FabSwingers.com forum: Bdsm

By *andb13 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bradford

Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."

I am trying to to get into it but not having much luck on here. Difficult for a newbie. Adore the scene though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adore the BDSM scene, I’m the submissive one in our relationship, in my daily life i have so many responsibilities and things I have to be in control of for various reasons so I adore being able to relinquish that control and have him be the one in charge of the situation, turns me to jelly x

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By *ntman83Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Would love to meet a domme single lady or dom couple

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I enjoy being a domme.

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By *arieJayCouple
over a year ago

bly

We adore our Dom sub relationship and both love to switch x We are currently exploring flogging with canes and paddles.... marking each other so we know we are owned x

There is definitely a fine line between pain and pleasure

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By *eldomVanillaMan
over a year ago

London

I would not say I'm fully into the BDSM scene far too inexperience. But I do very much enjoy a bit of kink thrown in now and then. It helps add a bit of excitement something different.

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By *anPsurreycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

Yes absolutely love it and looking for another sub to join us at some point but will say when

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By *uicy mushroomMan
over a year ago

elephant and Castle

"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."

Love my little weird mushroom dick being humiliated

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

We are a Dom couple, who enjoy introducing people into the scene.

We were (will be?) active in both our local and the Midlands scene.

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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

Luna enjoyed her time in the dungeon at pandora's last night. Our latest pic is the result of said session.

Mr H.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries. "

To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never tried but curious to know

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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

That's a very fair point, i think that's probably what i meant too, those that think being "dom" means being a dangerous arsehole.

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Something we were just starting to get into before covid went and shut down the club we go to lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We switch. Stone being dom 60% of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey there.... I'm a bdsm lover... I started my journey in 2012 after my divorce and a 20 year vanilla relationship.... I've never looked back, and have found that I'm a sensual, tactile pleasure/pain dom... who loves shibari rope play.... ill never go back... its my life now and I love it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s interesting re 50 shades. It definitely peaked a lot of curiosity which was welcome. I’m completely sub. My plays along as domme but I crave something more serious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although fifty shades showed bdsm in the wrong light.... it did start couples talking about it more... and more couples starting their journey in the kink world.... sometimes I have to explain to people its not just whips, chains and pain.... the sensual touching, the connecting, the total trust and respect given to each other in a proper kink relationship is soo much more mind blowing than a regular relationship.... the connection is soo much deeper and on many different levels.... there is no feeling like it......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although fifty shades showed bdsm in the wrong light.... it did start couples talking about it more... and more couples starting their journey in the kink world.... sometimes I have to explain to people its not just whips, chains and pain.... the sensual touching, the connecting, the total trust and respect given to each other in a proper kink relationship is soo much more mind blowing than a regular relationship.... the connection is soo much deeper and on many different levels.... there is no feeling like it......

Yes the feeling is quite something

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By *istress B and BrookeCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Love it

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By *he_virgin_maryWoman
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere!

I've been out of the scene for quite a while but have got quite an itch to get back into it.

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By *andb13 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bradford

Does anyone know of a well equipped dungeon in the Yorkshire area that is for hire?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/21 20:28:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been known to dip my toe in every now and then....

Managed to commit some time and resources to building a number of discreet bdsm benches, swings, restraints etc which are used on occasion.

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By *unforyou73Man
over a year ago

worcester weekend in exmouth

I’m into bdsm been a sub for a few years and love it done many things and always happy to give myself to a domme to use me

Love to find a play partner locally to me

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By *oodGirl_BadGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cleveleys

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have failed to understand it all for years but we both really love the outfits and have done a fair few pictures in dungeons with 'staged' whipping on restraint pictures. We can never get models to help out though.

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By *ttoWoman
over a year ago

llanelli

Would love to find a local switch for play, bdsm remains in porn only for now. No clubs in Wales atm

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It can be fun with the right person

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Been to several fetish clubs in my time and had some very weird but exciting experiences within

Apart from swingers clubs and gay venues, a fetish club is my next preference to visit

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"Does anyone know of a well equipped dungeon in the Yorkshire area that is for hire?"

Leeds dungeon but I seem to recall someone saying recently that its closed down. Pandora's have a well equipped dungeon but then you would have to attend on a club night along with everyone else.

Mr H.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first ever meet 18 months ago is still my DD, I’m very submissive, and he’s made me feel safe enough to experiment and have lots of new and exciting experiences.

I love it, and we get filthier all the time

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By *ustcyberMan
over a year ago

North Herts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love being a sub to himself

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By *hangerMan
over a year ago

brighton

Absolutely love BDSM. I am normally sub and love my limits being extended.

Of course, trust between the parties involved, is crucial.

Aftercare is equally important in intensive scenes. There is a lot more to it than many people realise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe someone on here can help me get in to this any offers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a single guy doesn’t help very much anywhere here ….

But I’d love to be my sub to a great couple or lady

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I used to be very active as a Domme, hoping to get back into it.

Got a couple of potential local subs lined up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

love BDSM

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

There are elements of 50 that are D/s behavioural attitude.

Makes me laugh when people dis that through.

Suspect that people who have experienced D/s relationships (not experiences) will recognise elements of 50 to know it was written from experience, not fantasy.

Suspect the film dumbed it down.

Just my perspective.

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By *teveandrocMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Looking for dom mistress

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By *arah_TGTV/TS
over a year ago

amesbury

Love bdsm

Difficult to find experienced Dom/domes though

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By *teveandrocMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Im a willing sub anytime

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I think there are a number of congruent Dom’s on here.

Think most people want to play B/d though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hoping for some bruises soon

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

This thread is a pleasant change from the Alpha male thread, that cussed off people who called themselves alpha, and then veered off to insulting people who call themselves Doms. It was clearly half full of people who knew nothing about BDSM. The other half were the usual suspects that had had bad experiences and tarred every dominant with the same brush. So respect to those on this thread

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By *oirinMarkusCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands and West London

Submissive in the bedroom. Would like to find a regular Dominating man with a love of toys x

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries. "

Agree trust boundaries and communication followed by some aftercare

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

Agree trust boundaries and communication followed by some aftercare "

Safe words and consent

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

Agree consent is high up there as with boundaries

Without either could lead to a potential disaster, or even a horrific trigger of past experience

I'm no expert, I'm learning as much as I can about dynamics before I find mine

It's not all about whips n handcuffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the BD part, but not the SM

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"We have failed to understand it all for years but we both really love the outfits and have done a fair few pictures in dungeons with 'staged' whipping on restraint pictures. We can never get models to help out though."

Is this what's called Cos play

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Personally I think, discussion is the key.

If people who have been in a relationship understand the basics, it is finite boundary details that are important.

Think the weird one is the type of after care, do people judge between Doms.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being dominated by Miss B is the best experience I have ever had. Kinky, unknown, but owned and loved. I can see new kinks being explored n addition to the flogger, whips etc… in private and clubs.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue."

OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue."

A verb is a doing word. So how you work that out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.

OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle "

Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.

OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle

Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun"

And I'm still learning

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By *andJDubaiCouple
over a year ago

Dubai, with visits to Glasgow, Edinburgh and London

"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."

Stag/Dom and Vixen/sub couple here. We Love the mental connection and mind play involved as well as the physical side.

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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago

huddersfield/manchester

I love it. So many options. I guess I'm switch but more naturally sub. I love the mind play, sensuality and exploration of the senses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s something I de like to try being a sub

Anyone give me pointers what to expected of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are a Domme sub couple, so us

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By *eviant_domMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I thoroughly enjoy BDSM, but for me it's not the be all and end all.

It's fun to introduce others into it, and help them explore, but it's more about building that trust an dynamic, and figuring out where to run with it, rather than just having the activity (e.g. flogging, caning, tying, etc)

Communication and consent is the biggest thing for BDSM to be fun (and keep you both safe)

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

We are a Dom/Domme couple who have been on scene for a few years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met at a social (munch)on the bdsm scene (K's first ever outing)

Our first date was the BBB and aftermath

that was nearly 6 years ago and pre covid very active on the scene

We actually got to our first post-covid (outdoors) munch yesterday to meet old (and new) friends.

D/s and DDlg couple here and so hoping clubs return to some sort of normality soon.

So yes, a major part of our life together

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By *hite_peonyWoman
over a year ago

South East

Yup, love it

I’m submissive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can’t wait to explore the scene further after a recent taste to further explore our kink. Would love to chat to more experienced people and experience more practical fun

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By *ediMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.

A verb is a doing word. So how you work that out"

Check you out, haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a bratty sub, he is a talented experienced Dom whom I love to challenge and put a smile on his face.

I couldn't live without the lifestyle now it's so important to me

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By *razywantingfunWoman
over a year ago

rochdale

Absolutely love it I’m submissive as have so much control in my own life love to hand that over to someone else was hoping for a meet today but been cancelled on last minute

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.

OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle

Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun"

Think you will find it is a generalised nominalisation.

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By *ediMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Had some light experiences in a dungeon and found it to be intriguing and such a turn on, obviously we all have our preferences, would be great to explore further with the right people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any couples within our age interest fancy chatting with us? Miss B is Domme and Mr S is Sub x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any couples within our age interest fancy chatting with us? Miss B is Domme and Mr S is Sub x"

Always up for a chat but we manage to be both side of your age range...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any couples within our age interest fancy chatting with us? Miss B is Domme and Mr S is Sub x

Always up for a chat but we manage to be both side of your age range...

Hi, would be happy to chat, look forward to saying hi and talking all things bdsm

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By *ocktoplaywithMan
over a year ago

Derby

I’d love to be tied up and used by a couple. Maybe some CBT

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By *ubmissive guyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I love being sub, as in D/s. But not into dungeons and the extremes of BDSM.

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By *linyMan
over a year ago

Manchester/London

I enjoy tease and denial of orgasms and post orgasm torture but ONLY with the right lady

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I adore being a submissive ,Have all power remove from me and be under the total power of a mistress

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems that not many are willing to teach or take on inexperienced men...so to answer....no idea

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too.

I am trying to to get into it but not having much luck on here. Difficult for a newbie. Adore the scene though. "
try another site. This one, doesn't really cater for those who well and truly into bdsm. Before anyone jumps on me it just doesn't. I've been in the fetish bdsm scene over 35 years. All I found on here are fantasists

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

Join the bdsm scene. Get yourself seen. No one jumps in head first with anyone. There has, to be trust on both sides

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We switch too me male (60%) female Femdom (40%). We love it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am Predominantly a Dom in both MF and MM (I am bisexual) roles but can easy turn to "switch" roles - nothing to heavy more to do with control and punishment as apposed to anything seriously heavy

J xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it and as a switch think I enjoy the best of both worlds. Especially love tie and tease.

My submissive side never gets to play so hopefully find a dominant (especially a lady) to submit to.

Still a lot of things to discover

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By *ressed4fun03TV/TS
over a year ago

Midlands

I would happily submit to the right lady or couple.

Ive had a bit of experience with guys dominating me too and quite enjoyed it.

Im way to sissy to dominate a lady but think it would be fun to be the pvc clad mistress to a guy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a submissive side, but can be dominant too. I love impact play and restraints and I absolutely love it when I'm indulged in it. Ropes and a 'happy knot' involved are even more fun

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We enjoy it, currently going through with a purchase of a new house, with a cellar to convert lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been playing around on the BDSM scene for 20 plus years now

I'm fairly focused on bondage etc, but always enjoy D/s and it's fun to play around with impact play too

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By *andAukCouple
over a year ago

leeds

How do couples work if both sway more to been sub?

This is something we struggle finding the balance with.

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By *inkipleasure4uCouple
over a year ago

Farnborough

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"How do couples work if both sway more to been sub?

This is something we struggle finding the balance with. "

You find a 3rd more dominant play partner, or learn to switch.

As we are both on the dominant side we have made friends with play partners that are more on the submissive side.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"It's not just about finding A dom

What's the dynamic

Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others

As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self

I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs

Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.

Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.

OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle

Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun

Think you will find it is a generalised nominalisation."

Apologies for the long post.

I am not sure what a "generalised nominalisation" is, although I know about the process of nominalisation. Given that "dominate" and "dominant" are derived from Latin, their positions as verb and noun have long been established. The dictionary I use is the New Elizabethan dictionary from 1956 and it has "dominant" as a noun (amongst other parts of speech). But that is all irrelevant because largely in BDSM communities "Dominant" "submissive" and "M/S" are not used in their dictionary definitions. In fact people seem largely to make up their own meaning of what is a "Dominant", "submissive", and M/S.

I make a judgement about people who conflate " being dominant" with being "a Dominant".

I also make a judgement about people who brand 50SOG as being the root of all evil in BDSM. It is simply badly written erotica. That being said I have played with a number of bottoms who got into the scene through being validated by 50SOG. Conversely I know a number of dominants who would not know one end of a flogger from another or any of the norms of the kink community that present themselves as Dominants and they have never read the books or seen the films. My take is this, first is the media portrayal of BDSM is and has has been about sex and that has been the case since the latter half of the 20th century. Second, BDSM, Kink, dominant, submissive, and M/S have become porn terms. Which means that you have easily available clips of woman obediantly having wild vanilla sex with these masters and dominants. If it's a domme at a crack of a whip they are pegging some guy or playing with the male sub's genitals. The problem with how porn portrays BDSM is that there is no context and no discussion of consent or negotiation (well except those made by the Kink company but on the streaming sites the negotiation and discussion of boundaries those are cut out). Also porn does not show the relationship context. The modern view is that being a top or a dominant is not about sex but being responsive and responsible. That is why I believe it is from porn most men get their idea of BDSM.

In my experience there are some good Doms on Fab, who I know from the London and home counties scene. The issue is that people choose dominants on the basis they choose sexual partners not on how they should choose a dominant.

I don't think the other site is better for meeting people, it contains the same issues as here. For a variety of reasons it seems,(in my view) to have got worse recently.

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

I'm not into the BDSM scene per sey in its truest form (if there is such a true form really anyway) but I do feel the need for a spanking now and again

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Well put together post.

However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a

person in a wheelbarrow however to me dominant is a human behaviour therefor a verb and nominalised into a noun, a nominalisation that appears to taken as a title and generalised by the porn industry.

Just my perspective.

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By *as_no_ideaWoman
over a year ago

......

Been over 10 years and still loving the BDSM Scene. Always something new to learn and create excitement/fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoyed having a Dominant nature for over 25 years and when you get the connection with a sub the dynamics are amazing. Also enjoy taking this into cuckolding the right couple but that is a whole different subject

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"Well put together post.

However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a

Just my perspective.

Everyone is entitled to their perspective,I think polite debate is a way we can explore a subject and may be have our views challenged or strengthened. There is (in my view) no right or wrong about BDSM except the need for fully informed consent, capacity to consent, being safe, a lack of abuse and your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it (but please don't expose it to me).

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Well put together post.

However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a

Just my perspective.

Consent is imperative and a given.

People’s projection, isn’t.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Well put together post.

However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a

Just my perspective.

Consent is imperative and a given.

People’s projection, isn’t."

Especially third party.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"Well put together post.

However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a

Just my perspective.

Consent is imperative and a given.

People’s projection, isn’t."

Fully informed consent and capacity to consent is what separates BDSM from abuse.

Unfortunately consent cannot be taken as a given and the sub and Dom each have to discuss consent to make sure they are on the same page, and listen and take on board what each is saying. If you are into podcasts Swinging Outside The Lines episode "Ski, Fuck, Fuck" has a great example of what happens when you don't discuss consent and it is just assumed.

This is because there are different approaches to consent e.g. the Tea approach to consent; the everything is doable apart from that which is excluded approach; there is the nothing is doable apart from that which is included approach. There is the I am the Dominant, and you as the sub have to do everything I want, because you consented to be my sub, therefore you consent to everything that I as the dominant wants, approach.

Also, there is I forgot to tell that I am married/ have a partner but you are to be treated as consenting to the relationship and everything we did.

Consent also evolves, because people change in the scene, and to assume someone you played with six months earlier plays the same is a dangerous mistake.

We are all entitled to our views, and I apologise if I misunderstood yours. Consent is the essential bedrock, but should never be taken as a given.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Totally agree, was exploring a possible D/s relationship nothing agreed, then at at a club the lady I was talking to ( who didn’t believe my wife knew) came in and fully kissed her with no consent at all.

I have a dry sense of humour, often misinterpreted.

Consent is imperative, projecting from rejection isn’t.

Every stick has two ends.

Don’t wave it at me.

Find facts.

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

That's a very fair point, i think that's probably what i meant too, those that think being "dom" means being a dangerous arsehole."

I've found with someone recently that A dom in control is totally different to being controlling...

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.

I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.

That's a very fair point, i think that's probably what i meant too, those that think being "dom" means being a dangerous arsehole.

I've found with someone recently that A dom in control is totally different to being controlling... "

To me, a Dom wants to be adored, and that doesn’t come from porn BDSM.

Controlling sensuality doesn’t come from porn.

Hey, just me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are a Dom/sub couple, although Faith likes to switch with another sub. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We love it. Love to share too

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By *outhyorkstwoMan
over a year ago

sheffield

We would love to be invited to a house party so we could show all our paraphernalia.

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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I'm very much into bdsm and very submissive, would love to go to a dungeon it's my ultimate dream. X

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By *etasubTV/TS
over a year ago

West of Newcastle

Love being the sub in bdsm. Had a fair bit of experience being dominated over the years by women,men, TV's and a few couples.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

We have been in and out for years, before our son we lived D/s

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By *aidtobespankedCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Love it!

We are very keen to have meets with others who share the same kinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."

Totally love it, more than swinging actually.

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Love being a submissive . I've been in this world for some time .Can't get enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would love to find a local switch for play, bdsm remains in porn only for now. No clubs in Wales atm

House du Croix isn't far if you can get to Bristol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learned alot about myself and the scene over the last couple of years, but will ever remain the student (you can never know it all). I am all the way on the D side of the fence with quite the sadistic streak.

For those keen to learn but might want the need for anonymity, the BDSM community on Tumblr are a great source of info.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the mental Stimulation of bdsm world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I created my profile I actually stipulate I was into bdsm and not vanilla stuff. Got replies from most women who were not interested or didn’t know about it but didn’t want to try.

Tbh I didn’t think it was that big on fabs. For bdsm I rather used the other two better sites. But if some subs on here want to try….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/07/21 08:55:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a Dom couple, who enjoy introducing people into the scene.

We were (will be?) active in both our local and the Midlands scene.

I’ve just read your reply in the forum and was wondering if you could offer me advice at all please. I couldn’t message privately as you have blocked singles guys, but please look at my profile so you can see my set up (and that my wife is a member of Xtasia too).

I’ve recently become interested in the BDSM scene and very interested in the submissive/passive role. I believe this is because I have a very busy lifestyle and job where I’m always making decisions/in control...and I think I want to be able to safely give all that up for a brief moment in time.

However, I don’t know where to start.

Ideally I would like to chat with those on the scene and maybe attend some events as a spectator to begin with.

If you could help or offer advice, then please could you reach out to me.

Many thanks.

Andy.

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By *istressdandsubtCouple
over a year ago

caterham

We do like to mix BDSM with play love the roleplaying and all the options makes for a great night of play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to try bring a sub to a Mistress, but not had any luck on here. Seems no one wants beginners!

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By *ecker30Man
over a year ago

Northwich

I'd love to be submissive to a mistress to. But no look yet in finding a willing woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a Dom couple, who enjoy introducing people into the scene.

We were (will be?) active in both our local and the Midlands scene.

However, I don’t know where to start.

Ideally I would like to chat with those on the scene and maybe attend some events as a spectator to begin with.

If you could help or offer advice, then please could you reach out to me.

Many thanks.

Andy.

Better luck in a fetish site rather than here… they have forums and groups for beginners…

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