FabSwingers.com forum: Unfair

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wanted some advice. i have been chatting to a couple for ages and they wanted a coffee and a chat which went great, then it was down to organising a meet they sent me an essay of demands here were a few:

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's fair, no, that should H e all been discussed before even a meet for coffee, can't have passion without a kiss or a flirt at the least!! Well that's my opinion, do they want u to act like a robot on auto pilot?? And as for the hotel, if they want two rooms then they shud pay for their own and you your own xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see the problem. I don't see any of that as unreasonable. I would prefer people are honest and say what suits them. If it doesn't suit you then you have done the right thing and walked away.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It might not be fair, but they have possibly had success doing things this way so are not going to change.

Knowing their attitude do you really still want to play with them?

Hopefully the answer is no. In which case block them too, that way they can't contact you again and move on to friendlier people.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apologies I misread and thought they would book the hotel. Yes it's unfair to ask you to pay for both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I agree with you, you're entitled to change your mind as are they.

Did they expect you to pay for the room? We would pay half if it was something we wanted to do.

It seems some couples on here think they're doing single guys a favour by agreeing to meet them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

crikey.

they didnt want much did they.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it fair...yes and no.

how and what they do and dont do on a meet is their choice but they should have laid out their ground rules from the start then any one desperate enough to pay for 2 hotel rooms with only a slight chance of getting some action could be happy to agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheeky buggers clearly using u for a free night away!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair? "

Do you have any preferences in how you play? Do you have bounderies?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

they gave you the choice... well the demands...

you had two options... you could have gone along with the demands, or you have said no thanks...

you said no thanks.....

your choice... your consequence....

I don't see an issue with what you did... however I also don't see an issue with what they did in response as well....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with post above and i would block block block how rude we personally prefer to accomodate at ours but then people are different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As op said those sort of demands should have been talked about way before you even met for coffee.

Fame couples don't allow kissing but no flirting just seems wrong. I couldn't play without kissing and flirting its just part of play for me.

Can't believe they expect you to get 2 hotel rooms. That to us is just wrong to us. I know some couples expect single guys to accomedate or book a hotel room butvthats usually discussed early on.

Sounds like to me they got you to meet up for a drink and hoped you would like what you saw well enough to fork out money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meant the cheeky buggers post

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I politely said no as none of this was mentioned on all the chats we had. I would happily pay for my own room but not theirs aswell.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I could put i want to stay at the ritz on my profile on a meet, doesnt mean im going to get it but i could be cheeky enough to put it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with other comments this should have been made clear from the start. They obivously have had success in the past. No its not fair. All you can do is learn from this and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only the hotel room part is the issue, just dont jump through hoops for essentially getting a shag.There are plenty of others out there..without such a ridiculous request..its their responsibility to attend to their own accom after the meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair?

Do you have any preferences in how you play? Do you have bounderies?"

im as open minded as possible my motto is il try anything once if i like it great if not then at least i tried

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair?

Do you have any preferences in how you play? Do you have bounderies?

im as open minded as possible my motto is il try anything once if i like it great if not then at least i tried

ok....do you have preferences? ie do you meet at home? do you like to kiss the female of the couple on the lips etc?

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I don't see anything wrong with them sending you their "don't's", it makes sure you're aware in advance of what is acceptable and what isn't without them having a go at you on the night. However, demanding that YOU pay for both rooms if they want their own is disgusting. If we are adamant that we want our own room then we will pay for it. You're not their meal ticket for a free break away!

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair?

Do you have any preferences in how you play? Do you have bounderies?

im as open minded as possible my motto is il try anything once if i like it great if not then at least i tried

ok....do you have preferences? ie do you meet at home? do you like to kiss the female of the couple on the lips etc?"

I love kissing and i can accom when my housemates are out and i can do hotel/house meets. We chatted for ages and they knew all this. Thats what baffles me.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

cant see what your moaning about..

bloody single blokes...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"cant see what your moaning about..

bloody single blokes...

cheeky lol

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"cant see what your moaning about..

bloody single blokes...

cheeky lol"

did you meet them via here or was it on 'fab royals'..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would require the same but also for you to pick us up and be bearing gifts for wor lass!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"cant see what your moaning about..

bloody single blokes...

cheeky lol

did you meet them via here or was it on 'fab royals'..

on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We would require the same but also for you to pick us up and be bearing gifts for wor lass!

champagne and strawberries

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair?

Do you have any preferences in how you play? Do you have bounderies?

im as open minded as possible my motto is il try anything once if i like it great if not then at least i tried

ok....do you have preferences? ie do you meet at home? do you like to kiss the female of the couple on the lips etc?

I love kissing and i can accom when my housemates are out and i can do hotel/house meets. We chatted for ages and they knew all this. Thats what baffles me."

why did they not say all this when you was haveing a coffe meet and why 2 rooms in a hotel we have done hotel meets one room will do but if we meet for a drink we do tell our likes and dilikes there and then .we all know where we stand then

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I'll admit that I'm not really into kissing other guys (women, on the other hand...

), but people we intend to meet will be made aware of this well in advance. I'm happy enough to kiss/bite other body parts (neck, shoulders, ect), but when it comes to tongue action and actual kissing, I have no real interest in kissing anyone other than Vincent.

- Amy. x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair?

Do you have any preferences in how you play? Do you have bounderies?

im as open minded as possible my motto is il try anything once if i like it great if not then at least i tried

ok....do you have preferences? ie do you meet at home? do you like to kiss the female of the couple on the lips etc?

I love kissing and i can accom when my housemates are out and i can do hotel/house meets. We chatted for ages and they knew all this. Thats what baffles me."

Then you have found you don't match what you are all wanting out of a meet after all. I don't call preferences "demands" I expect people we meet to have preferences and vice versa.

Of course they could have been letting you down gently after meeting for that coffee.

The issue of the Hotel is a plain one for me, if anyone asked us to pay for two rooms we would be saying no too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can change your mind too .. and if you felt thay was not right for you i feel you did that right thing .

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

oh and kissing is a must for me mrs shy on any meet m or f

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And asking you two pay for two hotel rooms is bang out of order .. sorry but its fun for all of you .. so the cost should be split .. I would not have a man pay for my room makes me feel like a tart .. split is fine with hotel room. If not let then to take a run and jump. As some will take you for a ride and not in bed .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And asking you two pay for two hotel rooms is bang out of order .. sorry but its fun for all of you .. so the cost should be split .. I would not have a man pay for my room makes me feel like a tart .. split is fine with hotel room. If not let then to take a run and jump. As some will take you for a ride and not in bed ."

well said

it was a marriot aswell not even a travel lodge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you had a lucky escape!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have a choice whether to accept the T&Cs of the person/people we are about to meet.

I have my own, and respect others to have theirs in return.

If they are mutually acceptable then the meet is likely to go ahead, otherwise it will not happen.

I cannot help if the others think I have wasted their time for engaging me in the first place, as I would have told them I am hard work right at the beginning!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We've had one hotel meet with a single guy and we paid for the room!! It never even came up in conversation that we would ask him to contribute as we were going to stay in the room overnight (although we could have gone home as nearby).

If we hadn't stayed over we'd have split it, and if he was staying over we'd expect him to pay for it, pretty fair we think.

Like others say it's up to both parties to agree, but I understand that OP would be annoyed that certain aspects could have been mentioned earlier to save wasting everyones time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out if interest, did they have verifications? I'm wondering if other guys have accepted their preferences?

Personally we always pay for any room, as we stay the night in it.

It sounds a little "Diva"ish to me. We like our meets to have the same fun as we do on an equal footing. Certainly would not like guys to feel like they are the grateful underdog that should accept anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would either pay for the room myself or go half with the gent I am meeting.

If I cancel the meet I would still cough up my half of the room. However, if he cancels the meet, then he has to bear the whole cost himself.

As stated upfront.

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

Would never have crossed my mind to ask someone to pay for our room and their own ....mmmm good idea tho lol anyone want temp lol will only cost ye a room for me at a top class hotel on a golf course with round of golf thrown in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as you mentioned golf i was sold lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my twopenny worth is that there are alot of single men on here who will jump through hoops to get a "shag" and some couples who take advantage of sheer volume of single men on here and will try and choose a man for their own sexual pleasure only, i wouldn't worry about being called a timewaster and being blocked either, that sounds like them trying to regain control of the situation ps there are some fab couples that exist on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair? "

It snot fair but then again, they sound like idiots who have it good from the desperation of guys on dry runs.

Think about it, any guy who toes the line of those demands are really desperate.

Better chance going to a pub/bar and pulling. At least you know you'll get a kiss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wanted some advice. i have been chatting to a couple for ages and they wanted a coffee and a chat which went great, then it was down to organising a meet they sent me an essay of demands here were a few: Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof. i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in. i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife. I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair? "

A lot of things in life are far from fair. A lot of things in life don't go our way and have to be put down to experience. You have clearly had an experience which was not fair from your perspective, and did not go your way. Learn from it. Next time you will be more on the ball from the off, won't you...? Not being negative or getting at you - just stating the facts as they appear from what you have said.

Try turning what they did around so next time you get in first with what YOU are looking for. You DO NOT have to be nasty about (have a look at our profile and see how we deal with the subject of kissing), but you do need to set out your stall.

And remember - as a single guy you are NOT doing them a favour, nor are they doing you one. Swinging/Recreational Sex, whatever label you want to put on it, is a two-way street...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did they want the red carpet rolled out aswell

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By *iggamanMan
over a year ago

London

" my twopenny worth is that there are alot of single men on here who will jump through hoops to get a "shag" and some couples who take advantage of sheer volume of single men on here and will try and choose a man for their own sexual pleasure only, i wouldn't worry about being called a timewaster and being blocked either, that sounds like them trying to regain control of the situation ps there are some fab couples that exist on here.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I could put i want to stay at the ritz on my profile on a meet, doesnt mean im going to get it but i could be cheeky enough to put it"

Perhaps we should give it a go and see what happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aww babes so sorry to hear that it isnt fair why you should have to pay for both hotels. whats the point in swinging if you arent allowed to kiss or flirt with his wife my god something wrong there so people can be rude babes keep your chin up keep going you will find that special couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their house is off limits they dont want it going on under their roof

i have to book 2 hotel rooms 1 for me and them i can go watch and maybe join in

i must not kiss on the lips or flirt with his wife

I politely declined and i was called a timewaster and blocked is this fair? "

no i dont think they are being fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure how the couple will feel after seeing extracts from their private mail posted in the forums.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

You stick to what you feel is right which is what everyone does. I stick to my rules so your entitled to do the same.

Pay for your room yes but not theirs x

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Forgot to say as for the no kissing....pmsl. No kissing equals no sex to me.

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