FabSwingers.com forum: Identifying as a Submissive [Dominant], what does it mean?

By *ensual OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton

I was reading an article which largely accords with my way of thinking. I pass an extract on for other views. I think it also applies to dominants as well.

Of course I have to say this is just a view and there is not one frame of reference for D/S or kink.

" My assertion is that self-identifying as a Chef is a statement of your passion. It’s your preference and “identity” and it means that you want to cook. I further assert, however, that when this person is hired to cook for someone, the recipesthat are needed are subject to the tastes and preferences of the person. What KIND of chef does that person need / prefer: a meat chef; a fish chef; a pastry chef; a sauce chef? Until you know what type of chef is desired – or what type of recipes the person for whom you are cooking prefers, you can’t define the content of the food that will satisfy them. You might be a “chef”, but you don’t know what you’re cooking until you know what’s ordered!

Self-identifying as a submissive is all well and good as a statement of preference and identity…but until you have someone to submit to, you can’t define submission. Submission, since it’s tied to what you are doing for another person, requires that other person to be there. You can’t submit to nothing. "

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

An interesting analogy and one that certainly works both ways round - think I'd disagree though that "until you have someone to submit to(/dominate), you can’t define submission/domination"

Sure you may not be able to define submission/domination to/of a specific person, but you can define what it means to you and your wants and desires, cravings even - not to mention limits and boundaries.

And knowing all those things and defining it for yourself then helps you find the person who likes the look of the menu.

By *ensual OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton

The extract is part of a longer conversation with different views. I did not want to breach copyright by copying the whole thing.

I do think there are interesting concepts to explore around self identification. One of them is doing the self analysis which you have clearly done. Another is although the person identifies as chef, what chef skills does the person actually have.

I like kicking around ideas and getting different sensible views like yours and others on here.

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Oh absolutely, always interesting to consider different perspectives and views and I guess ultimately it comes down to any other kind of attraction based situation - and finding those you are compatible with - sometimes though you can't always see the menu until you've been seated at the table but unless you know your own tastes you will never know what you want from the food on offer.