FabSwingers.com forum: Successful negotiation tactics?

By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Successfully negotiating the next stage in the process to bring a social meet in a public forum onto the next level with either a single female or an FM couple has never been my strongest point.

I fail too often at this penultimate hurdle; sometimes there has been no chemistry; what tactics work for others to open the bedroom or hotel room door.

On other occasions, I didn't inspire enough confidence in the other party.

For several years I used to regularly meet a couple with whom I had a good rapport, but lost my face to face negotiation skills with strangers, whom I had only spoken to by phone or e- mail.

How have others managed to get over this hurdle?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I'm no expert but I'd certainly not consider it a negotiation. It's sex, not arguing over an agreeable level of liquidated damages in a contract.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tticus Finch 76Man
over a year ago

Northampton

Certainly isn't a negotiation. You're either on the same wavelength or you're not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Certainly isn't a negotiation. You're either on the same wavelength or you're not."

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It is not a negotiation but somebody has to make the first move and that is simple a case of when one of you is ready to simple ask and await a response.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I think I should’ve come down to a natural flow and if everybody agrees there you go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

To me it is a form of negotiation; set out stall in profile; a bit of toing and froing before a first meet and the specifics can be agreed: I would like to, but I don't; do you...; what do you not, etc.

Profiles are like a CV, but the issue is getting to the handshake, and agreeing the details, even informally.

After the first swap, further meets should be much easier, at least that's my experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've met them socially, wouldn't it be easy to tell them you enjoyed it and would quite like to see them again?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Don't now about profile being a defined CV because it is actually illegal to falsify a resumé. Consider in a lot of cases it is a work of fiction

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

What are some of the concessions you've made over the years jubal ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

After the first swap, further meets should be much easier, at least that's my experience.

Some people aren't looking for repeat meets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

"What are some of the concessions you've made over the years jubal ? "

Safe sex is a must, but in the past myself and former partner went bareback with a couple whom we met fairly regularly and began to trust. There were no problems, sti-wise, but the arrangement ended when myself and former split.

With the increasing prevalence of untreatable gonorrhoea, safe sex is an absolute must; negotiation-wise I find the problem seems to be getting past that initial meeting, which is frustrating.

A recent social meet, that I thought had potential, three weeks ago today, did not come to fruition.

Good chemistry, good rapoort, excellent spontaneous conversation, but frustratingly no further contact.Very disappointing, which is why I posted, to elicit other opinions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"What are some of the concessions you've made over the years jubal ?

With the increasing prevalence of untreatable gonorrhoea, safe sex is an absolute must; negotiation-wise I find the problem seems to be getting past that initial meeting, which is frustrating.

A recent social meet, that I thought had potential, three weeks ago today, did not come to fruition.

Good chemistry, good rapoort, excellent spontaneous conversation, but frustratingly no further contact.Very disappointing, which is why I posted, to elicit other opinions.

A successful social then.

You met and the other party decided they didn't want to take it further.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

That sums it up, but frustratingly it is impossible to go back and ask, why not?

In order to be better prepared, next time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"That sums it up, but frustratingly it is impossible to go back and ask, why not?

In order to be better prepared, next time."

I'm going to assume that answer is for me. Hit reply and quote.

Asking why won't get you an honest answer though, will it.

Most of the time it's simply lack of attraction but occasionally it's something like awful teeth/nasal hair/a dodgy comment/poor manners and unless someone is cruel, telling the truth often hurts.

Accept that it's not going further and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Negotiations and tactics have no place on fab OP.

Just be yourself and things will happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread