FabSwingers.com forum: BDSM for beginners

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all….

A new partner of mine has shown a keen interest in being sub and the spark of being Dom has been well and truly lit.

Does anyone have any tips for beginners? Or is someone cool with messaging and sharing tips, pointers etc

Thanks all

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Read a few books together. We usually recommend "Screw The Roses Send Me The Tnorns" but there are others.

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By *reakbedsnotheartsMan
over a year ago

bedford

Thanks for the advice

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You need to figure out what you both want.

Research, research, research.

Go slow and make sure you consider physical and mental health

Look up SSC RACK PRICK

Find a local munch and go along.

Join the other site more aimed at kink and BDSM.

There are lots of resources out there

Ignore any top 100 lists for Doms/subs

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By *eviant_domMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

The loving dominant is a good read as is SM 101.

Keep communication open, discuss what you both enjoy and want to get from dynamic. If something is out of your depth, be honest, but say you'd like to explore it if it actually does interests you.

Operate with safe words (traffic light system is easiest).

Set clear boundaries and expectations before you play, not negotiating mid fun, as this can kill mood a bit, but also when things can go wrong.

Feel free to DM or post questions here

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Read a few books together. We usually recommend "Screw The Roses Send Me The Tnorns" but there are others.

Great book, however (sorry mods) there is site that has a forum written by submissive people (no dominants allowed) which has no lamppost pissing)

Read that forum dismiss the rest (personal perspective) of American sitebl and come back to fab.

Oh and don’t forget to have fun.

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By *antric ecstasyMan
over a year ago

Co Durham

Remember that being a dom is not the same as being a bully. You don't need to posture, to shout and strut or to conform to a stereotype - you just have to lead. Appreciate your sub's submission and make sure you give as well as take. See what others are doing and think about what elements will work for you. The bondage master, Esinem, is worth a look - control with passion and care.

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

First things first, I hope you both enjoying the D/s dynamic. It can be incredibly enjoyable and can benefit all parties.

Secondly it is good to see you are reaching out for advice and help. No-one knows it all and we all learn something new every day.

My advice would be to read everything you can get on the subject. There are other sites but they are not without their downsides. Take everything you read on forums with a pinch of salt.

Respect is paramount and your partner's submission is a gift to be treasured. Communication is key for you both to be able to stay safe and get what you are both looking for as you explore the scene.

Safety should always be at the forefront of your mind and seek advice if you are thinking of trying any activities that carry risks. Always have a safe word system (we use the traffic light system as it is easy o remember).

Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions. Stay safe, enjoy your exploration together and you are both going to enjoy the ride.

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