FabSwingers.com forum: Ideas to build up courage

By *owcurious OP Couple
over a year ago

We’ve been on fab a while now and go through cycles of being excited and bored. We never really get that close to making the jump to going to a club or a meet. We are busy, have responsibilities, and are nervous. But the thought is so exciting.

Does anybody have any suggestions we could try to bridge the gap?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"We’ve been on fab a while now and go through cycles of being excited and bored. We never really get that close to making the jump to going to a club or a meet. We are busy, have responsibilities, and are nervous. But the thought is so exciting.

Does anybody have any suggestions we could try to bridge the gap?"

Sometimes in life you just have to put on your big girl/boy pants and step out of your comfort zone.

Better to be on your deathbed thinking I shouldn't have done that rather than I wish I'd tried that.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

How about going to a group social? It's usually a private function room, just like going to an ordinary bar for a drink. No play, just socialising. It's a great way to get to know a few people and relax.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with both of the above. Sometimes jumping in at the deep end is exactly what's needed sometimes.

Although to dip your toes in a group social is certainly a great idea. Went on one myself last year and had a great evening. Was much more relaxed than I was expecting too.

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By *uiet confidenceMan
over a year ago

Warrington

Splash some cash. Book a train and a non-refundable room in a hotel to go to a club far from home (I’d suggest Xtasia is a fair way from where you live but easy to get to) and book a nice meal in a restaurant too.

Basically, put a bit of pressure on yourselves to follow through with it. Based on the photos on your profile, I think once you go through with it, you’ll love it.

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By *owcurious OP Couple
over a year ago

"Splash some cash. Book a train and a non-refundable room in a hotel to go to a club far from home (I’d suggest Xtasia is a fair way from where you live but easy to get to) and book a nice meal in a restaurant too.

Basically, put a bit of pressure on yourselves to follow through with it. Based on the photos on your profile, I think once you go through with it, you’ll love it."

When we think we might jump in the deep end, this is a great idea - I’d be so pissed to waste the money! Haha

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Not bad looking people you be welcome.

Go and just sit in your clothes take it for there.

Remember you never need to play.

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By *erfsCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We’ve done this a number of times, meal in the centre then taxi to xtasia, on most visits nothing happened but the occasions it did were amazing.

Basically, put a bit of pressure on yourselves to follow through with it. Based on the photos on your profile, I think once you go through with it, you’ll love it.

When we think we might jump in the deep end, this is a great idea - I’d be so pissed to waste the money! Haha"

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Ask yourself, what would happen if you didn’t?

Then ask yourself, what would happen if you did?

Then decide.

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By *Starlord69XMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

My partner and I got stuck in by going to a social first, it was great to talk to lots of different couples all with different dynamics and views, we ended up at a house party playing with about 3 other couples and it was great, we've also been out met a couple had a nice few drinks and gone home without playing because we didn't want to, there's no guaranteed sex as such do what you're comfortable with.

Like others have said you only live once, you'd never hear anyone on their deathbed complaining they had too much sex. Above all discuss everything and don't be afraid to talk about what you wouldn't be comfortable with and what you are, as you get more meets under your belt that may change, but it's a little bit like ripping a plaster off you've just got to decide if you're going to do it and if you are rip it off quick

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By *unxxxMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Does anybody have any suggestions we could try to bridge the gap?"

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By *unxxxMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Same thoughts single guy, and have been very adventurous all my life, funny eh, one day lol

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

Just read your profile, and best advise would be continue what you are doing that way there is no confusing issues

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Go to a club. You don't have to do anything just chat to people, tell them it's your first time at a club and you just want to get a feel for it or find a couple from Fab who are going meet them in a pub beforehand so you have a friendly face

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By *ep mcfcMan
over a year ago

gorton

Do you know of any in the Manchester area

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By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

Xtasia in West Bromwich has been suggested by a few folks. Might be a good choice for newbies as there is very little undressing and sexual activity for 95% of the time. Its basically a night club. However in our opinion it does lack "atmosphere"

It depends on what you are looking for. If its a more a straight forward no pressure swinging experience you want, try Chameleons.

As the two clubs are only about 8 miles apart and there is a Premier Inn roughly between the two try a weekend and see what floats your boat.

Remember where ever you choose NO must always mean NO!

G&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a couple of socials and agreed it was something we wanted to take further so went to a club, we were like rabbits caught in headlights at first and played with no one, we just observed and took it all in.. the next visit was a whole lot different.. in a good way.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Basically, put a bit of pressure on yourselves to follow through with it. Based on the photos on your profile, I think once you go through with it, you’ll love it.

When we think we might jump in the deep end, this is a great idea - I’d be so pissed to waste the money! Haha"

To be fair its OK for your first club visit to be a bit of a drinky night out rather than a big sexy sex fest. Sometimes it's nice to go out, have a few drink with like minded people and get a feel for everything without taking part as such. Maybe even make some freinds for future adventures. Clubs are more than just a place to have lots of sex. They're social spaces, spaces to chill, places just to hang out and have a laugh too. Often we can be found mainly at the bar. You could go and just see where the mood takes. Either way you will have been and then hopefully be totally more relaxed about visiting clubs in future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anybody have any suggestions we could try to bridge the gap?"

I've only been to a club once. I was nervous as hell. But if you go with the thought of just seeing what it's all about and not playing you don't put any pressure on yourselves. It's just like going out for the night as normal. You'll end up chatting to a few people anyway most likely and come across others in the same boat as you. The atmosphere is great and you'll feel at ease much more than you expect.

The go again and see what happens. No expectations will have you more relaxed. Plus most have private rooms you can shut yourself away in and have fun with each other. Ease yourselves in gently.

It's just making that first leap to go the first time. Bite the bullet and try it.

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