possable, better than being in a marrage you dont want to be in, either that or put up with what you have "

I think it’s different for the father in a marriage break up… regarding time with kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have two reasons for not knowingly meeting attached people where there partner doesn’t know.

1. I’m a single person and if it was discovered then the drama being laid at my door is something that would make me feel unsafe.

2. I’ve been on the receiving end of a cheating partner. It really hurt and cause significant upset to the children. I wouldn’t want to be contributory to anyone experiencing that."

Same, and that’s coming from someone who has previously been in a sexless relationship for 8 years. I never cheated, cheating is so so damaging to the partner and I loved him so would never do that to him. I just left. It was hard, would have been easier to just cheat believe me. Cheating is really shitty IMO

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By * older menCouple (MM)
over a year ago

North Shields

Do Married Women not cheat we certainly have met a few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X

Yes we have spoken, but I'm not about to divulge that conversation on here.

I should also point out , alot ladies cheating too, so please don't assume it's just the guys , because that's far from reality

I didn’t assume anything, there were just only men answering the questions so thought I’d ask, and I only did ask as for some women sex is more than physical so was wondering if a conversation had been had about why it was happening that’s all. I was one of those s women and my personal resin was because he didt get me, listen or understand anything eventually I just stopped told him to do what ever he wanted so he did, I left and now have the best sex of my life, even with a long term medical condition. I just wanted to hear how it was from the other side of the story xxx"

Yeah I totally get that. I think you'd be surprised that for guys it's not just the act of sex either , certainly not for me. So being on here is not about getting my leg over , it more than that. Like I posted on my profile, I'm looking for FWB to explore more with, not a quickie when the time suits us.

PS sorry to hear you have medical condition, but glad you able to live a great sexual lifestyle - hugs

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By *ang average kinkMan
over a year ago

Farnborough

Yes I'm married and no she doesn't know.

Never strayed and thought long and hard before I did.

Yes we have chatted but there are things I want to try that she is completely anti so joined fab and fab guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do Married Women not cheat we certainly have met a few "

They do, but like another said , I think it's more accepted.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I have never understood the don't judge plea.

We all judge others and apply our own moral codes.

Some may prefer to not meet barebackers.

It does not make them sanctimonious, it just means they apply their own standards.

If a post on cheating is put up don't be shocked that some people have different points of view to your own.

If you want a bubble of opinion then stay on social media where you will only find information and opinions that match your own.

If you are upset that you cheat and some people would not approve well that's just tough.

Everyone judges and applies there own standards and rules.

Extreme examples I could use to demonstrate this as I am sure I could find cheaters who have moral limits on who they would meet.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Do Married Women not cheat we certainly have met a few

They do, but like another said , I think it's more accepted. "

Not by the same people.

We would approach married women and men in the same manner.

It that married women appeal to some (mostly men), married men tend to not appeal as much to the women they want to meet..

So it's not the same people making different judgements, it's different people coming to different conclusions.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

THis is a topic that pops up every now and again and I am wondering why it should be anybody's business to challenge and ask questions when really each person has to make their own decisions, based on their own set of values,morals and responsibility.

I choose not to knowingly meet attached people because I do not want the risk of upsetting anybody but at the end of the day, it is everybody's personal business and if I were attached and on here I would not see the point in answering challenging questions relating to my status.

What is the point?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I wouldn't knowingly meet a cheat and I think if you do and it gets found out, you have to take some of the fall out/responsibility.

Years ago I was seeing someone, not on here, and I got a call from his live in partner and mother of his children. He'd told me he was single, it caused her so much pain and I didn't even know he was playing away.

We kept in touch and he was such a liar, trying to manipulate us both, but ended up alone.she had found my number and texts on his phone, so people do get careless, I've seen loads of threads where women have had calls from angry wives etc.

I have on my profile that I'm not interested in meeting anyone here behind a partners back and it really annoys me when I still get winks /messages from them.

Also as half a couple if hate it done to me, so when there are genuine single men, why would I pick an unavailable one.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Our view is we wouldn't meet any as if they don't have any respect for their own partner then they are hardly going to have any for randomers they hope to meet on here.

I know some could be in a difficult situation, like a sexless marriage for example and that unfortunate, but it is what it is. What they need to decide is what's more important, their family life or getting their willy/fanny wet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes think the term sexless marriage just means you've gone off your wife and you wanna fuck something else

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Also, just think how many use the "sexless marriage" excuse or lie about it just for it to be "ok' by others. If they're on here and married then they are totally capable of lying.

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We won't knowingly meet anyone who is cheating. We have met some who have consent thats different but someone is hiding it is a no.

We dont need the drama on our doorstep if they get found out! Plus I dont want to the reason kids live in broken homes, someone gets divorced, etc.

Way I see it is if you're unhappy LEAVE!! Its much less stress in the long run.

I've had this conversation with a work colleague. Who is unhappy and in a sexless relationship. But he says he doesn't want to be alone... got to be better than being miserable (he is btw).

For us we dont want the upset. Pure and simple and like a previous couple said it doesn't fit with our ethical non monogamy.

Btw we don't meet attached women either!! We can't be 100% certain it won't happen but we are open and as honest as we can be.

Weve noticed recently just male halves of a couple wanting to meet. No thanks!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also, just think how many use the "sexless marriage" excuse or lie about it just for it to be "ok' by others. If they're on here and married then they are totally capable of lying."

It’s a pretty poor excuse though as a sexless marriage is still not an excuse to cheat. I do think it’s used a lot as the cheaters go to

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Also, just think how many use the "sexless marriage" excuse or lie about it just for it to be "ok' by others. If they're on here and married then they are totally capable of lying."

Yep, the bloke I spoke about above, when his partner rang me, she confirmed they have regular sex and he'd done it before.

So I appreciate some are in sex less relationships, but some do it cos they can also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it is sexless then just visit an escort....this site is about connecting with people,not a guaranteed hookup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care if you're married or not. I don't care if you have a great reason for "cheating". You live your life and I'll live mine.

I don't particularly love people who give "cheaters" a hard time, but whatever.

Also, if a disgruntled partner turns up at my house looking for a slap, so be it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Also, just think how many use the "sexless marriage" excuse or lie about it just for it to be "ok' by others. If they're on here and married then they are totally capable of lying."

There are many reasons why people do it - but again that is down to the individuals (including these they meet) and for them to decide if they are comfortable with that also any consequences, nobody else. On the matter I keep my thoughts to myself - but what I don't do is keep quiet on the dual/flexible standards people have on the subject when it suits.

What ever peoples views, they should be constant - if you go to clubs there is a chance you'll meet with an attached solo same as you may meet from here - you have made a conscious decision and risk and not bleat in the forums I didn't know so that's ok - accept you made a conscious decision and accept it.

Lets be honest in the swinging world banging on about cheating is simply a way of justifying to yourself you were not at fault in your view

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"We won't knowingly meet anyone who is cheating. We have met some who have consent thats different but someone is hiding it is a no.

We dont need the drama on our doorstep if they get found out! Plus I dont want to the reason kids live in broken homes, someone gets divorced, etc.

Way I see it is if you're unhappy LEAVE!! Its much less stress in the long run.

I've had this conversation with a work colleague. Who is unhappy and in a sexless relationship. But he says he doesn't want to be alone... got to be better than being miserable (he is btw).

For us we dont want the upset. Pure and simple and like a previous couple said it doesn't fit with our ethical non monogamy.

Btw we don't meet attached women either!! We can't be 100% certain it won't happen but we are open and as honest as we can be.

Weve noticed recently just male halves of a couple wanting to meet. No thanks!

"

Exactly, if they're that unhappy about it then either grow up and say something or just live with it.

Why potentially ruin someone else's life (that they apparently care for!) or their own.

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

"

I’ve met married men and still do! As long as both parties are happy, it doesn’t matter.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"If it is sexless then just visit an escort....this site is about connecting with people,not a guaranteed hookup "

Maybe you should concentrate on your own journey rather than telling people what they should do on theirs.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lyreelMan
over a year ago

King's lynn


"I don't care if you're married or not. I don't care if you have a great reason for "cheating". You live your life and I'll live mine.

I don't particularly love people who give "cheaters" a hard time, but whatever.

Also, if a disgruntled partner turns up at my house looking for a slap, so be it. "

Haha, well said, so many plonkers on here could do with changing to your well balanced view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it is sexless then just visit an escort....this site is about connecting with people,not a guaranteed hookup

Maybe you should concentrate on your own journey rather than telling people what they should do on theirs. "

So should you....I have offered an opinion on a thread....same as you have

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By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Not worried if the guy is married actually it's a bonus he's got to be discreet.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton


"So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X"

Ok it’s not that I don’t go down on her I do she has her orgasms then she turns over goes to sleep no stimulating me or making me orgasm

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X

Ok it’s not that I don’t go down on her I do she has her orgasms then she turns over goes to sleep no stimulating me or making me orgasm"

Op I've seen you point out about your marriage on many threads

Have you asked her permission to meet discreetly or told her you can't do without sex in your life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got no interest in meeting anyone that's cheating, man or woman.

What people do is up to then but I can choose to not be part of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it is sexless then just visit an escort....this site is about connecting with people,not a guaranteed hookup "

Believe it or not , not every person who cheats is looking for a leg over. I for one am looking for all the same things as single unattached folks are.

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ..."

This

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Not worried if the guy is married actually it's a bonus he's got to be discreet. "

It is interesting seeing this have intimated this in other threads. In the swinging world once upon a time married/attached people were actually chosen over singles because they were discrete and for health reasons as well as my other.

This is simply experience of times gone by.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your attitude to this changes drastically if you have ever been devastated by cheating yourself.

I may have been more blasé had it not happened to me.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This "

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aznlouCouple
over a year ago

co durham

Private meets we wouldn’t willingly meet married people (men/women) without their partners consent. Though we are not stupid to think that while we have been at clubs we haven’t played with married people playing away. It’s just that trace I suppose of an angry person turning up on our door. If it was one of us doing it to each other I’d be fuming, open & honest is always best

L

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone lies about being married what else are they willing to lie about to keep that secret?

Ok if you just a looking a quick shag but some of us are here looking for more which is when the deceit causes issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it is sexless then just visit an escort....this site is about connecting with people,not a guaranteed hookup

Believe it or not , not every person who cheats is looking for a leg over. I for one am looking for all the same things as single unattached folks are."

Ok...but why can't your wife give you that? I know it sounds critical but im genuinely interested

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks. "

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"So can I ask, you men that are in relationships or married, have you spoken to your partner/ wife’s about not being able to have sex or why it’s happening, I ask this as someone who was married cheated on and lied to, and if he had asked me Why I would of told him the truth ? X

Ok it’s not that I don’t go down on her I do she has her orgasms then she turns over goes to sleep no stimulating me or making me orgasm"

Cheating on her isn't really the answer though is it? Sounds like you need to talk.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s really easy to judge it, but actually it just isn’t that simple.

It’s not something I’m looking to do, but sometimes a bit of understanding is needed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uncpl187Couple
over a year ago

Ramsgate

Wife don't mind me cheating with a guy but not with another woman

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"I think it’s really easy to judge it, but actually it just isn’t that simple.

It’s not something I’m looking to do, but sometimes a bit of understanding is needed. "

There are obviously players that aside, but it is never black and white you can do due diligence to determine if you are comfortable with the situation or you can just accept their explanation if you feelit seems to make sense but there is always a margin of error risk and that has to be accepted. That is down to the individuals and not for others. This ties in with couple of other threads boundaries and trust. You take the steps that you need to satisfy your acceptance and ultimately some responsibility

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By *irk1979Man
over a year ago

lincs

This will always be a question for people to debate. Its all down to personal choice. Some may not want to know and some may feel it isnt any of there business. I respect those who choose not to play with married people and those who deem it to be none of thier business.

I am a married man. I find it very difficult to get meets on here as i am very open and honest with people i speak to. My wife is a swinger and also on here. I find women can be put off with the fact im married..... or maybe im just an ugly fucker

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences "

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

[Removed by poster at 24/08/21 14:00:25]

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped. "

Think the point has been missed. The law has nothing to do with it and irrelevant is simply sticking to one's convictions if you vehemently opposed to not meeting attached individuals you wouldn't put yourself in a situation where it could happen or you do all the background checks etc so you are in no doubt about their status. Yes it is impractical to say the least

So that's the point about these threads they are full of dual standards even implicit and the point of the post that people like to judge cos it makes them feel superior even though, their own actions may have been questionable by their own standards ever wittingly or unwittingly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it’s really easy to judge it, but actually it just isn’t that simple.

It’s not something I’m looking to do, but sometimes a bit of understanding is needed. "

Thank you beautiful x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it is sexless then just visit an escort....this site is about connecting with people,not a guaranteed hookup

Believe it or not , not every person who cheats is looking for a leg over. I for one am looking for all the same things as single unattached folks are.

Ok...but why can't your wife give you that? I know it sounds critical but im genuinely interested "

Ok , going round in circles , I think I've already covered this. Point is , it's not that simple. Believe me if it was , I would not be here

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped.

Think the point has been missed. The law has nothing to do with it and irrelevant is simply sticking to one's convictions if you vehemently opposed to not meeting attached individuals you wouldn't put yourself in a situation where it could happen or you do all the background checks etc so you are in no doubt about their status. Yes it is impractical to say the least

So that's the point about these threads they are full of dual standards even implicit and the point of the post that people like to judge cos it makes them feel superior even though, their own actions may have been questionable by their own standards ever wittingly or unwittingly. "

I'm also opposed to meeting serial killers but by that logic their victims are duplicitous for putting themselves at risk.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

We just want a shag

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"We just want a shag "

Which is fine, my response was to the second point that the OP mentioned about it not bothering them but should it.

I just listed the reasons why it would bother us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped.

Think the point has been missed. The law has nothing to do with it and irrelevant is simply sticking to one's convictions if you vehemently opposed to not meeting attached individuals you wouldn't put yourself in a situation where it could happen or you do all the background checks etc so you are in no doubt about their status. Yes it is impractical to say the least

So that's the point about these threads they are full of dual standards even implicit and the point of the post that people like to judge cos it makes them feel superior even though, their own actions may have been questionable by their own standards ever wittingly or unwittingly.

I'm also opposed to meeting serial killers but by that logic their victims are duplicitous for putting themselves at risk.

"

You may meet a serial killer in a club or the swinging scene but would that cause you to not go to clubs or be part of the swinging scene.

You may even shag them.

But post was about cheating - people judging on standards they don't hold themselves simples.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped.

Think the point has been missed. The law has nothing to do with it and irrelevant is simply sticking to one's convictions if you vehemently opposed to not meeting attached individuals you wouldn't put yourself in a situation where it could happen or you do all the background checks etc so you are in no doubt about their status. Yes it is impractical to say the least

So that's the point about these threads they are full of dual standards even implicit and the point of the post that people like to judge cos it makes them feel superior even though, their own actions may have been questionable by their own standards ever wittingly or unwittingly.

I'm also opposed to meeting serial killers but by that logic their victims are duplicitous for putting themselves at risk.

You may meet a serial killer in a club or the swinging scene but would that cause you to not go to clubs or be part of the swinging scene.

You may even shag them.

But post was about cheating - people judging on standards they don't hold themselves simples.

"

But you can still hold standards and attend places where people are not background checked.

They hold the standards as best they can, but you seem to have a bar so high that no one can have any standards or preferences, as no one can hold them to 100% guaranteed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *J StathamMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Guilty as charged and its on my profile.

Not married though, just in a relationship.

Most relationships are not perfect and i personally wouldnt want to leave mine because i want more sex than i get at home.

It would feel like im throwing away 90% perfection just because 10% (sex) isnt there.

Id like to keep my 90% and try deal with the 10% in the way that i choose

I feel if i was to mention it to her she would be upset and try her best to keep up with my sex drive, which would last a month or 2 and then after that she would feel that she isnt good enough. When she is good enough in most aspects minus one and i wouldnt want her feeling that way either.

I guess its a rock and a hard place for me but i just thought i'd share a few of my thoughts

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull


"Guilty as charged and its on my profile.

Not married though, just in a relationship.

Most relationships are not perfect and i personally wouldnt want to leave mine because i want more sex than i get at home.

It would feel like im throwing away 90% perfection just because 10% (sex) isnt there.

Id like to keep my 90% and try deal with the 10% in the way that i choose

I feel if i was to mention it to her she would be upset and try her best to keep up with my sex drive, which would last a month or 2 and then after that she would feel that she isnt good enough. When she is good enough in most aspects minus one and i wouldnt want her feeling that way either.

I guess its a rock and a hard place for me but i just thought i'd share a few of my thoughts

"

So your really prepared to lose the 90 percent perfection for the 10 percent. And you will lose it....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *J StathamMan
over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 24/08/21 15:45:54]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *J StathamMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I hope i dont lose it

Also im NOT proud of it

But it seems to be what works for me currently

It makes me happy and she is happy (aa ignorance is bliss as they say

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped.

Think the point has been missed. The law has nothing to do with it and irrelevant is simply sticking to one's convictions if you vehemently opposed to not meeting attached individuals you wouldn't put yourself in a situation where it could happen or you do all the background checks etc so you are in no doubt about their status. Yes it is impractical to say the least

So that's the point about these threads they are full of dual standards even implicit and the point of the post that people like to judge cos it makes them feel superior even though, their own actions may have been questionable by their own standards ever wittingly or unwittingly.

I'm also opposed to meeting serial killers but by that logic their victims are duplicitous for putting themselves at risk.

You may meet a serial killer in a club or the swinging scene but would that cause you to not go to clubs or be part of the swinging scene.

You may even shag them.

But post was about cheating - people judging on standards they don't hold themselves simples.

But you can still hold standards and attend places where people are not background checked.

They hold the standards as best they can, but you seem to have a bar so high that no one can have any standards or preferences, as no one can hold them to 100% guaranteed. "

It is interesting and very defensive post and completely wrong. Simply i cannot hold myself in higher esteem and judgement over others for doing something (cheating) for what ever reasons because whether I agree or not, I know nothing about the history or the circumstances or the have the right judge others.

All I have simply done is question if people have the right to judge others on on standards they don't hold themselves. If people take exception to this is simply wonder why.

The point is if you knowingly or unknowingly, whatever the circumstances, have been party to cheating, does that give you the right to take the moral high ground with others for cheating.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I often stop and think if the risk is worth my activity on here.

I state that I'm married on my profile, but because of the age I am, it's so awfully quiet on here for me.

After years on here, I think it's about time to cut and run.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

This

You could say the same about anything, you may have been with someone committed of a sex crime without knowing, it does not mean you would rather not.

Its an extreme example but makes the point that there is a difference between having a moral set of standards and vetting everyone to beyond reasonable doubt around those standards.

If people get caught out due to anothers non disclosure it does not invalidate their preferences.

If you are a vegan and accidentally or duplicitously are given a meat sausage and eat it without knowing, it does not mean you have double standards and can't then adhere to vegan standards in future.

I take a risk every time I order a dessert, I try to avoid nuts but if I eat one and die, by this argument it was my own fault for not performing intrusive checks.

Unfortunately the argument is flawed, this is the point - yes it is your fault. You didn't do intrusive checks for what ever reason and by going out tand ordering desert without, you are taking the risk "that is your choice and risk" no one elses and it is on you. If you don't want the risk then don't put yourself in that situation simples.

It's the oldest cop-out " Wasn't me gov I didn't know"

"Ingnorance is no defence"

So as if you are in the swinging world there are risks like anything in life you have to made the conscious decision to accept the risks - you cam mitigate your risk but in the end you have to share responsibility for any consequences

I think you will find the law disagrees.

If you make reasonable checks that is what most reasonable people would expect.

It would not be expected that is go to the source of all the materials used, track their movements and handling. Then monitor the kitchen preparations and service.

Tracking from source to table would be am unreasonable expectation.

Similarly hiring a PI to pre investigate all swingers going to a venue would be unreasonable and probably not legal.

If someone it being fraudulent, then it does not make those conned invalid in not wanting to be duped.

Think the point has been missed. The law has nothing to do with it and irrelevant is simply sticking to one's convictions if you vehemently opposed to not meeting attached individuals you wouldn't put yourself in a situation where it could happen or you do all the background checks etc so you are in no doubt about their status. Yes it is impractical to say the least

So that's the point about these threads they are full of dual standards even implicit and the point of the post that people like to judge cos it makes them feel superior even though, their own actions may have been questionable by their own standards ever wittingly or unwittingly.

I'm also opposed to meeting serial killers but by that logic their victims are duplicitous for putting themselves at risk.

You may meet a serial killer in a club or the swinging scene but would that cause you to not go to clubs or be part of the swinging scene.

You may even shag them.

But post was about cheating - people judging on standards they don't hold themselves simples.

But you can still hold standards and attend places where people are not background checked.

They hold the standards as best they can, but you seem to have a bar so high that no one can have any standards or preferences, as no one can hold them to 100% guaranteed.

It is interesting and very defensive post and completely wrong. Simply i cannot hold myself in higher esteem and judgement over others for doing something (cheating) for what ever reasons because whether I agree or not, I know nothing about the history or the circumstances or the have the right judge others.

All I have simply done is question if people have the right to judge others on on standards they don't hold themselves. If people take exception to this is simply wonder why.

The point is if you knowingly or unknowingly, whatever the circumstances, have been party to cheating, does that give you the right to take the moral high ground with others for cheating.

"

Its not defensive its purely pointing out the bar you have set for anyone else to have standards in your eyes.

To be consistent that bar has to hold for any standard.

So if you have a standard regarding anything, then in your eyes you can't claim to hold that standard if you don't have gold standard checks and guarantees.

My view is different in that I believe you can make choices and have moral standards even if you don't have perfect knowledge.

The vegan point holds you can hold vegan morality and it is not double standards if by accident or by someone else being fraudulent you breach those standards.

Equally my view is you can hold the same bar on standards for swinging.

You can prefer not to meet cheaters and not have perfect knowledge.

The bar of having perfect knowledge is too high for anyone to hold.

So I would disagree with your premise that swingers are holding double standards. I just think your bar is set too high for anyone to meet.

I don't see debating something as defensive, I just see it as a debate.

We could be talking about the standards for growing carrots as far as I am concerned and we would still have a difference of opinion on how high that bar has to be.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking through the comments I haven't seen any yet where the cheater is looking at the situation from their partners perspective.

Surely 9/10 partners would be distraught to find out their other half is living a secret life, that'll cause damage to their relationship/family. Instead all I'm seeing is "I'd love her on here".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside


"Looking through the comments I haven't seen any yet where the cheater is looking at the situation from their partners perspective.

Surely 9/10 partners would be distraught to find out their other half is living a secret life, that'll cause damage to their relationship/family. Instead all I'm seeing is "I'd love her on here"."
you hit the nail on the head

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What often surprises me in threads like this is the number of relatively young people who are in sexless relationships. Given that most of us can expect to make 80 odd isn't the prospect of 40 odd years without sex in your primary relationship a daunting one? Or do you hope that things will change?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orrow my wifeCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Some due to illness have no choice.

Woukd not ever separate us though

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why do men get all the bad press there are lots of married women on here and playing away ,they don't same to get the same level of critisum

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"why do men get all the bad press there are lots of married women on here and playing away ,they don't same to get the same level of critisum

"

We dont discriminate male/female/however you wish to identify if you're cheating we ain't meeting

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

"

Everyone, how about we bring this back to the topic that OP originally posted, rather than bashing those that choose to cheat, or those that choose yo play with those cheats.

At the end of the day we all have our opinions and preferences, and that's what makes us all unique

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ..."

I agree, especially in clubs. People make a big stance on not meeting married people but will then go to a club and fuck people without any clue of their personal circumstances, and it funnily doesn't matter when in a club.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because variety is the spice of life!

I love my family and still am in love, just enjoy experiencing others.

Most are against but some don't judge and see the act as the act.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married - not cheating.

In an open marriage where we are both poly.

The Mrs was on here and as she is trans she did get a fair bit of interest.

Fair to say despite today's lovely messagee my contacts from/to others have been very thin on the ground.

Not sure why, could be a myriad of reasons, none of which are probably my business.??

Best advice I got was be polite and carry on searching ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ornyandachingCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Cheating is in our opinion one of the cruelest things you can do to your partner. The idea of a relationship should be based on friendship, trust and a little lust

However everyone is different but for me I would put the mans balls in a vice if I discovered them cheating on me, swinging is fun and mutually agreed, cheating well …

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got no interest in meeting anyone that's cheating, man or woman.

What people do is up to then but I can choose to not be part of it. "

As above and we also have on our profile that if you are cheating on your partner please stay away..

We would never want to be the cause of a partners pain or distress when they realise that their other half is a cheat..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"Looking through the comments I haven't seen any yet where the cheater is looking at the situation from their partners perspective.

Surely 9/10 partners would be distraught to find out their other half is living a secret life, that'll cause damage to their relationship/family. Instead all I'm seeing is "I'd love her on here"."

It does seem that way. The majority see it as its only about them forgetting there's more than one person in a relationship.

I understand they need to be happy, but going behind thier partners back to do so is just selfish and not the answer.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *cutebum9Couple
over a year ago

wallsend

So your in a club surrounded by a group of guys how many stop and ask are you single or married. Not many I bet. Just saying and adding to the debate

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

"

Yes I'm married it's stated in my profile rightly or wrongly I don't see it as cheating that would be having a emotional and sexual relationship with 1 other person.

We all have our reasons my wife is amazing but has zero sex drive I'm serious when I say maybe once a year...

And I love to please but don't want to break up... judge me if you like

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Cheating partners in whatever form are not my issue, I ll say this upfront.

The only thing I will say as a definition of cheating:

The "cheater" does not get to define what constitutes cheating e.g. whether it has to be penetrative sex or "a cigar just being a cigar" or whether as it does not involve emotions, it does not constitute cheating.

The "cheatee" defines if what the partner does constitutes cheating. That really is all there is to it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ewismixedbbcMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"Has it ever crossed any of these peoples minds that their wives might not want sex because they have let themselves go and the husbands attitude may be wrong. Its the easy way out to just find sex somewhere else and it often comes accross that these guys want free sex on here..rather than paying a prostitute

Not let myself go. Wife not interested maybe health issue stopping her and would you pay a prostitute u don’t know what she may have and it’s illegal

Just like to make 2 points.

Paying a prostitute is not illegal.

How well would you know a swinger, they could be barebacking random every night wereas a prostitute might be safe sex only.

You see we all judge and make assumptions about others. "
you have a valid point my friend haha I mean for me bare back is rough anyhow each to their own

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Cheating partners in whatever form are not my issue, I ll say this upfront.

The only thing I will say as a definition of cheating:

The "cheater" does not get to define what constitutes cheating e.g. whether it has to be penetrative sex or "a cigar just being a cigar" or whether as it does not involve emotions, it does not constitute cheating.

The "cheatee" defines if what the partner does constitutes cheating. That really is all there is to it. "

Mean to add that this is, in so many words, the definition that Relate work with. They do not judge any relationship but in order to get a framework to work with a couple, they would ask the person that has been cheated on whether or not they felt cheated. THEY are the ones to determine the acceptance or non-acceptance of the status.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

Yes I'm married it's stated in my profile rightly or wrongly I don't see it as cheating that would be having a emotional and sexual relationship with 1 other person.

We all have our reasons my wife is amazing but has zero sex drive I'm serious when I say maybe once a year...

And I love to please but don't want to break up... judge me if you like "

It 100% is cheating no matter how you look at it, but if your happy yourself and aren't bothered about others then that's all what counts I guess.......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ighugs69Man
over a year ago

Port Talbot

Had 4 affairs with married women and chatted to others who were interested in having one but we didn't get that far.

Never managed to get a meet through FAB. But if my OH had a profile I'd be surprised since we've only had sex together a handful of times in the last 5 years.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Had 4 affairs with married women and chatted to others who were interested in having one but we didn't get that far.

Never managed to get a meet through FAB. But if my OH had a profile I'd be surprised since we've only had sex together a handful of times in the last 5 years."

Reminds me of a friend who thought her partner was gay as they had only had sex a handful of times over a prolonged period. He was not gay, he just lived another life on a swing site. And another friend believe his wife was depressed (which admittedly she was) and therefore not sleeping with him. It all came out in the wash that she was seeing multiple other people.

It is not always obvious.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"the chances are most have been with married already with out even knowing ...

I agree, especially in clubs. People make a big stance on not meeting married people but will then go to a club and fuck people without any clue of their personal circumstances, and it funnily doesn't matter when in a club.

"

I think this assumes a little bit about how people play in clubs.

We don't tend to go for the open season approach, we tend to talk to the people we intend to play with.

I won't give specifics but from our fun at the weekend before we played we knew.

Prior swinging experience

Names

Ages

Occupations

Location

Relationship status

Funny stories from previous encounters

And some other things.

Now yes they can lie but everyone can lie, about everything, so you can't account for that.

But not all club action is based on just seeing a cock and sucking it.

Most of our meets follow this pattern of social talk prior to play, Im sure others do what is right for them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

Gosh so many judgements on here. If society was to judge swingers we would all be classed as in the wrong for being here.

On a site you would think people were more open minded and you get people suggesting others are wrong. We are all individuals so let's have choice and our own resulting lives, whether you think its right or wrong.

The site itself amazes me. I'm a woman who openly says she's is married and playing with no implied permission. In over 10 years of here not even a handful of objections to that. But daily several messages say, I love that you are married. I find it sexy. Yet if I was a man.... totally different responses.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gosh so many judgements on here. If society was to judge swingers we would all be classed as in the wrong for being here.

On a site you would think people were more open minded and you get people suggesting others are wrong. We are all individuals so let's have choice and our own resulting lives, whether you think its right or wrong.

The site itself amazes me. I'm a woman who openly says she's is married and playing with no implied permission. In over 10 years of here not even a handful of objections to that. But daily several messages say, I love that you are married. I find it sexy. Yet if I was a man.... totally different responses."

Absolutely agree. So many double standards on here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gosh so many judgements on here. If society was to judge swingers we would all be classed as in the wrong for being here.

On a site you would think people were more open minded and you get people suggesting others are wrong. We are all individuals so let's have choice and our own resulting lives, whether you think its right or wrong.

The site itself amazes me. I'm a woman who openly says she's is married and playing with no implied permission. In over 10 years of here not even a handful of objections to that. But daily several messages say, I love that you are married. I find it sexy. Yet if I was a man.... totally different responses."

Here Here !!!

N xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unandfriendship4uMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Op. You seem to be focused on they guys who do this.

Fab swingers is consenting adults.

Some guys play away for the buz. Nothing to do with not loving thier partner.

Also if one does cheat and stays with his wife. Why is it an issue.

Do guys have to weR a tag saying married and cheating.

Lifes to short.

I understand no couple or woman want any drammas from partners wifes.

As for if they wifes was on fabe the cheaters would be in one happy place. Sharing fantasy fun and friendship with genuine swibgers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unandfriendship4uMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Op. You seem to be focused on they guys who do this.

Fab swingers is consenting adults.

Some guys play away for the buz. Nothing to do with not loving thier partner.

Also if one does cheat and stays with his wife. Why is it an issue.

Do guys have to weR a tag saying married and cheating.

Lifes to short.

I understand no couple or woman want any drammas from partners wifes.

As for if they wifes was on fabe the cheaters would be in one happy place. Sharing fantasy fun and friendship with genuine swingers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Op. You seem to be focused on they guys who do this.

Fab swingers is consenting adults.

Some guys play away for the buz. Nothing to do with not loving thier partner.

Also if one does cheat and stays with his wife. Why is it an issue.

Do guys have to weR a tag saying married and cheating.

Lifes to short.

I understand no couple or woman want any drammas from partners wifes.

As for if they wifes was on fabe the cheaters would be in one happy place. Sharing fantasy fun and friendship with genuine swingers."

An interesting perspective

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I was married and sort of cheating before my divorce. She told me I wouldn't get it from her so I might as well go elsewhere. She just didn't actually think I was going elsewhere.

If she had done that to me, I would probably have been quite relieved. Then we could bring it out on the open.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

If there married and cheating male or female… surly why not leave there partners… the marriage is obviously on its knees… save the hurt when the unsuspecting partner finds out

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *dventureSeeker23Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Gosh so many judgements on here. If society was to judge swingers we would all be classed as in the wrong for being here.

On a site you would think people were more open minded and you get people suggesting others are wrong. We are all individuals so let's have choice and our own resulting lives, whether you think its right or wrong.

The site itself amazes me. I'm a woman who openly says she's is married and playing with no implied permission. In over 10 years of here not even a handful of objections to that. But daily several messages say, I love that you are married. I find it sexy. Yet if I was a man.... totally different responses."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone couples shared wife sex video. Watch group sex video

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aceyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Oh what a tangled Web we weave when we practice to deceive

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

It’s all over my profile… don’t mind people judging me if they feel the need…. It’s up to them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?"

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice


"Oh what a tangled Web we weave when we practice to deceive "
so correct

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter."

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason"

Sure, I understand and respect that, I am only saying that works for me. I may miss out on some good people but that is my choice. If somebody cannot accommodate they are not for me with the main reason being about being attached.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter."
you can't accommodate according to your profile so does that mean you're cheating going by your logic?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason

Sure, I understand and respect that, I am only saying that works for me. I may miss out on some good people but that is my choice. If somebody cannot accommodate they are not for me with the main reason being about being attached. "

I get that is you choice, and you're certainly entitled to it. Just don't think it's a very good filter in my opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.you can't accommodate according to your profile so does that mean you're cheating going by your logic?"

I am not cheating and I dont think I ever would as I think it is just a break down of trust.

I have reasons why I do not accommodate which I wont share publicly.

I did say that yes, I do realise I will miss out on some really nice people who might not be attached but that is my choice. It is my filter in light of the fact there is not a better one as people.... unfortunately lie.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason

Sure, I understand and respect that, I am only saying that works for me. I may miss out on some good people but that is my choice. If somebody cannot accommodate they are not for me with the main reason being about being attached.

I get that is you choice, and you're certainly entitled to it. Just don't think it's a very good filter in my opinion."

I understand it might not be for you, honestly I do. But it has been a great filter for me for the past approximately 10 years.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason

Sure, I understand and respect that, I am only saying that works for me. I may miss out on some good people but that is my choice. If somebody cannot accommodate they are not for me with the main reason being about being attached. "

It is an interesting conundrum, the two get confused and become grey area, people get cautios because of experience. We can accommodate but we don't simples. People have to make informed decisions on their own merit, there is no right or wrong but that is what choice and preference is about. Cannot accommodate doesn't necessarily meanthere are secrets hidden

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"" we don't meet anyone who's married or in a relationship"

Meet someone "are you married or in a relationship?"

"Course not!"

Guys wife chaps the door.

How can you prove someone isn't in a relationship before fucking them?

You can ask questions but that isnot all. I rule out people who cannot accommodate as that is one relatively good filter.

Not a good filter at all in our opinion. There's a vast numbers of reasons why someone wouldn't accommodate, I mean just because they don't want people to know where they live is a great reason

Sure, I understand and respect that, I am only saying that works for me. I may miss out on some good people but that is my choice. If somebody cannot accommodate they are not for me with the main reason being about being attached.

It is an interesting conundrum, the two get confused and become grey area, people get cautios because of experience. We can accommodate but we don't simples. People have to make informed decisions on their own merit, there is no right or wrong but that is what choice and preference is about. Cannot accommodate doesn't necessarily meanthere are secrets hidden "

Of course it does not. I agree. And likewise it is still not a hundred percent guaranteed that somebody who can accommodate is not attached.

The way I see it is that I can do my due diligence and ensure I have done everything I can to avoid an attached person. My conscience, my way of doing things. Others think differently.

BTW I have said several times I genuinely do not judge attached people who swing. I could not care less. I just 1. do not want to be part of it and 2. I do object to the justifications that it does not constitute proper cheating as there is no emotion involved. Thats all really.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I don’t meet attached people. I don’t agree with cheating for any reasons and I do absolutely judge anyone that is cheating or meeting cheaters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading everyone's perspectives has been incredibly interesting. It's one of those situations where if it hasn't directly effected you then you only have a theory of some kind as to how you would act. It was exactly the same with me once I found out a woman I had been seeing regularly at a hotel did in fact have a partner. The honest truth is that I still would have seen her, but it would have been my decision and one that I personally was responsible for. It's when you're party to something that you are unaware of that causes a lot of issues. Honesty is always the best policy, and as much of the 'advice' that is given on here, if someone doesn't want to meet you because you are attached, then move on and look for someone else who doesn't object to your personal circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Simple because I love my family and kids. But also like a bit of fun every now and again

you can still have time with kids and move on you know, rather that living a lie, i have done, its possable, better than being in a marrage you dont want to be in, either that or put up with what you have

I think it’s different for the father in a marriage break up… regarding time with kids."

im speaking as the father, why do people assume that from a couple its always the wonam typing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating is in our opinion one of the cruelest things you can do to your partner. The idea of a relationship should be based on friendship, trust and a little lust

However everyone is different but for me I would put the mans balls in a vice if I discovered them cheating on me, swinging is fun and mutually agreed, cheating well … "

agree completely! Honesty, friendship lust and trust all needed. Been cheated on in the past and the hurt is horrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Married.

Sexless.

I have my reasons.

I don't expect sympathy.

People will either accept or run away.

"

????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Some due to illness have no choice.

Woukd not ever separate us though "

No choice about what?

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I've been cheated on. It's destroyed my trust in people, being lied to and finding out afterwards that everything was basically a lie really really hurt me. My ltr of 15yrs cheated on me, and the last guy I was seeing cheated on me too. Personally if you tell someone that you're only sleeping with them, and then go sleeping around with others it's a real kick in the gut, and then having to go and get STI screening because you have no idea what the people they're sleeping with could have, is horrendous and very embarrassing.

Not keen on cheating and lying.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Justifications are there to make people feel better about something they are essentially not 100% comfortable with themselves.

I am saying, they do not need to justify anything. everybody is responsible for their lives and actions. End of.

And judging people is really not helping anybody. Live and let live. But please only make it sound ok if your partner is genuinely ok with it. That is all I would be asking for.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You will no doubt have your reasons but who wants to admit they are married and cheating and why and how they would feel if their partners did the same on here?

We have met married men on here and it doesnt bother us but should it?

"

As a married swinging couple thats now divorced I can honestly say I, as a horny male have never cheated. We were lied to once or twice by people that were but after the play its too late.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Justifications are there to make people feel better about something they are essentially not 100% comfortable with themselves.

I am saying, they do not need to justify anything. everybody is responsible for their lives and actions. End of.

And judging people is really not helping anybody. Live and let live. But please only make it sound ok if your partner is genuinely ok with it. That is all I would be asking for. "

If their partner is ok then it’s not cheating I don’t think. It’s the ones where the partner has no idea that are the problem. That’s proper cheating.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Exactly - if there is an unsuspecting partner, then I am afraid there is no other word that would aptly describe the behaviour.

In essence, the partner who is betrayed, cheated on whatever, it is their judgment call to define whether this is within the parameters of their marriage agreement/understanding.

It is not the partner that is breaching the agreement but the one who is seeing other people.

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