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wife lost interest in sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Talking to a lot of guys on here,lots say they come on here because there wives have lost interest in sex (im one of them),but is it that they have lost interest in sex or they are bored with there sex life with there husband.I would love it if my wife had one or two male friends who she could dress up for ,enjoy an evening and come home looking that nice relaxed way i remember.I dont want her to fall in love just enjoy some different sex.Unfortunately my wife insists she is not interested in te idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi William

This is a hard one for most men in same/similar situation, because we are dammed if we do and dammed when we do lol.

It is just a fact of life that one or other partner remains more sexually active than the other, both are committed to each other and niether want to upset what they have, yet one will have more desires sexually

You are not without your admirers or sexual partners and providing you play safe and protect your wife, then I think your detained to keep things secret

Last but not least, there are many topics posted here along similar lines, so do not be put off by some comments

J xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can empathise with what has been said.

I was honest with my wife when I realized I was bisexual,she was originally supportive but has now changed direction saying that I have spoilt the relationship.

The marriage is now non sexual with constant bickering.

Even at my age I feel it is time for a fresh start as I should not be ashamed of my sexuality.

Again we are dammed if we do and dammed if we don't.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Unfortunately you can't make her want to do something that she isn't into.

Maybe she's turned off by you asking her to meet other men, or she has an inkling you're meeting others already for sex op.

Only you know the answer to that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Unfortunately you can't make her want to do something that she isn't into.

Maybe she's turned off by you asking her to meet other men, or she has an inkling you're meeting others already for sex op.

Only you know the answer to that

"
I have not asked her to meet other men ,just said that i would not object if she wanted to .

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

[Removed by poster at 14/06/21 15:21:29]

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

You go sisters pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just give her the boot and find someone who likes it up the bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a really tough situation all round but like anything in a relationship, communication and shared load is key.

Women are turned on in the mind, other issues get in the way of that, hence women go off sex for many other reasons. I would gamble it is often to due to being unhappy or having a breakdown in other parts of their relationship/life that have killed their sex drive. Like sharing the load of domestic chores, kids, the mental organization of running a household (without micromanaging), feeling unhappy with their body shape, stressed and not having any chill time to themselves, the general level of couples wooing/ flirting/ intimacy (outside of foreplay/sex), unhappiness from childhood trauma or family drama or work stress, or not knowing how good sex feels to be able to enjoy it & miss it. No judgement or blame here, just thinking back on the times I have gone off sex myself.

Couples counseling is the best way to get to the route of it. Along with generally doing more of the life load/ helping and asking if they are happy, need more or less of something else in the relationship, and rekindling the frequency and intimacy of loving words, hand holding, cuddles, kisses, banter, jokes, spontaneous adventures, etc (all without any expectations of sex) can all help. Working on going from 'comfortable routine' to 'shared load and adventures'. Be the partner you want to have. Don't talk about the issue being the lack of sex, talk about the issue being the breakdown in communication, intimacy and change of the relationship experience now from how it was in the beginning to now. How can you help her be in a place where she wants intimacy and sex, taking care of her life needs, so she can feel able to take care of your life needs. And again, counselling/ communication is key. Be honest and be prepared for ugly answers, take ego out if it, don't hear blame, hear the problem and agree together on how to fix it.

Also, watching porn is oneway but seeking sex or kink from communicating with people elsewhere, like being on here if done behind a partners back, corrodes trust.

Good luck in facing the issue head on to fix it x

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By *inkipleasure4uCouple
over a year ago

Farnborough


"Its a really tough situation all round but like anything in a relationship, communication and shared load is key.

Women are turned on in the mind, other issues get in the way of that, hence women go off sex for many other reasons. I would gamble it is often to due to being unhappy or having a breakdown in other parts of their relationship/life that have killed their sex drive. Like sharing the load of domestic chores, kids, the mental organization of running a household (without micromanaging), feeling unhappy with their body shape, stressed and not having any chill time to themselves, the general level of couples wooing/ flirting/ intimacy (outside of foreplay/sex), unhappiness from childhood trauma or family drama or work stress, or not knowing how good sex feels to be able to enjoy it & miss it. No judgement or blame here, just thinking back on the times I have gone off sex myself.

Couples counseling is the best way to get to the route of it. Along with generally doing more of the life load/ helping and asking if they are happy, need more or less of something else in the relationship, and rekindling the frequency and intimacy of loving words, hand holding, cuddles, kisses, banter, jokes, spontaneous adventures, etc (all without any expectations of sex) can all help. Working on going from 'comfortable routine' to 'shared load and adventures'. Be the partner you want to have. Don't talk about the issue being the lack of sex, talk about the issue being the breakdown in communication, intimacy and change of the relationship experience now from how it was in the beginning to now. How can you help her be in a place where she wants intimacy and sex, taking care of her life needs, so she can feel able to take care of your life needs. And again, counselling/ communication is key. Be honest and be prepared for ugly answers, take ego out if it, don't hear blame, hear the problem and agree together on how to fix it.

Also, watching porn is oneway but seeking sex or kink from communicating with people elsewhere, like being on here if done behind a partners back, corrodes trust.

Good luck in facing the issue head on to fix it x "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Talking to a lot of guys on here,lots say they come on here because there wives have lost interest in sex (im one of them),but is it that they have lost interest in sex or they are bored with there sex life with there husband.I would love it if my wife had one or two male friends who she could dress up for ,enjoy an evening and come home looking that nice relaxed way i remember.I dont want her to fall in love just enjoy some different sex.Unfortunately my wife insists she is not interested in te idea."

Your last sentence tells you all you need to know.

Have you had the discussion about what she feels might rekindle her interest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talking to a lot of guys on here,lots say they come on here because there wives have lost interest in sex (im one of them),but is it that they have lost interest in sex or they are bored with there sex life with there husband.I would love it if my wife had one or two male friends who she could dress up for ,enjoy an evening and come home looking that nice relaxed way i remember.I dont want her to fall in love just enjoy some different sex.Unfortunately my wife insists she is not interested in te idea.

Your last sentence tells you all you need to know.

Have you had the discussion about what she feels might rekindle her interest?"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Op why do you feel that your wife's interest can be rekindled by her fulfilling your fantasy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often the solution to lack of sex requires a lot more effort to fix than some are willing to do.

Suggesting she can have sex else where when she doesn't want it from you isn't a solution to her lack of sex drive, and it sounds like you want her to agree so you get a hall pass to get it else where too.

Be careful what you wish for though, as swinging from a bad relationship place is highly likely to be the beginning of the end - when people get their relationship needs met elsewhere (sex, attention, someone who listens).

Most couples start exploring swinging from a place of being in a great sexual and intimate relationship, with a solid foundation and not a lacking one x

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By *ob_bieMan
over a year ago

Bath


"Its a really tough situation all round but like anything in a relationship, communication and shared load is key.

Women are turned on in the mind, other issues get in the way of that, hence women go off sex for many other reasons. I would gamble it is often to due to being unhappy or having a breakdown in other parts of their relationship/life that have killed their sex drive. Like sharing the load of domestic chores, kids, the mental organization of running a household (without micromanaging), feeling unhappy with their body shape, stressed and not having any chill time to themselves, the general level of couples wooing/ flirting/ intimacy (outside of foreplay/sex), unhappiness from childhood trauma or family drama or work stress, or not knowing how good sex feels to be able to enjoy it & miss it. No judgement or blame here, just thinking back on the times I have gone off sex myself.

Couples counseling is the best way to get to the route of it. Along with generally doing more of the life load/ helping and asking if they are happy, need more or less of something else in the relationship, and rekindling the frequency and intimacy of loving words, hand holding, cuddles, kisses, banter, jokes, spontaneous adventures, etc (all without any expectations of sex) can all help. Working on going from 'comfortable routine' to 'shared load and adventures'. Be the partner you want to have. Don't talk about the issue being the lack of sex, talk about the issue being the breakdown in communication, intimacy and change of the relationship experience now from how it was in the beginning to now. How can you help her be in a place where she wants intimacy and sex, taking care of her life needs, so she can feel able to take care of your life needs. And again, counselling/ communication is key. Be honest and be prepared for ugly answers, take ego out if it, don't hear blame, hear the problem and agree together on how to fix it.

Also, watching porn is oneway but seeking sex or kink from communicating with people elsewhere, like being on here if done behind a partners back, corrodes trust.

Good luck in facing the issue head on to fix it x "

Very very very well said!!!!

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"Its a really tough situation all round but like anything in a relationship, communication and shared load is key.

Women are turned on in the mind, other issues get in the way of that, hence women go off sex for many other reasons. I would gamble it is often to due to being unhappy or having a breakdown in other parts of their relationship/life that have killed their sex drive. Like sharing the load of domestic chores, kids, the mental organization of running a household (without micromanaging), feeling unhappy with their body shape, stressed and not having any chill time to themselves, the general level of couples wooing/ flirting/ intimacy (outside of foreplay/sex), unhappiness from childhood trauma or family drama or work stress, or not knowing how good sex feels to be able to enjoy it & miss it. No judgement or blame here, just thinking back on the times I have gone off sex myself.

Couples counseling is the best way to get to the route of it. Along with generally doing more of the life load/ helping and asking if they are happy, need more or less of something else in the relationship, and rekindling the frequency and intimacy of loving words, hand holding, cuddles, kisses, banter, jokes, spontaneous adventures, etc (all without any expectations of sex) can all help. Working on going from 'comfortable routine' to 'shared load and adventures'. Be the partner you want to have. Don't talk about the issue being the lack of sex, talk about the issue being the breakdown in communication, intimacy and change of the relationship experience now from how it was in the beginning to now. How can you help her be in a place where she wants intimacy and sex, taking care of her life needs, so she can feel able to take care of your life needs. And again, counselling/ communication is key. Be honest and be prepared for ugly answers, take ego out if it, don't hear blame, hear the problem and agree together on how to fix it.

Also, watching porn is oneway but seeking sex or kink from communicating with people elsewhere, like being on here if done behind a partners back, corrodes trust.

Good luck in facing the issue head on to fix it x "

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By *rancis6Couple
over a year ago

sale

[Removed by poster at 14/06/21 18:35:55]

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

Sadly my wife lost interest a few years ago and we discussed it and she's happy for me to look elsewhere for sex. I'm on here looking for couples to make up a threesome as I don't want there to be 'another woman'in our relationship. I've no idea if it's going to work or how each one of us will feel if it actually happens but I'll be honest with her if I have something arranged. She used to be turned on by the thought of a threesome but insisted it was just a fantasy. At the moment a twosome is a rarity although fingers crossed her sex drive will return and maybe the thought of me being on here will encourage her to join me. Basically my advice would be to see what her views on you playing away are and take it from there. However if she has no interest in sex with you I'd bet my house she's not interested in sex with two strangers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stopped wanting sex with my husband when I stopped trusting him... No, I don't mean I thought he was cheating

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