FabSwingers.com forum: How to convince the mrs that clubs aren't seedy

By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

My partner had only just got into the scene and her preference is very much a blindfold meet at the moment.

I've suggested visiting a club but she is very adamant she will never go as she's seen on TV they are seedy and not her idea of fun.

Naturally uve read reviews etc and seen comments to on how it's also good for socials for people and have tried to convince her it's not what she thinks and has seen but I'm getting nowhere.

Maybe she really doesn't want to go but wondered if any other couples have been in this situation

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

"My partner had only just got into the scene and her preference is very much a blindfold meet at the moment.

I've suggested visiting a club but she is very adamant she will never go as she's seen on TV they are seedy and not her idea of fun.

Naturally uve read reviews etc and seen comments to on how it's also good for socials for people and have tried to convince her it's not what she thinks and has seen but I'm getting nowhere.

Maybe she really doesn't want to go but wondered if any other couples have been in this situation"

I was going to state the obvious buddy, but you wouldn't listen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe suggest a night just to visit, no sex, no pressure just to look around get the feel of things, if she likes it go again and maybe arrange to meet with someone she's comfortable with.

Mrs

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

How about respecting her wishes and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about respecting her wishes and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do. "

Absolutely this.

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By *ickedwillyCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

I think when she sees the other ladies enjoying themselves she will feel more relaxed.

Best go and watch for your first couple of visits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just an opinion,

If she doesn’t want to attend, don’t really thing you should try win her round or convince her of otherwise, just enjoy what you both have and make the most of it, imagine how she would feel if she went and absolutely hated it, it’s not worth it

Like said just an opinion,

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Certainly not trying to make her and would never force her at all. As said above, just wondered if any other couples been in this situation.

My point was more to she sees them in a way that many people say isn't like that as in seedy.

Thanks for the feedback Boo

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

[Removed by poster at 17/08/21 08:40:53]

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We always said that we would never go to a club solely for that reason OP.

After numerous invites Mrs M finally went and was totally surprised.

It's now our only club.

Be careful in your choice if she does decide to give one a try as believe me, sadly there are some that will live up to that title.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We always said that we would never go to a club solely for that reason OP.

After numerous invites Mrs M finally went and was totally surprised.

It's now our only club.

Be careful in your choice if she does decide to give one a try as believe me, sadly there are some that will live up to that title.

I was just going to say something similar.

Your partner might have her impression confirmed op. Maybe in her eyes even the most select club would look seedy.

Sometimes it's just not possible to fulfil a fantasy because the person you want to join you just isn't interested.

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By *aveing funCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

She needs to make her own descion take her for alook round the staff at clubs are usually very nice

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By *e-funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Also, if she does go be careful what night you go along to.

The vibe from a couples only and single female night can be very different to when single males are allowed or even party nights.

I would strongly suggest for your first venture to a club you choose a couples only and single female night, they are a lot different to a single male night and maybe better for a club novice.

Hope you both enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find a club without a dress down code. First visit is always a look around (fully clothed) Never any pressure to play EVER! Your visit could be brief, maybe say that and stick with that plan.

Nobody knows exactly what has been discussed between you both, so my ideas above, might be something you know nothing about.

All the best x

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

"Also, if she does go be careful what night you go along to.

The vibe from a couples only and single female night can be very different to when single males are allowed or even party nights.

I would strongly suggest for your first venture to a club you choose a couples only and single female night, they are a lot different to a single male night and maybe better for a club novice.

Hope you both enjoy. "

Good advice

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Why not just be happy that she swings with you?

Was swinging your suggestion? And she now does it ?

Why not just respect her wishes?

Clubs really aren’t for everyone..

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

"How about respecting her wishes and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do. "

Totally agree

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

"Also, if she does go be careful what night you go along to.

The vibe from a couples only and single female night can be very different to when single males are allowed or even party nights.

I would strongly suggest for your first venture to a club you choose a couples only and single female night, they are a lot different to a single male night and maybe better for a club novice.

Hope you both enjoy. "

I'd like to add to this and say from my own experience I prefer the vibe when single men are allowed, each club is very different. Clubs have cliques, friends in groups, regulars etc, it's completely specific to the club.

Whilst I'd recommend a fun for all night for all night for starting there are lots of different opinions. I feel like couples and fems only nights tend to feel more bitchy, there isn't as much play happening, and generally there's less sexual tension in the club which isn't what I'm looking for when I go to a swinging club

It all depends on what your partner is looking for, have a full out discussion about her wants and needs, have a look at the club reviews page on here to see what people say, search the forums together and have a look at what people say about their experiences. Give your partner all of the information and support, let her know it's something you're interested in exploring at her pace and you'll have a roaring time. Before I went into my first swingers club I was scared, my partner was incredibly supportive.

Remember that your partner comes first and look out for her, your cock can wait.

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you. I wouldn't take it lightly and no expectation to join in.

Really appreciate the feedback

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

I am hapoy and I'd never push her into anything. Itsnjust a general question I'm asking, nothing more.

It was both our idea to swing and it's going well.

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you, appreciate the feedback, there's no pressure on her amd if I'm honest it's more for her than for me to be with anyone else.

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you to everyone with feedback, it's much appreciated and I'll show her all comments.

Just to be clear, I'd never force her into anything, ever.

This is just to give her a more open voew on other people's views and it's not a completely sordid affair with everyone having a free for all and that she has a choice and complete control herself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about respecting her wishes and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do. "

My thoughts exactly.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thank you, appreciate the feedback, there's no pressure on her amd if I'm honest it's more for her than for me to be with anyone else. "

you can use reply+quote then we will know who you're replying to

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By *irce22Couple
over a year ago

somewhere near you

Why not try a party night that is not seedy? Join killing kittens - parties don’t get much more classy.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"How about respecting her wishes and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do.

Absolutely this.

This is the correct answer

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

[Removed by poster at 17/08/21 22:17:54]

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"How about respecting her wishes and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do.

Absolutely this.

This is the correct answer

Very much so, but most people get their (mis)information from pretty biased sources. Telly, newspapers and the Chinese whispers machine aka soc med. This then skews opinion and is very hard to shift.

Put it this way, how much do you know about the Freemasons and their kind?

I've seen the C4 program on Liberty Elite in Lutterworth: it didn't give the club any justice. The guest rooms are really classy motel rooms, just across the lawn from the main club.

Purple Mamba in Nottingham looks more like a branch of Hollister (Small, clean, intimate, well lit and very relaxing, with a couple of Chesterfield sofas to boot)

Rather than 'some seedy nightclub' that you'd expect the press to bleat on about, without actually going to.

I want to return to both of those clubs in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I agree. No pressure club visit.. everyone feels unsure sometimes.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Thank you to everyone with feedback, it's much appreciated and I'll show her all comments.

Just to be clear, I'd never force her into anything, ever.

This is just to give her a more open voew on other people's views and it's not a completely sordid affair with everyone having a free for all and that she has a choice and complete control herself.

As others have said, go with no plans to play. Dress up so you both feel good, search on the Clubs list for Clubs you like the look of and just go for an evening. You don’t have to go for long, but you might find you want to, generally Clubs start being more entertaining from 10:30/11 onwards. We prefer dressed Clubs as we enjoy trying to look our best - takes longer & longer these days!

From our experience we’d suggest giving VA or Purple Mamba a visit - look at the eventnights and maybe avoid a ‘greedy girl’ night, unless that what you both want - might be a bit full on for a first visit! A Swingers Clubs can be great fun, they aren’t in any way seedy. Sex Clubs are however, a little different.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

If she really doesn't want to go to a club then respect that.

If you do manage to persuade her then I'd say select the club very carefully because some are undoubtedly, on first impressions, a bit seedy and can be quite intimidating for new people.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"Thank you to everyone with feedback, it's much appreciated and I'll show her all comments.

Just to be clear, I'd never force her into anything, ever.

This is just to give her a more open voew on other people's views and it's not a completely sordid affair with everyone having a free for all and that she has a choice and complete control herself.

You think she will be ok thay you discussed this and held a vote on it? If you already asked a few times then it's more nagging. And this would feel like pressure.

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

She is totally aware I asked the question. Not sure I asked anyone to vote either. Asked opinions that is all but ty for the feedback

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"She is totally aware I asked the question. Not sure I asked anyone to vote either. Asked opinions that is all but ty for the feedback "

Oh you ment view not vote when you said voew.. Easy mistake to make.

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By *rsandBoo OP Man
over a year ago

Reading

"She is totally aware I asked the question. Not sure I asked anyone to vote either. Asked opinions that is all but ty for the feedback

Oh you ment view not vote when you said voew.. Easy mistake to make. "

I did wonder lol would never do a vote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both thought the same,we spoke about it for a few weeks then one day just thought f##k it if we don't like it we'll just leave but at least we'd know.we paced up and down foe a out an hour nervous,it was a take your own drink club but we never expected to stay so didn't both.when we got in we was shocked how normal it was,we got a soft d*unk from the bar and got chatting to a couple then another and another before we knew it it was kicking out time.As we never expected to stay we didn't take anything to change into and at times felt over dressed . We've never met such a friendly group of ppl with never feeling pressured to do anything or get changed.

Every night out we go to a club now with no expectation and never had a bad night,might not always strike it lucky but always meet nice friendly people and have a laugh

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

"We both thought the same,we spoke about it for a few weeks then one day just thought f##k it if we don't like it we'll just leave but at least we'd know.we paced up and down foe a out an hour nervous,it was a take your own drink club but we never expected to stay so didn't both.when we got in we was shocked how normal it was,we got a soft d*unk from the bar and got chatting to a couple then another and another before we knew it it was kicking out time.As we never expected to stay we didn't take anything to change into and at times felt over dressed . We've never met such a friendly group of ppl with never feeling pressured to do anything or get changed.

Every night out we go to a club now with no expectation and never had a bad night,might not always strike it lucky but always meet nice friendly people and have a laugh"

This

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

How about letting her take the lead !

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