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Are you really dominant?

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By *ilk and all things nice OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

secret bunker

What makes you dominant and what makes a person sexually enjoyably dominant ? Lots of people say they are dominant but after 10 mins of chatting they don’t seem Very dominant more just like to give orders !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I thiy it very much depends on individuals. There's no one size fits all and some people might enjoy being given orders

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By *ilk and all things nice OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

secret bunker

Totally agree which is why I’m interested in peoples thoughts

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Totally agree which is why I’m interested in peoples thoughts "

Fair enough

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By *ilk and all things nice OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

secret bunker


"I thiy it very much depends on individuals. There's no one size fits all and some people might enjoy being given orders "

So for a start it’s not mindful but sometimes physical can set the mind.. I see your a very stylish submissive which is sexy

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I thiy it very much depends on individuals. There's no one size fits all and some people might enjoy being given orders

So for a start it’s not mindful but sometimes physical can set the mind.. I see your a very stylish submissive which is sexy "

Thanks.

We don't have a sub/dom relationship outside of the bedroom and not always within it. My definition of a dom will be quite different to many I think but I agree the physical can set the cerebral.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Now! That pink lipstick you're wearing in your oldest photo, what shade and make is it?

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By *oldenbrownMan
over a year ago

Sussex


"What makes you dominant and what makes a person sexually enjoyably dominant ? Lots of people say they are dominant but after 10 mins of chatting they don’t seem Very dominant more just like to give orders !"

I agree completely for some being dominant is like being a caracture of a sergeant major barking orders and demanding photos. Similarly, many believe being submissive involves just relentlessly asking what you want to do with them and call you sir/ master/ mistress etc.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What makes you dominant and what makes a person sexually enjoyably dominant ? Lots of people say they are dominant but after 10 mins of chatting they don’t seem Very dominant more just like to give orders !

I agree completely for some being dominant is like being a caracture of a sergeant major barking orders and demanding photos. Similarly, many believe being submissive involves just relentlessly asking what you want to do with them and call you sir/ master/ mistress etc."

If that's what they enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was dating a women who was nearly six foot I did what I was told.

She use to control me when we were out by gripping my head with her hand and turning me into the direction she wanted to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s more to being dominant than just bossing people about, it’s about holding control and with that comes CONTROL which most folk can’t grasp, they lose control they overstep boundaries, they don’t monitor the situation and look after their submissive, they’re in control of nothing but power for many of them, they don’t care, they don’t look after, they are reckless and they are a danger to others

The submissive relies on the dominant remaining in control of what they’re doing and abiding by strict rules

Lots of individuals confuse abuse with dominant relationships

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Dominance is an odd thing; as is submission and I think 100 people would give you 100 different concepts of either, if they could even explain what their thoughts were.

For me, and I repeat 'me' submission is about totally serving someone sexually in anyway they wish; it is not about pain but can involve being degraded and humiliated.

the flip side to that is that dominance for me is totally the opposite I do like to inflict a degree of pain but struggle to humiliate or degrade (especially younger women).

For me the whole point is mutual pleasure mainly sexual, probably not what many call dominance but it also varies depending on the company i am in.

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By *ilk and all things nice OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

secret bunker

Ok then something from me.. is it possible to want to dress up and enjoy it and yet be humiliated by it as well?

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"What makes you dominant and what makes a person sexually enjoyably dominant ? Lots of people say they are dominant but after 10 mins of chatting they don’t seem Very dominant more just like to give orders !"

This is such a wide question - where to even start?

Two things I can point out from my own understanding and experience:

1. There is no Van Twue Vey (common caricature expression of One True Way). If anyone tells you that there is, RUN.

2. It is easier to describe what dominance IS NOT. So pretty much everything described in Fifty Shades of Lies and Abuse such as domestic violence, coercion, manipulation, abuse, isolating from community, transaction of BDSM in exchange to a romantic relationship, imposing a dynamic on someone who has not agreed to it, preying on someone much less experienced etc. So unless it is based on fully informed (or as fully as humanly possible) enthusiastic consent with a decent risk evaluation, it is not dominance.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ok then something from me.. is it possible to want to dress up and enjoy it and yet be humiliated by it as well?"

If that's your experience then yes, it's possible

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By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

Dominance is about presence ideals not just words a true dom can dominate in silence and still make you quiver it's inner self belief that you transmit to your sub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but have been mistaken for a dom in clubs..possibly due to having a resting bitch face if i'm not smiling. (Mrs)

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

There are many types of Dom, each has traits, so you might talk to sadist Dom who loves inflicting pain, but you could find a daddy Dom who is more of a caregiver type and likes to look after normally littles etc doesn’t mean either is more dominant just different! You probably need to work out what kinda submissive you are to find the right Dom

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