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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man?" Absolutely nothing, OP - there is nothing wrong with a bigger guy - if anything I really quite like guys who are a bit on the portly side. But then I will add, for me it is the personality, their ability to have a conversation beyond fabs and a sense of humour. And... I do not believe I am the only woman on here who likes a chunky hunk. | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man?" there still has to be an attraction ?? | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? Absolutely nothing, OP - there is nothing wrong with a bigger guy - if anything I really quite like guys who are a bit on the portly side. But then I will add, for me it is the personality, their ability to have a conversation beyond fabs and a sense of humour. And... I do not believe I am the only woman on here who likes a chunky hunk. " A chunky hunk, I like that saying lol. Like I said personality is a major factor, as is looking and smelling good. Which me personally I always like to do. It just feels, when looking at certain profiles, there seems to be a stigma attached to been a bigger male. | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? Absolutely nothing, OP - there is nothing wrong with a bigger guy - if anything I really quite like guys who are a bit on the portly side. But then I will add, for me it is the personality, their ability to have a conversation beyond fabs and a sense of humour. And... I do not believe I am the only woman on here who likes a chunky hunk. A chunky hunk, I like that saying lol. Like I said personality is a major factor, as is looking and smelling good. Which me personally I always like to do. It just feels, when looking at certain profiles, there seems to be a stigma attached to been a bigger male. " I could say the same about some profiles that state a requirement to be a certain shape/ size. I thin a better way to look at this is to is to be confident in your personality, the efforts you make to smell nice etc. and in meeting those who do not specify they want a slim guy? | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? there still has to be an attraction ??" But Surley an attraction can be formed with conversation. Not just pictures. I mean if you meet to have fun with someone, then ain't you going to want some form of conversation before you meet, during and after. Isn't it all about seducing the mind first, isn't that done with conversation? | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? Absolutely nothing, OP - there is nothing wrong with a bigger guy - if anything I really quite like guys who are a bit on the portly side. But then I will add, for me it is the personality, their ability to have a conversation beyond fabs and a sense of humour. And... I do not believe I am the only woman on here who likes a chunky hunk. A chunky hunk, I like that saying lol. Like I said personality is a major factor, as is looking and smelling good. Which me personally I always like to do. It just feels, when looking at certain profiles, there seems to be a stigma attached to been a bigger male. I could say the same about some profiles that state a requirement to be a certain shape/ size. I thin a better way to look at this is to is to be confident in your personality, the efforts you make to smell nice etc. and in meeting those who do not specify they want a slim guy? " emphasised Agreed. I'm aiming this as obviously an open conversation. But if I'm going to go personally about myself. I always, like to look and smell good and believe that seduction starts in the mind and with great conversation. But hey, I'm an aries with a fiesty personality so I love good conversation. | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? there still has to be an attraction ?? But Surley an attraction can be formed with conversation. Not just pictures. I mean if you meet to have fun with someone, then ain't you going to want some form of conversation before you meet, during and after. Isn't it all about seducing the mind first, isn't that done with conversation? " nope sorry the first thing that draws to a chat is attraction first but thats not the only thing.... im not going to jump into bed with someone i dont feel attracted to nope never | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? there still has to be an attraction ?? But Surley an attraction can be formed with conversation. Not just pictures. I mean if you meet to have fun with someone, then ain't you going to want some form of conversation before you meet, during and after. Isn't it all about seducing the mind first, isn't that done with conversation? nope sorry the first thing that draws to a chat is attraction first but thats not the only thing.... im not going to jump into bed with someone i dont feel attracted to nope never" and just to say my hubs is a 6ft4 chunky guy who i fell for very quickly years ago and still fancy the pants off him today | |||
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"See I'm mean it's an open opinion. I'm quite happy in myself, so. I'm not aiming it to be about myself. However the general observation, from a male perspective, when clicking on profiles is in the write ups it normal says... No fat or overweight men. I remember reading one that said 'fat or overweight, don't even bother, I mean why would I'... I remember thinking... Really... Anyway in respect of speaking for myself, some messages on here can be right nasty. I remember posting a picture and had a male, yes male message me and say...'i ought to kill myself'... Then I've also had a message from a couple saying 'absolutely disgusting, just cancel your profile'... Preference on looks is down to the person I know, but that's why I like these forum posts as it brings the people who are more appricitive of the bigger male to the forefront. " if someone puts No fat or overweight men then thats there choice tho i dont agree with that being put on a profile ...op you say your happy with yourself but this is not the first time you posted this question ?? just use them profiles as a filter if i see a profile i dont like or a status i block and move on | |||
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"See I'm mean it's an open opinion. I'm quite happy in myself, so. I'm not aiming it to be about myself. However the general observation, from a male perspective, when clicking on profiles is in the write ups it normal says... No fat or overweight men. I remember reading one that said 'fat or overweight, don't even bother, I mean why would I'... I remember thinking... Really... Anyway in respect of speaking for myself, some messages on here can be right nasty. I remember posting a picture and had a male, yes male message me and say...'i ought to kill myself'... Then I've also had a message from a couple saying 'absolutely disgusting, just cancel your profile'... Preference on looks is down to the person I know, but that's why I like these forum posts as it brings the people who are more appricitive of the bigger male to the forefront. if someone puts No fat or overweight men then thats there choice tho i dont agree with that being put on a profile ...op you say your happy with yourself but this is not the first time you posted this question ?? just use them profiles as a filter if i see a profile i dont like or a status i block and move on " I 100% do, do that now. But when I was a very new member it was a little different. As for regards to if I'm happy myself and my previous post. This post is in regards to the way it's portrayed on some people's profiles. The other post was the way bigger men are portrayed in general. Kinda the same rounded box subject, portrayed with a different outlook. | |||
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"Big guy here but having no luck " Join the other thousands of guys who also arent having any luck,dont forget being on fab doesnt garenty a shag, if you cant in real life you probably wont in here, my best advice is get yourself along to some socials and meet people, or try a club, they are starting to open now | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man?" Attraction is everything. Some people may be interested, others not. Simple really. | |||
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"Attraction may be everything. But how can you form an attraction on just a picture, Surley it's impossible for if you want to meet someone. I mean regardless if thus bloke is a big guy. He could have the most amazing personality and charm you pants off. But isn't looked at twice because he's judged on a picture. " no attraction is the first thing you look for its a simple fact of life but to say attraction only then no ive met guys who look fantastic but have the personality of a brick there are several factors to picking a meet its different than finding a life partner but still needs attraction nobody is going to go with someone they dont visually like ... when i go to work there are some people who are funny as fuck but ill not sleep with then as they dont attract...i think the problem is you see attraction as fit guys only so its not us women its you and your perception of things and attraction | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man?" This is the 2nd post I've seen you make on a similar topic. There's two things you need to know. It's not only bigger guys struggling, like anything some people dig it and some people don't. A little advice if you don't mind me chipping in and to be clear I mean this in the best possible way. But stop focusing on the things you think are holding you back and start focusing on what you have to offer people as it comes across as infinitely more attractive than woe is me posts. I'm a bigger guy and I'm not saying I'm killing it on here but I get chance to chat with loads of great people, some of it leads somewhere but a lot of it doesn't and that's okay. I wish you the best of luck either way | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man? This is the 2nd post I've seen you make on a similar topic. There's two things you need to know. It's not only bigger guys struggling, like anything some people dig it and some people don't. A little advice if you don't mind me chipping in and to be clear I mean this in the best possible way. But stop focusing on the things you think are holding you back and start focusing on what you have to offer people as it comes across as infinitely more attractive than woe is me posts. I'm a bigger guy and I'm not saying I'm killing it on here but I get chance to chat with loads of great people, some of it leads somewhere but a lot of it doesn't and that's okay. I wish you the best of luck either way " very good advice ...nearly all guys struggle on here | |||
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"Attraction may be everything. But how can you form an attraction on just a picture, Surley it's impossible for if you want to meet someone. I mean regardless if thus bloke is a big guy. He could have the most amazing personality and charm you pants off. But isn't looked at twice because he's judged on a picture. no attraction is the first thing you look for its a simple fact of life but to say attraction only then no ive met guys who look fantastic but have the personality of a brick there are several factors to picking a meet its different than finding a life partner but still needs attraction nobody is going to go with someone they dont visually like ... when i go to work there are some people who are funny as fuck but ill not sleep with then as they dont attract...i think the problem is you see attraction as fit guys only so its not us women its you and your perception of things and attraction" I have to totally disagree with you. I work in an industry that puts all types of people together and I've seen, so called people who say 'he or she is not there type' fall for somebody souley based on there personality. I don't see attraction as got guys only either. That's why I posed the question.. What is the off put of big guys....rather then asking it as a personally dedicated question. | |||
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"Attraction may be everything. But how can you form an attraction on just a picture, Surley it's impossible for if you want to meet someone. I mean regardless if thus bloke is a big guy. He could have the most amazing personality and charm you pants off. But isn't looked at twice because he's judged on a picture. no attraction is the first thing you look for its a simple fact of life but to say attraction only then no ive met guys who look fantastic but have the personality of a brick there are several factors to picking a meet its different than finding a life partner but still needs attraction nobody is going to go with someone they dont visually like ... when i go to work there are some people who are funny as fuck but ill not sleep with then as they dont attract...i think the problem is you see attraction as fit guys only so its not us women its you and your perception of things and attraction I have to totally disagree with you. I work in an industry that puts all types of people together and I've seen, so called people who say 'he or she is not there type' fall for somebody souley based on there personality. I don't see attraction as got guys only either. That's why I posed the question.. What is the off put of big guys....rather then asking it as a personally dedicated question. " ok im out lol fab is going to be very hard work for you with that thinking you do realize your on a swinging site ?? its not matchmaker but i do however wish you the best of luck x | |||
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"Attraction may be everything. But how can you form an attraction on just a picture, Surley it's impossible for if you want to meet someone. I mean regardless if thus bloke is a big guy. He could have the most amazing personality and charm you pants off. But isn't looked at twice because he's judged on a picture. no attraction is the first thing you look for its a simple fact of life but to say attraction only then no ive met guys who look fantastic but have the personality of a brick there are several factors to picking a meet its different than finding a life partner but still needs attraction nobody is going to go with someone they dont visually like ... when i go to work there are some people who are funny as fuck but ill not sleep with then as they dont attract...i think the problem is you see attraction as fit guys only so its not us women its you and your perception of things and attraction I have to totally disagree with you. I work in an industry that puts all types of people together and I've seen, so called people who say 'he or she is not there type' fall for somebody souley based on there personality. I don't see attraction as got guys only either. That's why I posed the question.. What is the off put of big guys....rather then asking it as a personally dedicated question. ok im out lol fab is going to be very hard work for you with that thinking you do realize your on a swinging site ?? its not matchmaker but i do however wish you the best of luck x" Haha good debate and I do Appreciate your input and opinion. So thank you. I think sometimes that's what these forums are all about. x | |||
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"Maybe it's having to lift a roll up to see the penis I imagine that's a bit of putting. " But as long as the man can perform and remember sex isn't all about doing the in and out shake it all about and dash. Why would that be off putting? I mean a man could lift his shirt up be slim and have a scare or something across his chest.. Wouldn't that, for sum be equally off-putting? | |||
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"Maybe it's having to lift a roll up to see the penis I imagine that's a bit of putting. " bit of a sad statement to make yet your profile states your well mannered yet this statement proves your not ... = turnoff | |||
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"See too reply to a few of the above posts. Attraction may be everything. But how can you form an attraction on just a picture, Surley it's impossible for if you want to meet someone. I mean regardless if thus bloke is a big guy. He could have the most amazing personality and charm you pants off. But isn't looked at twice because he's judged on a picture. Also this post is aimed at some of the other bigger guys, who are maybe afraid or nervous to put themselves out there or put pictures up incase of ridicule. Hopefully it gives them the confidence to see there are other people out there that actually like bigger guys. " The initial attraction is visual. | |||
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"Maybe it's having to lift a roll up to see the penis I imagine that's a bit of putting. But as long as the man can perform and remember sex isn't all about doing the in and out shake it all about and dash. Why would that be off putting? I mean a man could lift his shirt up be slim and have a scare or something across his chest.. Wouldn't that, for sum be equally off-putting? " We get it now. You seem to be saying that people on here should fuck anyone whether they are attracted to them or not. Right... | |||
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"Maybe it's having to lift a roll up to see the penis I imagine that's a bit of putting. But as long as the man can perform and remember sex isn't all about doing the in and out shake it all about and dash. Why would that be off putting? I mean a man could lift his shirt up be slim and have a scare or something across his chest.. Wouldn't that, for sum be equally off-putting? We get it now. You seem to be saying that people on here should fuck anyone whether they are attracted to them or not. Right..." didnt you know that joining fab garenties you loads of hot girls queing up at your door, good where have you been | |||
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"Maybe it's having to lift a roll up to see the penis I imagine that's a bit of putting. But as long as the man can perform and remember sex isn't all about doing the in and out shake it all about and dash. Why would that be off putting? I mean a man could lift his shirt up be slim and have a scare or something across his chest.. Wouldn't that, for sum be equally off-putting? " im covered in scars and i do ok | |||
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"Haha Think it's you who needs to grow up and get out your own backside And goodnight x" Really? did you even read what i said, and i think you will find most people agree with you | |||
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"Maybe it's having to lift a roll up to see the penis I imagine that's a bit of putting. bit of a sad statement to make yet your profile states your well mannered yet this statement proves your not ... = turnoff" he asked a question I gave an answer nothing Ill mannered about that, I didn't aim it at anyone, what was my answer supposed to be? | |||
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"I think a few of these replies may need to re-read the original post. This isn't aimed a been a personal question about myself. Because if it was I'd of emphasised the fact I was asking for me. I was aiming this as a general question for all males of a bigger nature, as somewhere down the line a few (not all) n may have thought about the above post question and wondered why. None of my replies are personally aimed unless stated, just examples/scenerios as a whole. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion. Just please make sure you read the original post and look at the comment's before you think it's aimed a personal attack. Have a nice day " Some ladies like a chunky gent, some don't. Some want pure gym buff fantasy but you and I are not their target audience. Some will want a more cerebral connection and they are the people I connect with because size isn't that relevant. Personally, I have a predilection for curves but enjoy a person rather than shape. That said, two Weebles trying to bump uglies needs creativity Bear | |||
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"Just for the records, I very much doubt that initial attraction be always visual and visual alone. I have come across a number of guys on here who may not be athletic or tall or whatever is considered attractive, and I have found that some of those men who weren't "perfect" models (Let s face it ... women are not necessarily perfect either?), those men exuded an incredible sex appeal through their imaginative and erotic way of expressing themselves. Some women, myself included, are attracted to a wide linguistic repertoire far more so than pure physical appearance. An intelligent, intuitive man who is able to seduce the mind? Now I would be melting away so much more than through just looking at a picture, no matter how (conventionally) attractive the guy may look. In this context, I find comments such as "having to lift a roll of fat to see the penis" unhelpful to be honest. I was with a guy for over a decade who would have been considered "fat" and he was the sexiest man I have ever met. As always, different strokes for different folks. " Couldn't of said it better myself, seduction starts with the mind. | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man?" For many on here, my self very much included, it’s about physical attraction and that’s all. I’m not here to converse and find attraction in personalities. Just like there’s lots of men that like “curvy, bbw/ bigger... any word you wish to describe” there are women that like the same in men. I don’t think there’s a stigma attached to being bigger in either sex. People just like it or don’t. | |||
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"So I'm quite interested to know, been a bigger guy/fat myself. What's so off putting about a bigger man? I mean, on a previous post there was alot mentioned about personality etc, should be the main thing, which I do agree. I mean aslong as he's clean, tidy and well presentable.. whys there a stigma attached or an off put about a bigger man?" I've never been interested in thinner folks, so I guess it's each to their own | |||
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" I’m not here to converse and find attraction in personalities. Just like there’s lots of men that like “curvy, bbw/ bigger... any word you wish to describe” there are women that like the same in men. I don’t think there’s a stigma attached to being bigger in either sex. People just like it or don’t. " "I’m not here to converse and find attraction in personalities." I think that is probably where the differences lie - while I would not say I am here to converse, conversation is definitely very much part of meeting people before becoming intimate - I could not imagine sex without some connection but some people prefer it this way. "I don’t think there’s a stigma attached to being bigger in either sex. People just like it or don’t." Absolutely agree with you here - besides the world (and fabs) would be boring if it was full of gym bunnies or chunkier people. Diversity makes life (and fabs interesting! | |||
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" I’m not here to converse and find attraction in personalities. Just like there’s lots of men that like “curvy, bbw/ bigger... any word you wish to describe” there are women that like the same in men. I don’t think there’s a stigma attached to being bigger in either sex. People just like it or don’t. "I’m not here to converse and find attraction in personalities." I think that is probably where the differences lie - while I would not say I am here to converse, conversation is definitely very much part of meeting people before becoming intimate - I could not imagine sex without some connection but some people prefer it this way. "I don’t think there’s a stigma attached to being bigger in either sex. People just like it or don’t." Absolutely agree with you here - besides the world (and fabs) would be boring if it was full of gym bunnies or chunkier people. Diversity makes life (and fabs interesting! " Totally agree I'd sooner have sex with a women who had a bubbly personality than a women who was far more attractive but had the personality of a brick | |||
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"Sadly we are in a society that will judge someone on sight alone before knowing someone. We've been at swingers clubs and you can see people turning away from you. Everyone has a preference, be that big, small, short, tall, pink or green. You will hit it off with some, and not with others " You see now what you said above about clubs is interesting. Been a bigger guy, I've just been accepted as a member for Xtasia. The thing thats stopping me from Going, is what you said about people turning away. I mean I'm a very socialable person, an that's all we can do at the moment. But the thought I've been constantly turned away from, is a little off putting. | |||
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"Sadly we are in a society that will judge someone on sight alone before knowing someone. We've been at swingers clubs and you can see people turning away from you. Everyone has a preference, be that big, small, short, tall, pink or green. You will hit it off with some, and not with others You see now what you said above about clubs is interesting. Been a bigger guy, I've just been accepted as a member for Xtasia. The thing thats stopping me from Going, is what you said about people turning away. I mean I'm a very socialable person, an that's all we can do at the moment. But the thought I've been constantly turned away from, is a little off putting. " Don't be put off going, far from it. As said, there will be people that like you and people that don't. When you go. Just socialise a lot and see where that goes | |||
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"Sadly we are in a society that will judge someone on sight alone before knowing someone. We've been at swingers clubs and you can see people turning away from you. Everyone has a preference, be that big, small, short, tall, pink or green. You will hit it off with some, and not with others You see now what you said above about clubs is interesting. Been a bigger guy, I've just been accepted as a member for Xtasia. The thing thats stopping me from Going, is what you said about people turning away. I mean I'm a very socialable person, an that's all we can do at the moment. But the thought I've been constantly turned away from, is a little off putting. " But that’s not your problem. You can’t control people’s reactions. I’d hate to think I’d miss out on something because someone else might not like me. Anyone who’s purposely rude to someone because of any characteristic isn’t the kind of person you’d want to socialise with anyway lol! If I’m looking to date then of course personality and conversation is priority. On here for me it isn’t- i don’t see that as a sad thing about society. And I don’t know anyone in any clubs I’ve attended who has been nasty or rude because of their preferences, I think you’ll find you’d fit right in! X | |||
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"Sadly we are in a society that will judge someone on sight alone before knowing someone. We've been at swingers clubs and you can see people turning away from you. Everyone has a preference, be that big, small, short, tall, pink or green. You will hit it off with some, and not with others You see now what you said above about clubs is interesting. Been a bigger guy, I've just been accepted as a member for Xtasia. The thing thats stopping me from Going, is what you said about people turning away. I mean I'm a very socialable person, an that's all we can do at the moment. But the thought I've been constantly turned away from, is a little off putting. Don't be put off going, far from it. As said, there will be people that like you and people that don't. When you go. Just socialise a lot and see where that goes " I am Going to give it a go, probably this weekend. You've gotta try everything once haven't you. | |||
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"Sadly we are in a society that will judge someone on sight alone before knowing someone. We've been at swingers clubs and you can see people turning away from you. Everyone has a preference, be that big, small, short, tall, pink or green. You will hit it off with some, and not with others " This doesn't necessarily mean they aren't attracted to your body type... I am attracted to faces regardless of anything bar personality... And you would need attractive ones of both, for me to be interested in anything other than talking | |||
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"OP plenty of people said they liked big guys in your last post. Yet here you are again asking the same questions. There is nothing off putting about a big guy who has confidence to pull it off. Like I said on the previous post I know a guy who is fat who doesn’t struggle at all. What’s off putting is your insecurities around it. As a fat girl I do get those insecurities too but keeping posting and being negative about yourself isn’t doing you any favours " The two posts were very different. This posts is asking what the off puts for going with a bigger guy are. | |||
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"OP plenty of people said they liked big guys in your last post. Yet here you are again asking the same questions. There is nothing off putting about a big guy who has confidence to pull it off. Like I said on the previous post I know a guy who is fat who doesn’t struggle at all. What’s off putting is your insecurities around it. As a fat girl I do get those insecurities too but keeping posting and being negative about yourself isn’t doing you any favours " May I also add there are plenty and plenty of posts that duplicate the exact questions that have been asked previously also. The last post had an abundance of questions added to it. One was yes, what is the off put, Two was why feel the need to. Send insulting messages. And three was straight men contacting bigger men when clearly labelled as straight on there profile. This post is one direct question. It's just many have steamed away and bought in other topic factors. | |||
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