FabSwingers.com forum: Can't accommodate

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hiya

My kids live with me they are teens so I cant accommodate does tha fact that I can't accommodate put couples and ladies off meeting. What are the alternatives. I am happy to pay for hotels etc I just feel frustrated as I have a lovely home but it's so complicated with explaining to the kids

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It should never be expected that someone can accommodate and it should never be assumed that people lie about their circumstances. The best alternative is to go halves on a hotel. Your accommodation is your privacy and it should be entirely your choice whether you have people round or not. Don't let anyone dictate to you.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

No its the modern world and people have lives and families... those who are genuine will understand that you find it hard to accommodate.. Offering to pay for a hotel room is a very noble thing to do...

Good luck x

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

It will put some people off...

It won't matter to others...

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

We're a MM couple, we don't never, ever accom, willing to pay for hotel, or travel within reason.

The end of the day, it's no one's business why one can't accom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can accom, when I can, my choice...just like anyone elses...besides..i stay with my dad...and am not havin him around my meet times lol-no offers pls...its just sick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No what puts me off some is the fact that they don't say why on their profile especially when it doesn't say single.

As to explaining to your kids, you shouldn't have to, I don't have anyone in my home as my son occasionally lives with me but he and my daughter both have keys, god forbid I was entertaining and they popped round

lovely home or not, its a family home and I prefer to keep it separate from swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't bother me at all if someone can accomodate or not. I would never go to someone's home unless I knew them very well. Not my thing at all.

I don't accomodate and I don't state my reasons either. If people don't like it they can easily find someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have an issue with people who can't accom it can be resolved, what is annoying is when people say they can but then it turns out there's always a reason why they can't, it takes seconds to amend a profile so why don't they do it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't bother us if someone can't accomedate. Though we usually prefer ones that can because we don't.

The fact you are willing to pay for hotel should help cause in a way you are accomedating just not at your house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rightly or wrongly a lot of couples read can't accomodate as married or attached as there are a lot of married men on here. Seeing if they can accomodate is a lazy but effective way of identifying them but it does also exclude men who are single but have other reasons (kids is a good example).

As one poster suggested I would say you have kids therefore can't accomodate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hiya. My kids live with me they are teens so I cant accommodate does tha fact that I can't accommodate put couples and ladies off meeting. What are the alternatives. I am happy to pay for hotels etc I just feel frustrated as I have a lovely home but it's so complicated with explaining to the kids

Xxx"

Doesn't put us off, but... as I keep saying on here.... if you are advertising yourself as a SINGLE male and you can't accommodate, you have GOT to be prepared to justify why you can't (i.e. have you really got one of those strange things called a Wife at home and you're being e naughty boy and not telling her what you're up to...?) You seem to have a legitimate reason why you can't and you should not be afraid to state why in your profile - it won't put people off, but it WILL tell them that you have recognised the problem and addressed it head-on... which is good.

Basically, why put an obstacle in the way of you getting meets when it can so easily be dealt with...???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had the same problem when we started swinging again it cost us a bloody fortune to travel (£500 for a weekend away in london). it's been so much easier since our kids were told we swing now they get out of the way and are happy that we are happy in what we are doing, matbe thats the way to go or you'll just have to keep paying the cost for your enjoyment

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I live with my adult children and can accommodate with military planning

. Sometimes my kids change their plans so playmates that can accommodate are a must for me as I don't meet in hotels.

After being told by one charmer he would never meet people in his house (he was in my bed at the time)

I no longer meet those that won't entertain me in their home regardless of the circumstances.

We all have choices. I don't understand why people focus on those outwith their criteria for whatever reason rather than than those that are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said no one bats an eyelid if a woman or couple can't accommodate where as for a man, rightly or wrongly if you can't accommodate then you need to justify it and if you use the word discrete in your profile then you are clearly an adulterer!

I can tell you for a fact though that being able to accommodate does massively increase your success rate on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am part of the "cant accommodate club" as well. I have a lodger and would not want him to hear what i get up to, with my paper walls. it is a private side of my life. It could sound a pretty lame reason, but is genuine,

Is the general consensus to add this to the profile?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I am part of the "cant accommodate club" as well. I have a lodger and would not want him to hear what i get up to, with my paper walls. it is a private side of my life. It could sound a pretty lame reason, but is genuine,

Is the general consensus to add this to the profile? "

Personal choice, add what you feel comfortable with. It will make a difference to some and not others.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

On the one hand I appreciate it is all down to personal choice and the fact we all have different lives.

However, I do not wish to meet:

People who have the attitude of "I don't shit on my own doorstep, so I expect to come to your home"

People who don't accom because they are cheating.

As it is often difficult to seperate these people from those who have other understandable reasons, I tend to avoid people who don't accom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not accommodate for my own reason and have stated why in my profile.

If someone who cannot accommodate catches my eyes, I would try my best to find out within the first couple of messages the reason(s) why he can't, and to determine if the reason(s) are genuine.

I usually avoid anyone who cannot accommodate when combined with certain words or phrases in their profiles.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Justify myself on here, like fuck I would...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Justify myself on here, like fuck I would...

I wouldn't ask anyone to justify themselves on here, just that if you put you can accom, it helps if you actually do (not accusing you of that)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the general consensus to add this to the profile? "

Your choice entirely, but if a single guy has the justification in his profile, then it shows he has given what he is doing on here some thought - and that earns brownie points ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Justify myself on here, like fuck I would...

Totally feel same way.

Why does it make some happier if you give a reason? Just cause a guy says I can't accomedate cause I have a lodger or I have kids at home doesn't mean they telling truth. They still could be married and you would never know just based on ther reason for not accommodating. Might make you feel better but if they going to lie to their other half why wouldn't they lie about why they can't accommodate.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Justify myself on here, like fuck I would...

I wouldn't ask anyone to justify themselves on here, just that if you put you can accom, it helps if you actually do (not accusing you of that)"

I would write to people who match what I am looking for in a very honest fashion, I would do my best to establish a trust based conversation with them...a social meet in a coffee shop and I am a good enough judge of character to be able to know if someone is lying ( not always but mostly ) if it led to a possible meet and they asked to come to mine of a certain day and for whatever reason I couldn't accom that day... i would say sorry i can't that day.

if it ends there, cool

if I had a meet arranged with a couple or female and they cancelled because their period came on, I wouldn't ask them to send the tampax through the post. I would take things at face value.

I am a single bi sexual man of 52 years of age who is looking to meet with others on a swingers site. I am honest and I respect others preferences without question.

Each to their own but I have integrity and self belief and I am not bowing and scraping to anyone on here in the hope they believe me to get sex.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 27/08/12 12:52:05]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Takegive.... not suggesting for one second you do.

apologies if that is the way the above reads...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hiya

Xxx"

I find not accommodating puts people off, i have many times started chatting to guys and seemed to get along and then when they ask if they can come here and i say no, my profile does say i dont accommodate they say things like, well i thought if we got on you would invite me and when i still say no thats the end of the conversation

But like you i have kids and im not having people back here, there are 3 clubs within a 10 min drive from my house if all else fails i'll just go to onme of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anyone has to justify themselves to anyone to be honest. People have their own reasons for doing or not doing things in the way they do, and it shouldn't be questioned. Nor should an absence of an explaining theorem be taken as someone neccessarily having something to hide.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It narrows down your options from say women or couples that also don't accomodate unless both parties don't mind going the hotel room way.

Might just limit you to those that can accomodate unless situation or timing changes say if the kids are sleeping over at mates' houses etc.

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