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Winks or Messages?

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern

So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally message. I rarely wink.

I find that probably 90% of my messages go unread anyway haha.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I personally message. I rarely wink.

I find that probably 90% of my messages go unread anyway haha. "

You aren’t alone there, we probably send more than we receive lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had one person message me first and a handful of replies. What's most frustrating is that you can chat for one evening but then never manage to pick back up again. Or they delete their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to message. Rarely will I wink - unless maybe joining in some forum games.

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By *inegarStrokesMan
over a year ago

Uxbridge

I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern

[Removed by poster at 03/08/21 23:54:47]

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though "

You’re right, each to their own.

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By *heHungStudentMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I usually tend to do a mix of both depending on the situation or people, sometimes youll see they dont respond to winks in their bio and other times its prefered to save wasting time

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure."

Fair play, makes sense. Out of interest do you ever get any responses back from this though?

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

It’s very rare for me to look at winks unless it’s part of a forum game, I prefer the personal touch of a message but has to be a refreshing message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s very rare for me to look at winks unless it’s part of a forum game, I prefer the personal touch of a message but has to be a refreshing message."

Messages always answered and I don’t always ignore winks… depends on the sender x

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

A wink is ok but a message is the icing on the cake.plus winks are lazy

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

I get a sense of excitement logging on and seeing messages. I don't mind winks either but prefer the personal touch.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

We agree, winking feels a little lazy to us, we don't respond to them anymore.

When we winked back 99% of the time that's the end of any interaction, so it looks like the other profile wants us to do the leg work and ultimately makes us think their either not that interested, talkative or just lazy.

Or maybe over thought the whole thing

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By *inkyJamesMan
over a year ago

80020 Broomfield


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

For me their filters are set so I can't send a message it's the only way I can show my appreciation for the glimps ino their sex life

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By *inkyJamesMan
over a year ago

80020 Broomfield


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

Fair play, makes sense. Out of interest do you ever get any responses back from this though?"

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By *inkyJamesMan
over a year ago

80020 Broomfield


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

Fair play, makes sense. Out of interest do you ever get any responses back from this though?"

I don't & don't really expect to my one & only goal is to try to be flattering or complimentary in any way a can

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By *inkyJamesMan
over a year ago

80020 Broomfield


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

Fair play, makes sense. Out of interest do you ever get any responses back from this though?"

I don't & don't really expect to my one & only goal is to try to be flattering or complimentary in any way a can

As well as not be a time waster

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"We agree, winking feels a little lazy to us, we don't respond to them anymore.

When we winked back 99% of the time that's the end of any interaction, so it looks like the other profile wants us to do the leg work and ultimately makes us think their either not that interested, talkative or just lazy.

Or maybe over thought the whole thing

"

yeah we think the same sometimes

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

To be honest I seldom look at the winks I get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest I seldom look at the winks I get."

Winks .. lol

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By *inkyJamesMan
over a year ago

80020 Broomfield


"I get a sense of excitement logging on and seeing messages. I don't mind winks either but prefer the personal touch. "

I like Winks

I guess cuz it encourages me to send a message in return not feeling I'm not being a time waster

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"To be honest I seldom look at the winks I get."

Not surprised, we have a few single female friends on here and they can’t get through the messages never mind the winks

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton


"To be honest I seldom look at the winks I get.

Not surprised, we have a few single female friends on here and they can’t get through the messages never mind the winks "

I message but very rare get an answer back

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By *stoppMan
over a year ago

Durham

From previous forum questions on this recently, it’s quite a mixed bag how people inter act regarding winks, like/hate/ignore or just don’t see the point in them we certainly have a very mixed opinion of them.. personal I don’t use them at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for us a wink is more just a bit of a nod of appreciation, where as we message if we would ike to see if it leads to anything, same with received messages and winks x

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

I receive neither so it’s not something I can comment on

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By *arkhelgaCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Wink away what's the worst that could happen Xxx

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Dont mind a wink or message but do get frustrated with those who wink us and when we respond by sending a message completely ignore it. Why bother winking in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think I've ever sent a wink. To me it says "I'm interested in you but only if you are prepared to put the effort on first"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't think I've ever sent a wink. To me it says "I'm interested in you but only if you are prepared to put the effort on first""

it's just a wink man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the wink option. Has nothing to do with being lazy. It's the same as if you were in public space. A wink is a shuttle way of showing interest. A wink back is a clear sign that there may be a mutual interest. A message normally follows. The double standard I feel is people who love to insist on people messaging them then claim"if we delete it means we are not interested" Really? Who is the lazy one? Can't spend 30 seconds to type not interested? Clearly the ratio of men to women on here facilitates this. It is what it is though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wink to show a possible interest a message shows your interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely respond at all to winks and often miss them too. Messages are the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely message unless i get a wink back just due to the fact that most messages don’t even get read. Never mind a response.

Saying that the ones who wink never read them either

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By *hitemidlandsmaleMan
over a year ago

Bedworth


"I personally message. I rarely wink.

I find that probably 90% of my messages go unread anyway haha.

You aren’t alone there, we probably send more than we receive lol "

There must be some fools on here to ignore your messages.

I send a few and always make sure it is personalised to the persons profile, then it sits un read. So I do wink, but they go ignored as well.

I sound bitter but I'm really not, there is always someone for every body even if it takes some time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure."

Yeah same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/08/21 11:05:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely messages over winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink but only to people I really would like to get to know,following Fabs advice.

Yes, it's easier, and some would say lazier, than messaging but since I tailor every message to each and every individual, rather than cut-n-paste, it can be quite demoralising when you don't get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

Yeah same "

I always feel winks get ignored at least with a message you can show a bit character.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink, if I receive a wink bank then that's when I feel like it's time to escalate it to a message

If i don't get a wink back then it's no drama. Some people don't even check them so it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like a wink, but much prefer a message

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

If you were closer and interested in meeting men I’d definitely message, but it’s a risk as the percentage of replies is slim so I’m reasonable careful about messaging but your profile looks quite good I used to wink but it seems pointless as most ladies say they don’t even look at them ..

My take on it

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By *urious1973Man
over a year ago

angus

I'll take either just now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to message and be messaged with something more than just hi for me it shows you have made a effort at least to string a sentience along and im more likely to reply to those who show there intrested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely check or respond to winks. I prefer people message, it's on my profile xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to wink if they wink back I’d message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink to show I'm interested, if I receive one back then I'll send a message

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr

If you were closer and interested in meeting men I’d definitely message, but it’s a risk as the percentage of replies is slim so I’m reasonable careful about messaging but your profile looks quite good I used to wink but it seems pointless as most ladies say they don’t even look at them ..

My take on it "

We get winks all the time from profiles who don’t even bother to look at who we are looking to meet and how far away we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

I always prefer to either send or receive a message

Have to be honest I'm never to sure what a wink means

For me it's quite simply I really like your profile/pics, which I've put at the bottom of my profile..for the few people who read profiles

So there's times I'll wink at people from the South of England

But if I receive a wink I don't know what to take from it, maybe that's more my problem than the winkers tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take anything lol

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I take anything lol"

lol bold statement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I take anything lol

lol bold statement "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not wrong, I’m guilty of sending winks but sometimes just feel with the amount of junk Mail couples and single ladies get this can be a way to also show interest if I receive a wink back I always respond with a message. I’ve definitely found the forums as the best way to connect with more genuine people with mutual interests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to show interest with a wink, if I get a reply or a wink back in very happy to send a message, you can write a nice message take a bit of time and then get nothing in return not even a check of your profile, seems a bit pointless sometimes

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I like to show interest with a wink, if I get a reply or a wink back in very happy to send a message, you can write a nice message take a bit of time and then get nothing in return not even a check of your profile, seems a bit pointless sometimes"

That’s the norm though, not everyone will respond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like to show interest with a wink, if I get a reply or a wink back in very happy to send a message, you can write a nice message take a bit of time and then get nothing in return not even a check of your profile, seems a bit pointless sometimes

That’s the norm though, not everyone will respond. "

It is what it is I suppose, just my two penneth !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winks shared are a good way of showing interest, I think that they should always be followed up with a message though if a wink is sent back.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"Winks shared are a good way of showing interest, I think that they should always be followed up with a message though if a wink is sent back."

Hmmm yeah agreed, I think our frustration with this is unnecessary winks from people we are clearly not looking to meet. We wouldn’t wink or message someone who wasn’t looking to meet couples that fit our profile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More often than not I will send a message. Sometimes I will send a wink, usually if I am tired or can't think of something to say. I always try to reply to any winks I receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wank is good to break the ice or message is nice to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I take anything lol

lol bold statement "

Mean I look at both and answer to both, doesn’t cost anything to be responsive

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"A wank is good to break the ice or message is nice to "

Wank or wink?

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I take anything lol

lol bold statement

Mean I look at both and answer to both, doesn’t cost anything to be responsive "

Some say this but we’ve seen a female friends account and she gets thousands of winks and messages every day. There’s no way she could respond to all or even have the time to look at all of the accounts.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Winks are ok so show if people like what they see do perfur a message after if possible

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By *ang Average guyMan
over a year ago

Farnborough

I tend to wink and reply with a message if the wink is reciprocated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to wink to see if there’s an initial mutual attraction

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By *W1967Man
over a year ago

South Leicestershire

My thoughts are that being a mature single guy in a sea of literally thousands, a wink will get you nowhere, and probably not even get your profile viewed.

A carefully crafted message in response to what someone is looking for generally gets read. They are responded to about 20% of the time, even if it's a polite not for us. I can live with that

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"My thoughts are that being a mature single guy in a sea of literally thousands, a wink will get you nowhere, and probably not even get your profile viewed.

A carefully crafted message in response to what someone is looking for generally gets read. They are responded to about 20% of the time, even if it's a polite not for us. I can live with that"

I would say this is bang on

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

Fair play, makes sense. Out of interest do you ever get any responses back from this though?"

We do the same

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

Be careful tho , some wink and when you wink back they block , strange world we live

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"Be careful tho , some wink and when you wink back they block , strange world we live "

Lol yeah, also like when people block you for not reading a message within 10 mins

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian


"Be careful tho , some wink and when you wink back they block , strange world we live

Lol yeah, also like when people block you for not reading a message within 10 mins "

I’d wait days for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes we write a message and sometimes we wink.

We use winks to see if there may be a mutual interest. If we get a wink back, we will then message.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes


"I would wink if I didn't perfectly match a profile requirement and if I get a wink back I would follow up with a message, it's like getting permission if you are unsure.

Fair play, makes sense. Out of interest do you ever get any responses back from this though?"

Yes, sometimes a polite thanks and a few exchanges and one has led to a regular meet and friendship with a couple who's age range I was outside of, I'm outside of most people's age range so ha e to take a gamble.

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By *ereforthefun1Couple
over a year ago

derby

Prefer messages I never know how to respond to a wink

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

We’ll take either.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

In all the years we've been on sites like this we've never sent a wink or replied to one. If people can't be bothered to read our profile and write a proper message why would we bother to reply?

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"In all the years we've been on sites like this we've never sent a wink or replied to one. If people can't be bothered to read our profile and write a proper message why would we bother to reply? "

We do respond but sometimes get so many we just delete all x

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley


"In all the years we've been on sites like this we've never sent a wink or replied to one. If people can't be bothered to read our profile and write a proper message why would we bother to reply?

We do respond but sometimes get so many we just delete all x"

...and let that be a message to all the winkers...

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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

We get a lot of winks but not quite sure on the wink ettiquette...does sending a wink back mean we're happy for them to message us or are they expecting us to message them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a tricky one and I think most fabbers have different reasons for sending.

For me I send if I have an interest in the profile. Though I also send even if I know the wink isn’t reciprocated.

And OP how can you not get replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wink to show I'm interested, if I receive one back then I'll send a message "

Exactly, the way Fab intended it to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Prefer messages I never know how to respond to a wink"

If you like the person's profile and you'd like them to message you, you wink back, simple really.

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By *rumcouple2013Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth


"I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though "

Same for us.

Normally if we get a wink back then we message.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"It’s a tricky one and I think most fabbers have different reasons for sending.

For me I send if I have an interest in the profile. Though I also send even if I know the wink isn’t reciprocated.

And OP how can you not get replies. "

Same as any other profile on here, either the people we’ve messaged think we are munters or we have shit craic lol

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really think people should read what the founding fathers of Fab have written about how to use Fab and what they believe we should understand when we receive or contact others, it's not difficult Fabsters, can we not embrace and learn together?

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I really think people should read what the founding fathers of Fab have written about how to use Fab and what they believe we should understand when we receive or contact others, it's not difficult Fabsters, can we not embrace and learn together? "

What are you suggesting we do differently here then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winks are more of a standoff where both wink and then noone messages in my experience lmao.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s very rare for me to look at winks unless it’s part of a forum game, I prefer the personal touch of a message but has to be a refreshing message."

I read that as personal touch of a massage...

Getting slightly ahead of myself lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not against winks. To me, a wink is a “have a look at my profile, if you like what you see, wink back and I’ll messsge”.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Both have there place. Reading profiles is key as a lot of women say I don’t respond to winks. It’s a quick way to establish if someone may wish to talk with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really think people should read what the founding fathers of Fab have written about how to use Fab and what they believe we should understand when we receive or contact others, it's not difficult Fabsters, can we not embrace and learn together?

What are you suggesting we do differently here then? "

I'm sorry but I don't quite understand what you mean

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

We are good with winks just half the time we get winked. We wink back and nothing happens after that lol so what's the point.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I really think people should read what the founding fathers of Fab have written about how to use Fab and what they believe we should understand when we receive or contact others, it's not difficult Fabsters, can we not embrace and learn together?

What are you suggesting we do differently here then?

I'm sorry but I don't quite understand what you mean "

Same lol x do you think we should be looking at this from a different angle? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really think people should read what the founding fathers of Fab have written about how to use Fab and what they believe we should understand when we receive or contact others, it's not difficult Fabsters, can we not embrace and learn together?

What are you suggesting we do differently here then?

I'm sorry but I don't quite understand what you mean

Same lol x do you think we should be looking at this from a different angle? x"

Ah, sorry, I now understand I wasn't being straightforward....yes, a wink was supposed to be a "quick message" of "hi, I like your profile" then if you like theirs you wink back and leads on to a message

I might be wrong but this is how I read what a wink was suppose to be about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really think people should read what the founding fathers of Fab have written about how to use Fab and what they believe we should understand when we receive or contact others, it's not difficult Fabsters, can we not embrace and learn together?

What are you suggesting we do differently here then?

I'm sorry but I don't quite understand what you mean

Same lol x do you think we should be looking at this from a different angle? x

Ah, sorry, I now understand I wasn't being straightforward....yes, a wink was supposed to be a "quick message" of "hi, I like your profile" then if you like theirs you wink back and leads on to a message

I might be wrong but this is how I read what a wink was suppose to be about. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally message. I rarely wink.

I find that probably 90% of my messages go unread anyway haha. "

Know the feeling

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I personally message. I rarely wink.

I find that probably 90% of my messages go unread anyway haha.

Know the feeling "

This just part of life though, we should all get that we aren’t everyone’s preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

Im pretty sure lads like me wouldn’t msg you

Reason

Id feel inadequate, because your absolutely stunning and wouldn’t think you would look at me in the slightest?

Maybe thats why

Possibly

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

Indeed, I thought that a match preferred a message unless they are watching you on cam in a chat room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will always answer a wink weather it’s a couple or single. Who knows where it would lead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

As I single male contacting couples or single ladies I do tend to send a wink over message! Only the fact is most couples get tons of people contacting them!

A wink is more like I like you let me know if you like me back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the profile description

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr

As I single male contacting couples or single ladies I do tend to send a wink over message! Only the fact is most couples get tons of people contacting them!

A wink is more like I like you let me know if you like me back! "

Absolutely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink to show I’m interested in a chat but rarely get a response, which is so sad

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Srill in

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though "

Some of us don’t even look at our winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though

Some of us don’t even look at our winks "

Maybe you should, think of all that untapped opportunities!

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la


"I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though

Some of us don’t even look at our winks "

I only ever look at winks when a post like this appears in the forums and reminds me that winks exist. I never send winks, if I'm interested in someone I will message them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I prefer to receive a message to a wink as well. However because majority just get deleted or stay unread a wink is a quick and easy way to see if someone is interested. If I get one back I then message. If not I don’t tend to bother as I assume not interested.

Works for me. Everyone has their own preferences though

Some of us don’t even look at our winks

I only ever look at winks when a post like this appears in the forums and reminds me that winks exist. I never send winks, if I'm interested in someone I will message them "

This

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

I tend to message but you never know what they are thinking I would prefer if they aren’t interested to delete the message rather than just reading and not getting back to you

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton


"I personally message. I rarely wink.

I find that probably 90% of my messages go unread anyway haha.

You aren’t alone there, we probably send more than we receive lol "

Who is daft enough not to message you back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

Personally I send messages unless unverified but do struggle trying to be creative and standout each time. Each msg takes me a fair while to write and then getting no reply at all is draining.

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

The problem I get as a single guy is you write say 30 or 40 messages and either you get no response or the messages are deleted.

So in the end you just sort of give up and send winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve messaged a few women what’s the point if a woman messaged the man I didn’t reply

WILL

but if a man sends a message to a woman saying that she looks beautiful and nice but getting no reply that’s okay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem I get as a single guy is you write say 30 or 40 messages and either you get no response or the messages are deleted.

So in the end you just sort of give up and send winks"

My other pet peeve is you read the profile, it says one word messages etc will be ignored, read our profile, be creative etc. So I try to write one or two paragraphs on them me and get a bit of chat going and then get a one word message back that says hi or hiya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with a friendly wink

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"Nothing wrong with a friendly wink "

We aren’t saying there’s anything wrong with it, just seems hardly anyone sends us a message in the first instance these days, maybe it’s just us lol x

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By *heHungStudentMan
over a year ago

Kettering


"Nothing wrong with a friendly wink

We aren’t saying there’s anything wrong with it, just seems hardly anyone sends us a message in the first instance these days, maybe it’s just us lol x"

Cant speak for othera but i feel the addition amount of males on here since covid as led to most getting les replies than before to the point where a wink and then spending that 5 minutes crafting a good first message is more befitting once one knows that the mutual interest is there

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We've returned many winks from couples, but no message has followed. Either they wink accidentally, or they're very very shy

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By *ickedwillyCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

It’s always nice to get a wink

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"We've returned many winks from couples, but no message has followed. Either they wink accidentally, or they're very very shy "

We’ve came across this a lot, part of the reason we prefer messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always message. I can't be doing with winks. I may occasionally respond if someone has winked me but I wouldn't personally wink any profiles to initiate contact.

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By *hongman1Man
over a year ago

Mansfield

I only ever message if our profiles match, if it’s a close match I’ll probably drop a wink. Let’s be honest though, I’d have to message 50 people a day to get 1 or 2 replies due to the ratio of men women/couples. I always write a personal message, never EVER copy and paste and always thoroughly read the profile, using code words in subject headers and don’t ever speculatively message anyone if I notice even 1 thing on the profile that I think would make them not respond, I’d just be wasting their time if I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never look at our winks if someone likes us they should message

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"We've returned many winks from couples, but no message has followed. Either they wink accidentally, or they're very very shy

We’ve came across this a lot, part of the reason we prefer messages "

We're not the only ones! Confused.com

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like both winks and messages

But prefer messages as you can get to the point straight away!

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By *ove2Couple
over a year ago

colchester

Definitely prefer messages.

However if we get winked then often wink back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After 1000s msgs without reply you would give up too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get more messages than winks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a message and a real conversation

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We prefer messages if they are decent, but most aren't. We'd rather have a wink than a crap message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be happy to receive anything at this point haha.

A wink shows interest I guess.

So If I wink someone and they wink back then send a message.

And vice versa if someone winks me ill either send one back or send a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We love a wink!!!!

Breaks the ice better….it’s like a first eye contact for us!

Xxx

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By *aveyIOM1970Man
over a year ago

douglas

I like sending winks and receiving them. I think it’s flattering and should be received with the spirit they were sent with. Just my opinion though x

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By *gfbMan
over a year ago

thorne

Both are good

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

Winks, if someone winks back or even looks at my profile then probably a message if we have things in common. I often wink if someone has nice pictures. Too many messages comes across as a bit needy.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"We love a wink!!!!

Breaks the ice better….it’s like a first eye contact for us!

Xxx"
Same here, thats how I see winks too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll admit I tend to wink because I still haven’t worked out a decent opening beyond a dull “hi how are you” which usually gets deleted.

The wink shows interest in someone’s profile and then if they want to reciprocate or message I’ll follow up. I have no idea if this is good or bad, my lack of regular messages on here suggests the latter! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think winks are a good indication whether you would get a reply, if I receive a wink back I will message with some effort. Otherwise you put lots of effort in a don't get a reply which is crap. I get some people get full inboxs and struggle to reply but straight deletes are disheartening would much prefer not for me/us thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr "

Usually I save winks for people I’m not sure about, since people usually prefer to message first. If I get a green light with a wink back or see something interesting in the profile, I’ll message.

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By *eWillMakeYouSquirtCouple
over a year ago

leicester

Good old lil wink lol

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By *rsmith21zMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Good old lil wink lol "

Lol can't wink;)

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By *bsolute101Couple
over a year ago

oxford

Don’t mind a wink. But prefer a message. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink to see if there is a mutual attraction.

There has been a number of times where I write a well constructed opening message which is read and not replied to. If everyone was polite enough to reply, I would be more encourage to message rather than wink.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"So we aren’t averse to the occasional wink but have people just gave up on messaging now? Messages are without a doubt a preference for us as an intro and will always get our attention and I’m pretty confident most would prefer this. Am I wrong?

Mr

Usually I save winks for people I’m not sure about, since people usually prefer to message first. If I get a green light with a wink back or see something interesting in the profile, I’ll message. "

This must mean everyone is unsure of us then

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.


"To be honest I seldom look at the winks I get."

I can understand that as you must get loads of them every day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wink to see if there is a mutual attraction.

There has been a number of times where I write a well constructed opening message which is read and not replied to. If everyone was polite enough to reply, I would be more encourage to message rather than wink. "

This....

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By *BW TV JadaTV/TS
over a year ago

North West

I like the wink - return wink - message system. Its a way of showing interest without writing a long message that will possibly be ignored.

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I wink to see if there is a mutual attraction.

There has been a number of times where I write a well constructed opening message which is read and not replied to. If everyone was polite enough to reply, I would be more encourage to message rather than wink.

This.... "

Couldn’t disagree more, why is it polite to reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hardly ever been winked

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By *un_ajMan
over a year ago

Durham

Messages. Shows far more dedication, especially when you try and type something meaningful like I try to do.

I do give winks out too to show admiration

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By *hebritukCouple
over a year ago

London

We get a lot of winks, usually respond with a wink back when at work or message when we can do. After all, it’s a facility provided as a door opener. Bit like knocking on the door and asking for some sugar. Gives you a chance to check their profile out before messaging them. Why do people read so much into things

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By *rop_dead_desirablesCouple
over a year ago

Mid Sussex

Love a wink and we’ll often check out a profile from a wink… usually prefer when someone sends a face pic and message though I must admit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a wink, seems an ice breaker, I'll wink and if it is reciprocated. A message will usually follow. Good way of checking out profiles and registering interest

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Anything at this stage

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!"

It’s not just about volume of messages for us we can’t be arsed with having to explain ourselves, when we say we are looking to meet couples we always get “I have a female friend I can bring” then it goes sour so why bother getting harassed when we’ve said no once already?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!

It’s not just about volume of messages for us we can’t be arsed with having to explain ourselves, when we say we are looking to meet couples we always get “I have a female friend I can bring” then it goes sour so why bother getting harassed when we’ve said no once already? "

Seems reasonable !!

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!

It’s not just about volume of messages for us we can’t be arsed with having to explain ourselves, when we say we are looking to meet couples we always get “I have a female friend I can bring” then it goes sour so why bother getting harassed when we’ve said no once already?

Seems reasonable !!"

A lot choose to ignore for this reason I think, from what I know most start with replying to everyone then experience this response so sack it off. I responded to someone the other day saying we only look to meet couples and got a load of shit back saying “well you should block single guys”. We leave it open so we can see if anyone local that we may know is viewing our profile

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!

It’s not just about volume of messages for us we can’t be arsed with having to explain ourselves, when we say we are looking to meet couples we always get “I have a female friend I can bring” then it goes sour so why bother getting harassed when we’ve said no once already?

Seems reasonable !!

A lot choose to ignore for this reason I think, from what I know most start with replying to everyone then experience this response so sack it off. I responded to someone the other day saying we only look to meet couples and got a load of shit back saying “well you should block single guys”. We leave it open so we can see if anyone local that we may know is viewing our profile "
They can still view your profile if you say not looking for single guys. Do they still show up on your who's viewed list if you have single guys blocked?

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By *arte_Blanche_NE OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northern


"I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!

It’s not just about volume of messages for us we can’t be arsed with having to explain ourselves, when we say we are looking to meet couples we always get “I have a female friend I can bring” then it goes sour so why bother getting harassed when we’ve said no once already?

Seems reasonable !!

A lot choose to ignore for this reason I think, from what I know most start with replying to everyone then experience this response so sack it off. I responded to someone the other day saying we only look to meet couples and got a load of shit back saying “well you should block single guys”. We leave it open so we can see if anyone local that we may know is viewing our profile They can still view your profile if you say not looking for single guys. Do they still show up on your who's viewed list if you have single guys blocked? "

This is our point, we want to be able to see who’s viewed but can’t if we block so leave our filters open for this reason

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"I think replying to a message is, generally, deemed polite. But then I’m not a single F on here so don’t experience the volume of messages !!

It’s not just about volume of messages for us we can’t be arsed with having to explain ourselves, when we say we are looking to meet couples we always get “I have a female friend I can bring” then it goes sour so why bother getting harassed when we’ve said no once already?

Seems reasonable !!

A lot choose to ignore for this reason I think, from what I know most start with replying to everyone then experience this response so sack it off. I responded to someone the other day saying we only look to meet couples and got a load of shit back saying “well you should block single guys”. We leave it open so we can see if anyone local that we may know is viewing our profile They can still view your profile if you say not looking for single guys. Do they still show up on your who's viewed list if you have single guys blocked?

This is our point, we want to be able to see who’s viewed but can’t if we block so leave our filters open for this reason "
Ah right, I didn't realise they wouldn't appear on your who's viewed you list of you block single guys.

It explains why many couples write not looking for single guys on their profile but don't use the block single guys function.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

No I go to clubs

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By *adbod198Man
over a year ago

newport

Well I used to spend alot of time typing a message and the majority of the time it would be deleted and not even read. So I do send winks and if they wink back I will compose a message.

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
over a year ago

Haywards Heath

I developed a twitch, people just think I'm winking.

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Well I used to spend alot of time typing a message and the majority of the time it would be deleted and not even read. So I do send winks and if they wink back I will compose a message. "

100% agree. In the past I have read profiles in detail taken time to craft an eloquent message to them only to have it deleted or ignored

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Messages are good but, winks have their place too.

They are like an old fashioned glace or a smile at someone you may like the look of in a bar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wink far more than we should. Serial winkers if you like! But we’ll always follow up with a well constructed message that is tailored to the individual(s) if they wink/message back xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love winking

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Think people send winks when they know they aren’t what you are looking for, so no point sending you a message…but still think a wink in a thousand or two might produce a lucky result!

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

We gave up looking at winks a long time ago. If someone had winked and caught our eye we would read the profile, construct a nice message back only for it to be deleted or ignored. Eventually we gave up with the wink system, a complete waste of time. If you want to catch our eye message, as we will do if we want to try and catch an eye. Our wink numbers rise, we delete as it shows folk who wink haven't read our profile as it says there we don't check them

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