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"everyday and on lots of post you see guys saying all the idiot / bad guys are ruining it and there chances of meets.. well i have to say they are not if a guy is out of order or not liked ,pushy and so on hes ruining it for himself nobody else... the only people that ruin it are the people themselves .. so come on you guys who moan others are ruining it for you stop blaming others for your own failing its nobody else's fault bar your own.. us good guys blah blah blah the reason your not getting meets is down to two things ... you and the other is the sheer number of guys. everybody is responsible for themselves " It's the way of the jungle. I wonder what the percentage of men vs women are on here. Maybe each woman could adopt 10 men and those 10 guys get her undivided attention...... I'm joking btw!!  | |||
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"everyday and on lots of post you see guys saying all the idiot / bad guys are ruining it and there chances of meets.. well i have to say they are not if a guy is out of order or not liked ,pushy and so on hes ruining it for himself nobody else... the only people that ruin it are the people themselves .. so come on you guys who moan others are ruining it for you stop blaming others for your own failing its nobody else's fault bar your own.. us good guys blah blah blah the reason your not getting meets is down to two things ... you and the other is the sheer number of guys. everybody is responsible for themselves It's the way of the jungle. I wonder what the percentage of men vs women are on here. Maybe each woman could adopt 10 men and those 10 guys get her undivided attention...... I'm joking btw!! "going by my messages and who online daily i think it close to 50 guys to 1 fem but this is about guys blaming other guys for there not getting anywhere... | |||
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"their** " I'd say yeah easy 50 to 1 if not higher. Desperate men who don't get the spirit of the scene. It's nice to be wanted but not nice seeing guys so desperate they become abusive | |||
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"You usually find that the people claiming the idiots are ruining it for others are the same people who have to continuously remind us that they are genuine, nice or one of the good ones. If you feel the need to tell people you are all of the above or that you are a gentleman it's a good sign that you probably aren't. Good, genuine and nice gentlemen never have to remind anyone. Many "gents" seem to forget that sychophancy isn't a good trait and being a gent involves engaging with everyone equally and not just women while putting others down. "  | |||
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"You usually find that the people claiming the idiots are ruining it for others are the same people who have to continuously remind us that they are genuine, nice or one of the good ones. If you feel the need to tell people you are all of the above or that you are a gentleman it's a good sign that you probably aren't. Good, genuine and nice gentlemen never have to remind anyone. Many "gents" seem to forget that sychophancy isn't a good trait and being a gent involves engaging with everyone equally and not just women while putting others down. " Excellently put, sir! X | |||
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"You usually find that the people claiming the idiots are ruining it for others are the same people who have to continuously remind us that they are genuine, nice or one of the good ones. If you feel the need to tell people you are all of the above or that you are a gentleman it's a good sign that you probably aren't. Good, genuine and nice gentlemen never have to remind anyone. Many "gents" seem to forget that sychophancy isn't a good trait and being a gent involves engaging with everyone equally and not just women while putting others down. "  | |||
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"You usually find that the people claiming the idiots are ruining it for others are the same people who have to continuously remind us that they are genuine, nice or one of the good ones. If you feel the need to tell people you are all of the above or that you are a gentleman it's a good sign that you probably aren't. Good, genuine and nice gentlemen never have to remind anyone. Many "gents" seem to forget that sychophancy isn't a good trait and being a gent involves engaging with everyone equally and not just women while putting others down. " | |||
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"Totally agree OP, actually quite the opposite in our opinion, the genuine ones seem to stand out more. " and this is how i totally see it bad things make good things stand out in everything in life | |||
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"It is a bit of a poor excuse, however, there is some truth in it. Because soamy guys message without reading profiles, pester, harraas and are abusive, women can get a high volume of mail and low tolerance levels. We tighten our filters for quality control, we've "hears it all before" so can be less than enthusiastic towards them and sometimes won't even read their messages at all as we've received too many and really can't be arsed at that moment on time. I know I am particularly cautious of younger guys on here as so far, they've pretty much all been let downs. Once bitten twice shy." While I see the logic and to an extent agree - those women that do tighten their filters or are more cautious are still meeting and presumably finding the right guys for them, and there are plenty of guys who are perfectly happy with their experience of the site too, which kind of disproves the logic. I think it may make it harder for both men and women to find what they are looking for, but I don't think it ruins it as such. More often than not I find the "ruined it" phrase is rolled out as something to blame for a perceived lack of "success", rather than the person making the statement looking a little closer to home for the answers. | |||
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"everyday and on lots of post you see guys saying all the idiot / bad guys are ruining it and there chances of meets.. well i have to say they are not if a guy is out of order or not liked ,pushy and so on hes ruining it for himself nobody else... the only people that ruin it are the people themselves .. so come on you guys who moan others are ruining it for you stop blaming others for your own failing its nobody else's fault bar your own.. us good guys blah blah blah the reason your not getting meets is down to two things ... you and the other is the sheer number of guys. everybody is responsible for themselves " Absolutely agree… it is a kop out answer as it leaves them blameless and places all the ills of the world elsewhere…. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and ask “what can I do better?” Nobody answers for me, and I am a spokesperson for no one else! Everyone are masters of their own fate… | |||
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"Well as a Asian male I’ve heard loads of complaints about Asian men being rude and pushy so some of them do ruin it for some of us. It’s hard enough with all the stigma and stereotype going round then you get these weirdos that start demanding sex and when rejected they get abusive. Really this site should run a personality test before letting people join. " Asian men aren't ruining it, racists are. If people can dismiss a whole ethnicity based on the actions of some whilst not dismissing their own the for poor behaviour, then that's their prejudices doing the work. | |||
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"It is a bit of a poor excuse, however, there is some truth in it. Because soamy guys message without reading profiles, pester, harraas and are abusive, women can get a high volume of mail and low tolerance levels. We tighten our filters for quality control, we've "hears it all before" so can be less than enthusiastic towards them and sometimes won't even read their messages at all as we've received too many and really can't be arsed at that moment on time. I know I am particularly cautious of younger guys on here as so far, they've pretty much all been let downs. Once bitten twice shy. While I see the logic and to an extent agree - those women that do tighten their filters or are more cautious are still meeting and presumably finding the right guys for them, and there are plenty of guys who are perfectly happy with their experience of the site too, which kind of disproves the logic. I think it may make it harder for both men and women to find what they are looking for, but I don't think it ruins it as such. More often than not I find the "ruined it" phrase is rolled out as something to blame for a perceived lack of "success", rather than the person making the statement looking a little closer to home for the answers." Perhaps "ruin" is too strong a word but yes, certainly more difficult. Whilst filtering etc does sort some of the wheat from the chaff, it probably means that I've dismissed sone good ones as I'd just had enough that day. It's difficult enough when you're picky, live in Norfolk and becoming increasingly weary and cynical. | |||
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"I'm deffiently one of the guys ruining it for the other guys, because while the females and couples are meeting me there not meeting you " | |||
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"It is a bit of a poor excuse, however, there is some truth in it. Because soamy guys message without reading profiles, pester, harraas and are abusive, women can get a high volume of mail and low tolerance levels. We tighten our filters for quality control, we've "hears it all before" so can be less than enthusiastic towards them and sometimes won't even read their messages at all as we've received too many and really can't be arsed at that moment on time. I know I am particularly cautious of younger guys on here as so far, they've pretty much all been let downs. Once bitten twice shy. While I see the logic and to an extent agree - those women that do tighten their filters or are more cautious are still meeting and presumably finding the right guys for them, and there are plenty of guys who are perfectly happy with their experience of the site too, which kind of disproves the logic. I think it may make it harder for both men and women to find what they are looking for, but I don't think it ruins it as such. More often than not I find the "ruined it" phrase is rolled out as something to blame for a perceived lack of "success", rather than the person making the statement looking a little closer to home for the answers. Perhaps "ruin" is too strong a word but yes, certainly more difficult. Whilst filtering etc does sort some of the wheat from the chaff, it probably means that I've dismissed sone good ones as I'd just had enough that day. It's difficult enough when you're picky, live in Norfolk and becoming increasingly weary and cynical." Yes I can understand that, I'm sure you must feel it's like a battle wading through the amount of dumb and desperate messages you might get on here. For example I've sent well written to the point and informative messages to females and couples, especially when they request a meet, only for my message never to be read, guess they had enough of wading through to much chaff.  | |||
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"It is a bit of a poor excuse, however, there is some truth in it. Because soamy guys message without reading profiles, pester, harraas and are abusive, women can get a high volume of mail and low tolerance levels. We tighten our filters for quality control, we've "hears it all before" so can be less than enthusiastic towards them and sometimes won't even read their messages at all as we've received too many and really can't be arsed at that moment on time. I know I am particularly cautious of younger guys on here as so far, they've pretty much all been let downs. Once bitten twice shy. While I see the logic and to an extent agree - those women that do tighten their filters or are more cautious are still meeting and presumably finding the right guys for them, and there are plenty of guys who are perfectly happy with their experience of the site too, which kind of disproves the logic. I think it may make it harder for both men and women to find what they are looking for, but I don't think it ruins it as such. More often than not I find the "ruined it" phrase is rolled out as something to blame for a perceived lack of "success", rather than the person making the statement looking a little closer to home for the answers. Perhaps "ruin" is too strong a word but yes, certainly more difficult. Whilst filtering etc does sort some of the wheat from the chaff, it probably means that I've dismissed sone good ones as I'd just had enough that day. It's difficult enough when you're picky, live in Norfolk and becoming increasingly weary and cynical. Yes I can understand that, I'm sure you must feel it's like a battle wading through the amount of dumb and desperate messages you might get on here. For example I've sent well written to the point and informative messages to females and couples, especially when they request a meet, only for my message never to be read, guess they had enough of wading through to much chaff. "you can read a message and then unread maybe they looked and thought no and rather than risk someone being abusive for saying no thanks just left it or deleted it as unread .. | |||
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"It is a bit of a poor excuse, however, there is some truth in it. Because soamy guys message without reading profiles, pester, harraas and are abusive, women can get a high volume of mail and low tolerance levels. We tighten our filters for quality control, we've "hears it all before" so can be less than enthusiastic towards them and sometimes won't even read their messages at all as we've received too many and really can't be arsed at that moment on time. I know I am particularly cautious of younger guys on here as so far, they've pretty much all been let downs. Once bitten twice shy. While I see the logic and to an extent agree - those women that do tighten their filters or are more cautious are still meeting and presumably finding the right guys for them, and there are plenty of guys who are perfectly happy with their experience of the site too, which kind of disproves the logic. I think it may make it harder for both men and women to find what they are looking for, but I don't think it ruins it as such. More often than not I find the "ruined it" phrase is rolled out as something to blame for a perceived lack of "success", rather than the person making the statement looking a little closer to home for the answers. Perhaps "ruin" is too strong a word but yes, certainly more difficult. Whilst filtering etc does sort some of the wheat from the chaff, it probably means that I've dismissed sone good ones as I'd just had enough that day. It's difficult enough when you're picky, live in Norfolk and becoming increasingly weary and cynical." being picky makes it easier as you know what you like and what you dont | |||
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" Perhaps "ruin" is too strong a word but yes, certainly more difficult. Whilst filtering etc does sort some of the wheat from the chaff, it probably means that I've dismissed sone good ones as I'd just had enough that day. It's difficult enough when you're picky, live in Norfolk and becoming increasingly weary and cynical." The key word there being "some" - ultimately the key is whether an individual is happy with their experience of the site or not, man or woman - in your instance you don't know what you might have missed, but do know what you have found, and can only decide your experience based on that - for the guys that "get" the site and how it works they decide based on theirs. As for Norfolk, though I live there I've been off the radar for a while so can't answer that one from a blokes perspective  | |||
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"On the back of the thread that complained about the increase in time wasters and this thread, I would make a few comments. Being a nice person and acting in accordance with the rules of civility is no guarantee of a meet or sex. Humans are amazingly contrary as to how they act, their choices and behaviours. So there are no guarantees. I also think behaviour by single men put couples and single women off. Some years ago at Abfabs having saved a couple from a pack of single men who would not respect their space. The couple explained to me that the mob behaviour was the reason that they had not been to the club for a while and would not be back. Whereas if the mob had behaved a few may have got to play. I have witnessed similar behaviour from wandering hands in jacuzzis to inappropriate behaviour in rooms, and the general grief on Fab that have caused couples and single women to leave the scene. Swinging is not for the faint hearted. I would add that there is poor behaviour by both couples and single, women in clubs and on Fab, but men have to suck it up and not appear to be "whiny and wet". Swinging is like panning for gold, Some people can do everything right and get nothing. Some people find gold quite quickly, and then have a dry streak. Others regularly find gold. But you have to be in it to win it." | |||
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