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By *ensualtouch15 OP   Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

So I message a lady 7 months ago .

She replies positively , however busy . I message from time to time to say hi and ask if I'm still of interest yes it the constant reply but busy , have just sent another message and yes still want to meet but busy , had cheek to say she can't just drop everything for me .note I had not even suggested she should lol

now I had realised she has zero intention of meeting me months ago butI thought he see how long she would drag it along

she is not alone what is the purpose of such behaviour I wonder .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's because they are in the driving seat!!!...but you got a good point!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pass her on to me and ill have a crack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmao

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"pass her on to me and ill have a crack "
That's funny

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By *oco_slimCouple
over a year ago

lewisham

Sorry you had that experience. You're right to believe that she had no intention to meet you, as you said she kept brushing you off, the signal was there loud & clear.

Coco x

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Sometimes it takes me months to sort meets out with people,they're not free when I am,im not free when they are,im working shifts,it can be a nightmare,but when they happen they happen with a bang and ive had the chance to get to know in that time which makes it better

Im not one to rush into anything but I always make that clear from the start,if guys are happy with that then cool but if not then they can always go ask someone else its not a problem for me

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London


"So I message a lady 7 months ago .

She replies positively , however busy . I message from time to time to say hi and ask if I'm still of interest yes it the constant reply but busy , have just sent another message and yes still want to meet but busy , had cheek to say she can't just drop everything for me .note I had not even suggested she should lol

now I had realised she has zero intention of meeting me months ago butI thought he see how long she would drag it along

she is not alone what is the purpose of such behaviour I wonder .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair "

I told her I'm busy and she is gagging for it. Treat em mean son, don't be keen

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


".... .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair "

Well that's your choice, if you think the behaviour of one person is a big enough learning point to change how you appraoch everyone else..... no one will force you to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".... .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair

Well that's your choice, if you think the behaviour of one person is a big enough learning point to change how you appraoch everyone else..... no one will force you to."

Wolf

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"So I message a lady 7 months ago .

She replies positively , however busy . I message from time to time to say hi and ask if I'm still of interest yes it the constant reply but busy , have just sent another message and yes still want to meet but busy , had cheek to say she can't just drop everything for me .note I had not even suggested she should lol

now I had realised she has zero intention of meeting me months ago butI thought he see how long she would drag it along

she is not alone what is the purpose of such behaviour I wonder .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair "

It took two years after a social meet before I played with one man...and we live three miles apart!

Our work schedules, family etc conspirade against us. One Saturday morning my kids had all gone out, gave him a call, 10 minutes later his head was between my legs.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"So I message a lady 7 months ago .

She replies positively , however busy . I message from time to time to say hi and ask if I'm still of interest yes it the constant reply but busy , have just sent another message and yes still want to meet but busy , had cheek to say she can't just drop everything for me .note I had not even suggested she should lol

now I had realised she has zero intention of meeting me months ago butI thought he see how long she would drag it along

she is not alone what is the purpose of such behaviour I wonder .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair "

sometimes it genuinely happens it has takens months to meet up with people, or years in some cases.... I dont push it, it is genuinely because schedules have never aligned....

but I think the difference in my case and yours is that I consider those people to be friends... and that friendship for me isn't dependant on whether I sleep with them or not......

so if we finally get round to it.. then we get round to it, if we dont then we dont...

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"That's because they are in the driving seat!!!...but you got a good point!! "

I know that is the common perception that us girls are in the friving seat - supply and demand, market forces kind of thing. And while it is probably true that the number of single guys outweights the number of avalaible women several times over... I dont think it gives us women the right to string guys along and I for one would never deliberately do that.

We are not all like that - so my advice would be to keep trying with those that have nice profiles hinting at pleasant personalities? Best of luck

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"That's because they are in the driving seat!!!...but you got a good point!!

I know that is the common perception that us girls are in the friving seat - supply and demand, market forces kind of thing. And while it is probably true that the number of single guys outweights the number of avalaible women several times over... I dont think it gives us women the right to string guys along and I for one would never deliberately do that.

We are not all like that - so my advice would be to keep trying with those that have nice profiles hinting at pleasant personalities? Best of luck "

*driving" seat lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't do that sort of thing but with 2 jobs, planning a meet means I cannot do it at the drop of a hat so to some, it might seem that I am doing the same

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I wouldn't do that sort of thing but with 2 jobs, planning a meet means I cannot do it at the drop of a hat so to some, it might seem that I am doing the same "
I agree with you that sometimes the mere fact that we have busy lives outside fabs... may give the wrong impression and I would state right at the beginning that it may take some time to organise a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she was on her period, try again in a few days

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I personally dont see the point of protracted messages if you dont like the other person - ie looks etc.

Much prefer to talk and swop photos and take it from there.

Its true for some that meeting times are restricted and it can take a while i guess but if they say at least you know where you stand on the matter.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's taken us a long time to meet some guys due to work and othe commitments. I'm always honest when I reply to someone and it's their choice if they continue to chat to us. I don't expect them to sit around and wait for me to play so I don't see a problem remaining in contact and if and when we all free to meet we meet.

We have met guys who we played with then remained friends and in contact for over a year before meeting a second time.

I've been very ill over last year and actually had major surgery recently and I was very open about it on our profile and still we got guys messaging wanting to meet. I politely said to a few that I liked their profile but unfortunetly I cant play ATM and I will be busy once I can play. One wanted to remain friends and chat but within a few weeks got pissed cause I wouldn't drop everything and meet them. Now we are genuine and do meet but not on anyone's time scale.

Maybe she dragging you along or maybe she is just busy hard to say.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It took two years after a social meet before I played with one man...and we live three miles apart!

Our work schedules, family etc conspirade against us. One Saturday morning my kids had all gone out, gave him a call, 10 minutes later his head was between my legs. "

TWO YEARS!!! Bloody hell, he must have wheeled his balls in on a barrow!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I have no intention of meeting a gent, I would let him know the moment I realise that would be the case.

This could the moment I open his first message, or a few messages down the line, or after a cam session, etc. etc...

I could go cold within hours of the arranged time to meet this person, if something in his message/demeanour/behaviour/etc. causes my alarm bells to ring.

I do not like to string people along or play games.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

I could go cold within hours of the arranged time to meet this person, if something in his message/demeanour/behaviour/etc. causes my alarm bells to ring.

"

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am meeting someone I have known since I joined FAB over 3 years ago for the first time at the end of this month, and I can't wait!

We had every intention to meet 3 years ago, and I believe a meet was indeed arranged, before my circumstances changed. Then his circumstances changed etc. etc...

We kept in contact, and would ping a PM to each other from time to time to stay in touch.

We are finally able to meet and have some fun, and I can't wait!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and them the clock struck 12

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am meeting someone I have known since I joined FAB over 3 years ago for the first time at the end of this month, and I can't wait!

We had every intention to meet 3 years ago, and I believe a meet was indeed arranged, before my circumstances changed. Then his circumstances changed etc. etc...

We kept in contact, and would ping a PM to each other from time to time to stay in touch.

We are finally able to meet and have some fun, and I can't wait!

"

Personaly, I think the way you have set out this here thread about it ... Along with the title - kinda sucks!! As one man states, he spends time getting to know someone, when it happens, it happens... Maybe had u of gotten to know her a little you would of come to understand these busy times she was having!! Too many men think that they have a right to any woman they fancy, maybe she seen this lil beatch way you have handled this in something you have written to her and she hoped you would give up. The guys I speak to on here have been at their wits end with changes of circumstances, but the ones who care to have the right kind of fun with me, stick around, as one day things could change. You need to remember, to swingers, it is for life. Not just Christmas! Maybe just maybe, it is not for you..... but good luck anyways!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am meeting someone I have known since I joined FAB over 3 years ago for the first time at the end of this month, and I can't wait!

We had every intention to meet 3 years ago, and I believe a meet was indeed arranged, before my circumstances changed. Then his circumstances changed etc. etc...

We kept in contact, and would ping a PM to each other from time to time to stay in touch.

We are finally able to meet and have some fun, and I can't wait!

Personaly, I think the way you have set out this here thread about it ... Along with the title - kinda sucks!! As one man states, he spends time getting to know someone, when it happens, it happens... Maybe had u of gotten to know her a little you would of come to understand these busy times she was having!! Too many men think that they have a right to any woman they fancy, maybe she seen this lil beatch way you have handled this in something you have written to her and she hoped you would give up. The guys I speak to on here have been at their wits end with changes of circumstances, but the ones who care to have the right kind of fun with me, stick around, as one day things could change. You need to remember, to swingers, it is for life. Not just Christmas! Maybe just maybe, it is not for you..... but good luck anyways! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I message a lady 7 months ago .

She replies positively , however busy . I message from time to time to say hi and ask if I'm still of interest yes it the constant reply but busy , have just sent another message and yes still want to meet but busy , had cheek to say she can't just drop everything for me .note I had not even suggested she should lol

now I had realised she has zero intention of meeting me months ago butI thought he see how long she would drag it along

she is not alone what is the purpose of such behaviour I wonder .and before the torrent of get over it , I'm not under it however the behaviour of these women affects how one approaches other genuine ladies which is not fair "

but you could say that the other way round

I get lots of abuse off men i say no thanks to so now i dont say no thanks i tend to either not reply ot tell them im to busy to meet

Manybe this lady has had the same so the bad guys have made her feal weary about the good guys and because so many get rude when you say no thanks it puts you off giving a polite im not interested reply

but then her weariness and reluctance to be honest is making her look like a bad one and because shes not being honest its putting you off mailing the good ones

its a knock on effect and no its not fair to either side but its just how it is on here

thats only one theory mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a few guys I've said I'll meet when I can. Some of them have waited 5 or 6 weeks so far, maybe more.

I genuinely intend to meet them. I genuinely have not been able to yet.

If I mean 'no thanks' then that's what I say. If I say yes but I don't have time at the moment, that's what I mean.

If I delete without replying but without blocking that means feel free to try again but please make more of an effort.

If I delete and block that means maybe don't try the same approach with other women.

I think that's pretty clear.

I get messages from at least one person (and often more) I'd like to meet to see how we get on every day. I am lucky if I can manage one meet per week at the moment. What do I do? Agree to meets I know I don't have time for? Say no to people I do want to meet? Or tell the truth and say yes, I'd like to meet but I don't have time now, and hope we connect at a time convenient for both of us in the future?

I don't think ego comes into it. Not on the part of the woman anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got a few guys I've said I'll meet when I can. Some of them have waited 5 or 6 weeks so far, maybe more.

I genuinely intend to meet them. I genuinely have not been able to yet.

If I mean 'no thanks' then that's what I say. If I say yes but I don't have time at the moment, that's what I mean.

If I delete without replying but without blocking that means feel free to try again but please make more of an effort.

If I delete and block that means maybe don't try the same approach with other women.

I think that's pretty clear.

I get messages from at least one person (and often more) I'd like to meet to see how we get on every day. I am lucky if I can manage one meet per week at the moment. What do I do? Agree to meets I know I don't have time for? Say no to people I do want to meet? Or tell the truth and say yes, I'd like to meet but I don't have time now, and hope we connect at a time convenient for both of us in the future?

I don't think ego comes into it. Not on the part of the woman anyway."

Agree as with me having 2 jobs, I cannot often meet the same week so can be weeks before I am able to, least I have all weekend now though often some men have their children then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been talking to some guys for months, people we would like to meet, not stringing them along at all.

As said above busy schedules, holidays , right time of the month etc can all make it difficult to arrange meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i left another adult site for the same reason,most single women were just there to be flattered and have their ego boosted and there are quite a few women on here who do not have the courtesy to reply yes/no thanks as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have looked at this thread with great interest and has put a smile on my face

1st lots of of people are to busy in there lives so why push for as meet when clearly they are busy

2nd if they are pushy just by emails ,pm or cam what will they be like on a real meet

i bet there has been countless times you think coooor want to meet them and when you do they could be horrid and you say no thanks i have been there done that for countless reasons

at the end of the day we are all adults and all up for fun but there has to be a attraction there

this is the best thread i have seen in a long time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"pass her on to me and ill have a crack "

At least you might find out if it was stringing you along if she ends up meeting someone else within days! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am meeting someone I have known since I joined FAB over 3 years ago for the first time at the end of this month, and I can't wait!

We had every intention to meet 3 years ago, and I believe a meet was indeed arranged, before my circumstances changed. Then his circumstances changed etc. etc...

We kept in contact, and would ping a PM to each other from time to time to stay in touch.

We are finally able to meet and have some fun, and I can't wait!

"

We finally meeting then? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"pass her on to me and ill have a crack That's funny "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/09/12 09:40:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

1st lots of of people are to busy in there lives so why push for as meet when clearly they are busy

)"

We never push for meets, people approach us, and if we get on then yes we want to meet.

But we have a life away from swinging as do many others.

So if said person/people are not free at the same time as you are, then planning is required, even if that means ages to wait!

Some things are worth waiting for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i have looked at this thread with great interest and has put a smile on my face

1st lots of of people are to busy in there lives so why push for as meet when clearly they are busy

2nd if they are pushy just by emails ,pm or cam what will they be like on a real meet

i bet there has been countless times you think coooor want to meet them and when you do they could be horrid and you say no thanks i have been there done that for countless reasons

at the end of the day we are all adults and all up for fun but there has to be a attraction there

this is the best thread i have seen in a long time "
*her*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may well be just busy mate.

I've had ladies I don't get to meet for a year or so, though I hasten to add its usually down to my hectic life not theirs as 60 to 70 hours a week at work, then other meets I have planned and the time spent in the company of brothers, sisters, parents and friends in the real world do mean a decent meet is usually arranged some time later unless by good fortune I happen to be free and in their area when they wish me to pleasure them.

It can be a good thing as a lot of ladies are less impulsive than men and adore getting to know a person over a long period before meeting due to a love of a strong intimate bond and their consideration for their own safety.

Personally I don't worry about a length of time for a meet to take place as I can be having other meets in the meantime.

Every cloud!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Maybe she is just busy! We have chatting to some people for a while and plan to meet up with them at some point. Life has just been difficult for us over the last few months and has dealt us some curve balls making it more tricky than usual to organise things.

Perhaps it is the same for her

If we don't want to meet someone or change our minds after chatting for a bit then we tend just to be honest and say so.

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