FabSwingers.com forum: Deleting mail once read

By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Ok this is basically when chatting with someone and once they have read the mail you sent and replied they delete the first message then delete the 2nd message when onto the latest message from the same person. So in theory there is only ever 1 message at atime in their inbox from me tho we may have both sent and received many messages to each other.

Now I find this curious. If we are discussing a meet and all is going fine but I can see each message is being deleted afterwards it makes me wonder why.

I have been told its to keep uptodate in their received box and sent box. It makes me worry if they are truely single and deleting at they go on to hide any evidence. Or wether they do only like the most latest message in their box.

Now I know they do caus they can but I know for me I delete all mail from a person once I have decided its going no further but am curious if others do this or why.

I dont want to meet those that have a significant other so I try to be careful.

I have no partner to get upset seeing my mail. I do have kids but they dont know my.name or password.

Love to hear others thoughts please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your theory could be right but also if they're messaging several people it can be difficult to keep track so delete every thing.

I quite often check with the hubby that he's read everything and then I do a mass delete

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If \i am messaging someone then I tend to often use the save button now so I can read the last messages from them to me to keep track if chatting with a few other single men.

Its the single men I am referring to tho.

I just wonder and think are they deleting them to make sure their tracks are covered so if the wife or girlfriend stumbles on the profile evidence is gone. Dont like to think its that but it makes me wonder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We delete messages once we have read and replied to them. Sometimes I get lazy and have a mass delete but I try to keep on top of it. I keep any message that has certain details I might need later like numbers or email addresses.

Could be he is just being tidy. But if you have are suspecious I would tread carefully. Has he given you any other reason to not trust him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi...if they reply to you straight after yours does the other messages not appear below..so you can see all other mail they have sent you? On my mail it does hence deleting other messages from inbox as no need to keep them. Does that make sense

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Mercedes, its actually a couple of people I have spoken to that have done it. Its just that as soon as they had read the mail and responded it was instantly deleted as if covering their tracks.

It seemed very purposefully. It may not be on both counts and dont know either of the guys well enough aside from a decnt handful of messages on site to know if they are hiding something.

I know another guy who was speaking to and asked him direct if he had a significant other and he said no. I then spoke to a friend and they did say that they thought he had a wife or long time girlfriend. Now deciding wether to just avoid that one in particular but the others that are deleters lol.

I am sure once I meet them if we both decide to I can see how my radar is working lol

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Yes the last message they have sent me is still below but I can see a line through it showing they have deleted the mail.

If they have it on saved mail I think it does still show all the messages but then I guess I would have to do it myself to someone and then tell me if my messages show up still on their history list.....am now confusing myself lol.

I may just keep my cheating radar open and trust my instincts x

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I delete all mail as soon as I've replied...

The entire conversation shows below my latest sent message if I wanted to go back and check something, so don't see any need to clog up my inbox, so sound quite normal to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes the last message they have sent me is still below but I can see a line through it showing they have deleted the mail.

I may just keep my cheating radar open and trust my instincts x"

hi you should be able to see the message thread before you open up the message fully, but you could be right, he might be hiding something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read and delete. Why? Because I always have, it's what I do with email also. Perhaps people should let others do as they wish, also keep their paranoia under control as it tends to spread in crowds!

I swing, my husband swings! We both have mails that would curl hair. Is the OP suggesting we have something to hide? Or should everyone who does not do as he does tender their apologies and explanations!

You see how ridiculous it gets!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read and delete. Why? Because I always have, it's what I do with email also. Perhaps people should let others do as they wish, also keep their paranoia under control as it tends to spread in crowds!

You see how ridiculous it gets!"

hi i dont think the OP is suggesting that at all, and btw , you delete your emails, but have some that would curl our hair, a bit of a contradiction lol , and the OP is a her not a him lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i delete nearly all the mail i get and send.

because if they want to meet me they will get back in touch.

if they dont, well whats to worry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi i dont think the OP is suggesting that at all, and btw , you delete your emails, but have some that would curl our hair, a bit of a contradiction lol , and the OP is a her not a him lol

I beg your pardon! Jesus you have to choose words carefully on here.....

We RECEIVE mails that would curl your hair.

And the OP's gender was not that important so I didn't bother to double check!

Oh! I took the trouble to spell check "receive" I hope you feel more comfortable now!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If they are a site supporter they will keep the entire message thread under one message. I always delete older messages as I only need the latest one to have the whole conversation. On the other hand, admin sometimes deletes the old messages so it's best to save one or two, then delete.

Sometimes it's not people being sneaky. Sometimes they have a bona fide reason to delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i delete nearly all the mail i get and send.

because if they want to meet me they will get back in touch.

if they dont, well whats to worry?"

Same here, just keep the ones with contact details. Otherwise the mailboxes end up getting swamped!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont usually delete my mail everyday i do it about once a week to keep my inbox down. Not sure why you would think it strange, they have replied to you. Some keep messages and some dont, to be honest i dont go check if theyve deleted my mail or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez-0, some people just over-scrutinize *everything*, it kinda takes the fun outta this place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't read too much into it...unless you've suspicions about other aspects of them. You seem quite happy to keep the conversation going by the sounds of it so you can't b too bothered by it.

I know quite a few people who do that, some because they have a ton of messages, some because they might be having a conversation with a few people at the same time and they want to keep there inbox simple.

Sounds like you're having a good conversation so just enjoy it for what it is and don't worry too much about motives.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Gosh wasnt expecting such uproar lol.

Thanks to all that posted.

My point was that I found it strange that they would delete the mail immediately after replying and wasnt meaning once a day deleting or once a week but as soon as its been sent or received its gone.

I also end up with a tonne of messages and always delete the ones that come in that are no interest to me once I have read them. But I dont do the same for mail that I send.

Hence why my curiosity about it. I wasnt referring to a couples reading or sending messages and then deleting but a single person.

My normal email for general life does get filled up with mail but once a week I guess i go through it and move certain ones to folders and delete the rubbish but the rest of the emails I leave on there so would never have only a few emails left. I better go through and delete the sent box as dont often do that either.

Will see how conversation progresses and find my way.

Thanks for all the advice and opinions x

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I read and delete within a minute

Same for most of the people I exchange with

If someone send me a message with a very important info I.e address or place to meet or contact number, I save it and can go back to it when need. Same for messages with attached pictures

That doesn't mean I have something to hide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have came across this i send a message they reply , then i send another then mail deleted , i just delete everything and block , dont see the point in trying to have a conversation , can understand if its a weekly or daily thing and dont mind that but if its happening in the space of an hour i just asume they not interested .

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"I have came across this i send a message they reply , then i send another then mail deleted , i just delete everything and block , dont see the point in trying to have a conversation , can understand if its a weekly or daily thing and dont mind that but if its happening in the space of an hour i just asume they not interested .

You got it wrong

We are talking about reading some messages, reply to them then delete after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete all mail as soon as I've replied...

The entire conversation shows below my latest sent message if I wanted to go back and check something, so don't see any need to clog up my inbox, so sound quite normal to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always clear messages except the last one... Keeps the box tidy and you can always see the messages exchanged earlier below the most recient one... Just a bit of OCD on my part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be interested with the person rather than their mail,etc

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Thanks to all for your info. I guess I am one of those that does a mass delete every so often and others are a delete straight away.

Even after swinging some years we still learn about others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes the last message they have sent me is still below but I can see a line through it showing they have deleted the mail.

I may just keep my cheating radar open and trust my instincts x"

Once read and replied to, we delete messages simply because our inbox would become far too unwieldy! In any case, you don't lose information so long as you dont start a new message thread each time as the whole of the thread is visible below the latest message when you open it up.

My guess is these two people you are talking ahbout have actually learned how to use the site effectively and that's why they read, reply then delete your last message as there is no need to keep it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In any conversation, I only keep the latest message in my In and Sent boxes, for me it just keeps things tidy!

Occasionally I get caught out and would like to refer to an earlier message, but that's only very occasionally!!

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By *reespiritedwomanWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

Definitely keeping things tidy! At work it is drummed into us to do this as it slows the sytem down,,,the habit stays with you.

Some people take it really badly, but it doesn't mean anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm not a site supporter, but i delete messages as soon as i've replied to them. nothing sinister in it at all, just the way i deal with my inbox

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I must be one of those delete every so often people and the people I was referring to alongside many others are delete once read or sent people.

Its amazing after years of this lifestyle that I learnt this now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete as i go along leaving always one as we are a gold site supporter we have a message thread...so the whole message is there to go back on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never really paid attention to guys deleting my messages before this thread but can see what you mean.

My alarm bells usually start ringing if a guy won't txt or very nervous about when I can and can't txt or if his txt stop on nights and weekends. Though I know these are not 100% signs of dishonest guys it's just when I start to question things but more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never really paid attention to guys deleting my messages before this thread but can see what you mean.

Actually, you ARE onto something here, and it's all down to patterns of behaviour. A married guy will 'usually' be at home after about 6-7pm weekday evenings, and have the wife and kids around at weekends, so he ain't gonna be able to text or email freely is he....??

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

That is the cynic in me agreeing with you both, and there are those that are like that. I do pay attention to warning signals like that and thats why seeing the deleted mail litterally as soon as its sent or read made me wonder.

This thread shows clearly that others delete mail as quick on a regular basis.

I shall be mindeful of those that do just delete on a quick basis and those that do to also hide info.

Makes you wonder tho x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm terrible for deleting mail, both here, personal and at work. i keep everything just incase i need to refer back to it

but i do know a lot of people that message me that will delete the previous one. and can kind of understand it from a fems point of view as they can get quite a few replies so need to trim it down every so often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not everyone deletes their e-mails once read, I certainly don't.

And I seldom check if my sent messages have been read either.

Does not bother me what others do to be honest.

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